s/o - feeling "poor" at these ludicrously high incomes. what are they actually missing?

[Anonymous]

As for $700k house? That is disingenuous: housing costs have far out stripped income, so $700k gets you middle class housing if you want ok schools and not extreme commute. It's not like it can buy you a mansion on an acre unless you are in WV. Median sale price for Fairfax is $500k and that includes condos/townhouses.

Housing is the real problem here; prices way out of whack with incomes.


This. If it weren't for the insane housing costs, we'd be very comfortable. Who would have dreamed that you'd have to spend 800k+ to get a fixer-upper with okay commutes (7 miles for me, 15 miles for DH). If we didn't live relatively close in, we'd never see our kids. And getting them into excellent public schools was a priority as well. So, yes, dismiss us as materialistic or whatever, but we are stretched and tired all the time and dreaming of living elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As for $700k house? That is disingenuous: housing costs have far out stripped income, so $700k gets you middle class housing if you want ok schools and not extreme commute. It's not like it can buy you a mansion on an acre unless you are in WV. Median sale price for Fairfax is $500k and that includes condos/townhouses.

Housing is the real problem here; prices way out of whack with incomes.

This. If it weren't for the insane housing costs, we'd be very comfortable. Who would have dreamed that you'd have to spend 800k+ to get a fixer-upper with okay commutes (7 miles for me, 15 miles for DH). If we didn't live relatively close in, we'd never see our kids. And getting them into excellent public schools was a priority as well. So, yes, dismiss us as materialistic or whatever, but we are stretched and tired all the time and dreaming of living elsewhere.

You just don't get it. You are only stretched because you are prioritizing an updated SFH in an expensive area. There are absolutely town homes and condos in the best school districts under 800,000. There are even houses. You will be much happier if you focus on what you have, rather than what you don't have.

[Anonymous]

Ok. I read these posts and cringe. my HHI income is 1/2 of that. We are quite comfortable. Small house in a good suburb, 1800 sq ft on 0.25 acres, GS ranking 9/9/8. Kid in public.

Now, DW is SAH, so we have never had childcare expenses.

I have managed to save some cash: net worth is about 1.1 mil. (no inheritance).

It is all expectations. We do not consider the big international vacations. Private schools? Eh, in Vienna, I don't need them.

Cars, well my 6 yo subie runs fine.

Now, granted I have lived here since '99, but HHI was 80K then, and we were doing fine.

[Anonymous]

PP here. The big thing is I do not compare myself to the friends/neighbors with much bigger HHI's. There will always be someone richer than you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As for $700k house? That is disingenuous: housing costs have far out stripped income, so $700k gets you middle class housing if you want ok schools and not extreme commute. It's not like it can buy you a mansion on an acre unless you are in WV. Median sale price for Fairfax is $500k and that includes condos/townhouses.

Housing is the real problem here; prices way out of whack with incomes.

This. If it weren't for the insane housing costs, we'd be very comfortable. Who would have dreamed that you'd have to spend 800k+ to get a fixer-upper with okay commutes (7 miles for me, 15 miles for DH). If we didn't live relatively close in, we'd never see our kids. And getting them into excellent public schools was a priority as well. So, yes, dismiss us as materialistic or whatever, but we are stretched and tired all the time and dreaming of living elsewhere.

You just don't get it. You are only stretched because you are prioritizing an updated SFH in an expensive area. There are absolutely town homes and condos in the best school districts under 800,000. There are even houses. You will be much happier if you focus on what you have, rather than what you don't have.



I do get it. My house has no updates, zero, and we drive old cars and have taken one modest local vacation in five years. We were willing to sacrifice to have okay (not great) commutes and excellent schools. But that costs $$$. Anyone who didn't buy more than five years ago is pretty much screwed, housing costs are so insane now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As for $700k house? That is disingenuous: housing costs have far out stripped income, so $700k gets you middle class housing if you want ok schools and not extreme commute. It's not like it can buy you a mansion on an acre unless you are in WV. Median sale price for Fairfax is $500k and that includes condos/townhouses.

Housing is the real problem here; prices way out of whack with incomes.

This. If it weren't for the insane housing costs, we'd be very comfortable. Who would have dreamed that you'd have to spend 800k+ to get a fixer-upper with okay commutes (7 miles for me, 15 miles for DH). If we didn't live relatively close in, we'd never see our kids. And getting them into excellent public schools was a priority as well. So, yes, dismiss us as materialistic or whatever, but we are stretched and tired all the time and dreaming of living elsewhere.

You just don't get it. You are only stretched because you are prioritizing an updated SFH in an expensive area. There are absolutely town homes and condos in the best school districts under 800,000. There are even houses. You will be much happier if you focus on what you have, rather than what you don't have.

It is extremely difficult to buy anything in Arlington for less than $400K now, even a 2-bedroom townhouse in south Arlington is $450 or $500K.

It's not unreasonable to say that owning a modest SFH on a small lot puts you out of touch with the middle class just because land values where you live have escalated so much. Most of my friends from high school have twice the house I do and probably half the income. I don't see why that makes *me* out of touch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think people go to school and get advanced degrees to attain higher incomes. They measure success against their high achieving cohorts, so that then becomes a problem.

"Am I a successful doctor / lawyer if I only earn $150k?"

To the rest of us, of course $150k is doing well, but for that person who knows many people who went to the same schools and earned the same degree who earn $400k, it seems tragic.

When people imagine earning a good living, they incorrectly believe that money earns them freedom. Often times, high earners believe they should have a certain type of lifestyle, which only shackles them into longer hours and less free time.

This. So this.

