Shooting in Reston

[Anonymous]

Which school did they go to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The parents instincts about the boy were correct.

If their daughter had believed them, they would be alive.

That's not necessarily true. Unhinged people are at their most dangerous when they are either rejected or restrained from the object of their affection(s)

[Anonymous]

There are some privates in VA that take kids with emotional problems, etc. Probably one of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I can't believe the posts here downplaying the boy's deranged beliefs or suggesting that the Post reported it "without collaboration." (Do you mean confirmation, PP??)

And btw they do have confirmation, from friends of the murdered parents, that makes a strong case that the parents had legitimate concerns that this boy was indoctrinating their daughter into horrifying beliefs. Read the story, you morons.

We did read the story. The "evidence" the mother pointed to were from posts made under an assumed name, which she assumed were the boyfriend. She was concerned because the daughter and boy spent hours on the phone (the mother thought he was trying to indoctrinate her, but there is zero proof of that). Let's just not make assumptions until the facts are known.

what difference does it make whether or not this boy was a neo nazi or the original author of the posts in question that upset the parents? He snuck out of his house, broke into her house, in the middle of the night, brought a gun, and MURDERED both of her parents. Regardless of whether he was a nazi sympathizer or Richard Spencer wanna be, he brought that gun and he killed two people with it. So that alone makes him a pretty horrible person, one that no parent would want their daughter dating.

Posters like the one above, the one saying "let's not make assumptions" are the kind of people saying the same thing after Heather Hayes was killed in Charlottesville. How do you look at yourself in the mirror and believe the bologna that comes out of your mouth? He killed those people. Killed them.

Not the PP. Yes, he did. And the guy who killed Hayes in Charlottesville had a history of medicated mental illness and had beat up his mother. Whether or not EITHER guy espoused Nazi beliefs is only relevant, when you look at the mother's motivation for getting rid of him. She decided to use her social justice card and raise a HUGE stink, notifying the school, calling his parents, etc. She poked a hornet's nest that got her killed, along with her husband.

I have a close friend that has always been somewhat narcissistic, but now has elevated that to a level where I can see it clouding her judgment. As a result, I keep my distance but NEVER poke that hornet's nest. It's VERY important when dealing with malignant personalities to ensure that THEY walk from YOU.

On the one hand, you’ve got a point, op. Perhaps if she had handled it differently they’d be alive today. On the other hand, sounds too much like you’re blaming the victim. So the mom should have known she was dealing with a murderer? Really?

How should a parent have handled it differently? As a parent, what do you do when your child starts expressing beliefs that your family doesn't share, especially when those beliefs can be dangerous?

PP who said that the poster had a point here. Having read The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker, I now realize that obsessed people don't go away when you give them negative attention such as restraining orders. You have to be careful how you withdraw from a relationship like that. I would hope that if that happened to my kid I would have recognized that this kid wasn't just a Nazi but someone who was also deeply disturbed and would have handled it differently from that mom. But give her a break! Maybe it wasn't apparent. She certainly thought she was doing the right thing. I think some of the posters who said she should have handled it differently are using a tone that runs over into blaming the victim. Remember, we all want to believe that we'd do something differently and that that wouldn't happen to us. But mostly we don't know for sure that we'd do anything differently and we don't know for sure if the outcome would have been different. My heart goes out to both families. I hope the murderer survives and goes away to prison for a long, long time. But mostly I hope I remember this story and remain vigilant for these warning signs in the future.

[Anonymous]

I wonder what the biological father knew about the relationship and I wonder if the girl will now go live with him.

[Anonymous]

I wonder what the biological father knew about the relationship and I wonder if the girl will now go live with him.

Yes, there is a much more complex picture here. Since the murderer lives in Lorton, it is unclear where they would have been going to private school together. We also do not know where the biological father lived and whether the daughter spent time living with him (during the week for example). Lots of things were likely. It does appear that the mother tried to communicate with the school. By all appearances this was a family who were involved and cared for their children. So sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe the posts here downplaying the boy's deranged beliefs or suggesting that the Post reported it "without collaboration." (Do you mean confirmation, PP??)

And btw they do have confirmation, from friends of the murdered parents, that makes a strong case that the parents had legitimate concerns that this boy was indoctrinating their daughter into horrifying beliefs. Read the story, you morons.

We did read the story. The "evidence" the mother pointed to were from posts made under an assumed name, which she assumed were the boyfriend. She was concerned because the daughter and boy spent hours on the phone (the mother thought he was trying to indoctrinate her, but there is zero proof of that). Let's just not make assumptions until the facts are known.

what difference does it make whether or not this boy was a neo nazi or the original author of the posts in question that upset the parents? He snuck out of his house, broke into her house, in the middle of the night, brought a gun, and MURDERED both of her parents. Regardless of whether he was a nazi sympathizer or Richard Spencer wanna be, he brought that gun and he killed two people with it. So that alone makes him a pretty horrible person, one that no parent would want their daughter dating.

Posters like the one above, the one saying "let's not make assumptions" are the kind of people saying the same thing after Heather Hayes was killed in Charlottesville. How do you look at yourself in the mirror and believe the bologna that comes out of your mouth? He killed those people. Killed them.

