Would you take young kids to an open casket funeral?

[Anonymous]

I took my sons at that age, I explained what they would see and that I would be going up to the casket to say a prayer. If they wanted to join me, great. If not, not a problem. Allow your child to do what is comfortable to them. For others, this is a reason to expose your kids to a wake when it isn’t someone they are close to.

[Anonymous]

No, or if I had to I wouldn't make then go up to the casket. Luckily it is not our family culture to do open casket. I've only been to one at almost 40 and that was a parent of a friend.

[Anonymous]

No good reason for them to view the body.

[Anonymous]

I did it with my 5 year old. I tried to avoid the open casket. As we were walking out to the car, she tugged on my arm to go back and look. She looked for a minute or two. We got in the car and said “it’s ok if the outside of my casket is brown. But the inside needs to be PINK!!”

[Anonymous]

Yes.

[Anonymous]

My grandmother took me with her to a viewing of someone she knew but I didn't, an old man. I was about 8 or 9. I remember it to this day and I'm almost 70. It was disturbing and unnecessary.

I have avoided funerals with open caskets since then. Especially for my loved ones, I don't want my last memory of them to be their dead body.

[Anonymous]

No, my parents took me to a funeral once and I was creeped out as a child.

[Anonymous]

I took a 2 year old to one but did not take her to see the casket. With an older child (5 and up, or a mature 4 year old) I would explain the whole situation (using age appropriate language, so might be more detailed for an older child) and let them decide.

I am an adult and I do not like to view the body at open casket funerals, and have had my parents yell at me for this as an adult. I'm not rude -- I go and pay respects but I don't want to remember the person as they look in the casket so I choose not to view them that way. It has always annoyed me that I have not been given my own choice in how I grieve a loved one, so I don't want to do that to my own kids. Kids actually have great capacity to understand each and grief from a very young age (around 4 or 5) and I would respect their wishes.

[Anonymous]

Personally I'm an adult who hates open casket funerals. Seeing someone you love as just the empty shell is just awful. I had to sit in the hospital waiting for them to take a loved one away and the transition from person to "body" is one of the hardest parts of death. I'd definitely not make a kid go up and do a viewing if they didn't want to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. I saw my grandmother in an open casket and this is the vision that comes to mind when I think of her.

Agree. Open caskets are barbaric.

[Anonymous]

My brother made that mistake with his 3 year old at his FIL's funeral and she tried to wake up her grandpa. He said there was a lot of family pressure and he really really regrets it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. I saw my grandmother in an open casket and this is the vision that comes to mind when I think of her.

Agree. Open caskets are barbaric.

It wasn't an open casket but after my grandma's stroke my Dad actually took me aside and told me he didn't think I should go to the hospital to say goodbye because she wasn't going to look like Grandma (they were taking her off the breathing machines, there was no chance she was going to wake up). I was actually 12 at the time and I'm glad Dad did that. He was right, my last memory of my grandma is just hanging out with her in the kitchen listening to music and it's not her hooked up to machines.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. I saw my grandmother in an open casket and this is the vision that comes to mind when I think of her.

Agree. Open caskets are barbaric.

Give me a break. It's a way to process and accept that the person has passed. The finality of it. My 5 year old patted her great grandmother's cheek in the open casket, noted it was cold, and we had a conversation about what death meant. This is part of the cycle of life, of which we are all a part. Hiding it or fearing it is like denying the sun will go down because you want to keep playing. Denying or avoiding painful feelings doesn't make them go away. This is also a very important lesson for children to be exposed to, even at a young age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My brother made that mistake with his 3 year old at his FIL's funeral and she tried to wake up her grandpa. He said there was a lot of family pressure and he really really regrets it.

Heartbreaking. Poor kiddo. That made my stomach drop.

[Anonymous]

Yes, my kids have all been. I don't take them up to the casket, but involving them in the rituals of death is important. It is a part of life. And funerals, like weddings, in my irish catholic culture FWIW, are large gatherings of family where people bond, in sadness instead of joy but still. they are part of the fabric of our relationships.