Amy Coney Barrett- what in the actual F?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the PP lawyer who keeps saying you don’t know the child is yours until the adoption is final-

Don’t they also stress that the kids aren’t dogs and you don’t get to try them out and return them if it doesn’t work? The kid in this case was already stateside. Things could go awry but the parents should be committed at that point. You don’t get to return or rehome your intended children-weird it even seemed like an option to her.

It isn’t that you don’t know the child is yours; it is that you are explicitly told that legally that child is not your child until a court blesses it and you need to understand that until finalizing the child can be taken from your family for any reason at all and there isn’t anything you can do about it.

Again, life is not easy and neat. Everybody on both sides of the political aisle agrees that an unexpected pregnancy can be and often is paradigm shattering event for a woman. I don’t understand the critique that she had a human reaction in that particular moment and she was honest and candid about it. Would you rather she hide the truth or pretend it didn’t happen? And of course, the situation was compounded by the fact that she was already in the middle of a stressful event (taking custody of a child she was trying to adopt). I don’t doubt that some people would have a perfect emotional response in such a moment, but having been through the process myself and knowing others in the community that have been through the process, I would venture that many (perhaps most) would have reacted as she did.

The court does not "bless" you. The court finalizes the adoption.

Yes, I would rather that she had the presence of mind to understand that second guessing her near-final adoption bc she was having another child is not a talking point. She may as well have said that she found out she was having twins and deliberated for three hours whether to abort one.

Okay. Well, if you listen to the interview the story is a lot more complicated than portrayed here. Listening to her in her own words, prior to the Haiti earthquake she and her husband had been led to believe the adoption wasn’t happening. Post-earthquake they were told some state department red-tape would be lifted but it wasn’t entirely clear they would be able to adopt. During this time the child was in Florida but there was still some confusion as to whether they would be able to clear the process. Then they got the go ahead that they would clear diplomatic red tape and they had to decide whether they were going to adopt or not (the reference of going to Florida to kick him up) while simultaneously finding out they had an unexpected pregnancy.

That is...quite the spin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the PP lawyer who keeps saying you don’t know the child is yours until the adoption is final-

Don’t they also stress that the kids aren’t dogs and you don’t get to try them out and return them if it doesn’t work? The kid in this case was already stateside. Things could go awry but the parents should be committed at that point. You don’t get to return or rehome your intended children-weird it even seemed like an option to her.

It isn’t that you don’t know the child is yours; it is that you are explicitly told that legally that child is not your child until a court blesses it and you need to understand that until finalizing the child can be taken from your family for any reason at all and there isn’t anything you can do about it.

Again, life is not easy and neat. Everybody on both sides of the political aisle agrees that an unexpected pregnancy can be and often is paradigm shattering event for a woman. I don’t understand the critique that she had a human reaction in that particular moment and she was honest and candid about it. Would you rather she hide the truth or pretend it didn’t happen? And of course, the situation was compounded by the fact that she was already in the middle of a stressful event (taking custody of a child she was trying to adopt). I don’t doubt that some people would have a perfect emotional response in such a moment, but having been through the process myself and knowing others in the community that have been through the process, I would venture that many (perhaps most) would have reacted as she did.

The court does not "bless" you. The court finalizes the adoption.

Yes, I would rather that she had the presence of mind to understand that second guessing her near-final adoption bc she was having another child is not a talking point. She may as well have said that she found out she was having twins and deliberated for three hours whether to abort one.

Okay. Well, if you listen to the interview the story is a lot more complicated than portrayed here. Listening to her in her own words, prior to the Haiti earthquake she and her husband had been led to believe the adoption wasn’t happening. Post-earthquake they were told some state department red-tape would be lifted but it wasn’t entirely clear they would be able to adopt. During this time the child was in Florida but there was still some confusion as to whether they would be able to clear the process. Then they got the go ahead that they would clear diplomatic red tape and they had to decide whether they were going to adopt or not (the reference of going to Florida to kick him up) while simultaneously finding out they had an unexpected pregnancy.

Still nice she felt she had the choice during her messy, complicated reality. After women's rights to make their own family decisions start getting dismantled, others likely won't be so fortunate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the PP lawyer who keeps saying you don’t know the child is yours until the adoption is final-

Don’t they also stress that the kids aren’t dogs and you don’t get to try them out and return them if it doesn’t work? The kid in this case was already stateside. Things could go awry but the parents should be committed at that point. You don’t get to return or rehome your intended children-weird it even seemed like an option to her.

It isn’t that you don’t know the child is yours; it is that you are explicitly told that legally that child is not your child until a court blesses it and you need to understand that until finalizing the child can be taken from your family for any reason at all and there isn’t anything you can do about it.

