SIL does not like our potluck Christmas plans

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know why SIL is acting like this. We are not friends and have had prior disagreements but she has never been this outright rude. I know she loves my house and has a thing for formal dinners. I was thinking instead of bringing out the china this year we should just use paper plates and plastic cutlery. Make it a true potluck. lol

Really you don't know? I bet SIL has a completely different story to tell. I also bet you are one of those sisters DCUM wives complain about their husband's having.

No one decent actually writes that email.

I think the SIL is annoyed/jealous that too many domestic things run around OPs house. I mean the SIL’s husband picked his sisters house to host another Christmas, not his own. SIL probably feels like It’s unfair OP gets to host AND doesn’t make all dishes. What did she say? “if I were hosting . . . “

[Anonymous]

OP, can you pick up a Ham and/or turkey, and have everyone bring a side, dessert, bread or drink? As the host, I do think you should at the bare minimum provide a major meat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know why SIL is acting like this. We are not friends and have had prior disagreements but she has never been this outright rude. I know she loves my house and has a thing for formal dinners. I was thinking instead of bringing out the china this year we should just use paper plates and plastic cutlery. Make it a true potluck. lol

Really you don't know? I bet SIL has a completely different story to tell. I also bet you are one of those sisters DCUM wives complain about their husband's having.

No one decent actually writes that email.

I think the SIL is annoyed/jealous that too many domestic things run around OPs house. I mean the SIL’s husband picked his sisters house to host another Christmas, not his own. SIL probably feels like It’s unfair OP gets to host AND doesn’t make all dishes. What did she say? “if I were hosting . . . “

Sounds like she could have offered to host when the planning happened over the summer.

[Anonymous]

I would ignore her email. Write a new one and ask her to please bring paper plates and plastic silverware to complete potluck dinner and make cleanup easier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would ignore her email. Write a new one and ask her to please bring paper plates and plastic silverware to complete potluck dinner and make cleanup easier.

NP. That's pretty funny!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would ignore her email. Write a new one and ask her to please bring paper plates and plastic silverware to complete potluck dinner and make cleanup easier.

NP. That's pretty funny!

Ha! "And, if you don't mind, could you stop by Party City and grab a tablecloth-either paper or plastic is totally fine-I saw some super cute ones with Christmas trees! Thanks so much for all your help, can't wait to see you!!!

[Anonymous]

We go out for Chinese food! But half of us are Jewish?

[Anonymous]

Ummm ignore!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My family doesn't do passive aggressive, we do aggressive-aggressive, let me tell you all the ways in which you suck at life come to jesus moments if someone is being an enormous asshat. With that in mind, I would respond with "This was discussed and agreed to back in the summer with your husband being the main proponent. If you had an issue with the plan, you should have brought it up with him, not me. I suggest you do so now as we'll be proceeding with the potluck as planned and agreed to." And cc your brother (I'm assuming this is his wife since you included the detail that he was the main champion of the plan).

Perfect response

+1. The other responses are tempting, but why not be direct? I wouldn't even consider this response"aggressive."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would ignore her email. Write a new one and ask her to please bring paper plates and plastic silverware to complete potluck dinner and make cleanup easier.

NP. That's pretty funny!

Ha! "And, if you don't mind, could you stop by Party City and grab a tablecloth-either paper or plastic is totally fine-I saw some super cute ones with Christmas trees! Thanks so much for all your help, can't wait to see you!!!

HA!

[Anonymous]

So what happened OP? Did your brother handle is well and are they coming with their assigned dishes??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have hosted Christmas the last 5 years in a row. I would get some help but I did the bulk of the cooking. We talked about Christmas at a family gathering in July. I explained that I really did not want to host this year and wanted a break from cooking. My family went on especially my brother about how it was a tradition to have the holiday at my house and they would all help with the cooking. They were like just tell us what to bring and we will bring it. This was discussed in front of everyone and they shook their head yes they would each bring a dish. I started coordinating everything this week. I meant it when I said I did not want to cook. I am making the mashed potatoes and making my house available. That's it. I made a facebook invite and I went and assigned dishes for everyone to bring. Almost everyone was so positive and saying how much they were looking forward to xmas. I got a message from my SIL.

She wrote

You have hosted very formal Christmas dinners in the past and I have always enjoyed them. I am sad you decided to host this informal potluck Christmas. If I were hosting I would still make the core dinner items such as the ham, turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes and gravy, etc. You are still hosting the event and I don't think it's in very good taste to ask your guests to bring the main courses.

How do I respond to this?! I am livid right now!!

I'd be tempted to respond by including all the other relatives and saying "Change of plans! Mary's volunteered to host. She'll be bringing the ham, turkey . . . . I'll take care of the broccoli!"

[Anonymous]

Update, OP? What did you decide to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Update, OP? What did you decide to do?

Op's update from 3 days ago on page 4

quote=Anonymous]OP here,

Thank you for your responses. I was so upset last night I really wanted to put her on blast. I took a screenshot of her message and texted it to my brother/her husband. I told him he needed to handle it before I said something I would regret. What I really wanted to do was screen shot the message and post it on FB for everyone in the group to see. For my brothers sake I won't. He responded right away and said how sorry he was and that SIL was totally out of line and he would handle it. I responded that I did not want to hear one word out of her mouth unless it was an apology. He replied that he does not know what has gotten into her but he will make sure I don't have to deal with her. I am more than ok with that.

For the record back in July I could not have made it more clear I would not be responsible for the cooking. There was no room for misunderstanding. Everyone shook their head in agreement. There have been no complaints from anyone else. My sister offered to make the turkey and gravy. I assigned my dad to make the ham and brother to bring the pies. He could get them frozen from the grocery store for all I care. It's not like SIL is being put out and has to slave over a hot stove for 2 days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Update, OP? What did you decide to do?

Op's update from 3 days ago on page 4

quote=Anonymous]OP here,

Thank you for your responses. I was so upset last night I really wanted to put her on blast. I took a screenshot of her message and texted it to my brother/her husband. I told him he needed to handle it before I said something I would regret. What I really wanted to do was screen shot the message and post it on FB for everyone in the group to see. For my brothers sake I won't. He responded right away and said how sorry he was and that SIL was totally out of line and he would handle it. I responded that I did not want to hear one word out of her mouth unless it was an apology. He replied that he does not know what has gotten into her but he will make sure I don't have to deal with her. I am more than ok with that.

For the record back in July I could not have made it more clear I would not be responsible for the cooking. There was no room for misunderstanding. Everyone shook their head in agreement. There have been no complaints from anyone else. My sister offered to make the turkey and gravy. I assigned my dad to make the ham and brother to bring the pies. He could get them frozen from the grocery store for all I care. It's not like SIL is being put out and has to slave over a hot stove for 2 days.

Ah, thanks. I got hooked too many pages into this. I hope the sister-in-law did apologize!