My Son No longer Feels Safe at His High School with Weeks Left Until Graduation. Please HELP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - all DC schools are required to have bullying prevention policies in place and must complete an investigation when bullying is alleged. Write to the principal AND the charter head (executive director, CEO) AND also place a call to the public charter school board. If it is a small school and the principal is the executive director, then write to the charter school board chair. It's important that you use the word "bullying" and mention the police report.

The idea of taking your child for a doctor's excuse is a very good one especially if the trauma is causing him problems with attending school. Some charters don't want to mess up their in-seat attendance rate and that might be why they are not considering your request to have him do work from home.

In my experience, school staff is often rushed. They may not be considering all of the factors. They'll respond faster when you involve administrators higher up.

DC schools are required to have bullying prevention plans in place, but that does not mean they enforce them. Bullying has been rampant in the DC schools my child has attended. Administrators don't take it seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you’re almost 18 year old adult aged son is so terrified for his life at the prospect of being chased that you are attempting to involve police escorts and politicians in an attempt to protect him from an unknown threat? If he were over 18 (which maybe he is already) there would be nothing you could do anyways because it would be his issue to deal with as an adult. How in the world do you expect him to survive in college without police escorts or mommy and daddy showing up to defend him?

You are horrible. You sound like you don't have kids in DC public schools and have no idea how vicious kids can be. Also I don't know if OP's son is a POC, but it can be especially rough for black/Latino boys in DC publics.

Really? You think Black kids are more at risk? You don't think white kids in a prediminately black school, likely located in a rough neighborhood, have it rough? Are you in fantasy land? This is the reason why many families either avoid DC school like the plague, or they do everything in their power to avoid particular schools. I don't blame them at all.

I don't think you have any experience of this topic. Black kids are much more at risk. If you look at crime statistics, this is also true of adults -- being white makes you less likely to be a victim of crime.

I went to rough a rough, poor all white middle school. I fought almost daily and often carried a knife outside of school. Two guys who used to jump me for fun went to jail for manslaughter soon after high school graduation. My parents moved, and I went to a rough majority black high school. I was never once in a fight or bullied or threatened. It was like I was assumed to be an un-involved bystander in the fighting that went on, which I was happy to be.

My impression talking to parents at my kid's majority non-white high school is that parents of color have much more to be concerned about in terms of peer pressure and fighting than my white kid. He's assumed to be a bystander and, as he says, if he doesn't look for trouble he has none.

Well, you would be wrong. You have a very self serving interpretation of crime statistics, that not surprisingly, nobody has pointed out. Most white people don't live and/or associate with a significant number of black people, and therefore aren't victimized by them. Just because few white people are killed in SE DC doesn't mean that it's safe for White people. I can't believe that I had to explain this.

The idea that white people get a free pass by black people (especially kids) is a great dcum fairytale, but it's hardly what I experienced. And ditto for my friends and family. This was at a time when the crime rate was twice as high as it is today, and racial tension was high as well. There is a reason why everyone with a few bucks moved to the burbs.

Anyway, what school did this happen at? Will anyone on dcum volunteer to send their kids to this school?

That's actually quite true. While a majority of crime is between members of the same racial group, interracial crime is overwhelmingly black on white. In the instances where blacks and whites live/work together there's a significant amount of black on white crime. Based on population numbers and crime rates, blacks are 27 times more likely to attack a white than the other way around. In 2013 (last numbers I saw, Bureau of Justic Statistics) white violent offenders had black victims 4% of the time and black violent offenders had white victims 39% of the time.

Wait wait wait, obvious fallacy in your interpretation.

Let's just suppose that all criminals select their victims completely randomly out of the entire population of the US. If all the information you had was that 87% of the victims of crimes committed by blacks are white, and 13% of the victims of crimes committed by whites are black, it might look as if whites are targeted. You mention "instances where blacks and whites live/work together" is of no help because you aren't providing anything to relate those circumstances to your numbers.

