Perfume is Unfashionable and Inconsiderate

[Anonymous]

The same people who are "allergic" to perfume are also lactose intolerant, gluten free, have fibromyalgia, and about a million other vague medical diagnosis. They all fall under the umbrella of attention seeking hypochondriacs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am super curious about how many women posting on here actually work in an office in close proximity to other people. I'm guessing not very many.

When I worked in cubicles, I was physically very close to some colleagues and things like strong scented hand lotion and perfume that lasted all day definitely bothered me and I find it very insensitive to use that stuff. There are signs in the kitchen about not heating up fish because of the odor, and I view strong perfumes/lotions in that same category and wish there was signs about that, too. Over the course of my career, I've had to ask a handful of colleagues if they wouldn't mind changing their lotion or if they could tone down the perfume because it was giving me a headache. They've all been very kind about it.

I would never complain about someone walking by wearing a strong scent because that goes away, but sitting right next to someone with a very strong smell gives me a massive headache, which in turn makes me unproductive at work. If you want me to do my job well, then you need to let me do it in an environment where I'm not feeling ill or being distracted.

Thankfully I'm senior now and have my own office, so it's no longer an issue.

This is a reason cubicles need to die because anything could be someone’s sensitivity or allergy. I have a smell trigger for my PTSD. It doesn’t take more than a whiff to set off a flashback. I do not expect to control anyone’s behaviors other than my own. I have specifically avoided certain workplaces as a result because I’m not an entitled ahole.

I think the people wearing stinky perfume or lotions in an open environment are the entitled asholes, PP, not the ones complaining about it.

Stinky is relative. Even “unscented” lotions and deodorants have smells. People’s bodies also have smells from sebum for example, even if clean. Paper and ink have smells. No workplace is ever going to be scent free. Even clean labs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not supposed to be apparent to people when you walk into a room, only if someone whispers in your ear.

YES!

That is exactly the rule I learned as a young girl. A dab on the pulse points, wrist and neck or behind the ears. Just enough that you can smell it, and someone who gets very close.


Reeking from across the room is just gauche.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The same people who are "allergic" to perfume are also lactose intolerant, gluten free, have fibromyalgia, and about a million other vague medical diagnosis. They all fall under the umbrella of attention seeking hypochondriacs.

There are medical tests for lactose intolerance and gluten intolerance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The same people who are "allergic" to perfume are also lactose intolerant, gluten free, have fibromyalgia, and about a million other vague medical diagnosis. They all fall under the umbrella of attention seeking hypochondriacs.

They'll probably wind up with "long Covid" too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh this makes me sad. I love perfume. I love smelling other peoples’ fragrances. It makes me happy! I def don’t use very much but I really can’t imagine a world where I wouldn’t wear some every day, and no one else would either. I’m sorry your sensitive, OP, but I do think this is one that’s on you. Avoid us if you must but I really love scents!

There are some workplaces that have policies against it.

NP. Not mine!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These threads are so weird to me because I am definitely "scent sensitive" in that I notice smells very easily and more than others do. But I have no allergies or medical issue that make the smells affect me. I just notice them, even subtle smells, good and bad.

But I don't view that as a reason to demand other people stop wearing perfume. That's bizarre to me. I get if you have an allergy or similar and therefore can't work near someone wearing strong perfume. In that case, ask for an accommodation -- makes perfect sense (scents, ha!).

But to demand that all the old ladies at the Kennedy Center stop wearing their perfumes? To get angry about smelling someone else's perfume in a waiting room or standing on line at the post office? This just seems so controlling to me. Sometimes other people's perfume bothers me, but it's a temporary annoyance, something I notice and then forget about. I don't go home fuming about some woman on the bus and her heavy perfume.

These complaints are like eavesdropping on people and then complaining that their conversation is dull. Just move along. It doesn't concern you.

Here, this is the right answer.

I generally don’t complain but your answer is too facile. I had some guy with cologne sit next to me on the metro and I triggered an ocular migraine. Walking from the metro station to my office, my eight decreased so I only had about 5% of my field of vision by the time I reached the office. I was about to call 911–it was really scary.
And on airplanes it’s often not possible to be reseated. The flight attendants are not super helpful on this stuff. It’s almost never an issue on business flights—it’s only flying to vacation destinations.

Did you walk to the other end of the car, and change cars at the next stop?

+1 On what planet do you not move if seated next to someone on the Metro doing something that bothers you?

