MIL vs. Me - Is it wrong to tell an 11yo and 7yo how much luxury items they desire cost?

[Anonymous]

I grew up not understanding how much things cost. I had issues with money ever since and as an adult have finally mastered the art of living within my means and budgeting.

My 11yo child asked for the pink Nike Dunk sneakers that were released the other week. I explained to her the cost. We entered the raffle, she didn’t get a spot to claim them. It was like $135/$145 something around there. She does have other Nike’s she selected in the end. But only one pair and she’s of course already slightly creased them and melted down with herself over them. These shoes are as they were when I was a teen, pretty popular.

My 7yo wants a PS5, I’ve explained the cost to him as well. $700-$1000+ depending.

Is it wrong to explain to kids the magnitude of how much things cost and how to splurge, save, budget when they want expensive items.

[Anonymous]

Of course. I can’t imagine any other way.

[Anonymous]

Not at all. My kids have no concept of money. They see us spend $100-$150 on groceries each week and think that a $100 Lego set should be no big deal. They broke the TV - an accident, but preventable if they had been following our rules. We took them to the store to look at TVs and they saw how much they cost. We could afford a new TV if we wanted one, but it seemed like a bad lesson for them. We offered then a new TV in lieu of Christmas presents or they can wait until we feel like buying a new one. They chose to wait.

[Anonymous]

From your example, I would explain that your limit on sneakers is X amount, say $75. She would then have to earn the remaining amount from chores, babysitting or saving her allowance or gifts. Teach want vs need. You can also have limits on birthday gifts. $1000 would be way out of budget for a birthday gift.

[Anonymous]

What does this have to do with your MIL?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What does this have to do with your MIL?

Op here. My MIL is against telling kids the prices of items. She thinks that only adults should know how much something costs. She’s now brought this up in front of the children that they shouldn’t know how much things cost.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From your example, I would explain that your limit on sneakers is X amount, say $75. She would then have to earn the remaining amount from chores, babysitting or saving her allowance or gifts. Teach want vs need. You can also have limits on birthday gifts. $1000 would be way out of budget for a birthday gift.

This is a good strategy. I'm fine with telling kids the cost, but you have to be it in context, like how many month allowance or whatever.

[Anonymous]

It's imperative that middle and upper class families teach their children what things cost. Lower-income children already know this. It's essential to having good practical life skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does this have to do with your MIL?

Op here. My MIL is against telling kids the prices of items. She thinks that only adults should know how much something costs. She’s now brought this up in front of the children that they shouldn’t know how much things cost.

NP here. You should have said that in your OP. What you posted was 2 stories about 1 kid who wanted sneakers and the other kid who wanted a video gaming system. Now your stories make sense.

[Anonymous]

Just don’t talk about it in front of your MIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does this have to do with your MIL?

Op here. My MIL is against telling kids the prices of items. She thinks that only adults should know how much something costs. She’s now brought this up in front of the children that they shouldn’t know how much things cost.

Is your spouse good at managing money? I tell my kids how much things cost FWIW.

[Anonymous]

I absolutely NEED for my child from a financially comfortable household to understand that he doesn't just get everything he wants, and some times we choose to go without costly things.

At the age of 8 or 9, he's gone through an exercise of having a fixed dollar amount in a toy store, and picking something that doesn't cost more than he has. If that toy he wants costs $25 and he only has $10, he needs to pick something else.

These are lessons kids need to learn before they are ready to be independent adults in the world -- both to be able to live within their means, and to have empathy for those who need to live on tighter budgets.

[Anonymous]

if there is one thing that the rich and poor have in common... they tell their children how much things cost.

[Anonymous]

This is not any of your mother-in-law's business, first of all.

Second, your kids absolutely should know how much things cost, and if it's over your allocated budget, they should be contributing to the cost.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does this have to do with your MIL?

Op here. My MIL is against telling kids the prices of items. She thinks that only adults should know how much something costs. She’s now brought this up in front of the children that they shouldn’t know how much things cost.

Etiquette says that kids (and other people) shouldn't ask other people the cost of things they own. So it would be rude for your child to ask Grandma how much she spent for her new shoes. (If she's curious she can just google it like the rest of us!) But it's very important for kids to know the cost of things they want, and gradually they can learn more specifics about things they might want in the future (e.g. an expensive house) and what it would take for them to be able to own that.