tell me your worst uncomfortable/unfair IL visit stories!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My issue is that my inlaws won't tell us when they're leaving or coming. Petty and minor I'm sure. Inlaws tell us "we're coming the weekend of the 16th!" and then no more information is forthcoming. I make sure to have an extra special dinner on Friday just in case they decide to come. I also cancel my weekend plans with friends. Nope. Not that night. DH calls them and they say they're coming on Saturday. We sit around all day. I make an extra special dinner because "they're coming for dinner." I have a 2 and a 4 year old who go to sleep at 7, so we eat at 6ish. Inlaws FINALLY show up at 10pm and want dinner. I think they expected us to wait and eat with them. The next day we do a morning activity and then I come home and put the kids down for their nap at noon so I can get started on a nice lunch. NOPE Inlaws are standing in my entry with their luggage saying goodbye. My oldest was extremely upset that his grandparents left while he napped and cried about how he didn't get to say goodbye. WTF I couldn't believe they spent like 4 hours with my kids.

Take 2: Inlaws are coming for my son's 4th birthday party.They wanted to make sure they weren't early, so they didn't get in Friday night. We had our family celebration with my family and his family Friday night with cake and gifts and Saturday was the friend's party. Saturday morning they call us when they're leaving, except they're 4 hours away and the party was starting in 2 hours. They missed the entire birthday party. And then they left that night without staying, even though I washed the guest room sheets and cleaned the guest bath.

I feel so damn disrespected every single time they blow us off. Their visits are like a hit and run. I clean and cook and plan fun activities with the kids and they don't show. I told DH if he ever lets them walk all over me again I was going to leave him. The last time during the birthday party I know DH tried to get times/dates out of them.

What drives this pathology? My SIL does this - she will drive down and literally left AS my two year old daughters birthday party started- like walked out the door with her kids- and of course I found our later her excuse for leaving was faux. So effed up. I think it’s a weird control freak thing. Curious what other think? Or is it a lack of manners?

I can think of a few explanations:

- totally, cluelessly selfish -- as in, not actually selfish because they just can't even conceive of why leaving would be a big deal at all, once they decided that they wanted to leave for whatever reason

- hiding some kind of serious resentment/trigger that you don't know about, and they are overwhelmed

- borderline personality disorder and they're making up some kind of story about how you offended them and drove them off

- an issue you don't know about with their kids (ie special needs and it was clear they were going to melt down)

- a health issue (eg bathroom issue)

- other addiction/mental health issue

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First time I visited my IL’s their damn cat pissed all over my clothes in my suitcase.

OMG, my BIL and SIL have a cat that pees on guests’ stuff too. You can’t leave the guest room door open for a second. We didn’t know this, and the bedding got soaked by the cat. Didn’t find out until climbing into it, well after everyone else was asleep. Had to wake up our hosts and ask for clean sheets and blankets. Then we slept without a comforter in a house where they kept the thermostat at 60°. For this and a few other reasons, we stay in a hotel now. Thank goodness for loyalty points.

ewwwwww!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My bil/ sil came to visit after we had our second child. We also had a two year old at the time. Apparently, he (BIL) brought a gun and left it in the guest room bed on top of the pillow. Luckily, my husband saw it before my two year old did...We don’t see them much anymore. Oh and after this occurrence , my MIL said, well you don’t really know if it was loaded or not?. They are all crazy.

AAAHHH! I am OP and I am going to declare you the WINNER of this thread. Congrats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My FIL came for what was supposed to be one nigby, stayed for more than a month, and left us bedbugs. Oh, and bought my 6 year old racist memorabilia for his birthday. Good times!

Can't leave us hanging. What did he bring your kid?

Kid loves history. Saved up his allowance to buy a Union soldier uniform at a National Park gift shop. Solely to antagonize me (because he enjoys pushing my buttons), FIL bought a bunch of Confederate things: the opposing uniform, decorations, belt buckle, drum with Confederate flags all over it. FIL expected a battle, but kid solved it by saying, disappointed, “Oh, Grandpa, thank you for the gifts, but these are for the side that wanted slavery, so they’re not fun to pretend with.”

