Would you take young kids to an open casket funeral?
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Anonymous
| Funeral is for a relative they've seen many times, but not especially close to. Kids are early elementary age. |
Anonymous
| Yes. I’ve done that 3 times. No issue. |
Anonymous
| Yes, but wouldn't have them go up to the casket to see the person. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
| We did for grandparents' funerals. We did not make them go up to the casket but they wanted to see. |
Anonymous
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So will it be an open casket funeral, or an open casket visitation and then the casket is closed for the funeral?
I would attend whatever part is closed-casket and skip the open casket, if that is an option. |
Anonymous
| No. I saw my grandmother in an open casket and this is the vision that comes to mind when I think of her. |
Anonymous
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If you make it a normal thing and explain what to expect, it isn’t a big deal. If you build it up or make it secretive and make it clear to them that you’re avoiding the open casket part or intentionally staying far back from it, it will make it a thing of mystery, dread, and/or curiosity (and if they’re curious, they might even feel like that’s a bad thing since they’re “not supposed to see it.”)
I was the youngest of my generation of the family by 12 years so there were a lot of funerals early on. I started going to open casket funerals as a toddler. It was made normal and never a big deal. My parents did always warn me that my relatives would not look the same as what I was used to. We are religious so visiting the casket involves kneeling and saying a little prayer. That part helps even if you don’t pray because it occupies your mind and body and gives you a plan when you approach the casket. So if you don’t pray/kneel, give your child something to do with their heart, mind and body when they are right at the casket. Prayer, wish, a quiet thought for their relative, anything will help them feel less awkward or overwhelmed. It also helps to go up first by yourself if you get emotional or need a long moment with your relative, and then collect yourself and come back up with your kids. I have awkward memories of being stuck at a casket with my mom when she was having a meltdown and feeling lonely and scared because I didn’t know how to comfort her. |
Anonymous
| Yes. It’s important to normalize death and model how to respond. |
Anonymous
This. Please don't make them go up to the body if they don't want to. I was freaked out by my great grandmother lying dead in a casket. Even now, I won't go up to see a body at a viewing. |
Anonymous
I was coming with the same question. I went to my great grandmothers open casket when I was about 8 and it bothered me for years. Just an uncomfortable unsettling feeling. |
Anonymous
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Went to my first when I was 7 years old. My mom made me go up to my grandmother's casket. I asked to go home soon after.
It's good to learn about death and the rituals your family has around that, but don't make the kid go to the casket. |
Anonymous
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Yes. But they don't have to go up to the casket, as others have said. I went to many as a kid, and wasn't scarred. It was just part of life. Death is just part of life, really. Never too early to learn that in a concrete way.
My son went up to my father's casket by choice. He "remembers" the good and fun times he had with my dad from photos, videos, and stories we tell, but what he actually understands is that "Grandpa forgot a lot because his brain had a disease called Alzheimer's and that disease made his brain stop working so he died". |
Anonymous
I would. Give them the option but don't make them view the open casket if they don't want to. I remember my grandmother in the open casket (?age 10) and it was ok. |
Anonymous
| Yes. Death is a part of life. A big part! |