I think we have been dropped from playgroup.

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:

OP here. Oddly, painting is something my child can do and does do calmly for a long period of time. Painting and coloring are the only things that she will sit for and she sits much longer than the other kids.

But she is aggressive and doesn't understand sharing or taking turns. I do work with her and I do clean up her messes (in reference to the beans comment above - I was right there and she is too fast for me).


Until the bolded part changes she will be shunned by nice organized playgroups in other peoples homes. The way to change it is for you to teach her day and night and give consequences for not complying.
If the host had time to reprimand your child several times, then you're just to slow to get off your a#$ and intervene, in which case - hover, don't sit down. Or get excluded.
Anonymous
I don't think the kid was the reason they were dropped...
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:How did you join this group, OP?


Why does it matter, PP? Are you the same PP who pointed out the obvious, which is that the host family appears to be higher income than the OP?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I don't think the kid was the reason they were dropped...


I do. Parents are very protective at that age and if there is a clueless parent who has not corrected this kind of behavior its kind of sayonara sweetheart.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't think the kid was the reason they were dropped...


I do. Parents are very protective at that age and if there is a clueless parent who has not corrected this kind of behavior its kind of sayonara sweetheart.

I think PP is saying that OP's personality may have been the reason they were dropped. I think the combo of that and her daughter's behavior likely contributed.
Anonymous
Op, stop defending your poor toddler to the shrewd on dcu’z in real life, none of these self righteous women are as thin, together or excellent at all things esp parenting as they purport to be on here. Look around. It’s mainly a bunch of ladies in capris with kids being difficult. Stop feeling is inadequate. There are play groups through the county. Free social skills classes sometimes at the YMCA. Story and play groups at the library. The jcc has great programs and camps. Soft play gyms at the city rev centers. Your daughter might love an art camp through the county rec groups. Start researching.
Anonymous
NP here. I think the host moved it because mornings are just so much better. I have an almost 2.5 year old and she naps after lunch. 11am is just way too early. 3-5pm is a horrible time as most ppl are getting ready for dinner. You should try to switch your child’s nap time, not necessary for this playgroup but eventually when she goes to school, they definitely do not take a nap at 11am.
Anonymous
Why not wait until next week to post this, OP?
Anonymous
lol “spirited child” lololol
Anonymous
It sounds like they've been wanting to get you to stop coming and the schedule change is a convenient and timely excuse. They are killing two birds with one stone--moving the playgroup to a better time for most and also not having to deal with you/your kid. Knowing how your kid is, you need to be right on top of her to not allow these things to happen. It sounds like you're sitting around and reacting (e.g. not able to get to her in time, cleaning up the mess afterwards etc) instead of being proactive.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:lol “spirited child” lololol


No one uses "lol" anymore, Grandma, much less "lololol".
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:It sounds like they've been wanting to get you to stop coming and the schedule change is a convenient and timely excuse. They are killing two birds with one stone--moving the playgroup to a better time for most and also not having to deal with you/your kid. Knowing how your kid is, you need to be right on top of her to not allow these things to happen. It sounds like you're sitting around and reacting (e.g. not able to get to her in time, cleaning up the mess afterwards etc) instead of being proactive.


Yeah, this part is obvious to all of us. And everyone said it in OP's other thread too, where she had a feeling they weren't keen about her kid and the way she was (not) parenting but they hadn't yet been kicked out.

The core issue that came out in the other thread (at least to me) was that the other parents were able to sit around and relax and chat to each other, since their kids knew how to behave. They'd intervene very occasionally but mostly their kids could play appropriately with each other and with the play things. So OP sees them doing this and thinks that she's entitled to sit around and relax and chat too. She doesn't get it that she can't do that... and especially not in someone else's home and playgroup where she's really just coming along for the free ride without offering anything in return.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:lol “spirited child” lololol


No one uses "lol" anymore, Grandma, much less "lololol".


Oh shut up. I'm a millennial and we absolutely do still use it ironically.
Anonymous
Op there's several things going on here:

1. The old 3-5 time for playgroup is STUPID. It's too late in the day, runs into dinner prep time and rush hour traffic. She's a newbie playgroup mom and probably finally figured that out and changed it.

2. Every playgroup my kids were ever in was from 10-12 or something similar so they would play them go home an eat lunch and nap. That is the typical playgroup time that works best for toddler schedules. Your DD has a weird naptime so she misses out.

3. Her nap is way too early and that's probably why she's a nightmare in the afternoons. You need to be putting her down from like 1-3, not 11 am. That leaves way too long of an afternoon stretch for her to keep it together.

4. If you don't get on top of her aggression and difficult behavior, she will eventually be shunned by the kids themselves, not just their moms. Get some help to work on that before preschool. It's in her own best interest.

5. Finally, even if you live in a condo, invite people for 1:1 play dates (she honestly may do better with these) or an outside location that you suggest to everyone and plan and bring snacks for. In playgroups, you don't HAVE to host at your house if you don't have the space, but you do have to take your turn hosting. Every playgroup my kids were ever in hated that one parent who came to everyone else's house to eat and make a mess but never ever ever hosted herself. It's rude.
Anonymous
Can anyone point me to the previous thread? Thanks in advance.
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