+2. PLEASE be the Karen who calls 911 because some dude wore cologne on public transit. Be sure to talk in great detail about your "5% vision" (are you sure it wasn't 8%?) and other details so that it can get picked up by local news and go viral.

OMG. I wasn’t going to call 911 on the person because they were wearing perfume. I was going to call 911 because I suddenly couldn’t see and thought I was having a stroke! I’ve had headaches before and throat closing but never had an ocular migraine before then and didn’t know what it was. It started as like crinkles around my peripheral vision and then the vision just started closing in until I could only see a very small amount and had to sort of angle my vision so I could see the sidewalk to walk. I managed to get to my offfice and just lie on the floor for a while. I didn’t change seats because the train was crowded and I thought I could tough it out for a 10 minute metro ride. The headache started while I was sitting next to him but the vision didn’t start to close off until I was about to get off the train. Never having it happen before, I initially was thinking “gee, I wonder if I’m getting old and need glasses or something...”. Then it just got worse very quickly over about a 5 minute period.
Honestly, I never really bring this up because I don’t want to make a big deal about my medical condition. But I will say that it’s basically never an issue with professional women and men that I work with. Professionals just do not wear a lot of perfume. Also, for whatever reason, I’ve never had an issue with anyone’s shampoo or conditioner or soap—maybe because it mostly is washed off. Only perfume or perfumed lotions.

[Anonymous]

I am a huge migraine sufferer and it is resistant to medication, so I get why some of the migraine sufferers are getting upset on this thread. Migraines are the worst.

However.

Among the things that trigger my migraines: weather, alcohol, stress, lack of sleep, and screens. Yes, strong smells can trigger them as well, or can make them much worse, if I'm subjected to the smell for a long period of time and it is overpowering. Like I have gotten migraines due to the cleaner used in my office, or from construction activity in my apartment building. I can imagine getting a migraine from sustained exposure to someone wearing a lot of perfume. If I worked with someone like this, I would simply report it to my boss or HR with the note from my doctor about my migraines, like I did regarding the use of cleaning solution in my office, and I feel confident it would be dealt with quickly, by either moving me away from the perfume wearer or requesting that they stop wearing it or something. Work tends to get very accommodating when you are willing to fill out paperwork and have a doctor's note, I've found.

But no one gets a migraine from someone wearing a dab of perfume on their wrists and neck. No one. I do this daily. It is how most people wear perfume and it is incredibly subtle. Even if it's cheap perfume, even if it stinks. No one is getting a migraine from the way I wear perfume. If it's not giving me a migraine, it's definitely not giving you a migraine. I regularly smell shampoo that is stronger than most people's perfume, because some people's hair really hold onto smells. Again. No one is getting a migraine from this unless it's very strong and you have no choice but to be around it for an extended period.

[Anonymous]

In a world full of smells sorry, wearing perfume is just another. It’s inconceivable to me that you expect the entire population not bothered by it to stop wearing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a huge migraine sufferer and it is resistant to medication, so I get why some of the migraine sufferers are getting upset on this thread. Migraines are the worst.

However.

Among the things that trigger my migraines: weather, alcohol, stress, lack of sleep, and screens. Yes, strong smells can trigger them as well, or can make them much worse, if I'm subjected to the smell for a long period of time and it is overpowering. Like I have gotten migraines due to the cleaner used in my office, or from construction activity in my apartment building. I can imagine getting a migraine from sustained exposure to someone wearing a lot of perfume. If I worked with someone like this, I would simply report it to my boss or HR with the note from my doctor about my migraines, like I did regarding the use of cleaning solution in my office, and I feel confident it would be dealt with quickly, by either moving me away from the perfume wearer or requesting that they stop wearing it or something. Work tends to get very accommodating when you are willing to fill out paperwork and have a doctor's note, I've found.

But no one gets a migraine from someone wearing a dab of perfume on their wrists and neck. No one. I do this daily. It is how most people wear perfume and it is incredibly subtle. Even if it's cheap perfume, even if it stinks. No one is getting a migraine from the way I wear perfume. If it's not giving me a migraine, it's definitely not giving you a migraine. I regularly smell shampoo that is stronger than most people's perfume, because some people's hair really hold onto smells. Again. No one is getting a migraine from this unless it's very strong and you have no choice but to be around it for an extended period.

The complaining "sufferers" here really lose their argument when they conflate the above with "dousing yourself." Many people who wear perfume are also not fond of those outliers that "douse themselves" in like 20 sprays of scent, but those people are outliers. If you posted about the latter there would probably be next to no pushback, but by making it seem like everyone does that and it is triggering migraines and massive asthma attacks it's pretty hard to take seriously.

