What the heck are our kids going to do this summer with no camps and no pools?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a teacher so I don’t have to work but my soon to be 10 yo usually did some camp. I’m using our current time Tm together to figure out new ways to peacefully coexist at home. My DS is a tough kid in many ways but it’s going ok.

Let him go out. He is 10, he can ride a bike to all ends of the world(within 5 miles) and grow and explore his neighborhood. You know what is sad today? That most 10 year olds can't find their house if they go on a walk 4 streets down.

Oh I do. I actively encourage it. He is often very resistant to the idea. Any gentle ways to encourage more independence? I’m hoping library will reopen for summer. He has walked there with a friend before.

Yes, there are ways to encourage it. Cut off the access to TV and internet, pack him a "picnic" and if social distancing is allowing kids to play with friends, have two bikes? Can he ride a bike? Since I am aware that this in not the 80s, where my parents had no idea where I was and would only get worried by 7pm, and police might pick up your new free range kid.... I suggest a cheap cell phone(let face it, most kids already have them in the DMV by 8!) and download 360 on their phone. That way, you know where he is off to. Invite his friend over for a while day and clear with their parent if this kid is allowed to ride bikes and roam around without supervision. As you said you don't have to work during the summer, bike for you and him. Water, picnic, off to a huge long day away for you both. You will bond, you will have fun, you will let him and you get dirty. You will find sticks and streams. Then, have him do the same with a friend since he already explored that path with you. And don't worry about him, don't nag him, don't call him for lunch, he will live.
Now, this is all given he doesn't have some emotional or physical disability. Sorry if I sound like I am annoying, I don't know your kid, but these are some of the things I did, and now that my kids are older, I wish I gave them more freedom to do these activities. So, take my advice wit ha grain of salt! (We moved so much, my own kids rarely knew their neighborhoods, so maybe this is more something I could go back and change, than really what you can realistically do.)

He is ADHD/ASD, but I'm ok with implementing some of these strategies. Unfortunately, he experiences social rejection often, which makes things tougher. I'll also be in the third trimester of pregnancy by then, so I don't feel like biking, but I've been getting him out with me for walks in the morning (he rides his bike). He's a difficult and oppositional child who rejects many suggestions in a vehement way. However, I had enough of him needling his toddler sister this morning, so I threatened to throw him out of the house and he straightened up.

Good luck op! What a joy to be pregnant and how tough it must be being pregnant in the times of corona-virus! I just wanted to mention looking into anxiety. My DS has severe anxiety, and he also was so resistant to doing new thing and inviting people over. And he was awful to his younger sister! Did you look into anxiety? Again, just me brainstorming, you probably considered all of these and clearly are working with professionals to help you ds. Good luck!

Anxiety is clearly part of the puzzle. I’ve been on the ES forum thread about the sensitive and clingy 9 yo girl as well. I’m going to try that self compassion workbook. My DS has a therapist and an IEP but I feel like it’s hard to break his challenges into components and address each separately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it that hard to take responsibility for your own kids?

Some of us work, idiot. And some people were relying on summer camps for childcare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it that hard to take responsibility for your own kids?

While also working our FT jobs? Yes. Sure is.

Exactly. How the hell am I supposed to entertain my kindergarten and 2nd graders while I'm working all day?

Well, what are you dong with them now?

Dad (on admin leave b/c he can't telework) supervises online school, but he's going back to work next month. Once summer starts there won't even be school to occupy their time.

You can supplement at home. You can hire a high school or college kid to watch them.

Yes, let's hire a stranger to come into our house now. That's a great idea!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s sad that your kids can’t function without scheduled activities.

This

You people are insufferable.

[Anonymous]

What they're doing now, but with less school work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s sad that your kids can’t function without scheduled activities.

This

You people are insufferable.

I happen to agree with the other posters. Please explain why we are insufferable?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s sad that your kids can’t function without scheduled activities.

This

You people are insufferable.

I happen to agree with the other posters. Please explain why we are insufferable?

Because you're purposefully being obtuse. Or you're just actually that stupid. To say that "it's sad" that people's kids can't function without scheduled activities misses the point of the post by about 487,931 miles. Do you think the only problem about this summer is the lack of scheduled activities? Because if you do, I can't help you. If you're interested in learning, it's more the fact that if pools and beaches are closed, libraries and museums and movie theaters and bowling alleys are closed, kids can't see their friends, and basically people are living in isolation, then this summer is going to suck. And not because the kids can't function without scheduled activities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s sad that your kids can’t function without scheduled activities.

