Marriage at 17, solely for emancipation purposes. Crazy idea?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Again, the marriage idea was only for a paper marriage until she’s 18. That would allow her to stay with her mother, and not have to go to her father’s house. It’s perfectly legal, as long as she isn’t doing it for someone who needs a green card. Obviously, we wouldn’t do that.

We’re working on other ways to help her. She’s not being terribly cooperative, and we are all doing our best. This is a very difficult situation for everyone.

If she’s not being cooperative, maybe she perceives the situation differently than you do.

+1

I wouldn’t blame her for being suspicious that it would remain a paper marriage. Perhaps she knows something about this friend that you don’t. There are lot of creepy men who groom the families of teen girls. Wolves in sheep’s clothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Again, the marriage idea was only for a paper marriage until she’s 18. That would allow her to stay with her mother, and not have to go to her father’s house. It’s perfectly legal, as long as she isn’t doing it for someone who needs a green card. Obviously, we wouldn’t do that.

We’re working on other ways to help her. She’s not being terribly cooperative, and we are all doing our best. This is a very difficult situation for everyone.

It’s a terrible idea, and clearly not what she wants. What does she want?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Again, the marriage idea was only for a paper marriage until she’s 18. That would allow her to stay with her mother, and not have to go to her father’s house. It’s perfectly legal, as long as she isn’t doing it for someone who needs a green card. Obviously, we wouldn’t do that.

We’re working on other ways to help her. She’s not being terribly cooperative, and we are all doing our best. This is a very difficult situation for everyone.

If she’s not being cooperative, maybe she perceives the situation differently than you do.

She’s resisting talking to an attorney or police, not the marriage idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Again, the marriage idea was only for a paper marriage until she’s 18. That would allow her to stay with her mother, and not have to go to her father’s house. It’s perfectly legal, as long as she isn’t doing it for someone who needs a green card. Obviously, we wouldn’t do that.

We’re working on other ways to help her. She’s not being terribly cooperative, and we are all doing our best. This is a very difficult situation for everyone.

If she’s not being cooperative, maybe she perceives the situation differently than you do.

She’s resisting talking to an attorney or police, not the marriage idea.

So she WANTS to marry this “friend”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Again, the marriage idea was only for a paper marriage until she’s 18. That would allow her to stay with her mother, and not have to go to her father’s house. It’s perfectly legal, as long as she isn’t doing it for someone who needs a green card. Obviously, we wouldn’t do that.

We’re working on other ways to help her. She’s not being terribly cooperative, and we are all doing our best. This is a very difficult situation for everyone.

If you are not the mother why can’t she just go live with you and hide out from her dad? What about the disabled relative? If you believe it would be months for a custody hearing it would definitely also be months before the father could do anything to enforce the existing order.

I do hope you are a troll though. Even thinking about the idea is sick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Again, the marriage idea was only for a paper marriage until she’s 18. That would allow her to stay with her mother, and not have to go to her father’s house. It’s perfectly legal, as long as she isn’t doing it for someone who needs a green card. Obviously, we wouldn’t do that.

We’re working on other ways to help her. She’s not being terribly cooperative, and we are all doing our best. This is a very difficult situation for everyone.

If you are not the mother why can’t she just go live with you and hide out from her dad? What about the disabled relative? If you believe it would be months for a custody hearing it would definitely also be months before the father could do anything to enforce the existing order.

I do hope you are a troll though. Even thinking about the idea is sick.

Hiding a runaway is a crime. I said before that we’re working on several different options. If one of those options were criminal, spelling it all out on an open message board would be unwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Again, the marriage idea was only for a paper marriage until she’s 18. That would allow her to stay with her mother, and not have to go to her father’s house. It’s perfectly legal, as long as she isn’t doing it for someone who needs a green card. Obviously, we wouldn’t do that.

We’re working on other ways to help her. She’s not being terribly cooperative, and we are all doing our best. This is a very difficult situation for everyone.

If she’s not being cooperative, maybe she perceives the situation differently than you do.

She wants the easiest possible option, but her mother doesn’t want to run the risk of being arrested. Trying to convince her to do something legal is the challenge. A protective order would be legal. A change to the custody order would be legal. A marriage would even be legal.

[Anonymous]

OP, I think you need to take a step back. This is a child who clearly has had a really tough time. Lots of people are not comfortable with the idea of going to the police, particularly if they believe that the police will not protect them but will in fact put them in danger. I appreciate that you are trying to help by thinking outside the box, but consider what you are asking her to do. You are not the one getting married who will need to disclose that married in various ways over her lifetime. It may not be as easy as you think it is to get married, get divorced, and get out of the situation.

Is this girl in counseling? She really should be. She should be receiving a lot of support from qualified professionals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Again, the marriage idea was only for a paper marriage until she’s 18. That would allow her to stay with her mother, and not have to go to her father’s house. It’s perfectly legal, as long as she isn’t doing it for someone who needs a green card. Obviously, we wouldn’t do that.

We’re working on other ways to help her. She’s not being terribly cooperative, and we are all doing our best. This is a very difficult situation for everyone.

If you are not the mother why can’t she just go live with you and hide out from her dad? What about the disabled relative? If you believe it would be months for a custody hearing it would definitely also be months before the father could do anything to enforce the existing order.