I also get migraines and I'd have to be stuck in a 8x8x8 room for like 3 hours with someone wearing half a bottle of Drakkar Noir for this to be an issue. I can and do wear a normal amount of perfume daily.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a huge migraine sufferer and it is resistant to medication, so I get why some of the migraine sufferers are getting upset on this thread. Migraines are the worst.

However.

Among the things that trigger my migraines: weather, alcohol, stress, lack of sleep, and screens. Yes, strong smells can trigger them as well, or can make them much worse, if I'm subjected to the smell for a long period of time and it is overpowering. Like I have gotten migraines due to the cleaner used in my office, or from construction activity in my apartment building. I can imagine getting a migraine from sustained exposure to someone wearing a lot of perfume. If I worked with someone like this, I would simply report it to my boss or HR with the note from my doctor about my migraines, like I did regarding the use of cleaning solution in my office, and I feel confident it would be dealt with quickly, by either moving me away from the perfume wearer or requesting that they stop wearing it or something. Work tends to get very accommodating when you are willing to fill out paperwork and have a doctor's note, I've found.

But no one gets a migraine from someone wearing a dab of perfume on their wrists and neck. No one. I do this daily. It is how most people wear perfume and it is incredibly subtle. Even if it's cheap perfume, even if it stinks. No one is getting a migraine from the way I wear perfume. If it's not giving me a migraine, it's definitely not giving you a migraine. I regularly smell shampoo that is stronger than most people's perfume, because some people's hair really hold onto smells. Again. No one is getting a migraine from this unless it's very strong and you have no choice but to be around it for an extended period.

+1 to your whole post, but to the bolded, I swear that the chemicals used to make functional perfumes (shampoos, cleaners, hand soaps, etc., anything that has a purpose beyond simply providing scent) seem to be about a hundred times stronger and more long-lasting than they were ten or twenty years ago. I used to enjoy a lightly scented shampoo, but some of the ones today just radiate and radiate and radiate scent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cheap perfume is unfashionable and inconsiderate. I was honestly shocked to read in the other perfume thread how many women wear drugstore junk. And people who wear cheap perfume generally don't understand how to wear it. It's not supposed to be apparent to people when you walk into a room, only if someone whispers in your ear.

Get a grip. You’re advertising snobbery and ignorance with a pronouncement like that. Actually, most of your post is ignorant and snobby - the worst oversprayers are people who have become anosmic to their favorite perfume and that’s not really affected by price point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These threads are so weird to me because I am definitely "scent sensitive" in that I notice smells very easily and more than others do. But I have no allergies or medical issue that make the smells affect me. I just notice them, even subtle smells, good and bad.

But I don't view that as a reason to demand other people stop wearing perfume. That's bizarre to me. I get if you have an allergy or similar and therefore can't work near someone wearing strong perfume. In that case, ask for an accommodation -- makes perfect sense (scents, ha!).

But to demand that all the old ladies at the Kennedy Center stop wearing their perfumes? To get angry about smelling someone else's perfume in a waiting room or standing on line at the post office? This just seems so controlling to me. Sometimes other people's perfume bothers me, but it's a temporary annoyance, something I notice and then forget about. I don't go home fuming about some woman on the bus and her heavy perfume.

These complaints are like eavesdropping on people and then complaining that their conversation is dull. Just move along. It doesn't concern you.

Here, this is the right answer.

I generally don’t complain but your answer is too facile. I had some guy with cologne sit next to me on the metro and I triggered an ocular migraine. Walking from the metro station to my office, my eight decreased so I only had about 5% of my field of vision by the time I reached the office. I was about to call 911–it was really scary.
And on airplanes it’s often not possible to be reseated. The flight attendants are not super helpful on this stuff. It’s almost never an issue on business flights—it’s only flying to vacation destinations.

Did you walk to the other end of the car, and change cars at the next stop?

+1 On what planet do you not move if seated next to someone on the Metro doing something that bothers you?

+2. PLEASE be the Karen who calls 911 because some dude wore cologne on public transit. Be sure to talk in great detail about your "5% vision" (are you sure it wasn't 8%?) and other details so that it can get picked up by local news and go viral.

