Would you mind if your 15 year old drank?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Yes, I would absolutely mind!
College is the earliest kids should try alcohol (responsibly, although it might be wishful thinking).

Not trying until college reduces the likelihood your kid will try responsibly then.

You made that up.

Kids who have never had alcohol, particularly if it is because of parent restrictions, are more likely to go crazy with the freedom of college. They are also less prepared to handle the effects of alcohol so are more likely to get trashed, intentionally or not.

NP, and you have literally no research to back that up.

As someone who studies alcohol addiction, you’re damn right I would mind if my 15 year old drank. I’m not so naive as to think teenagers never drink, but I’m not going to approve it or supply for them or tell them it’s okay. Same for weed. Both substances are terrible for developing brains.

The problem is that you’re surrounded with worst case scenario so you really actually don’t understand what happens to the majority of kids.

NP. I don't think you understand how research works...

How about you read a little bit about the research done around cops, firefighters, and therapists and how I was being around tragedy affects their ability to reason.

Addiction researcher here: you’re talking about trauma research. I know something about that, too, and it’s absolutely a risk factor for later development of addiction (and a whole host of other things). Your comment is a non sequiter, but I wanted to address the link between trauma and addiction.

As to the worst case scenario thing: I know how to interpret epidemiological and longitudinal studies. I’ve also treated patients with addiction, and know how to separate my clinical work from the research. Sure, the majority of kids who drink in adolescence don’t go on to develop alcohol addiction. That doesn’t mean it’s good for them or okay to do or NBD. I’ll try to modify those risk factors I can, thanks.

I agree with the researcher.

Plus, many of you are jumping to the worst case scenario — addiction. But there’s also impaired behavior and judgment. Having sex while drunk and later realizing you did not consent. Or you did not get consent. Or you drive drunk and get arrested. Or hurt. Or hurt someone else. Kids can barely manage their hormonal messy lives while sober. Don’t make it worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those of you who say you would mind, did you drink at that age yourself?

I would mind. And yes, I drank at some point in high school. And knowing the dangerous crap I did asa a result is why I would mind. However, my number one concern would be my son not getting in a drunk drivers car. So if he called me from a party drunk to get a ride, I would likely talk to him about it, but inflict zero punishment.

This. I would also add that the younger this starts the more likely you are running with the fast crowd and risk of trouble for the next several years abounds. -Mom of Junior (I think my 16.5 year old has only this year been around alcohol but others started in 8th grade)

[Anonymous]

Having sex while drunk and later realizing you did not consent.

I don't even know where to start with this totally f'd up statement.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:2 beers at 15 is ok

It's actually not. You don't get to pick and choose what is legal. If you want your children to respect and follow the law, you have to respect and follow the law.

100 Percent agree.

Except it’s legal for your team to drink two beers in your house

Quote. Even if it’s “a typo”, I stand by my point.

Also, if you leave beer unchecked/unsecured at your home and my teen comes home drunk, I will report you.

I expect you to parent in your own home.

or he would be charged with stealing just like if he took money off a counter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I would absolutely mind!
College is the earliest kids should try alcohol (responsibly, although it might be wishful thinking).

Not trying until college reduces the likelihood your kid will try responsibly then.

You made that up.

Kids who have never had alcohol, particularly if it is because of parent restrictions, are more likely to go crazy with the freedom of college. They are also less prepared to handle the effects of alcohol so are more likely to get trashed, intentionally or not.

NP, and you have literally no research to back that up.

As someone who studies alcohol addiction, you’re damn right I would mind if my 15 year old drank. I’m not so naive as to think teenagers never drink, but I’m not going to approve it or supply for them or tell them it’s okay. Same for weed. Both substances are terrible for developing brains.

The problem is that you’re surrounded with worst case scenario so you really actually don’t understand what happens to the majority of kids.

NP. I don't think you understand how research works...

How about you read a little bit about the research done around cops, firefighters, and therapists and how I was being around tragedy affects their ability to reason.

