My wife attempted suicide last night

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ask her why she wants to die, be blunt, clear the hosue of anything toxic and get her doctors involved not the hospital

I asked her this last night. She said I broke her heart and she couldn't handle the pain.
It's always my fault. Always.

She is sick and not capable of being rational right now. This is not your fault. Don't let yourself think that way.

This. She feels safe letting it out on you, but it's not really your fault. As a previous poster said, it's not her talking, it's her illness. Try and see it as if she had a physical illness, cancer, something like that... very hard to do, but it's the only way.

And for the sake of all that's holy, get yourself and your son in therapy if you're not already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:troll

Fuck. You

-OP

Good for you, OP. Allow me to add my own personal fuck you to the "person" who called you a troll. How dares this waste of space do that. How dares s/he.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I started to suspect troll but after OP posted that he went to work during all of this, now I'm fairly certain it's a troll

You have no clue, have you? Some employers just don't care what goes on in their employees' life. They're just pieces of a machine that's supposed to turn out a nice profit, and screw any personal issue they may have, no matter how major. What good would it do to OP to get sacked on top of anything he has going on in his life now? Learn some compassion, you horrid excuse for a human being.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:700 pills is more than 2 years of sleeping pills. You can take that in one sitting?

If you know HOW to take them so as not to puke, yes, you can. As a former hospital volunteer, I know that it can be done and how it can be done. Of course I'm not posting any details on the Internet, I'm not stupid and I don't want to give how-to information to suicidal people who may read this... but it can be done, trust me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Christ this thread went off the rails.
To clarify about the sleeping pills. She had a 6mo prescription for them to be filled once a month. The idiot pharmacist filled all 6 mos for her at once, 600 pills total. She also took 60 Percocet, 22 narcos and 20 hydrocodone. The narcotics were (are) mine but were just in the cabinet because I didn't need them anymore. I've talked to her psychiatrist and her therapist about how the sleeping pills were filled. That's a battle I can't deal with right now. My wife should be dead. She should have been dead before the EMS even showed up at the door. How the fuck she survived I don't know. She's coming home tomorrow and I'm scared out of my mind. I came here to get some support because how do you tell your friends, even the closest ones you have, that your wife tried to kill herself. You don't. You just paste a fake smile on your face and go on.

OP, don't feel you need to account for how many pills your wife had available and how she got her hands on them or whatever. People who ask that kind of questions clearly have NO effing concept of what it means to a) be mentally ill, b) have a family member who's mentally illl.

Seriously, don't waste one more second of your energy giving us pill bookkeeping details you don't owe anyone on this forum.

FWIW, you have my support. Shit on the lot of those who ask you such inane question and on those who call you a troll and a fake.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm so sorry for all that is going on. I have no personal experience but just want to send your entire family a big cyber hug. I can imagine that today will be scary. Do you have a plan for when DW comes home? Pardon if this is a stupid question but does she have any family that can spend the weekend with you as you get adjusted? She is not willing to go inpatient but is she willing to do any therapy right now? If yes, is it possible to leave the hospital and go right to the therapists office? Lastly, have you explored trying to have her committed against her will, does she meet the threshold?

Good luck and please ignore the mean posters. There are plenty of us here that are wishing you strength as you muddle through this hard time. Last thought, does your ds have a friend he can have a sleepover with to give you and DW some alone time to process/talk?

Please keep us posted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Christ this thread went off the rails.
To clarify about the sleeping pills. She had a 6mo prescription for them to be filled once a month. The idiot pharmacist filled all 6 mos for her at once, 600 pills total. She also took 60 Percocet, 22 narcos and 20 hydrocodone. The narcotics were (are) mine but were just in the cabinet because I didn't need them anymore. I've talked to her psychiatrist and her therapist about how the sleeping pills were filled. That's a battle I can't deal with right now. My wife should be dead. She should have been dead before the EMS even showed up at the door. How the fuck she survived I don't know. She's coming home tomorrow and I'm scared out of my mind. I came here to get some support because how do you tell your friends, even the closest ones you have, that your wife tried to kill herself. You don't. You just paste a fake smile on your face and go on.

Please imagine this spoken in a very gentle, non-judgemental tone... yes, you do. You need support. You need help. Screw all the conditioning about putting on a fake smile, being brave, being "a man" in the situation. You need all the help you can get and your son and your wife need support.

Maybe one of your friends has useful contacts and you don't know. Please, please, ASK for help. I know it's hard, but you have to.

If they don't understand, if they judge and gossip, you cut them out of your life. They're not true friends. But if they are, they'll want to help. Please, do reach out.

[Anonymous]

OP, can you please explain why they won't commit your wife? Are there other options, even overseas mental hospitals? I think you really need to do everything you can to get her in a mental health facility for the long term and figure out what is going on whether her meds are out of whack or whatever. You don't want your son coming home to find your wife dead. Ignore the troll accusations and stay focused on getting her the help that she (and you) needs.