This

You people are insufferable.

I happen to agree with the other posters. Please explain why we are insufferable?

Because you're purposefully being obtuse. Or you're just actually that stupid. To say that "it's sad" that people's kids can't function without scheduled activities misses the point of the post by about 487,931 miles. Do you think the only problem about this summer is the lack of scheduled activities? Because if you do, I can't help you. If you're interested in learning, it's more the fact that if pools and beaches are closed, libraries and museums and movie theaters and bowling alleys are closed, kids can't see their friends, and basically people are living in isolation, then this summer is going to suck. And not because the kids can't function without scheduled activities.

You are insufferable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stay at home, watch TV, read, play in the yard, and play games like we did in the old days... especially if we were poor or middle class.

They will survive, and maybe become more creative.

But the difference was in the old days there was usually a parent home in the house or at least neighborhood kids and some neighbor parents home.
We made mistake of not signing up our rising 7th grader for camp. They complained they were too old and it was boring and to be honest the camps that were going to be best for that age group were either sleep away or very expensive day camps and we couldn't really afford those.
Here is what happened -

Day 1-3 - were ok, lots of calls and texts on first day especially as the day wound down, by day 3 the novelty had definitely worn off
Day 4 - onward lots of complaining before we left in the mornings, calls and texts and more and more days of accompanying us to work

what we discovered - most kids in our neighborhood were either at camp, on vacation or with relatives seriously limiting anyone close by to hang out with, also parents aren't keen to send their similar age child over to a house with no parents around for 10 hours a day and you as a parent don't want that either and we didn't want our kid roaming the neighborhood too far or alone for too long either

our pool changed their policies so kids under 15 couldn't enter the pool without an adult so no pool alone during the day and neighbors who had nannies or babysitters didn't want to burden them on a daily basis so that only panned out a couple of times but was costly for us because we ended up giving some cash to the caregiver to "cover expenses"

loneliness was a big problem, If we managed to work from home, then our kid could get absorbed in a project but when all alone they wouldn't do it

boredom and being stuck inside most of the day meant they wanted to go out and do things once we got home but we were often too tried

We finally bit the bullet and paid for a very expensive area day camp for 2 weeks that had a specific focus, and then begged a friend to let our kid be a nanny help for her nanny for her preschool twins, and then we ended up having to take vacation time for most of August. We were lucky our workplaces were flexible.

That summer was bad but it was a lesson learned for sure.

[Anonymous]

I kind pf feel bad for kids today because they can't have the freedom we have. Sports amd camps and things can be great, but they aren'y the be all end all. I think alot of people who are "against" them in way is because they are so unattainable for families and have taken over childhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone being a D should bring a couple kids to work with them for the summer and report back.

You wanted them. Deal with them. You’ve probably even made a snide remark or two about (or to) people who don’t want kids. The greatest love of all, life isn’t complete without them, why get married otherwise, blah blah blah... enjoy!!!!!

Wow your cool “ChildFrEE” life is soooo exciting that you’re on a parenting website at 8:15 in the morning yelling at parents. So fun. So exciting. So much freedom you must have. Wow.

The freedom to lay in bed until 8:45, have a quiet breakfast catching up on news and social media, taking a work call at 10:30, will have a nice run and nap this afternoon before spending time with my husband watching the NFL draft today. Perfection.

But why are you here?

For the numerous other forums not parenting related. I come in this particular forum for laughs. Thank you for providing them!

[Anonymous]

I have just one 3 year old. We are doing OK but the number of weeks ahead has me worried. When I was 3, in the 80s, I at least had siblings, neighbor friends and a yard, even if no activities, pool or involved parents. My child only has mom and dad and a tiny outdoor space. I try to stay positive. We bake, make play dough, video call all the relatives, etc. Kids are resilient, but this is not normal at all. I don't appreciate the comments that this is close to normal or just a throwback to simpler times. It is not, unless you are throwing back to??? What?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stay at home, watch TV, read, play in the yard, and play games like we did in the old days... especially if we were poor or middle class.

They will survive, and maybe become more creative.