Addiction researcher here: you’re talking about trauma research. I know something about that, too, and it’s absolutely a risk factor for later development of addiction (and a whole host of other things). Your comment is a non sequiter, but I wanted to address the link between trauma and addiction.

As to the worst case scenario thing: I know how to interpret epidemiological and longitudinal studies. I’ve also treated patients with addiction, and know how to separate my clinical work from the research. Sure, the majority of kids who drink in adolescence don’t go on to develop alcohol addiction. That doesn’t mean it’s good for them or okay to do or NBD. I’ll try to modify those risk factors I can, thanks.

I agree with the researcher.

Plus, many of you are jumping to the worst case scenario — addiction. But there’s also impaired behavior and judgment. Having sex while drunk and later realizing you did not consent. Or you did not get consent. Or you drive drunk and get arrested. Or hurt. Or hurt someone else. Kids can barely manage their hormonal messy lives while sober. Don’t make it worse.

+1 and thanks, addiction researcher. The bottom line is, even if you don’t care if DC gets drunk occasionally, even if you almost expect DC to experiment, you need to set firm boundaries and act like it’s a big deal. Teens are programmed to push boundaries, and if your boundaries are super-lax they’ll just go that much further to go beyond them. With a variety of possible bad consequences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I would absolutely mind!
College is the earliest kids should try alcohol (responsibly, although it might be wishful thinking).

Not trying until college reduces the likelihood your kid will try responsibly then.

You made that up.

Kids who have never had alcohol, particularly if it is because of parent restrictions, are more likely to go crazy with the freedom of college. They are also less prepared to handle the effects of alcohol so are more likely to get trashed, intentionally or not.

NP, and you have literally no research to back that up.

As someone who studies alcohol addiction, you’re damn right I would mind if my 15 year old drank. I’m not so naive as to think teenagers never drink, but I’m not going to approve it or supply for them or tell them it’s okay. Same for weed. Both substances are terrible for developing brains.

The problem is that you’re surrounded with worst case scenario so you really actually don’t understand what happens to the majority of kids.

NP. I don't think you understand how research works...

How about you read a little bit about the research done around cops, firefighters, and therapists and how I was being around tragedy affects their ability to reason.

Addiction researcher here: you’re talking about trauma research. I know something about that, too, and it’s absolutely a risk factor for later development of addiction (and a whole host of other things). Your comment is a non sequiter, but I wanted to address the link between trauma and addiction.

As to the worst case scenario thing: I know how to interpret epidemiological and longitudinal studies. I’ve also treated patients with addiction, and know how to separate my clinical work from the research. Sure, the majority of kids who drink in adolescence don’t go on to develop alcohol addiction. That doesn’t mean it’s good for them or okay to do or NBD. I’ll try to modify those risk factors I can, thanks.

I agree with the researcher.

Plus, many of you are jumping to the worst case scenario — addiction. But there’s also impaired behavior and judgment. Having sex while drunk and later realizing you did not consent. Or you did not get consent. Or you drive drunk and get arrested. Or hurt. Or hurt someone else. Kids can barely manage their hormonal messy lives while sober. Don’t make it worse.

+1 and thanks, addiction researcher. The bottom line is, even if you don’t care if DC gets drunk occasionally, even if you almost expect DC to experiment, you need to set firm boundaries and act like it’s a big deal. Teens are programmed to push boundaries, and if your boundaries are super-lax they’ll just go that much further to go beyond them. With a variety of possible bad consequences.

I understand there is something to this but just as there may be some differences between boys and girls generally but the differences among boys and among girls are so great that it’s harmful to rely on boy/girl stereotypes for any individual kid, I think it’s important to know your kid. Not every kid when treated like a proto-adult reacts by seeing how far they can push it and gets into trouble.

The hypothetical was not would you be upset if your kid drank and drove but would you be upset if your kid had 1-2 beers. Some people have rationally discussed that it may increase risks and that’s fair, but people (certainly including kids) are very good at sensing BS and the idea that you should intentionally overreact because that will get the desired behavior from your teen is not something I would try.

