Just not sure about having another baby

[Anonymous]

I’m a mom to a 5yo and an almost 8yo. I divorced when my youngest was a baby and am now remarried. My husband does not have bio kids, is a wonderful stepdad and husband, and has always wanted to be a dad. I wanted to have another baby with him. We did get pregnant, but I miscarried in the second trimester. It was very sad but it made us closer.

Now the expectation is that we will try again but I’m just not as gung ho as I was. I’m 36 now (had my kids at 28 and 31) and I could feel a difference in how rough this pregnancy was on me as compared to my previous two (which were not easy at all). I was really depressed at the notion of going back to work with a 12-week-old and the general chaos and exhaustion of the first few years. The other day my DH and I took the kids to the pool and were sunbathing and relaxing while the kids played and swam, and I thought about how that wouldn’t be possible for years with a new baby. Now with the Roe v Wade decision I feel a whole new layer of anxiety - will D&E’s be outlawed?

I guess I just wanted to ramble about my thoughts. My desire to have a baby has been seriously tempered and all of the crazy news in the world is not helping.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think you should think about Roe vs Wade’s implications in DC. You will be able to have an abortion if you want to. Was having a biological baby something you discussed before getting married? For some people having kids is very important and a non negotiable. How does your husband feel about not having any biological kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think you should think about Roe vs Wade’s implications in DC. You will be able to have an abortion if you want to. Was having a biological baby something you discussed before getting married? For some people having kids is very important and a non negotiable. How does your husband feel about not having any biological kids?

Might I suggest you actually read OP's post? She SAID he "has always wanted to be a dad."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think you should think about Roe vs Wade’s implications in DC. You will be able to have an abortion if you want to. Was having a biological baby something you discussed before getting married? For some people having kids is very important and a non negotiable. How does your husband feel about not having any biological kids?

Might I suggest you actually read OP's post? She SAID he "has always wanted to be a dad."

I read it. But I don’t know where “having kids” is in his priorities

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think you should think about Roe vs Wade’s implications in DC. You will be able to have an abortion if you want to. Was having a biological baby something you discussed before getting married? For some people having kids is very important and a non negotiable. How does your husband feel about not having any biological kids?

Might I suggest you actually read OP's post? She SAID he "has always wanted to be a dad."

I read it. But I don’t know where “having kids” is in his priorities

Gee, let's see. He "always wanted to be a dad," and they've already tried once But nah, he doesn't care that much. Low priority I'm sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think you should think about Roe vs Wade’s implications in DC. You will be able to have an abortion if you want to. Was having a biological baby something you discussed before getting married? For some people having kids is very important and a non negotiable. How does your husband feel about not having any biological kids?

Might I suggest you actually read OP's post? She SAID he "has always wanted to be a dad."

Did OP say anything about her husbands take on having bio kids in particular?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think you should think about Roe vs Wade’s implications in DC. You will be able to have an abortion if you want to. Was having a biological baby something you discussed before getting married? For some people having kids is very important and a non negotiable. How does your husband feel about not having any biological kids?

Might I suggest you actually read OP's post? She SAID he "has always wanted to be a dad."

Did OP say anything about her husbands take on having bio kids in particular?

Why is everyone being so deliberately obtuse?

OP could not have made more clear that she is torn about having another baby primarily because she knows her husband wants one. That's THE issue, not the peripheral one. It's the whole point of her post!

[Anonymous]

OP here. Yes, having a bio kid is important to DH. He’s 40, I’m 36.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think you should think about Roe vs Wade’s implications in DC. You will be able to have an abortion if you want to. Was having a biological baby something you discussed before getting married? For some people having kids is very important and a non negotiable. How does your husband feel about not having any biological kids?

Might I suggest you actually read OP's post? She SAID he "has always wanted to be a dad."

Did OP say anything about her husbands take on having bio kids in particular?

Why is everyone being so deliberately obtuse?

OP could not have made more clear that she is torn about having another baby primarily because she knows her husband wants one. That's THE issue, not the peripheral one. It's the whole point of her post!

Why don’t you let OP reply or give your opinion instead of policing everyone else’s posts?

OP, I would have another baby… you can definitely go to the beach with a baby or toddler. My son has been going to the beach/pool since he was born with his 2 older sisters… the pregnancy will be difficult I am sure, but it’s only 9 months. If it’s important for your DH and you are not opposed to the idea, I would go ahead and do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Yes, having a bio kid is important to DH. He’s 40, I’m 36.

I had my third at 34, but many women in DC don’t have their first until after 35… you are not too old in my opinion (and not if your DH)

[Anonymous]

Op, this sounds really hard. Do you think you might just need a little more time to recover from the loss?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think you should think about Roe vs Wade’s implications in DC. You will be able to have an abortion if you want to. Was having a biological baby something you discussed before getting married? For some people having kids is very important and a non negotiable. How does your husband feel about not having any biological kids?

Might I suggest you actually read OP's post? She SAID he "has always wanted to be a dad."

Did OP say anything about her husbands take on having bio kids in particular?

Are you slow?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think you should think about Roe vs Wade’s implications in DC. You will be able to have an abortion if you want to. Was having a biological baby something you discussed before getting married? For some people having kids is very important and a non negotiable. How does your husband feel about not having any biological kids?

Many people do not live on DC 94 are required for work to travel outside the district.

[Anonymous]

If this was something you knew was important to him when you married him then you better have a heck of a reason to change your mind, one stronger than “I want to lay out at the pool.”

[Anonymous]

Tell him that you will stay at home with the baby for a couple of years while he works.