The bedbugs were harder. It’s just the purposeful trying to get my goat like that that is tiresome. I’m expecting him to buy kid a Trump shirt or MAGA hat next. (He’s not really a Trump supporter; just has no life or friends and annoying people is his sad entertainment. He’s previously brandished the n-word just to get me to follow through on my statement that I would of tell him to leave if he says that in my home.

Um, your kid is AMAZING!

No, this is so stupid. Who are the union soldiers going to fight if there are no Confederates? If you give your kid GI Joes, do you also not buy Nazis and he just hosts tea parties?

I machine gunned like a million toy Nazis as a kid and it made me less racist, not more. You all obviously have no understanding of how little boys tick. PP is raising a momma's boy and will be complaining when he can't find a date 20 years from now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My FIL came for what was supposed to be one nigby, stayed for more than a month, and left us bedbugs. Oh, and bought my 6 year old racist memorabilia for his birthday. Good times!

Can't leave us hanging. What did he bring your kid?

Kid loves history. Saved up his allowance to buy a Union soldier uniform at a National Park gift shop. Solely to antagonize me (because he enjoys pushing my buttons), FIL bought a bunch of Confederate things: the opposing uniform, decorations, belt buckle, drum with Confederate flags all over it. FIL expected a battle, but kid solved it by saying, disappointed, “Oh, Grandpa, thank you for the gifts, but these are for the side that wanted slavery, so they’re not fun to pretend with.”

The bedbugs were harder. It’s just the purposeful trying to get my goat like that that is tiresome. I’m expecting him to buy kid a Trump shirt or MAGA hat next. (He’s not really a Trump supporter; just has no life or friends and annoying people is his sad entertainment. He’s previously brandished the n-word just to get me to follow through on my statement that I would of tell him to leave if he says that in my home.

Um, your kid is AMAZING!

No, this is so stupid. Who are the union soldiers going to fight if there are no Confederates? If you give your kid GI Joes, do you also not buy Nazis and he just hosts tea parties?

I machine gunned like a million toy Nazis as a kid and it made me less racist, not more. You all obviously have no understanding of how little boys tick. PP is raising a momma's boy and will be complaining when he can't find a date 20 years from now.

um no, I do not buy my child nazi toy figures. is this a parody post?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My FIL came for what was supposed to be one nigby, stayed for more than a month, and left us bedbugs. Oh, and bought my 6 year old racist memorabilia for his birthday. Good times!

Can't leave us hanging. What did he bring your kid?

Kid loves history. Saved up his allowance to buy a Union soldier uniform at a National Park gift shop. Solely to antagonize me (because he enjoys pushing my buttons), FIL bought a bunch of Confederate things: the opposing uniform, decorations, belt buckle, drum with Confederate flags all over it. FIL expected a battle, but kid solved it by saying, disappointed, “Oh, Grandpa, thank you for the gifts, but these are for the side that wanted slavery, so they’re not fun to pretend with.”

The bedbugs were harder. It’s just the purposeful trying to get my goat like that that is tiresome. I’m expecting him to buy kid a Trump shirt or MAGA hat next. (He’s not really a Trump supporter; just has no life or friends and annoying people is his sad entertainment. He’s previously brandished the n-word just to get me to follow through on my statement that I would of tell him to leave if he says that in my home.

Um, your kid is AMAZING!

No, this is so stupid. Who are the union soldiers going to fight if there are no Confederates? If you give your kid GI Joes, do you also not buy Nazis and he just hosts tea parties?

I machine gunned like a million toy Nazis as a kid and it made me less racist, not more. You all obviously have no understanding of how little boys tick. PP is raising a momma's boy and will be complaining when he can't find a date 20 years from now.

Um, grandpa bought him a confederate UNIFORM. Did you like to dress up as a Nazi as a kid? Hopefully you don’t still do it now “for fun.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My FIL came for what was supposed to be one nigby, stayed for more than a month, and left us bedbugs. Oh, and bought my 6 year old racist memorabilia for his birthday. Good times!

Can't leave us hanging. What did he bring your kid?