[Anonymous]

what the hell kind of stupid question is this post? kidding me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I would absolutely mind!
College is the earliest kids should try alcohol (responsibly, although it might be wishful thinking).

Not trying until college reduces the likelihood your kid will try responsibly then.

You made that up.

Kids who have never had alcohol, particularly if it is because of parent restrictions, are more likely to go crazy with the freedom of college. They are also less prepared to handle the effects of alcohol so are more likely to get trashed, intentionally or not.

Again, you made that up. The data does not support it.

Ok, let's see this purported data.

You made the claim- please post a single peer-reviewed study that indicates teenagers who drink are less likely to become problem drinkers in college/as adults.

Read my post. I didn't make reference to peer reviewed studies or any claims related thereto. You are the only one who has said anything about studies. So let's see them.

(And you are somewhat misinterpreting my statement. I don't believe someone who drinks a lot in HS all of sudden changes in college. Brett Kavanaugh and his ilk drank plenty in college. But, when people have very restrictive parents who try to eliminate any alcohol use, it often leads kids to want the forbidden fruit and to be ill prepared to handle it. In contrast, someone who drank occasionally, and generally moderately, in HS is often better suited to handle the freedoms of college.)

NP here. Do you have any studies to back up this claim? The "forbidden fruit" claim? I've heard the opposite - that those students who do not drink in high school drink less that their peers (who experimented with alcohol in HS) while in college and as adults.

[Anonymous]

Quick google search provided this article: https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2019/04/01/think-youre-keeping-your-teenage-drinker-safe-think-again/
It cites some studies in there.

[Anonymous]

It is against the law. Any child of ours who drinks 2 beers at a party when only 15 will be in a HUGE amount of trouble with us. There would be consequences: a significant increase in household responsibilities, a substantial loss in freedoms and access to things that we view as privileges, and 24/7 adult supervision of the child. I say this as a parent who did drink and used other substances as a teen. It is by the grace of God that I did not irrevocably harm myself or others. A 15 year old does not have sufficient judgment or maturity to be drinking.

[Anonymous]

Some of you guy's responses sound straight up crazy. Many of you don't want your kids drinking Cokes and Mountain Dew, but beer is Ok? WTF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:2 beers at 15 is ok

It's actually not. You don't get to pick and choose what is legal. If you want your children to respect and follow the law, you have to respect and follow the law.

100 Percent agree.

Except it’s legal for your team to drink two beers in your house

There are 8 states that allow this. It does not allow for someone else to provide alcohol at their house. So, a parent who provides alcohol to underage kids at a party, get together or beach week can be citied. Will they get in that much trouble, not in MD as mostly they get off with a small fine. Unfortunately, that's when someone dies at the hands of a drunk driver.

That said, the law is 21 so explain to your teen why they have to follow other laws but not that one???

This is should be a no brainer. Oh wait, none of the bad stuff will ever happen to my kid. My kid won't drive drunk that one time. My kid won't get alcohol poisoning. My kid .......

...have you not explained to your children the concept of bad laws? I should hope a 15yo is able to grasp that, whether or not you think the drinking age is one such.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of you guy's responses sound straight up crazy. Many of you don't want your kids drinking Cokes and Mountain Dew, but beer is Ok? WTF.

I’m guessing there isn’t a lot of overlap between the soda bad crowd and the beer ok crowd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of you guy's responses sound straight up crazy. Many of you don't want your kids drinking Cokes and Mountain Dew, but beer is Ok? WTF.

I’m guessing there isn’t a lot of overlap between the soda bad crowd and the beer ok crowd.

I'd count myself in that camp. I think there is value in learning to drink responsibility. I don't see any value in soda. I'm not going to flip out if my kid has it, unlike many folks on this thread and alcohol, but I'd prefer she didn't.

[Anonymous]

I would mind immensely if my kids drank at 15. For all the addiction reasons and because their brain is still very much developing at that age.

I have promised a cash incentive to both my kids - no booze before 18 and they get the cash. One of them won't cheat the other might, but knowing the first one will rat them out and they'd loose the money.