Advice: I had an altercation with a homeless person

[Anonymous]

I was walking with my son on 14th street to get ice cream but got distracted and soon realized we were turned around. I stopped on a corner - was talking to my son and a homeless guy took a Frappuccino out the garbage and hit me in the face. I was stunned but was scared. We went into Teds bulletin to rinse off and wait a while for the guy to leave. I then just asked a staff to accompany me to the corner to cross the street. Of course this was traumatic but I also had a hard time explaining to my son what happened and how to deal. He is 6. He was nervous, I was nervous.. all my best judgement went out the window. I’ve given homeless people money on occasion - to show my son empathy. I dont think I ever want to do that again. I feel violated.
Im also a bit scared now - is there anything I can do better? Any thing I can teach my son? I also wanted to fight back but something in me said it wasn’t worth it. This is weird to ask for advice — but if you have any that would be great. I’m lucky it was just a drink and not glass or spit or metal.

[Anonymous]

I’m so sorry OP. You were assaulted and were in shock after. I don’t have words of advice other than to be kind to yourself.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry this happened Op. We are in a very odd time in history where mental illness is rampant, anger and division as well. I think it’s ok to act as you did per your unexpected response and I think it’s also part of real life experience for your child. Not everyone is safe, not everyone is well but we are doing the best we can in the environments we are living in.

FWIW, I grew up in the city, in the 90s when things were much worse than they are now. We had roaches and government cheese and many of my friends had parents who were addicted to crack. I still enjoyed my childhood, I knew what crack pipes looked like and understood how fragile life was but it taught me to be empathetic to those suffering from things like poverty and addiction. I tend to think things can always be worse and apply that to everyday life as an adult.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry OP. I hope you can rest and heal. And don’t feel bad for not giving money anymore, it’s really a destructive thing to do. Best to give money to organizations that provide support, if you feel inclined.

[Anonymous]

Because one person who may or may not have been homeless you no longer want to give money to homeless people? Weird logic.

[Anonymous]

Sorry you experienced this! Your actions taught your son how to handle something like that. He may ask you why you did y instead of z, but easy to explain. But your actions were appropriate and speak volumes.

When my kids were that age we sometimes talked about how our bodies get sick or don’t feel well, and for some people, their brains don’t always feel well. We see a doctor for both and sometimes get medicine for both.

[Anonymous]

I’m so sorry. Try to remember it was one person not a category of people. If you need support look for a desensitization counselor. Don’t read more into it than it is. Not minimizing for you just don’t want you to making bigger than it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because one person who may or may not have been homeless you no longer want to give money to homeless people? Weird logic.

Not weird logic, it’s sensible. No one should give homeless money. There are places to help.

[Anonymous]

I am really sorry that happened and it must have been scary.

As for what to do going forward, drop romanticizing homeless people. Yes some homeless people are violent. Yes some take advantage of charity. Yes some don’t appreciate the donations given. Don’t give to people on the street. Don’t worry about crossing the street and avoiding someone who gives you pause. Trust your gut and turn around, cross the street whatever. Don’t immediately defend homeless people in conversation by insisting they are just people down on their luck. Sure a few are but many have serious problems. When you constantly tell yourself that and other people do to you ignore the reality when you are in a situation.

[Anonymous]

I'm glad you were not hurt, OP. You are in shock, and it will take you a while to process what happened. If it makes you feel better you can file a police report. I'm sorry your son had to see that. Please reassure him that you all right, but that he has to be careful of homeless people, not because they are inherently bad, but because mental illness can make them aggressive. Now would be a good time to make that distinction between different kinds of wrong behavior, some of them driven by diseases of the mind. My oldest has severe ADHD and knew he was different by the time he was 4, so at 6 he knew that sometimes people are not always in control of their behavior, and do bad things, even when they are also capable of doing kind things.

[Anonymous]

You should report this to the police. The next time this mentally ill homeless man might decide to stab or impale someone (remember the story a couple years ago of the young woman jogging down 11th street who was stabbed and died?). The homeless deserve empathy and we need to hold our leaders accountable for building the network of supports, but we also deserve to be safe from criminal assault, which is what you experienced. I’m so sorry, OP. And agree, do not give the homeless money. If they say they are hungry I offer a meal. Usually they decline because they want the money for booze or drugs.

[Anonymous]

^ 20:39. I never give to homeless people. I spent my childhood in Paris, where there are organized bands of gypsies that force their women to beg on street corners holding dirty babies, and force their kids to pick pockets on the metro. I've got too much experience with that to ever enable any of it. I also do not want to encourage panhandlers begging on the medians, it's extremely dangerous for them, as the risk of car collisions is high.

Instead, I vote for politicians who create programs to develop permanent housing for homeless people, and I donate to women's and children's shelters.

[Anonymous]

Story if female jogger: https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/public-safety/woman-stabbed-in-popular-logan-circle-neighborhood-of-dc/2018/09/19/cff93ae8-bbf9-11e8-9812-a389be6690af_story.html

Completely random and unprovoked like OP

[Anonymous]

Be glad hw didn't attack you with a knife. DC is a cesspool. Think of your kid. Move.

[Anonymous]

Thanks everyone! I am still processing and just absorbing the advice.

I haven’t been in DC long - maybe 4 years. I need feel like I’ve got as much street smarts as possible keep my head on a swivel— This one just threw me off guard.