Do you think it's appropriate to invite a married person to a wedding without their spouse?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, two PPs above, take it to another post and let's work on figuring this OP's issue out.

Another vote for totally inappropriate here.

So, OP, please answer this:
1) have you offended your DH's friend, or his mother?
2) Do you get drunk or get in arguments at public appearances?
3) Have you done something like cheat on your DH, or be abusive to DH--something that would make his friend not like you?

1) No and no, I haven't even met his mother.
2) No
3) I haven't cheated, but DH has.

It is SO inappropriate to *not* invite a spouse to a wedding that I suspect your DH is lying to you. His side gig will probably be attending and he wants to hook up.

[Anonymous]

PP here who said inappropriate but maybe not totally husband's fault.

After OP's latest responses (I KNEW there was more to the story, somehow), my guess is that either the former AP will be at the wedding, or DH's friends all knew about it, or met her and liked her, and DH and the friend getting married thought it would be better if OP didn't attend because people might talk/ask/whatever about AP.

[Anonymous]

So let me see if I have read all the posts correctly,

1. The groom to be is the best friend of the DH, BUT DH has not ever met the bride to be.

2. OP has never met the bride to be and has never met the groom

3. So how well does the OP and her DH even know this couple?

My theory, the OP is also the OP of the thread about her "finance" and father of her baby wanting to take a bike riding trip with his ex, who also has a sperm donor baby who will be watched by the fiance's mother. Both set of facts are looney tunes.

[Anonymous]

OP, the fact that DH cheated...
Is there a chance that he's lying about you not being invited? Like did you see the actual invitation?

Is there a chance that when he cheated, and there was obvious 'troubles', he blamed you, when his friends/family asked? And now they don't like you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, two PPs above, take it to another post and let's work on figuring this OP's issue out.

Another vote for totally inappropriate here.

So, OP, please answer this:
1) have you offended your DH's friend, or his mother?
2) Do you get drunk or get in arguments at public appearances?
3) Have you done something like cheat on your DH, or be abusive to DH--something that would make his friend not like you?

1) No and no, I haven't even met his mother.
2) No
3) I haven't cheated, but DH has.

It is SO inappropriate to *not* invite a spouse to a wedding that I suspect your DH is lying to you. His side gig will probably be attending and he wants to hook up.

That is exactly what I thought.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hubby knew it was going to happen and didn't intervene before it was done? Then I personally think close friend is inviting hubbys old girlfriend hoping to get them together. And hubby was ok with that. It is a plausible explanation for a very obviou social faux pas.

It is cheater's behavior is what is is. Whether it is an old flame or new. Skip the conversation OP about the groom, and just speak directly to hubby about what is up. He might be young enough to try and get away with it, but I am old enough to see right through it. Good for you for asking. If he goes without you, you can show up to hand him the business card of a lawyer for the separation agreement. And where your best part dress and smile when you do.

But in all seriousness, try to stop the infidelity before it happens, even if it is just emotional infidelity. Have a blunt calm honest talk and if he is a man, you can reach the point where, "even if I don't deserve your love, I do deserve your honesty".

[Anonymous]

Party dress

[Anonymous]

Ok this is what I think it is. agree with PP, cheating behavior. Groom might be wingman.

AP may be there, and groom doesn't want a scene at his wedding.

OR, OP, you ARE invited but you just don't know it, and your DH is telling you that you are not--so he can have a good time and AP is there. Or just wants to scope out women.

[Anonymous]

How long have you been married? How long has the friend been dating his fiancé? Does the friend live locally or is the wedding just local?

It seems strange that you have no relationship with your DH's best friend and you have never met the fiancé.

I don't know all of DH's friends well but I have met everyone and their wives at least a few times. We live in a different state.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How long have you been married? How long has the friend been dating his fiancé? Does the friend live locally or is the wedding just local?

It seems strange that you have no relationship with your DH's best friend and you have never met the fiancé.

I don't know all of DH's friends well but I have met everyone and their wives at least a few times. We live in a different state.

Just wanted to add that DH would meet up with his friends solo but mostly because I was pregnant and/or had a young child. Now if his friends are in town, we get a sitter and do a double date.

[Anonymous]

more questions OP.

who did DH cheat with and when? how long ago? how have you two dealt with it?
how long have you been married?
did friend attend your wedding?
is this friend part of a bigger group of friends that DH knows/is part of?
what does the wedding venue tell you about size, etc.

this whole thing is extremely strange and rude. something is up. do you trust your DH? how is he responding? My spouse would be so offended for me that he would not go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, the fact that DH cheated...
Is there a chance that he's lying about you not being invited? Like did you see the actual invitation?

Is there a chance that when he cheated, and there was obvious 'troubles', he blamed you, when his friends/family asked? And now they don't like you?

I saw the invitation.

It's a chance, but I have no clue what he told his friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:more questions OP.

who did DH cheat with and when? how long ago? how have you two dealt with it?
how long have you been married?
did friend attend your wedding?
is this friend part of a bigger group of friends that DH knows/is part of?
what does the wedding venue tell you about size, etc.

this whole thing is extremely strange and rude. something is up. do you trust your DH? how is he responding? My spouse would be so offended for me that he would not go.

A coworker, for about a year, we're still going to counseling.
5 years.
Yes.
Yes.
The venue sounds like it's at someone's house. I'm not sure how big the house is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How long have you been married? How long has the friend been dating his fiancé? Does the friend live locally or is the wedding just local?

It seems strange that you have no relationship with your DH's best friend and you have never met the fiancé.

I don't know all of DH's friends well but I have met everyone and their wives at least a few times. We live in a different state.

I've met him a few times, but we're not close. Do you find it strange that DH hasn't met his fiancée?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, two PPs above, take it to another post and let's work on figuring this OP's issue out.

Another vote for totally inappropriate here.

So, OP, please answer this:
1) have you offended your DH's friend, or his mother?
2) Do you get drunk or get in arguments at public appearances?
3) Have you done something like cheat on your DH, or be abusive to DH--something that would make his friend not like you?

1) No and no, I haven't even met his mother.
2) No
3) I haven't cheated, but DH has.

Ugh, OP. Your husband sounds like a jerk. Are you saying you haven't met your husband's mom, or the best friend's mom?

Sounds like DH wants to go with his AP.