Reply to What the heck are our kids going to do this summer with no camps and no pools?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m a teacher so I don’t have to work but my soon to be 10 yo usually did some camp. I’m using our current time Tm together to figure out new ways to peacefully coexist at home. My DS is a tough kid in many ways but it’s going ok. [/quote]
Let him go out. He is 10, he can ride a bike to all ends of the world(within 5 miles) and grow and explore his neighborhood. You know what is sad today? That most 10 year olds can't find their house if they go on a walk 4 streets down.[/quote]

Oh I do. I actively encourage it. He is often very resistant to the idea. Any gentle ways to encourage more independence? I’m hoping library will reopen for summer. He has walked there with a friend before. [/quote]
Yes, there are ways to encourage it. Cut off the access to TV and internet, pack him a "picnic" and if social distancing is allowing kids to play with friends, have two bikes? Can he ride a bike? Since I am aware that this in not the 80s, where my parents had no idea where I was and would only get worried by 7pm, and police might pick up your new free range kid.... I suggest a cheap cell phone(let face it, most kids already have them in the DMV by 8!) and download 360 on their phone. That way, you know where he is off to. Invite his friend over for a while day and clear with their parent if this kid is allowed to ride bikes and roam around without supervision. As you said you don't have to work during the summer, bike for you and him. Water, picnic, off to a huge long day away for you both. You will bond, you will have fun, you will let him and you get dirty. You will find sticks and streams. Then, have him do the same with a friend since he already explored that path with you. And don't worry about him, don't nag him, don't call him for lunch, he will live.
Now, this is all given he doesn't have some emotional or physical disability. Sorry if I sound like I am annoying, I don't know your kid, but these are some of the things I did, and now that my kids are older, I wish I gave them more freedom to do these activities. So, take my advice wit ha grain of salt! (We moved so much, my own kids rarely knew their neighborhoods, so maybe this is more something I could go back and change, than really what you can realistically do.)[/quote]

He is ADHD/ASD, but I'm ok with implementing some of these strategies. Unfortunately, he experiences social rejection often, which makes things tougher. I'll also be in the third trimester of pregnancy by then, so I don't feel like biking, but I've been getting him out with me for walks in the morning (he rides his bike). He's a difficult and oppositional child who rejects many suggestions in a vehement way. However, I had enough of him needling his toddler sister this morning, so I threatened to throw him out of the house and he straightened up. [/quote]
Good luck op! What a joy to be pregnant and how tough it must be being pregnant in the times of corona-virus! I just wanted to mention looking into anxiety. My DS has severe anxiety, and he also was so resistant to doing new thing and inviting people over. And he was awful to his younger sister!  Did you look into anxiety? Again, just me brainstorming, you probably considered all of these and clearly are working with professionals to help you ds. Good luck![/quote]

Anxiety is clearly part of the puzzle. I’ve been on the ES forum thread about the sensitive and clingy 9 yo girl as well. I’m going to try that self compassion workbook. My DS has a therapist and an IEP but I feel like it’s hard to break his challenges into components and address each separately. [/quote]

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