OMG. I wasn’t going to call 911 on the person because they were wearing perfume. I was going to call 911 because I suddenly couldn’t see and thought I was having a stroke! I’ve had headaches before and throat closing but never had an ocular migraine before then and didn’t know what it was. It started as like crinkles around my peripheral vision and then the vision just started closing in until I could only see a very small amount and had to sort of angle my vision so I could see the sidewalk to walk. I managed to get to my offfice and just lie on the floor for a while. I didn’t change seats because the train was crowded and I thought I could tough it out for a 10 minute metro ride. The headache started while I was sitting next to him but the vision didn’t start to close off until I was about to get off the train. Never having it happen before, I initially was thinking “gee, I wonder if I’m getting old and need glasses or something...”. Then it just got worse very quickly over about a 5 minute period.
Honestly, I never really bring this up because I don’t want to make a big deal about my medical condition. But I will say that it’s basically never an issue with professional women and men that I work with. Professionals just do not wear a lot of perfume. Also, for whatever reason, I’ve never had an issue with anyone’s shampoo or conditioner or soap—maybe because it mostly is washed off. Only perfume or perfumed lotions.

Nope, sorry. You lost me at you didn't so much as walk to the end of the car, and change cars at the next station. Nope, sorry. That's on YOU, not him. That's like leaving your hand on a hot stove and then blaming someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These threads are so weird to me because I am definitely "scent sensitive" in that I notice smells very easily and more than others do. But I have no allergies or medical issue that make the smells affect me. I just notice them, even subtle smells, good and bad.

But I don't view that as a reason to demand other people stop wearing perfume. That's bizarre to me. I get if you have an allergy or similar and therefore can't work near someone wearing strong perfume. In that case, ask for an accommodation -- makes perfect sense (scents, ha!).

But to demand that all the old ladies at the Kennedy Center stop wearing their perfumes? To get angry about smelling someone else's perfume in a waiting room or standing on line at the post office? This just seems so controlling to me. Sometimes other people's perfume bothers me, but it's a temporary annoyance, something I notice and then forget about. I don't go home fuming about some woman on the bus and her heavy perfume.

These complaints are like eavesdropping on people and then complaining that their conversation is dull. Just move along. It doesn't concern you.

Here, this is the right answer.

I generally don’t complain but your answer is too facile. I had some guy with cologne sit next to me on the metro and I triggered an ocular migraine. Walking from the metro station to my office, my eight decreased so I only had about 5% of my field of vision by the time I reached the office. I was about to call 911–it was really scary.
And on airplanes it’s often not possible to be reseated. The flight attendants are not super helpful on this stuff. It’s almost never an issue on business flights—it’s only flying to vacation destinations.

Did you walk to the other end of the car, and change cars at the next stop?

+1 On what planet do you not move if seated next to someone on the Metro doing something that bothers you?

+2. PLEASE be the Karen who calls 911 because some dude wore cologne on public transit. Be sure to talk in great detail about your "5% vision" (are you sure it wasn't 8%?) and other details so that it can get picked up by local news and go viral.

OMG. I wasn’t going to call 911 on the person because they were wearing perfume. I was going to call 911 because I suddenly couldn’t see and thought I was having a stroke! I’ve had headaches before and throat closing but never had an ocular migraine before then and didn’t know what it was. It started as like crinkles around my peripheral vision and then the vision just started closing in until I could only see a very small amount and had to sort of angle my vision so I could see the sidewalk to walk. I managed to get to my offfice and just lie on the floor for a while. I didn’t change seats because the train was crowded and I thought I could tough it out for a 10 minute metro ride. The headache started while I was sitting next to him but the vision didn’t start to close off until I was about to get off the train. Never having it happen before, I initially was thinking “gee, I wonder if I’m getting old and need glasses or something...”. Then it just got worse very quickly over about a 5 minute period.
Honestly, I never really bring this up because I don’t want to make a big deal about my medical condition. But I will say that it’s basically never an issue with professional women and men that I work with. Professionals just do not wear a lot of perfume. Also, for whatever reason, I’ve never had an issue with anyone’s shampoo or conditioner or soap—maybe because it mostly is washed off. Only perfume or perfumed lotions.

Nope, sorry. You lost me at you didn't so much as walk to the end of the car, and change cars at the next station. Nope, sorry. That's on YOU, not him. That's like leaving your hand on a hot stove and then blaming someone else.

+1

Personal responsibility has gone the way of the dodo. Ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

I love perfume and I’m probably younger than most people commenting on this thread. If you can smell it, you’re probably too close to me, need to put on a better mask, and need to back up.