Is admiring the vibe of private students a shallow motivation for sending our children to private?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, the extroverted, very socially-smooth kids are that way no matter what. You can tell as early as daycare/preschool.

THIS THIS THIS. These kids are 'cool' from the start (and often well-dressed, etc, so that comes from the family).

There's a kid like this in our in-home daycare. Always smiling, charming, all the slightly older kids and daycare staff are in love with him. Both parents usually pick him up and they're both highly charismatic people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, the extroverted, very socially-smooth kids are that way no matter what. You can tell as early as daycare/preschool.

THIS THIS THIS. These kids are 'cool' from the start (and often well-dressed, etc, so that comes from the family).

There's a kid like this in our in-home daycare. Always smiling, charming, all the slightly older kids and daycare staff are in love with him. Both parents usually pick him up and they're both highly charismatic people.

Interestingly I have noticed that it is not always the ‘cool’ parents they have the naturally popular kids (In preschool and early elementary). These kids just have ‘something.’ And they are always clean and well-dressed and usually athletic. Adults gravitate toward them also.

But some of you would like to believe you can buy that.

[Anonymous]

Wait, so in this pseudo-nature vs. nurture debate, nurture applies only when it comes from the parents, but not from the school that spends just as much (if not more) waking time per week with a child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait, so in this pseudo-nature vs. nurture debate, nurture applies only when it comes from the parents, but not from the school that spends just as much (if not more) waking time per week with a child?

Well the studies do say it's the kids' background that matters, not private v public.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/answer-sheet/wp/2018/07/26/no-private-schools-arent-better-at-educating-kids-than-public-schools-why-this-new-study-matters/?utm_term=.980c659df58c

The new study was conducted by Robert C. Pianta, dean of U-Va.’s Curry School of Education and a professor of education and psychology, and Arya Ansari, a postdoctoral research associate at U-Va.’s Center for Advanced Study for Teaching and Learning.

“You only need to control for family income and there’s no advantage,” Pianta said in an interview. “So when you first look, without controlling for anything, the kids who go to private schools are far and away outperforming the public school kids. And as soon as you control for family income and parents’ education level, that difference is eliminated completely.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait, so in this pseudo-nature vs. nurture debate, nurture applies only when it comes from the parents, but not from the school that spends just as much (if not more) waking time per week with a child?

Well the studies do say it's the kids' background that matters, not private v public.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/answer-sheet/wp/2018/07/26/no-private-schools-arent-better-at-educating-kids-than-public-schools-why-this-new-study-matters/?utm_term=.980c659df58c

The new study was conducted by Robert C. Pianta, dean of U-Va.’s Curry School of Education and a professor of education and psychology, and Arya Ansari, a postdoctoral research associate at U-Va.’s Center for Advanced Study for Teaching and Learning.

“You only need to control for family income and there’s no advantage,” Pianta said in an interview. “So when you first look, without controlling for anything, the kids who go to private schools are far and away outperforming the public school kids. And as soon as you control for family income and parents’ education level, that difference is eliminated completely.”

"Outperforming"? Most private parents -- and sensible parents in general -- do not give two sh*ts about an extra few points on a standardized test or soullessly grinding away in a few more AP courses. What we're talking about are soft skills and polish. Personality traits. Social IQ.

[Anonymous]

Our kids play travel sports, mix of public and private. There are a few really smart public schoolers but they're annoying as all hell. Maybe it's parents or maybe it's their schools, but they're just so abrasive and uncool; try-hards, as my kids say. The really smart private kids just seem to wear it better. It's very obvious side by side.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait, so in this pseudo-nature vs. nurture debate, nurture applies only when it comes from the parents, but not from the school that spends just as much (if not more) waking time per week with a child?

Well the studies do say it's the kids' background that matters, not private v public.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/answer-sheet/wp/2018/07/26/no-private-schools-arent-better-at-educating-kids-than-public-schools-why-this-new-study-matters/?utm_term=.980c659df58c

The new study was conducted by Robert C. Pianta, dean of U-Va.’s Curry School of Education and a professor of education and psychology, and Arya Ansari, a postdoctoral research associate at U-Va.’s Center for Advanced Study for Teaching and Learning.