Before I got my mba I made $90K and I was fine with it. I didn't care. It was a decent salary.

Post mba, I made $150 my first year. It was low, but it was good enough.
My second year I made $260 due to some good luck on bonuses and I felt like I was killing it.
Third year I dropped to $170 and felt behind. My friends were hitting $200, $250.
Fourth year I hit $200, but my friends hit $300.
When I hit $350, I thought "hey that's not too bad". Of course by then, some of my friends were pushing $700.

It took a lot of time to "reset" my world view and realize how warped it is.

[Anonymous]

I'm at a HHI of 500k and many people I hang out with are similar. I've never felt poor and nobody I know runs around saying they feel poor.

I think there is a very small minority of people on the Internet who say this, but IRL people like myself feel very well to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As for $700k house? That is disingenuous: housing costs have far out stripped income, so $700k gets you middle class housing if you want ok schools and not extreme commute. It's not like it can buy you a mansion on an acre unless you are in WV. Median sale price for Fairfax is $500k and that includes condos/townhouses.

Housing is the real problem here; prices way out of whack with incomes.

This. If it weren't for the insane housing costs, we'd be very comfortable. Who would have dreamed that you'd have to spend 800k+ to get a fixer-upper with okay commutes (7 miles for me, 15 miles for DH). If we didn't live relatively close in, we'd never see our kids. And getting them into excellent public schools was a priority as well. So, yes, dismiss us as materialistic or whatever, but we are stretched and tired all the time and dreaming of living elsewhere.

Housing costs really aren't insane. If you moved to a more expensive city you would realize that. Many couples in their 40s are making 125-150k each. So 300khhi. Makes sense that homes are around a million.

[Anonymous]

I'm LoLing at some of this post. Disney is SO middle class. You know what isn't? Going to the Maldives, the Seychelles, Mauritius. Some chic resort in Thailand. A private island in the Caribbean. Skiing in Jackson Hole or Aspen or the Swiss Alps. Taking the whole family on safari to Africa. It doesn't get more middle class America than Disney.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok. I read these posts and cringe. my HHI income is 1/2 of that. We are quite comfortable. Small house in a good suburb, 1800 sq ft on 0.25 acres, GS ranking 9/9/8. Kid in public.

Now, DW is SAH, so we have never had childcare expenses.

I have managed to save some cash: net worth is about 1.1 mil. (no inheritance).

It is all expectations. We do not consider the big international vacations. Private schools? Eh, in Vienna, I don't need them.

Cars, well my 6 yo subie runs fine.

Now, granted I have lived here since '99, but HHI was 80K then, and we were doing fine.

What is hard to understand about this equation? You said yourself big international vacations are out of the question for you. So: not rich or even approaching it.

[Anonymous]

I think maybe some people are mixing up "middle income" (which is more clearly defined) with "middle class" (lifestyle, perspective, expectations). You can lead a very "middle class" life with a high income in a high COL area. Don't get stuck on the #s.

http://money.cnn.com/infographic/economy/what-is-middle-class-anyway/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok. I read these posts and cringe. my HHI income is 1/2 of that. We are quite comfortable. Small house in a good suburb, 1800 sq ft on 0.25 acres, GS ranking 9/9/8. Kid in public.

Now, DW is SAH, so we have never had childcare expenses.

I have managed to save some cash: net worth is about 1.1 mil. (no inheritance).

It is all expectations. We do not consider the big international vacations. Private schools? Eh, in Vienna, I don't need them.

Cars, well my 6 yo subie runs fine.

Now, granted I have lived here since '99, but HHI was 80K then, and we were doing fine.

What is hard to understand about this equation? You said yourself big international vacations are out of the question for you. So: not rich or even approaching it.

BUT DEFINITELY NOT POOR!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok. I read these posts and cringe. my HHI income is 1/2 of that. We are quite comfortable. Small house in a good suburb, 1800 sq ft on 0.25 acres, GS ranking 9/9/8. Kid in public.

Now, DW is SAH, so we have never had childcare expenses.

I have managed to save some cash: net worth is about 1.1 mil. (no inheritance).

It is all expectations. We do not consider the big international vacations. Private schools? Eh, in Vienna, I don't need them.

Cars, well my 6 yo subie runs fine.

Now, granted I have lived here since '99, but HHI was 80K then, and we were doing fine.

What is hard to understand about this equation? You said yourself big international vacations are out of the question for you. So: not rich or even approaching it.

BUT DEFINITELY NOT POOR!

PP here. The thread is about people with high incomes claiming to be poor. I am not rich. I never claimed to be rich. I am comfortable. I am comfortable to being able to afford 20-40K vacations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do they want? I think that is pretty clear: they want it ALL. The 1.25-2 mil house. The 85k car (x2 and maybe a fun convertible for a third that they only take out on weekends). They want a second home at the beach. They want to be able to spend 50k on travel every year. They want to be able to drop 200-300 at dinner once a week (plus babysitter). They want the 110k CC membership plus ongoing dues and related fees. They want to pay for private school for 2-3 children. They want to save at least $1k a month per kid for college. In addition, they'll want $100k extra for general savings. I can keep good by here. This is where all their money goes.

Fwiw we have this lifestyle (minus private school) with three kids at an income of ~ 750k.

fwiw, we have a HHI of $1.8m and that is NOT our life style
2 kids in public
one house - $700K
one Lexus with 105K miles and one toyota with 56K miles
$150 gym membership

Splurge ....??? We love our steakhouse dinners - 1 per month $150
and we vacation a lot - maybe around $40K with this summer being our first to Europe as a family.

What do you do with all your money? Invest it? Give it to charity?