MIL, miscarriages and taking a cheap shot at me

[Anonymous]

I'm a very private person. I kept our 2nd trimester loss before Christmas and subsequent miscarriages very quiet. Well I made the mistake of telling my MIL and SIL.

My MIL decides she needs to tell me that I'm very stressed. Well, duh. I'm an extremely successful entrepreneur. The first time she says it I tell her that's not what caused my miscarriages. She kept at it and I walked away.

This isn't the first time she's made snide remarks about my success and I can't help but feel she's using my confession about miscarriages to take a cheap shot at me.

My SIL thought it was completely inappropriate and intends on talking to her after we leave. I just don't understand how to have a relationship with someone that seems focused on finding ways to take me down a notch.

[Anonymous]

ugh. that was nasty. i can imagine my MIL doing the same.

[Anonymous]

“You’re comments are not helping.” And walk away.

[Anonymous]

Next time you will know how to remain that private person and keep things to yourself.

That being said, I also think she's right to tell you you're stressed and that it won't help your health in any way.

[Anonymous]

I like the reply of 'Your comments are not helping".

It was unkind and hurtful however your MIL has given you a gift. She is not the sort of person you should waste your time and energy on by getting close to or confiding in or expecting any sort of human kindness from. You don't need to be nasty back but you also know she is not someone who is supportive. She took a cheap shot, you don't need to be at her lower level, let her be there by herself.

Move forward with people around you that are caring. In the end she won't matter nor will her cheap shots.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Next time you will know how to remain that private person and keep things to yourself.

That being said, I also think she's right to tell you you're stressed and that it won't help your health in any way.

Wow. You're every bit as disgusting as OP's MIL.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry for your loss, OP. Thankfully your SIL is stepping in. I’d also suggest that your spouse step in as well. MIL’s behavior needs to be shutdown. The more she hears from her own children, the more she knows her behavior will not be tolerated. If you haven’t told your spouse already, do so today.

[Anonymous]

Well, I would have asked her where she got her medical degree. That said, no more information for her. Does she think she is being helpful? Some people are clueless. Sorry for your loss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Next time you will know how to remain that private person and keep things to yourself.

That being said, I also think she's right to tell you you're stressed and that it won't help your health in any way.

It's standard to let immediate family know about a 2nd trimester pregnancy.

Jerk

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I like the reply of 'Your comments are not helping".

It was unkind and hurtful however your MIL has given you a gift. She is not the sort of person you should waste your time and energy on by getting close to or confiding in or expecting any sort of human kindness from. You don't need to be nasty back but you also know she is not someone who is supportive. She took a cheap shot, you don't need to be at her lower level, let her be there by herself.

Move forward with people around you that are caring. In the end she won't matter nor will her cheap shots.

+1

[Anonymous]

“You’re adding to my stress now, and to avoid stress I will be avoiding you.”

[Anonymous]

She sounds toxic and for people like that I use grey rock method (look it up). She isn't on your team. Keep convos superficial to things like the weather. Don't share anything personal. Stay calm and boring with her. She showed her true colors.

[Anonymous]

DH needs to run interference. He needs to manage his mother or she's out.

[Anonymous]

"You have shown that you are not someone I can confide in."

Keep walking away and distance yourself from her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“You’re adding to my stress now, and to avoid stress I will be avoiding you.”

I'm sorry for your loss, OP. I think this is a good response.

Please have your husband step in and tell her she was way out of line.