s/o - feeling "poor" at these ludicrously high incomes. what are they actually missing?

[Anonymous]

It's hard saving, denying oneself and not spending discretionary income, regardless of income level. And over time what was once a discretionary expense becomes seen as a fixed expense.

[Anonymous]

Come on. The $600k poster in the other thread is absolutely certifiable. They don't even have household help or are paying for private school, but they "feel" middle class.

The most insulting tripe I've ever read in M&F.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's hard saving, denying oneself and not spending discretionary income, regardless of income level. And over time what was once a discretionary expense becomes seen as a fixed expense.

Like an iphone and a data plan.

[Anonymous]

We make about $230k combined. But we married relatively young out of college and lived very cheaply for a few years before having kids. We saved up a large down payment for our house that ended up being almost two thirds of the total cost. We were able to pay off the small mortgage in about five years.

DW works from home, so our childcare costs have always been low. In our late 30s now, we have about $2M invested. We're thinking about retiring around 50 and traveling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That $300k thread was nutso enough - then someone comes on and says they're feeling poor at a $600k household income. Which is just objectively insane, I think it's fair to say.

But it got me wondering what the underlying issue is here. Because obviously that is SO MUCH MONEY. At the same time, the people posting seem so unhappy. It's like all the houses, all the cars, all the nannies and trips and clothes have left them feeling like there has to be something more, that other people have and they don't have.

I'm not a religious person. I'm not even spiritual. I'm reluctant to say it's anything like that that these people are missing in their lives, when really they think it's more money they need.

What is it? What's actually going on here? It cannot be as simple as: there are some extremely rich people in DC and those people make everyone else feel like no amount of money is enough. Or is it? Is it actually that simple?

they lack perspective, and are also humblebragging. our HHI is roughly 330k. I would never, ever cry "poor mouth," but I do see how easily people can lose perspective as they get used to making a high HHI. our mortgage is $2500/mo, and childcare is $1850/mo. Between those things and random household expenses (many of which come along with having a toddler), I do find myself wondering "where in the hell is the money going"? We save a healthy amount, including significant funds in a 529 plan, but I can see how someone would become out of touch with reality and start bemoaning how 300k+ "isn't that much." I remember how it was to have an HHI of 50-60k, so I'm not gonna do that, but I can see people forgetting (or coming from a privileged background and lacking all perspective). As for the humblebragging, there are a lot of insecure, sick people in this area and many of them post here.

[Anonymous]

Rich people don't need to work. Their money works for them. Everyone else is working class no matter how much you make.

You people live on a hamster wheel. Running as fast as you can, making money to outsource everything and anything. That's not living. That's straight up working to death so others can do your job. That's no dream. It's a fucking nightmare. That's why you and yours are medicated. You can't keep up. One day that wheel will wear out.

Yet you brag, you flaunt, you pretend because others around you do it so it must be copied. You're internally miserable and it shows.

Kind of like Porky Pig in Pigs is Pigs cartoon being force fed because he was greedy then he popped.

Same tune different lyrics.

Never enough. Then you die and someone else brags about your stuff because they got it all. A replacement hamster wheel starts rolling again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's that simple. Lots of people in this area are not from here and are not from any competitive market like SF or NYC or even NJ or Mass. So they think by making it to DC and making 300k, they have ARRIVED. Then they look around and realize there are people making 400k, 500k, 1 million etc. They look around at the Jones and realize that at 300k, they may have to think about private school and it's no fair that their friends making 500k have to give zero thought to whether to enroll their 3 kids in private school.

And then they look back home to Wisconsin or Arkansas or wherever and realize that it's no fair that their old high school classmates -- who weren't even class valedictorian and weren't ivy bound land are grads of the local non flagship u are making 150k in sales and living in a McMansion style house with 2 brand new cars, whereas they HAVE ARRIVED in DC but "only" have a 700k brick home from the 1960s to show for it.