Kid loves history. Saved up his allowance to buy a Union soldier uniform at a National Park gift shop. Solely to antagonize me (because he enjoys pushing my buttons), FIL bought a bunch of Confederate things: the opposing uniform, decorations, belt buckle, drum with Confederate flags all over it. FIL expected a battle, but kid solved it by saying, disappointed, “Oh, Grandpa, thank you for the gifts, but these are for the side that wanted slavery, so they’re not fun to pretend with.”

The bedbugs were harder. It’s just the purposeful trying to get my goat like that that is tiresome. I’m expecting him to buy kid a Trump shirt or MAGA hat next. (He’s not really a Trump supporter; just has no life or friends and annoying people is his sad entertainment. He’s previously brandished the n-word just to get me to follow through on my statement that I would of tell him to leave if he says that in my home.

Um, your kid is AMAZING!

No, this is so stupid. Who are the union soldiers going to fight if there are no Confederates? If you give your kid GI Joes, do you also not buy Nazis and he just hosts tea parties?

I machine gunned like a million toy Nazis as a kid and it made me less racist, not more. You all obviously have no understanding of how little boys tick. PP is raising a momma's boy and will be complaining when he can't find a date 20 years from now.

Um, grandpa bought him a confederate UNIFORM. Did you like to dress up as a Nazi as a kid? Hopefully you don’t still do it now “for fun.”

PP here with the racist FIL. Exactly how I feel about a uniform. We do have a set of plastic toy soldiers that has Confederate as well as Union soldiers. And my 6 year old always geelfully has the Union destroy the Confederacy. I’m raising him right. I actually don’t remember my brothers or me having ant WWII figures with Nazi soldiers included but if we did you get they would have had a problem with any of us playing the Nazi side as anything other than the side that for defeated, rightly. I would never, ever let my kid play dress up as a Confederate, just as I wouldn’t let him wear a Nazi armband while playing WWII. And I’m proud that I did t have to say anything because my kid was rightly disinterested at picking up the mantle of a side that supported slevery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My FIL came for what was supposed to be one nigby, stayed for more than a month, and left us bedbugs. Oh, and bought my 6 year old racist memorabilia for his birthday. Good times!

Can't leave us hanging. What did he bring your kid?

Kid loves history. Saved up his allowance to buy a Union soldier uniform at a National Park gift shop. Solely to antagonize me (because he enjoys pushing my buttons), FIL bought a bunch of Confederate things: the opposing uniform, decorations, belt buckle, drum with Confederate flags all over it. FIL expected a battle, but kid solved it by saying, disappointed, “Oh, Grandpa, thank you for the gifts, but these are for the side that wanted slavery, so they’re not fun to pretend with.”

The bedbugs were harder. It’s just the purposeful trying to get my goat like that that is tiresome. I’m expecting him to buy kid a Trump shirt or MAGA hat next. (He’s not really a Trump supporter; just has no life or friends and annoying people is his sad entertainment. He’s previously brandished the n-word just to get me to follow through on my statement that I would of tell him to leave if he says that in my home.

Um, your kid is AMAZING!

No, this is so stupid. Who are the union soldiers going to fight if there are no Confederates? If you give your kid GI Joes, do you also not buy Nazis and he just hosts tea parties?

I machine gunned like a million toy Nazis as a kid and it made me less racist, not more. You all obviously have no understanding of how little boys tick. PP is raising a momma's boy and will be complaining when he can't find a date 20 years from now.

Um, grandpa bought him a confederate UNIFORM. Did you like to dress up as a Nazi as a kid? Hopefully you don’t still do it now “for fun.”

PP here with the racist FIL. Exactly how I feel about a uniform. We do have a set of plastic toy soldiers that has Confederate as well as Union soldiers. And my 6 year old always geelfully has the Union destroy the Confederacy. I’m raising him right.

I actually don’t remember my brothers or me having any WWII figures with Nazi soldiers included but if we did you bet they would have had a problem with any of us playing the Nazi side as anything other than the side that was defeated, rightly. I would never, ever let my kid play dress up as a Confederate, just as I wouldn’t let him wear a Nazi armband if playing pretend WWII. And I’m proud that I didn’t have to say anything because my kid was rightly disinterested at picking up the mantle of a side that supported slavery.

(Typos corrected. So embarrassing.)