I can't handle the competition at K

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know,OP, it's not uncommon for schools to give awards monthly with kids taking turns getting them.

How about no awards? How about just let the children thrive and flourish without constant comparisons and competitions?

Perhaps these awards are not about comparing children but rather rewarding children for good behavior. What is wrong with that?
My son's K employs a color system. Green is obvious. Yellow is a warning. Red comes after 2 warnings and Blue is a note home or you get sent to the principal's office. At the end of last week he and ALL the kids who were on green all week received a small token for their accomplishment.
The kids didn't get the "award" for being better than the other kids but rather for doing what they were supposed to do. OP needs to be less concerned about what other kids unless she wants to teach DD to constantly compare herself to others.

[Anonymous]

My son's K employs a color system. Green is obvious. Yellow is a warning. Red comes after 2 warnings and Blue is a note home or you get sent to the principal's office. At the end of last week he and ALL the kids who were on green all week received a small token for their accomplishment.
The kids didn't get the "award" for being better than the other kids but rather for doing what they were supposed to do. OP needs to be less concerned about what other kids unless she wants to teach DD to constantly compare herself to others.

PP, there's another thread that rips into this method. I like it, but many think it damages little ones' self esteem...........go figure.

[Anonymous]

OP,
FACT: There will be lots of awards through the years. Your daughter will not get all of them. There is great value in being able to accept that fact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Now one gives a bullshit about what you did in elementary school. In Kindergarten, most kids don't give a shit about awards. They just want the day to end so they can sleep at home or play with friends.

These awards only matter in middle and high school.

Doesn't matter in middle school either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

My DD's school had a monthly assembly when the principal highlighted students selected by their teacher for "showing model citizenship." (ie - being nice)
My DD is quite shy and has a HUGE heart. She was always helping others but in a "behind the scenes" type way so she was never acknowledged for her kindness.
This sounds like it will be the same for your DD.

As for the competition between girls, when spring comes along and the school starts thinking about class placement for 1st grade, put something like this in writing, "Lara and Laura are such close friends outside of school and the families spend a lot of time together. I would like to request that Lara be placed in a different 1st grade class so she can develop and expand new friendships."

Can I ask the school to move DD to another class earlier?

To add fuel to the fire my DD came home today and told me that the "model citizen" forces her to play with her and doesn't let her play with other kids, yells at her and calls her names. DD said she's scared of her and she makes her do things she doesn't want to do.

We don't really spend a whole lot of time with them outside the school right now. After the last play date DD said she doesn't want to be around her any more.

You need to talk to the teacher if this is what is going on - the teacher may be able to split them up during the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lady, you are in for a long ride if you are going to give a rat's ass about shit like this.

Let me let you in on a little secret: There will always be other kids who are smarter, happier, prettier, harder working, stronger, faster, more athletic, more whatever than your DD. That's okay. You wouldn't trade her.

Don't let your insecurities spoil your enjoyment of your child and potentially your relationship with her. Get a grip.

You are awesome! Great post!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

My DD's school had a monthly assembly when the principal highlighted students selected by their teacher for "showing model citizenship." (ie - being nice)
My DD is quite shy and has a HUGE heart. She was always helping others but in a "behind the scenes" type way so she was never acknowledged for her kindness.
This sounds like it will be the same for your DD.

As for the competition between girls, when spring comes along and the school starts thinking about class placement for 1st grade, put something like this in writing, "Lara and Laura are such close friends outside of school and the families spend a lot of time together. I would like to request that Lara be placed in a different 1st grade class so she can develop and expand new friendships."

Can I ask the school to move DD to another class earlier?

To add fuel to the fire my DD came home today and told me that the "model citizen" forces her to play with her and doesn't let her play with other kids, yells at her and calls her names. DD said she's scared of her and she makes her do things she doesn't want to do.

We don't really spend a whole lot of time with them outside the school right now. After the last play date DD said she doesn't want to be around her any more.

It is sick the way you are on a one-woman crusade to demonize this child. Yes, have your curious, quirky daughter moved to another class so she can stop being harassed and will blossom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Well, the award was not given for academics. But for being a good girl. In the eyes of the teacher the good girl is the one that's best behaved and compliant. This is not the values that I'm teaching my DD. I'm not raising sheep.

Given that you're not raising a sheep, and given that the award is for being a sheep, it follows that you should be happy that your daughter did not win the award. You don't seem happy, though.

No, because someone else got the award. Welcome to DC: zero sum land.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So ... the other girl is better at standing in lines facing forward? Using whatever the "proper" grip is on a pencil these days?

Who gives a shit? It's KINDERGARTEN.

It's for "students who try their best in both academics and good citizenship".

What about kids who are not people pleasers, who don't try hard to please the teacher?

Then they don't get that award, and life goes on just fine. It is kindergarten.