I do hope you are a troll though. Even thinking about the idea is sick.

Hiding a runaway is a crime. I said before that we’re working on several different options. If one of those options were criminal, spelling it all out on an open message board would be unwise.

jfc. forcing a minor into a sham marriage to get around a custody order is ALSO a crime. just drop the disgusting idea, ok?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Again, the marriage idea was only for a paper marriage until she’s 18. That would allow her to stay with her mother, and not have to go to her father’s house. It’s perfectly legal, as long as she isn’t doing it for someone who needs a green card. Obviously, we wouldn’t do that.

We’re working on other ways to help her. She’s not being terribly cooperative, and we are all doing our best. This is a very difficult situation for everyone.

If you are not the mother why can’t she just go live with you and hide out from her dad? What about the disabled relative? If you believe it would be months for a custody hearing it would definitely also be months before the father could do anything to enforce the existing order.

I do hope you are a troll though. Even thinking about the idea is sick.

Hiding a runaway is a crime. I said before that we’re working on several different options. If one of those options were criminal, spelling it all out on an open message board would be unwise.

jfc. forcing a minor into a sham marriage to get around a custody order is ALSO a crime. just drop the disgusting idea, ok?

No one is forcing anyone to do anything. You should chill out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Again, the marriage idea was only for a paper marriage until she’s 18. That would allow her to stay with her mother, and not have to go to her father’s house. It’s perfectly legal, as long as she isn’t doing it for someone who needs a green card. Obviously, we wouldn’t do that.

We’re working on other ways to help her. She’s not being terribly cooperative, and we are all doing our best. This is a very difficult situation for everyone.

If she’s not being cooperative, maybe she perceives the situation differently than you do.

She wants the easiest possible option, but her mother doesn’t want to run the risk of being arrested. Trying to convince her to do something legal is the challenge. A protective order would be legal. A change to the custody order would be legal. A marriage would even be legal.

Coerced marriage of a minor would not be legal either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Again, the marriage idea was only for a paper marriage until she’s 18. That would allow her to stay with her mother, and not have to go to her father’s house. It’s perfectly legal, as long as she isn’t doing it for someone who needs a green card. Obviously, we wouldn’t do that.

We’re working on other ways to help her. She’s not being terribly cooperative, and we are all doing our best. This is a very difficult situation for everyone.

If you are not the mother why can’t she just go live with you and hide out from her dad? What about the disabled relative? If you believe it would be months for a custody hearing it would definitely also be months before the father could do anything to enforce the existing order.

I do hope you are a troll though. Even thinking about the idea is sick.

Hiding a runaway is a crime. I said before that we’re working on several different options. If one of those options were criminal, spelling it all out on an open message board would be unwise.

jfc. forcing a minor into a sham marriage to get around a custody order is ALSO a crime. just drop the disgusting idea, ok?

No one is forcing anyone to do anything. You should chill out.

Different poster and mandatory reporter: No one should chill out over this. Presenting marriage at 17 as the best option or the only option when it clearly is not is a form of emotional abuse and potentially endangerment of a minor. I hope this poor girl got far far away. And I wish I knew y’all in real life so I could call CPS and get her a GAL and attorney to protect her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Again, the marriage idea was only for a paper marriage until she’s 18. That would allow her to stay with her mother, and not have to go to her father’s house. It’s perfectly legal, as long as she isn’t doing it for someone who needs a green card. Obviously, we wouldn’t do that.

We’re working on other ways to help her. She’s not being terribly cooperative, and we are all doing our best. This is a very difficult situation for everyone.

If you are not the mother why can’t she just go live with you and hide out from her dad? What about the disabled relative? If you believe it would be months for a custody hearing it would definitely also be months before the father could do anything to enforce the existing order.

I do hope you are a troll though. Even thinking about the idea is sick.

Hiding a runaway is a crime. I said before that we’re working on several different options. If one of those options were criminal, spelling it all out on an open message board would be unwise.

jfc. forcing a minor into a sham marriage to get around a custody order is ALSO a crime. just drop the disgusting idea, ok?

No one is forcing anyone to do anything. You should chill out.

Different poster and mandatory reporter: No one should chill out over this. Presenting marriage at 17 as the best option or the only option when it clearly is not is a form of emotional abuse and potentially endangerment of a minor. I hope this poor girl got far far away. And I wish I knew y’all in real life so I could call CPS and get her a GAL and attorney to protect her.

I’ve said at least 5 times that we are working on other options. No one is coercing anyone to do anything.

[Anonymous]

No, then she will have to tag divorce (and her family's stigmatizing story) on to her baggage (which is already too heavy for a young teen!).

I would try to appeal the judge's ruling maybe? Poor child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Again, the marriage idea was only for a paper marriage until she’s 18. That would allow her to stay with her mother, and not have to go to her father’s house. It’s perfectly legal, as long as she isn’t doing it for someone who needs a green card. Obviously, we wouldn’t do that.

We’re working on other ways to help her. She’s not being terribly cooperative, and we are all doing our best. This is a very difficult situation for everyone.

If she’s not being cooperative, maybe she perceives the situation differently than you do.

She’s resisting talking to an attorney or police, not the marriage idea.

why is she resisting talking to an attorney? talk does not obligate her to do anything.