Again, life is not easy and neat. Everybody on both sides of the political aisle agrees that an unexpected pregnancy can be and often is paradigm shattering event for a woman. I don’t understand the critique that she had a human reaction in that particular moment and she was honest and candid about it. Would you rather she hide the truth or pretend it didn’t happen? And of course, the situation was compounded by the fact that she was already in the middle of a stressful event (taking custody of a child she was trying to adopt). I don’t doubt that some people would have a perfect emotional response in such a moment, but having been through the process myself and knowing others in the community that have been through the process, I would venture that many (perhaps most) would have reacted as she did.

Aer. S

The court does not "bless" you. The court finalizes the adoption.

Yes, I would rather that she had the presence of mind to understand that second guessing her near-final adoption bc she was having another child is not a talking point. She may as well have said that she found out she was having twins and deliberated for three hours whether to abort one.

Okay. Well, if you listen to the interview the story is a lot more complicated than portrayed here. Listening to her in her own words, prior to the Haiti earthquake she and her husband had been led to believe the adoption wasn’t happening. Post-earthquake they were told some state department red-tape would be lifted but it wasn’t entirely clear they would be able to adopt. During this time the child was in Florida but there was still some confusion as to whether they would be able to clear the process. Then they got the go ahead that they would clear diplomatic red tape and they had to decide whether they were going to adopt or not (the reference of going to Florida to kick him up) while simultaneously finding out they had an unexpected pregnancy.

she shouldn't have shared the story. You know who's life was more complicated??? Her kids. Adoptive parents like her looooooove to center themselves. It's disgusting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the PP lawyer who keeps saying you don’t know the child is yours until the adoption is final-

Don’t they also stress that the kids aren’t dogs and you don’t get to try them out and return them if it doesn’t work? The kid in this case was already stateside. Things could go awry but the parents should be committed at that point. You don’t get to return or rehome your intended children-weird it even seemed like an option to her.

It isn’t that you don’t know the child is yours; it is that you are explicitly told that legally that child is not your child until a court blesses it and you need to understand that until finalizing the child can be taken from your family for any reason at all and there isn’t anything you can do about it.

Again, life is not easy and neat. Everybody on both sides of the political aisle agrees that an unexpected pregnancy can be and often is paradigm shattering event for a woman. I don’t understand the critique that she had a human reaction in that particular moment and she was honest and candid about it. Would you rather she hide the truth or pretend it didn’t happen? And of course, the situation was compounded by the fact that she was already in the middle of a stressful event (taking custody of a child she was trying to adopt). I don’t doubt that some people would have a perfect emotional response in such a moment, but having been through the process myself and knowing others in the community that have been through the process, I would venture that many (perhaps most) would have reacted as she did.

The court does not "bless" you. The court finalizes the adoption.

Yes, I would rather that she had the presence of mind to understand that second guessing her near-final adoption bc she was having another child is not a talking point. She may as well have said that she found out she was having twins and deliberated for three hours whether to abort one.

Okay. Well, if you listen to the interview the story is a lot more complicated than portrayed here. Listening to her in her own words, prior to the Haiti earthquake she and her husband had been led to believe the adoption wasn’t happening. Post-earthquake they were told some state department red-tape would be lifted but it wasn’t entirely clear they would be able to adopt. During this time the child was in Florida but there was still some confusion as to whether they would be able to clear the process. Then they got the go ahead that they would clear diplomatic red tape and they had to decide whether they were going to adopt or not (the reference of going to Florida to kick him up) while simultaneously finding out they had an unexpected pregnancy.

Still nice she felt she had the choice during her messy, complicated reality. After women's rights to make their own family decisions start getting dismantled, others likely won't be so fortunate.

+1. Yes, and that her kids weren't locked up somewhere away from her...

[Anonymous]

Should adult adoptees voices be centered? Okay, maybe.

But the reality is that some kids are in such awful situations that adoptions do need to happen.

I agree that in international adoptions it is not easy to assure that parental rights have been respected.

At the same time, the US sends kids abroad to be adopted.

But none of this is the point of the thread. ACB is the topic of the thread. And her inappropriate comments about adoption.

Adding blanket negative statements about "all white people should not adopt black kids" is pointless, hurtful, and also off topic.

[Anonymous]

Since Amy has been in this predicament before, I hope she understands how a woman of less privilege might make a different decision than her. I hope she surprises us and upholds Roe v Wade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can all say nasty things but none of you have adopted kids of your own.

Irrelevant.

Not irrelevant. Inaccurate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Should adult adoptees voices be centered? Okay, maybe.

But the reality is that some kids are in such awful situations that adoptions do need to happen.

I agree that in international adoptions it is not easy to assure that parental rights have been respected.

At the same time, the US sends kids abroad to be adopted.

