Reply to Would you take young kids to an open casket funeral?

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[quote=Anonymous]If you make it a normal thing and explain what to expect, it isn’t a big deal. If you build it up or make it secretive and make it clear to them that you’re avoiding the open casket part or intentionally staying far back from it, it will make it a thing of mystery, dread, and/or curiosity (and if they’re curious, they might even feel like that’s a bad thing since they’re “not supposed to see it.”)

I was the youngest of my generation of the family by 12 years so there were a lot of funerals early on. I started going to open casket funerals as a toddler. It was made normal and never a big deal. My parents did always warn me that my relatives would not look the same as what I was used to. We are religious so visiting the casket involves kneeling and saying a little prayer. That part helps even if you don’t pray because it occupies your mind and body and gives you a plan when you approach the casket. So if you don’t pray/kneel, give your child something to do with their heart, mind and body when they are right at the casket. Prayer, wish, a quiet thought for their relative, anything will help them feel less awkward or overwhelmed.

It also helps to go up first by yourself if you get emotional or need a long moment with your relative, and then collect yourself and come back up with your kids. I have awkward memories of being stuck at a casket with my mom when she was having a meltdown and feeling lonely and scared because I didn’t know how to comfort her.[/quote]

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