Does anyone else hate having their ils to stay?
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Anonymous
| That’s really the whole jist of it - I just really hate having them. I feel guilty about it but they come with a thousand pieces of paraphernalia, fil takes up all the air in the room, won’t go anywhere, won’t sit outside, won’t eat anything that’s not processed meat, holds court about stuff and burps and farts at will. Anyone else feel this dread about their in laws coming? |
Anonymous
| Judging by the posts here, most people seem to. |
Anonymous
|
They are my husband's parents. He loves them, they love him. How on earth could I possibly "hate" them when they are the reason that the man I love is alive?
Grow up, OP. |
Anonymous
| I do, but I also generally hate having people stay at my house. |
Anonymous
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I hate having my ILs visit. They expect to be “on” from 7 a.m. until 11 p.m., always together and “chatting.” After dinner, they sit and wait for us to clean the kitchen and put the kids to bed, then they expect us to sit and talk with them until 11 p.m. when they go to bed. Nope! I no longer do that. I leave DH to handle them as much as he wants but when the kids are in bed, I retreat. I also make up endless errands to get me out of the house, to escape their focused attention and demands for an audience.
My parents also can be annoying, but here’s what: they go to bed after helping clean up dinner, and don’t expect to sit around in a circle starting at each other all night. We have a pleasant day, they help clean up after dinner, then they go downstairs to read or decompress and go to bed. They leave us alone to decompress and I appreciate that. |
Anonymous
| Oh absolutely I hate having my in-laws stay with us. But unlike PP my husband doesn’t like it either |
Anonymous
OP didn’t say she hates her in-laws. She said she hates when they visit. And guess what? Different people can have different viewpoints and experiences. It doesn’t mean they need to “grow up.” Part of becoming mature is realizing this. If you don’t mind your in-laws visiting, that’s nice for you. Maybe OP’s are annoying in ways yours aren’t. |
Anonymous
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Yes, though like other PPs, I don’t live house guests in general. I dread my own parents staying with us too. I think it’s harder with family, too, because both of our parents don’t really act like guests in our home. Like except for my MIL (who works hard to be polite), they will openly criticize things about our house or complain about things like our dog or a neighbor making noise in their yard when they want to nap. They wouldn’t behave this way if they were visiting friends, but they feel comfortable doing it at our place because “we’re family” and also they still think of us as children sometimes.
Sometimes our families stay in hotels when they visit snd I always enjoy those visits a lot more because there are more chances to get breaks and people tend ti be more pleasant to each other. |
Anonymous
I stand by my response. Only petty, little, insecure people allow others to dictate how they feel. If you are a mature adult, then you should be able to work around your own preferences to be hospitable and accepting of the people who love your loved one. Why on earth are you willing to give power to people you "hate" to have in your home? That's insane. Grow up. |
Anonymous
Same here! |
Anonymous
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inlaws are local so not a big deal ther,e but I hate whem my mom comes to visit.
love pops, but mom brings so much baggage, drama and judgement... |
Anonymous
| Yes! They are so self centered, pushy and annoying. Truly horrible guests that whine and pout when they don’t get invited more often. What is weird is that DH’s grandmother is still alive and she’s amazing. She never pushes herself on anyone, never tried to meddle in her kids’ business, stayed in their houses or pressured anyone to attend anything. Her only flaw is that she raised insanely self centered, attention seeking boomers. DH, his siblings and cousins all joke about how their parents were catered to by grandma and now expect their kids to cater to them. They are the taker generation. We’ll see if it skips a generation and if our kids end up as badly behaved as their grandparents. |
Anonymous
Pp if you never allow others to dictate how you feel why on earth are you on a ‘family relationships’ message board? Just to endlessly tell people not to have feelings about other humans? |
Anonymous
This, but I would say something about the burping and farting. |
Anonymous
| No everyone on FCUM loves their in laws. There's no such thing as an in law joke here, Jeff kicks you off |