Those kids learn to believe in themselves, know themselves, value their uniqueness, and learn their own strengths and weaknesses instead of having someone else tell them what they are and who to be. Those kids have confidence in themselves and aren't crushed when people don't approve of them or life deals them a hard blow. Those kids go on to start businesses and run companies and control their own lives, they don't push pencils and spend their time building other people's dreams.

Unless their parents decide in Kindergarten it's more important for them to be in a principal's made-up club than it is for them to grow into their talents at their own pace.

OP, your DD is WONDERFUL. She is perfect in every respect, and will find her own talents in her own way when the time is right. Please don't start teaching her that she should have "proper manners" or please others. You never get ahead in life that way, but more importantly, you never find out who you are or all you're capable of that way.

Signed,

Former Queen of Proper Manners and People-Pleasing

[Anonymous]

The teacher said there are several children eligible for awards, but unfortunately they can nominate one child at a time. So there will be more to come.

So I"m not concerned, she'll get that stupid award soon. The DD is above the K level academically and is always in the "green" behavior" and she gets gifts for that every week from the treasure box. Which I also don't approve of.

I just think that will make the kids as early as 5 have to start competing with other kids for teacher's awards and approval. I don't like that.

What does a 5 year old get an award for? Come on. This is not rocket science, they're not doing anything extraordinary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So ... the other girl is better at standing in lines facing forward? Using whatever the "proper" grip is on a pencil these days?

Who gives a shit? It's KINDERGARTEN.

It's for "students who try their best in both academics and good citizenship".

What about kids who are not people pleasers, who don't try hard to please the teacher?

Then they don't get that award, and life goes on just fine. It is kindergarten.

Those kids learn to believe in themselves, know themselves, value their uniqueness, and learn their own strengths and weaknesses instead of having someone else tell them what they are and who to be. Those kids have confidence in themselves and aren't crushed when people don't approve of them or life deals them a hard blow. Those kids go on to start businesses and run companies and control their own lives, they don't push pencils and spend their time building other people's dreams.

Unless their parents decide in Kindergarten it's more important for them to be in a principal's made-up club than it is for them to grow into their talents at their own pace.

OP, your DD is WONDERFUL. She is perfect in every respect, and will find her own talents in her own way when the time is right. Please don't start teaching her that she should have "proper manners" or please others. You never get ahead in life that way, but more importantly, you never find out who you are or all you're capable of that way.

Signed,

Former Queen of Proper Manners and People-Pleasing

Lady, you're having some serious issues if you think that having manners precludes people from controlling their lives and 'starting businesses'.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The teacher said there are several children eligible for awards, but unfortunately they can nominate one child at a time. So there will be more to come.

So I"m not concerned, she'll get that stupid award soon. The DD is above the K level academically and is always in the "green" behavior" and she gets gifts for that every week from the treasure box. Which I also don't approve of.

I just think that will make the kids as early as 5 have to start competing with other kids for teacher's awards and approval. I don't like that.

What does a 5 year old get an award for? Come on. This is not rocket science, they're not doing anything extraordinary.

But you ARE concerned. Your thread title indicates that you can't handle the competition, and you mention that you are hurt that your daughter didn't get into the club. The kids will be fine, and quirky kids will find their niche even if they have a treasure box in their classroom. Even if there is an emphasis on rule following in kindergarten.

YOU, on the other hand, sound like you have some real issues to work through. You may want to consider an alternative school if you disagree so strongly with the approach and curriculum at your school.

[Anonymous]

First, you cannot "give" a child self esteem. You help develop it. If a child thinks the self esteem comes from outside sources, she will have difficulties later. That said, it is not excuse for bad manners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The teacher said there are several children eligible for awards, but unfortunately they can nominate one child at a time. So there will be more to come.

So I"m not concerned, she'll get that stupid award soon. The DD is above the K level academically and is always in the "green" behavior" and she gets gifts for that every week from the treasure box. Which I also don't approve of.

I just think that will make the kids as early as 5 have to start competing with other kids for teacher's awards and approval. I don't like that.

What does a 5 year old get an award for? Come on. This is not rocket science, they're not doing anything extraordinary.

OP, is there anything about the school you do like? Anything at all? Anything?

So far we have:

1. This other kid got an award for good behavior and my daughter didn't.
2. But the other kid doesn't deserve the award.
3. Also, awards are dumb.
4. And good behavior is for chumps.
5. Anyway, my daughter will soon get the same award for good behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The teacher said there are several children eligible for awards, but unfortunately they can nominate one child at a time. So there will be more to come.

So I"m not concerned, she'll get that stupid award soon. The DD is above the K level academically and is always in the "green" behavior" and she gets gifts for that every week from the treasure box. Which I also don't approve of.

I just think that will make the kids as early as 5 have to start competing with other kids for teacher's awards and approval. I don't like that.

What does a 5 year old get an award for? Come on. This is not rocket science, they're not doing anything extraordinary.

Just hang in there. She'll get that there award soon enough. And then you can relax.