I haven't seen the same insecurity from people coming from say Long Island or NJ or the Bay Area bc they are used to be around A LOT of money and are also from competitive places so they never expected that they would be "the one" in their group of peers who'd be the success.

I'm from LI and we moved to DC from NYC a few years ago. We have a HHI of $1 million, which is a lot around here but not that much in Manhattan. It is all relative. My friends in NYC live in more expensive homes but we love our $1 million single family home here. $1 million will not even get you a 1 bedroom in Manhattan. Our friends all spent at least $2 million for their 2-3 bedroom apartments.

[Anonymous]

It's really quite simple. Money does not buy happiness. Consuming houses, clothing, trips, new cars, food, sex and private school will never fill the void of self worth and the human need for connection. People will continue in their suffering as long as they strive for more "stuff" (including experiences and success for themselves and their kids) Think about what really makes you feel warm and happy inside--if you're really honest and self aware, it's not driving around in your new car. It's holding your DD's hand or having a meaningful conversation with someone face to face or watching your kid learn to walk. Some people sadly are stuck in the rat race.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Happiness does not come from material things. It is an emotional state and we as humans get emotional satisfaction from relationships and feeling of self-worth. This culture does not lend to deep emotional relationships. When we cannot love or care enough to put someone else above us, then we cannot help but be self-centered. All negative feelings comes from being self-centered because there will be always someone who is better off than us in something. Its like measuring how fulfilling your life is by seeing the FB posts of others.

Love this! Saving it too

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's that simple. Lots of people in this area are not from here and are not from any competitive market like SF or NYC or even NJ or Mass. So they think by making it to DC and making 300k, they have ARRIVED. Then they look around and realize there are people making 400k, 500k, 1 million etc. They look around at the Jones and realize that at 300k, they may have to think about private school and it's no fair that their friends making 500k have to give zero thought to whether to enroll their 3 kids in private school.

And then they look back home to Wisconsin or Arkansas or wherever and realize that it's no fair that their old high school classmates -- who weren't even class valedictorian and weren't ivy bound land are grads of the local non flagship u are making 150k in sales and living in a McMansion style house with 2 brand new cars, whereas they HAVE ARRIVED in DC but "only" have a 700k brick home from the 1960s to show for it.

I haven't seen the same insecurity from people coming from say Long Island or NJ or the Bay Area bc they are used to be around A LOT of money and are also from competitive places so they never expected that they would be "the one" in their group of peers who'd be the success.

I'm from LI and we moved to DC from NYC a few years ago. We have a HHI of $1 million, which is a lot around here but not that much in Manhattan. It is all relative. My friends in NYC live in more expensive homes but we love our $1 million single family home here. $1 million will not even get you a 1 bedroom in Manhattan. Our friends all spent at least $2 million for their 2-3 bedroom apartments.

I get what you're saying as I moved here from Manhattan too but let's not exaggerate. Yes you can get a 1 bedroom for a million. A sibling of mine just bought one -- 1 bedroom, doorman building, though in midtown -- not upper east or west -- for ~600k. Yes if you have a family you want a 2 bedroom and a more "luxury" building so you're going to pay $2 million+ for it. But it's ridiculous to say that you just CAN'T get 1 bedroom for $1 million in Manhattan.

[Anonymous]

Comparison is the enemy of joy, people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Rich people don't need to work. Their money works for them. Everyone else is working class no matter how much you make.

You people live on a hamster wheel. Running as fast as you can, making money to outsource everything and anything. That's not living. That's straight up working to death so others can do your job. That's no dream. It's a fucking nightmare. That's why you and yours are medicated. You can't keep up. One day that wheel will wear out.

Yet you brag, you flaunt, you pretend because others around you do it so it must be copied. You're internally miserable and it shows.

Kind of like Porky Pig in Pigs is Pigs cartoon being force fed because he was greedy then he popped.

Same tune different lyrics.

Never enough. Then you die and someone else brags about your stuff because they got it all. A replacement hamster wheel starts rolling again.