The 4% / 39% comparison is the kind of thing people use in coded racism even when it really is not at all meaningful data without more information.

[Anonymous]

I don't know, I reread OPs original post and I would want to know more.

For instance, how long did it take for the admin to decide the theft accusation could not be supported? How long after that did OP's son get chased? If this all happened on the same day and there is no prior history of the other kid or his buddies having harassed, assaulted, or otherwise bullied OP's son or other kids, I would lean to the kid having been hot-headed and not yet ready to accept the school's decision. Also, not sure how the Metro people viewed the situation when they intervened and exactly how they intervened. Doesn't sound like they called police themselves.

I'd say, put together a plan for your son to start with, including Uber for the first few days, also try to make whatever arrangements NOT look like he's scared. No indication he was hassled at school already but he can be careful where and when he uses restrooms or other school facilities, keep to areas where there is better supervision--basically the school version of things a person should do when out and about in public at night, such as working late, to be safe. And cell phone on him (if the school has rules about no cell phones in class, either disregard the rule or inform the admin this is part of "toughing it out").

Odds are, unless there is more OP did not say, they took a shot and it didn't pan out and it's done. If ANYTHING happens, a shove, a whispered threat, whatever, inform the school you will be seeking a protective order which they will have to help enforce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op NEVER brought up ANYTHING about race. Very sad the conversation has devolved to this.

Op consider these options:

As a crime victim myself, I’d offer this as an opportunity to teach/reinforce some basic self-protection strategies. Your kid, in less than six months, will be on his own.

1. Get him the Uber/Lyft on the way home a few days per week
2. Consider writing him a pass for early dismissal (15 min before end of school day
3. Consider alternate routes home
4. Consider having him volunteer with a teacher/athletic team/after school club and leave later in the day

Has there been any mediation or restorative justice work done with the other kid who chased him? Any counselors/parents involved?

I know a young person, in DC, who was slain when visiting his mom in his old neighborhood YEARS later over some ridiculous perceived beef. Tragic. I would want this resolved. If I perceived a lingering threat, I would consider identity change/moving. These sociopathic young people have long memories and nothing better to do than screw up someone's life.

^ sorry for.my unclear wording. The beef was from his childhood. The predators hadn't forgotten and killed him as a young, visiting adult. I'm sorry to say but I'd get all the help I could, NOW.

[Anonymous]

I suggest setting your kid up with "google glass" hardware/glasses that will let him live record whatever is going on around him. As a result, you'll get audio and video recording of his abusers. That should be proof enough to expel the little d-bags.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
You aren't fooling anyone with your cherry picked academic research. You can bust out all the statistics you want, but it doesn't make it safe for a white kid (OP's kid?) to hang out in a predominantly AA area that has a significant crime problem. It's dangerous for anyone and should be avoided. And please stop with the poverty nonsense. Poor hispanic immigrants commit very few violent crimes. Do you really think poor Asians are killing each other like black people are in every major city? It's so absurd that it doesn't even really deserve a response. And the last paragraph is just Academics is important, but at a certain point you have to open your eyes to what is happening in the real world.

Yes, poor people of all races commit far more violent crime than wealthier people. As a group, Asians are less likely to be poor than whites, blacks or Latinos, but they do belong to street gangs in substantial numbers, and they do commit violent crime (https://www.criminaljusticedegreeschools.com/criminal-justice-resources/gang-directory/).

Among people in extreme poverty, whites, blacks, Latinos and Asians all commit crimes at several times the average, and in that order. In other words, extremely poor whites commit crimes at a slightly higher rate than extremely poor people of any other group.

[Anonymous]

In the DC area?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You aren't fooling anyone with your cherry picked academic research. You can bust out all the statistics you want, but it doesn't make it safe for a white kid (OP's kid?) to hang out in a predominantly AA area that has a significant crime problem. It's dangerous for anyone and should be avoided. And please stop with the poverty nonsense. Poor hispanic immigrants commit very few violent crimes. Do you really think poor Asians are killing each other like black people are in every major city? It's so absurd that it doesn't even really deserve a response. And the last paragraph is just Academics is important, but at a certain point you have to open your eyes to what is happening in the real world.