But none of this is the point of the thread. ACB is the topic of the thread. And her inappropriate comments about adoption.

Adding blanket negative statements about "all white people should not adopt black kids" is pointless, hurtful, and also off topic.

The US sends kids abroad to be adopted because Americans are largely too racist to adopt black/brown children. Here, we have a judge with her own racist/immoral world view who nonetheless chose to adopt children of color - and has apparently made very questionable choices for them from day 1.

[Anonymous]

Attacking a person for adopting children into a loving home. Vile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Attacking a person for adopting children into a loving home. Vile.

It was so file to here she considered ditching one of her adopted children. It was beyond vile the racist way she described her children during the hearing, or was equally vile how she used them as props.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the PP lawyer who keeps saying you don’t know the child is yours until the adoption is final-

Don’t they also stress that the kids aren’t dogs and you don’t get to try them out and return them if it doesn’t work? The kid in this case was already stateside. Things could go awry but the parents should be committed at that point. You don’t get to return or rehome your intended children-weird it even seemed like an option to her.

THIS! The child was IN FLORIDA.

I'm an adoptee who is also an adoptive parent. Although I knew objectively that my child was 'not mine' until the adoption was final, he felt like mine from the moment he was born. In no universe would I have contemplated reneging on the adoption. And the families I know who had adoptions fall through were HEARTBROKEN. IF my son's birthmother had changed her mind, I would have been devastated.

It is distasteful that she had these second thoughts and felt comfortable publicly describing them. How many women pregnant with twins consider placing one for adoption or aborting because they only wanted one child?? Few if any, and people would be horrified. If nothing else this just shows an attitude about adoption that treats the bond as less important than a biological tie, and that offends me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the PP lawyer who keeps saying you don’t know the child is yours until the adoption is final-

Don’t they also stress that the kids aren’t dogs and you don’t get to try them out and return them if it doesn’t work? The kid in this case was already stateside. Things could go awry but the parents should be committed at that point. You don’t get to return or rehome your intended children-weird it even seemed like an option to her.

It isn’t that you don’t know the child is yours; it is that you are explicitly told that legally that child is not your child until a court blesses it and you need to understand that until finalizing the child can be taken from your family for any reason at all and there isn’t anything you can do about it.

Again, life is not easy and neat. Everybody on both sides of the political aisle agrees that an unexpected pregnancy can be and often is paradigm shattering event for a woman. I don’t understand the critique that she had a human reaction in that particular moment and she was honest and candid about it. Would you rather she hide the truth or pretend it didn’t happen? And of course, the situation was compounded by the fact that she was already in the middle of a stressful event (taking custody of a child she was trying to adopt). I don’t doubt that some people would have a perfect emotional response in such a moment, but having been through the process myself and knowing others in the community that have been through the process, I would venture that many (perhaps most) would have reacted as she did.

Aer. S

The court does not "bless" you. The court finalizes the adoption.

Yes, I would rather that she had the presence of mind to understand that second guessing her near-final adoption bc she was having another child is not a talking point. She may as well have said that she found out she was having twins and deliberated for three hours whether to abort one.

Okay. Well, if you listen to the interview the story is a lot more complicated than portrayed here. Listening to her in her own words, prior to the Haiti earthquake she and her husband had been led to believe the adoption wasn’t happening. Post-earthquake they were told some state department red-tape would be lifted but it wasn’t entirely clear they would be able to adopt. During this time the child was in Florida but there was still some confusion as to whether they would be able to clear the process. Then they got the go ahead that they would clear diplomatic red tape and they had to decide whether they were going to adopt or not (the reference of going to Florida to kick him up) while simultaneously finding out they had an unexpected pregnancy.

she shouldn't have shared the story. You know who's life was more complicated??? Her kids. Adoptive parents like her looooooove to center themselves. It's disgusting.

Last I checked, it was considered a good thing to be open about adoptions and adoption stories. Honestly, I have like 10 adopted kids in my circle and I know the details of them all. It is much better than when all this was swept under the rug. There is nothing to be ashamed of in adopting or being adopted.

As for the comments, the older child was thought not ever able to walk due to severe malnutrition, so of course her parents are proud she has overcome that and is strong and healthy. And the younger had severe PTSD from the orphanage and earthquake he lived through, so of course they are proud he is outgoing and happy-go-lucky. It is a huge achievement and shows how much he has been loved by his adoptive family. Her other kids haven’t been through any ordeals so their descriptions are more run of the mill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the PP lawyer who keeps saying you don’t know the child is yours until the adoption is final-

Don’t they also stress that the kids aren’t dogs and you don’t get to try them out and return them if it doesn’t work? The kid in this case was already stateside. Things could go awry but the parents should be committed at that point. You don’t get to return or rehome your intended children-weird it even seemed like an option to her.