I've always said I aspire to be wealthy not rich. Rich people chase the dollar. The dollar works for the wealthy people. They are worried 24/7, don't get enough rest and always compare their lifestyle to the wealthy to keep up. Just read some of the posts here. It's really sad. This why I believe profoundly in entrepreneurship. It's more important to me that my kids understand this difference than them attending some top rated expensive school just to end up working long hours for someone else. I want my kids to be leaders and not followers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's that simple. Lots of people in this area are not from here and are not from any competitive market like SF or NYC or even NJ or Mass. So they think by making it to DC and making 300k, they have ARRIVED. Then they look around and realize there are people making 400k, 500k, 1 million etc. They look around at the Jones and realize that at 300k, they may have to think about private school and it's no fair that their friends making 500k have to give zero thought to whether to enroll their 3 kids in private school.

And then they look back home to Wisconsin or Arkansas or wherever and realize that it's no fair that their old high school classmates -- who weren't even class valedictorian and weren't ivy bound land are grads of the local non flagship u are making 150k in sales and living in a McMansion style house with 2 brand new cars, whereas they HAVE ARRIVED in DC but "only" have a 700k brick home from the 1960s to show for it.

I haven't seen the same insecurity from people coming from say Long Island or NJ or the Bay Area bc they are used to be around A LOT of money and are also from competitive places so they never expected that they would be "the one" in their group of peers who'd be the success.

Perfect assessment, well put. This is exactly what is going on here in the DMV and why certain people feel "poor."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rich people don't need to work. Their money works for them. Everyone else is working class no matter how much you make.

You people live on a hamster wheel. Running as fast as you can, making money to outsource everything and anything. That's not living. That's straight up working to death so others can do your job. That's no dream. It's a fucking nightmare. That's why you and yours are medicated. You can't keep up. One day that wheel will wear out.

Yet you brag, you flaunt, you pretend because others around you do it so it must be copied. You're internally miserable and it shows.

Kind of like Porky Pig in Pigs is Pigs cartoon being force fed because he was greedy then he popped.

Same tune different lyrics.

Never enough. Then you die and someone else brags about your stuff because they got it all. A replacement hamster wheel starts rolling again.

I've always said I aspire to be wealthy not rich. Rich people chase the dollar. The dollar works for the wealthy people. They are worried 24/7, don't get enough rest and always compare their lifestyle to the wealthy to keep up. Just read some of the posts here. It's really sad. This why I believe profoundly in entrepreneurship. It's more important to me that my kids understand this difference than them attending some top rated expensive school just to end up working long hours for someone else. I want my kids to be leaders and not followers.

Then you need to earn money now so you can provide them the safety net to take risks and start companies. For some of us, we needed to work to pay the rent and food, and if a company floundered we ended up on the streets. You can make sure your kids don't have to make that same stark choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rich people don't need to work. Their money works for them. Everyone else is working class no matter how much you make.

You people live on a hamster wheel. Running as fast as you can, making money to outsource everything and anything. That's not living. That's straight up working to death so others can do your job. That's no dream. It's a fucking nightmare. That's why you and yours are medicated. You can't keep up. One day that wheel will wear out.

Yet you brag, you flaunt, you pretend because others around you do it so it must be copied. You're internally miserable and it shows.

Kind of like Porky Pig in Pigs is Pigs cartoon being force fed because he was greedy then he popped.

Same tune different lyrics.

Never enough. Then you die and someone else brags about your stuff because they got it all. A replacement hamster wheel starts rolling again.

I've always said I aspire to be wealthy not rich. Rich people chase the dollar. The dollar works for the wealthy people. They are worried 24/7, don't get enough rest and always compare their lifestyle to the wealthy to keep up. Just read some of the posts here. It's really sad. This why I believe profoundly in entrepreneurship. It's more important to me that my kids understand this difference than them attending some top rated expensive school just to end up working long hours for someone else. I want my kids to be leaders and not followers.

Shaq is rich. The white man who signs his check is wealthy.

-Chris Rock