“You only need to control for family income and there’s no advantage,” Pianta said in an interview. “So when you first look, without controlling for anything, the kids who go to private schools are far and away outperforming the public school kids. And as soon as you control for family income and parents’ education level, that difference is eliminated completely.”

"Outperforming"? Most private parents -- and sensible parents in general -- do not give two sh*ts about an extra few points on a standardized test or soullessly grinding away in a few more AP courses. What we're talking about are soft skills and polish. Personality traits. Social IQ.

That study followed kids through 9th grade, not beyond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our kids play travel sports, mix of public and private. There are a few really smart public schoolers but they're annoying as all hell. Maybe it's parents or maybe it's their schools, but they're just so abrasive and uncool; try-hards, as my kids say. The really smart private kids just seem to wear it better. It's very obvious side by side.

OMG you people are insufferable.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, the study being cited, while potentially interesting for other discussion topics, seems completely non-responsive to this thread specifically.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kids play travel sports, mix of public and private. There are a few really smart public schoolers but they're annoying as all hell. Maybe it's parents or maybe it's their schools, but they're just so abrasive and uncool; try-hards, as my kids say. The really smart private kids just seem to wear it better. It's very obvious side by side.

OMG you people are insufferable.

I truly wish this poster was joking, but I worry they aren't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kids play travel sports, mix of public and private. There are a few really smart public schoolers but they're annoying as all hell. Maybe it's parents or maybe it's their schools, but they're just so abrasive and uncool; try-hards, as my kids say. The really smart private kids just seem to wear it better. It's very obvious side by side.

OMG you people are insufferable.

I truly wish this poster was joking, but I worry they aren't.

You all are triggered because you're public parents and you know this is on the button. This is where the jealousy and animosity comes from; it's not about college placement, it's not about money, it's about polished confident private kids with superior social acuity intimidating you and your public school kin. And there's nothing you can teach them at home or life lessons you can provide to make up for not marinating in a private school atmosphere for four to 13 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kids play travel sports, mix of public and private. There are a few really smart public schoolers but they're annoying as all hell. Maybe it's parents or maybe it's their schools, but they're just so abrasive and uncool; try-hards, as my kids say. The really smart private kids just seem to wear it better. It's very obvious side by side.

OMG you people are insufferable.

I truly wish this poster was joking, but I worry they aren't.

You all are triggered because you're public parents and you know this is on the button. This is where the jealousy and animosity comes from; it's not about college placement, it's not about money, it's about polished confident private kids with superior social acuity intimidating you and your public school kin. And there's nothing you can teach them at home or life lessons you can provide to make up for not marinating in a private school atmosphere for four to 13 years.

You’re embarrassing yourself.

[Anonymous]

OMG, if I ponied up $100k to send my three young boys to private school, does that mean that they would stop telling poop jokes at the dinner table? Might be worth it!

[Anonymous]

It means the kids are "cool" and confident because their parents have lots of money. It's not anything the private school actually does for them. -a private school graduate who was "poor"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kids play travel sports, mix of public and private. There are a few really smart public schoolers but they're annoying as all hell. Maybe it's parents or maybe it's their schools, but they're just so abrasive and uncool; try-hards, as my kids say. The really smart private kids just seem to wear it better. It's very obvious side by side.

OMG you people are insufferable.

I truly wish this poster was joking, but I worry they aren't.

You all are triggered because you're public parents and you know this is on the button. This is where the jealousy and animosity comes from; it's not about college placement, it's not about money, it's about polished confident private kids with superior social acuity intimidating you and your public school kin. And there's nothing you can teach them at home or life lessons you can provide to make up for not marinating in a private school atmosphere for four to 13 years.

You’re embarrassing yourself.

Someone with such POLISHED kids would NEVER embarrass themselves! She’s INTIMIDATING you. Try to keep it straight.