Yes, poor people of all races commit far more violent crime than wealthier people. As a group, Asians are less likely to be poor than whites, blacks or Latinos, but they do belong to street gangs in substantial numbers, and they do commit violent crime (https://www.criminaljusticedegreeschools.com/criminal-justice-resources/gang-directory/).

Among people in extreme poverty, whites, blacks, Latinos and Asians all commit crimes at several times the average, and in that order. In other words, extremely poor whites commit crimes at a slightly higher rate than extremely poor people of any other group.

OMFG you are killing me

Please tell me you don't teach this stuff. If you do, then I kind of understand. Reminds me of a college professor I had who was likely on anti-psychotic drugs, and another one who had a portion of his forehead missing (lobotomy?)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op NEVER brought up ANYTHING about race. Very sad the conversation has devolved to this.

Op consider these options:

As a crime victim myself, I’d offer this as an opportunity to teach/reinforce some basic self-protection strategies. Your kid, in less than six months, will be on his own.

1. Get him the Uber/Lyft on the way home a few days per week
2. Consider writing him a pass for early dismissal (15 min before end of school day
3. Consider alternate routes home
4. Consider having him volunteer with a teacher/athletic team/after school club and leave later in the day

Has there been any mediation or restorative justice work done with the other kid who chased him? Any counselors/parents involved?

Good advice, but its doubtful that the parents of criminals or gang members will care. They will also laugh at mediation and view it as weakness on the part of the victim. Is there any legal weapon that this kids can carry to school? These kids likely have guns.Even if he tries to avoid these kids, he might have to fight them.

[Anonymous]

Op, how are things going for you and your son? Hope he is doing well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - all DC schools are required to have bullying prevention policies in place and must complete an investigation when bullying is alleged. Write to the principal AND the charter head (executive director, CEO) AND also place a call to the public charter school board. If it is a small school and the principal is the executive director, then write to the charter school board chair. It's important that you use the word "bullying" and mention the police report.

The idea of taking your child for a doctor's excuse is a very good one especially if the trauma is causing him problems with attending school. Some charters don't want to mess up their in-seat attendance rate and that might be why they are not considering your request to have him do work from home.

In my experience, school staff is often rushed. They may not be considering all of the factors. They'll respond faster when you involve administrators higher up.

DC schools are required to have bullying prevention plans in place, but that does not mean they enforce them. Bullying has been rampant in the DC schools my child has attended. Administrators don't take it seriously.

Yes that can be true. But a charter Executive Director getting a written complaint about bullying that’s also gone to the charter board is going to have a different response than the principal. Unchecked bullying has had serious consequences in DC (including self-harm). The charter board has been heavily criticized on this and is paying attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You aren't fooling anyone with your cherry picked academic research. You can bust out all the statistics you want, but it doesn't make it safe for a white kid (OP's kid?) to hang out in a predominantly AA area that has a significant crime problem. It's dangerous for anyone and should be avoided. And please stop with the poverty nonsense. Poor hispanic immigrants commit very few violent crimes. Do you really think poor Asians are killing each other like black people are in every major city? It's so absurd that it doesn't even really deserve a response. And the last paragraph is just Academics is important, but at a certain point you have to open your eyes to what is happening in the real world.

Yes, poor people of all races commit far more violent crime than wealthier people. As a group, Asians are less likely to be poor than whites, blacks or Latinos, but they do belong to street gangs in substantial numbers, and they do commit violent crime (https://www.criminaljusticedegreeschools.com/criminal-justice-resources/gang-directory/).

Among people in extreme poverty, whites, blacks, Latinos and Asians all commit crimes at several times the average, and in that order. In other words, extremely poor whites commit crimes at a slightly higher rate than extremely poor people of any other group.

But DC doesn’t actually have poor white people...