But the difference was in the old days there was usually a parent home in the house or at least neighborhood kids and some neighbor parents home.
We made mistake of not signing up our rising 7th grader for camp. They complained they were too old and it was boring and to be honest the camps that were going to be best for that age group were either sleep away or very expensive day camps and we couldn't really afford those.
Here is what happened -

Day 1-3 - were ok, lots of calls and texts on first day especially as the day wound down, by day 3 the novelty had definitely worn off
Day 4 - onward lots of complaining before we left in the mornings, calls and texts and more and more days of accompanying us to work

what we discovered - most kids in our neighborhood were either at camp, on vacation or with relatives seriously limiting anyone close by to hang out with, also parents aren't keen to send their similar age child over to a house with no parents around for 10 hours a day and you as a parent don't want that either and we didn't want our kid roaming the neighborhood too far or alone for too long either

our pool changed their policies so kids under 15 couldn't enter the pool without an adult so no pool alone during the day and neighbors who had nannies or babysitters didn't want to burden them on a daily basis so that only panned out a couple of times but was costly for us because we ended up giving some cash to the caregiver to "cover expenses"

loneliness was a big problem, If we managed to work from home, then our kid could get absorbed in a project but when all alone they wouldn't do it

boredom and being stuck inside most of the day meant they wanted to go out and do things once we got home but we were often too tried

We finally bit the bullet and paid for a very expensive area day camp for 2 weeks that had a specific focus, and then begged a friend to let our kid be a nanny help for her nanny for her preschool twins, and then we ended up having to take vacation time for most of August. We were lucky our workplaces were flexible.

That summer was bad but it was a lesson learned for sure.

Your kid is lonely and bored because you have spoon fed him/her entertainment his/her entire life up to this point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a teacher so I don’t have to work but my soon to be 10 yo usually did some camp. I’m using our current time Tm together to figure out new ways to peacefully coexist at home. My DS is a tough kid in many ways but it’s going ok.

Let him go out. He is 10, he can ride a bike to all ends of the world(within 5 miles) and grow and explore his neighborhood. You know what is sad today? That most 10 year olds can't find their house if they go on a walk 4 streets down.

Oh I do. I actively encourage it. He is often very resistant to the idea. Any gentle ways to encourage more independence? I’m hoping library will reopen for summer. He has walked there with a friend before.

Yes, there are ways to encourage it. Cut off the access to TV and internet, pack him a "picnic" and if social distancing is allowing kids to play with friends, have two bikes? Can he ride a bike? Since I am aware that this in not the 80s, where my parents had no idea where I was and would only get worried by 7pm, and police might pick up your new free range kid.... I suggest a cheap cell phone(let face it, most kids already have them in the DMV by 8!) and download 360 on their phone. That way, you know where he is off to. Invite his friend over for a while day and clear with their parent if this kid is allowed to ride bikes and roam around without supervision. As you said you don't have to work during the summer, bike for you and him. Water, picnic, off to a huge long day away for you both. You will bond, you will have fun, you will let him and you get dirty. You will find sticks and streams. Then, have him do the same with a friend since he already explored that path with you. And don't worry about him, don't nag him, don't call him for lunch, he will live.
Now, this is all given he doesn't have some emotional or physical disability. Sorry if I sound like I am annoying, I don't know your kid, but these are some of the things I did, and now that my kids are older, I wish I gave them more freedom to do these activities. So, take my advice wit ha grain of salt! (We moved so much, my own kids rarely knew their neighborhoods, so maybe this is more something I could go back and change, than really what you can realistically do.)

He is ADHD/ASD, but I'm ok with implementing some of these strategies. Unfortunately, he experiences social rejection often, which makes things tougher. I'll also be in the third trimester of pregnancy by then, so I don't feel like biking, but I've been getting him out with me for walks in the morning (he rides his bike). He's a difficult and oppositional child who rejects many suggestions in a vehement way. However, I had enough of him needling his toddler sister this morning, so I threatened to throw him out of the house and he straightened up.

Ten, toddler and pregnant. Second marriage?

Secondary infertility....I’m just going to assume you weren’t trying to be snide.

Why would you have a third kid when you’re first is so difficult? Two I get for companionship, but do you really want to spread yourselves so thin with three? Some of you are such shit decision makers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They will do what poor kids do every summer.

TRUTH.

You all really need to adapt and overcome. Use your bootstraps to pull out ideas for kids!

I think people whip have experienced ‘paradigm shifts’ are the ones who are more resilient with coping now. The ones who have led Lake Wobegon lives are discovering what life really is like for the rest of us and need our help in learning how to adapt and problem solve.

Keep in mind that many well-off people, at least in the DMV, don't have deep local social networks comprised of old friends and extended families to tap into, because they sacrificed those things to go to out-of-state colleges and pursue higher-paying careers in distant places. So in some ways, they are poorer, not richer.