[Anonymous]

OP, you need to file a formal complaint against this hospital (and please out them here). They are being severely negligent to believe that your wife swallowed over 700 pills by accident and that she is in any state of medical health (both mentally and physically) where she should be released home. They should not be allowed to practice medicine.

I'm not saying go to the lengths of a lawsuit or anything because I'm sure you don't have the energy to do that. In the meantime just write a letter to the CEO and then file a formal complaint.

Signed ER nurse whose blood is absolutely boiling over their negligence and wish I could file all the complaints for you.

[Anonymous]

Having family members lost to suicide makes me really sympathetic to what you're going through. Believe me, I know what a shock it is and how you have to find the strength to get through. What puzzles me is that you've gotten a lot of advice about the need to bring in your counselor/therapist for assistance, especially for your DS. A counselor/therapist would be a critical partner at this time yet you're not talking about it. It makes me think you are, in fact, a troll - especially since information has come to light about other dramatic threads you've started.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Christ this thread went off the rails.
To clarify about the sleeping pills. She had a 6mo prescription for them to be filled once a month. The idiot pharmacist filled all 6 mos for her at once, 600 pills total. She also took 60 Percocet, 22 narcos and 20 hydrocodone. The narcotics were (are) mine but were just in the cabinet because I didn't need them anymore. I've talked to her psychiatrist and her therapist about how the sleeping pills were filled. That's a battle I can't deal with right now. My wife should be dead. She should have been dead before the EMS even showed up at the door. How the fuck she survived I don't know. She's coming home tomorrow and I'm scared out of my mind. I came here to get some support because how do you tell your friends, even the closest ones you have, that your wife tried to kill herself. You don't. You just paste a fake smile on your face and go on.

Please imagine this spoken in a very gentle, non-judgemental tone... yes, you do. You need support. You need help. Screw all the conditioning about putting on a fake smile, being brave, being "a man" in the situation. You need all the help you can get and your son and your wife need support.

Maybe one of your friends has useful contacts and you don't know. Please, please, ASK for help. I know it's hard, but you have to.

If they don't understand, if they judge and gossip, you cut them out of your life. They're not true friends. But if they are, they'll want to help. Please, do reach out.

Agree totally with this -- try to be honest. You don't necessarily need to tell everyone you know, but you do need to be honest with a core group of friends and family. And not just YOUR friends and family but HERS as well. I will regret to the end of my days that I wasn't completely honest with my now ExDH's family about his mental illness, problem substance abuse behaviors, etc., when we split up. I am now trapped keeping a secret, and that is not at all how I want my kids to believe these issues should be handled. My kids are in/approaching teenage years, and I am beginning to realize that it is damaging them in ways I hadn't imagined to not know the reality of what is driving some of their dad's decisions. I also think they have a right to know about the bipolar as part of their medical history so they will take seriously the environmental factors they can control (sleep, regular routines, no substance use, building relationships with family and therapists). It is tricky to think about how to unravel all these lies now.

FWIW, you will be surprised by the positive reception you will get. I told my parents every ugly detail and to this day they have been nothing but supportive to me and have never spoken a cross word to my ex because they want to facilitate the best possible outcome. I expected my mother particularly to be very angry and harsh with him and judgmental of me, but that was not the case at all. By not telling, you may feel you are protecting yourself and family from the negative reactions of others, but really you are cutting yourself off from some wonderful support.

And for those who hear your story and are not supportive, don't get angry just allow them to become more distant. People can be shmucks when it comes to all kinds of problems -- cancer, mental illness, financial trouble, etc. -- they don't know what to say or how to help and so they don't help and don't say anything which feels like a tremendous betrayal. But, those who do help will buoy you.

[Anonymous]

i was thinking this last night as i reached for a the big costco size bottle of pills. i wa slike no way that person did that, not possiblle

antoher vote for troll.

[Anonymous]

So what do you assholes personally get out of the troll hunt?

[Anonymous]

I came here to get some support because how do you tell your friends, even the closest ones you have, that your wife tried to kill herself. You don't. You just paste a fake smile on your face and go on.

You need to either discuss this with a close friend or family member, or, if you can't do that, find a therapist for yourself. I am sorry to hear about your situation, but there is really nothing that an anonymous internet site primarily focused on parenting can do to provide meaningful help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, can you please explain why they won't commit your wife? Are there other options, even overseas mental hospitals? I think you really need to do everything you can to get her in a mental health facility for the long term and figure out what is going on whether her meds are out of whack or whatever. You don't want your son coming home to find your wife dead. Ignore the troll accusations and stay focused on getting her the help that she (and you) needs.

haha, you don't have much experience with mental health these days? this isn't the 50s with girl interrupted. it is very hard to commit someone against their will. even if they want to be in mental hospital, often it requires paying out of pocket.