It isn’t that you don’t know the child is yours; it is that you are explicitly told that legally that child is not your child until a court blesses it and you need to understand that until finalizing the child can be taken from your family for any reason at all and there isn’t anything you can do about it.

Again, life is not easy and neat. Everybody on both sides of the political aisle agrees that an unexpected pregnancy can be and often is paradigm shattering event for a woman. I don’t understand the critique that she had a human reaction in that particular moment and she was honest and candid about it. Would you rather she hide the truth or pretend it didn’t happen? And of course, the situation was compounded by the fact that she was already in the middle of a stressful event (taking custody of a child she was trying to adopt). I don’t doubt that some people would have a perfect emotional response in such a moment, but having been through the process myself and knowing others in the community that have been through the process, I would venture that many (perhaps most) would have reacted as she did.

Aer. S

The court does not "bless" you. The court finalizes the adoption.

Yes, I would rather that she had the presence of mind to understand that second guessing her near-final adoption bc she was having another child is not a talking point. She may as well have said that she found out she was having twins and deliberated for three hours whether to abort one.

Okay. Well, if you listen to the interview the story is a lot more complicated than portrayed here. Listening to her in her own words, prior to the Haiti earthquake she and her husband had been led to believe the adoption wasn’t happening. Post-earthquake they were told some state department red-tape would be lifted but it wasn’t entirely clear they would be able to adopt. During this time the child was in Florida but there was still some confusion as to whether they would be able to clear the process. Then they got the go ahead that they would clear diplomatic red tape and they had to decide whether they were going to adopt or not (the reference of going to Florida to kick him up) while simultaneously finding out they had an unexpected pregnancy.

she shouldn't have shared the story. You know who's life was more complicated??? Her kids. Adoptive parents like her looooooove to center themselves. It's disgusting.

Last I checked, it was considered a good thing to be open about adoptions and adoption stories. Honestly, I have like 10 adopted kids in my circle and I know the details of them all. It is much better than when all this was swept under the rug. There is nothing to be ashamed of in adopting or being adopted.

As for the comments, the older child was thought not ever able to walk due to severe malnutrition, so of course her parents are proud she has overcome that and is strong and healthy. And the younger had severe PTSD from the orphanage and earthquake he lived through, so of course they are proud he is outgoing and happy-go-lucky. It is a huge achievement and shows how much he has been loved by his adoptive family. Her other kids haven’t been through any ordeals so their descriptions are more run of the mill.

OMG!!! SHE IS SUCH A SAVIOR!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the PP lawyer who keeps saying you don’t know the child is yours until the adoption is final-

Don’t they also stress that the kids aren’t dogs and you don’t get to try them out and return them if it doesn’t work? The kid in this case was already stateside. Things could go awry but the parents should be committed at that point. You don’t get to return or rehome your intended children-weird it even seemed like an option to her.

THIS! The child was IN FLORIDA.

I'm an adoptee who is also an adoptive parent. Although I knew objectively that my child was 'not mine' until the adoption was final, he felt like mine from the moment he was born. In no universe would I have contemplated reneging on the adoption. And the families I know who had adoptions fall through were HEARTBROKEN. IF my son's birthmother had changed her mind, I would have been devastated.

It is distasteful that she had these second thoughts and felt comfortable publicly describing them. How many women pregnant with twins consider placing one for adoption or aborting because they only wanted one child?? Few if any, and people would be horrified. If nothing else this just shows an attitude about adoption that treats the bond as less important than a biological tie, and that offends me.

Sure, but the issue is a lot more complicated than was originally presented here. According to ACB, her family was told it wasn’t happening in December due to state department issues. Then the Earthquake hit Haiti in January and they were contacted and told that some state department requirements were going to be lifted. They get more calls indicating it might be a go and then they need to decided if they are going to go through with it and she finds out she is pregnant.

This isn’t a situation where they were humming along the process and then she considered bailing at the last second. It seems like the process was start and stop and then they reached a point where it finally seemed like it could happen and they needed to commit to the process and she found out she was pregnant and they

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Should adult adoptees voices be centered? Okay, maybe.

But the reality is that some kids are in such awful situations that adoptions do need to happen.

I agree that in international adoptions it is not easy to assure that parental rights have been respected.

At the same time, the US sends kids abroad to be adopted.

But none of this is the point of the thread. ACB is the topic of the thread. And her inappropriate comments about adoption.

Adding blanket negative statements about "all white people should not adopt black kids" is pointless, hurtful, and also off topic.

Well, she brought them up and she chose to present her kids differently based on how they entered her faily, so fair game.

Also, domestic adoptions are also tricky when it comes to relinquishing parental rights. Read more , please