Not the PP. Yes, he did. And the guy who killed Hayes in Charlottesville had a history of medicated mental illness and had beat up his mother. Whether or not EITHER guy espoused Nazi beliefs is only relevant, when you look at the mother's motivation for getting rid of him. She decided to use her social justice card and raise a HUGE stink, notifying the school, calling his parents, etc. She poked a hornet's nest that got her killed, along with her husband.

I have a close friend that has always been somewhat narcissistic, but now has elevated that to a level where I can see it clouding her judgment. As a result, I keep my distance but NEVER poke that hornet's nest. It's VERY important when dealing with malignant personalities to ensure that THEY walk from YOU.

On the one hand, you’ve got a point, op. Perhaps if she had handled it differently they’d be alive today. On the other hand, sounds too much like you’re blaming the victim. So the mom should have known she was dealing with a murderer? Really?

How should a parent have handled it differently? As a parent, what do you do when your child starts expressing beliefs that your family doesn't share, especially when those beliefs can be dangerous?

PP who said that the poster had a point here. Having read The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker, I now realize that obsessed people don't go away when you give them negative attention such as restraining orders. You have to be careful how you withdraw from a relationship like that. I would hope that if that happened to my kid I would have recognized that this kid wasn't just a Nazi but someone who was also deeply disturbed and would have handled it differently from that mom. But give her a break! Maybe it wasn't apparent. She certainly thought she was doing the right thing. I think some of the posters who said she should have handled it differently are using a tone that runs over into blaming the victim. Remember, we all want to believe that we'd do something differently and that that wouldn't happen to us. But mostly we don't know for sure that we'd do anything differently and we don't know for sure if the outcome would have been different. My heart goes out to both families. I hope the murderer survives and goes away to prison for a long, long time. But mostly I hope I remember this story and remain vigilant for these warning signs in the future.

I'm very familiar with Gavin de Becker's work (I've read both The Gift of Fear and Protecting the Gift), and I do agree that the mother handled this situation in the exact wrong way. If anyone wants an understanding of just how wrong this situation was handled, please read those books. HOWEVER, that is not to say that it was the mother's "fault" that she and her husband were killed. The murderer was responsible for his own actions. Buckley should have mitigated the situation instead of playing social justice warrior and repeatedly poking a hornets nest. De Becker would have told Buckley that she needs to take a deep breath, and put aside her desire to be seen by her circle as a social justice warrior. Imagine how embarrassed Buckley must have been - it is almost like she was trying to save face by emailing the cast of thousands about the boy and roping other family members into an intervention. De Becker would have told her to realize she's dealing with a possibly violent wildcard, and to quit poking the hornets nest. Buckley exhibited a poor understanding of both the psychology of teenage rebellion and the psychology of nut bags. However, many people don't understand those things and it doesn't get them murdered. in cold blood, in their home, at a holiday party Imagine how much the daughter must have absolutely hated her mother for her to date a guy who was basically the antithesis of her mother's public persona. There was a lot going on here, including a remarriage and (by all accounts, based on the daughter's last name) a perhaps uninvolved biofather. It is for those reason that I'll be interested to see whether the girl was involved in the murder. The boyfriend could have gotten overwhelmed in the moment and shot himself.

[Anonymous]

I'm pretty anti gun, but I'm not sure any gun control measures I am aware of would have stopped this.

It was probably a legally owned firearm in his home. Not sure how you restrict that access.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm pretty anti gun, but I'm not sure any gun control measures I am aware of would have stopped this.

It was probably a legally owned firearm in his home. Not sure how you restrict that access.

Require gun owners who have holster 18 and under in their household keep guns locked in secured gun safes or locked containers. Some require a digital code or finger prints to unlock. Was this gun locked?

[Anonymous]

I assume the boy got the gun from his parent's (without their permission) and didn't purchase? If so, are the parents liable at all? Do we know they even got it legally?

Why no statement from the parents. Isn't there usually something from the parents like "This isn't the child we knew. Our hears break for the victims and we are devastated." Nada.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hope the poor little boy gets his dog back. The rest of his family is gone.

i know I hope so too. He needs the love of that dog right now and the dog must be so frightened right now too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope the poor little boy gets his dog back. The rest of his family is gone.

i know I hope so too. He needs the love of that dog right now and the dog must be so frightened right now too.

I can't stop thinking about the poor little boy. A week ago he was excited about the upcoming Christmas day, and all his family gathering together to spend the holiday. Last night he went to sleep with his world shattered, heart devastated. I am absolutely sick about this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I assume the boy got the gun from his parent's (without their permission) and didn't purchase? If so, are the parents liable at all? Do we know they even got it legally?

Why no statement from the parents. Isn't there usually something from the parents like "This isn't the child we knew. Our hears break for the victims and we are devastated." Nada.

Hopefully—for them—they have a very competent attorney who has told them to STFU.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope the poor little boy gets his dog back. The rest of his family is gone.

i know I hope so too. He needs the love of that dog right now and the dog must be so frightened right now too.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I assume the boy got the gun from his parent's (without their permission) and didn't purchase? If so, are the parents liable at all? Do we know they even got it legally?

Why no statement from the parents. Isn't there usually something from the parents like "This isn't the child we knew. Our hears break for the victims and we are devastated." Nada.

You would think, right? Except the NRA has gone balls to the wall to make sure no one is ever held liable for gun violence ever, under any circumstances, no matter how careless.