Pissed at DH for letting DCs pick out my xmas gift

[Anonymous]

Just tell them it doesn't match your outfit and you won't be wearing it if it is a place you are going with them and you don't want to wear it.

If you are going out alone or to work, put it on and once you get to the car take it off.

Do make a point of wearing it sometimes when you go out as a family - maybe brunch, playground, whatever so they think you liked it

It is all about perception op.

[Anonymous]

Are not we supposed to teach children to buy gifts for people that the they would like? Not what you like, but the other person likes?


OP, I think your husband dropped the ball.

[Anonymous]

I gave my kids money (when they were 6&7) so they could pick out something for me on their own. They got me a sweater for the dog and an enormous container of cheese puffs. I appreciated it even though they were gifts for me that were really gifts for them (and the dog).

If you want DH to lead them to something better then tell him exactly what you want and have him work it so it looks like it's from the kids. Or tell them you want nothing but a homemade card from them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are not we supposed to teach children to buy gifts for people that the they would like? Not what you like, but the other person likes?


OP, I think your husband dropped the ball.

But why are you assuming that they (husband, daughters) only picked what they liked? How do you know they really didn't think mom would like it?

[Anonymous]

If it was the only gift you got - then yes, I would be irritated. If not -- get over yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are not we supposed to teach children to buy gifts for people that the they would like? Not what you like, but the other person likes?


OP, I think your husband dropped the ball.

I think OP's parents forgot to teach their child how to deal with disappointment, and to put "the thought," over "the thing."

[Anonymous]

My kids didn't get me anything. I'm not mad at DH - he bought me tons of stuff.
As far as him, I took the kids shopping. They picked out cheap golf balls and foam golf balls. They thought he would like them, just like OPs kids thought she would like a pretty pin. DH got good presents from me as well. But part of letting children but gifts is letting them pick it out. It's not from them if The parent picks it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are not we supposed to teach children to buy gifts for people that the they would like? Not what you like, but the other person likes?


OP, I think your husband dropped the ball.

Yes, but not at age 3. Many of us are just trying to get OP to recognize age appropriateness. At age 3 they are just learning to do things independently for the themselves, so selecting a gift by themselves is an important first step. At age 5, with some children, you can start to inject the thoughtfulness, but only borderline. In this case, with two children, it can't hurt to wait another year or two to start down that path. OP is just being ungrateful and selfish, despite hiding it from her children. She should be ashamed. If her children were 8 and 10, I'd be 100% with her, but their not and I'm not.

[Anonymous]

OP, just because the kids want you to wear it everywhere does not mean you have to agree. You aren't a horrible person if you tell them so gently. It's fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:They are kids. Appreciate them and your DH and be glad you got something. Quit whining.

This is OP. I do appreciate them and like I said - I wasn't mad at them and did all the oohs and aahs.

I think people are missing the point. I'm not unappreciative - I am just pissed DH didn't steer them to something I'd like more - LIKE I DID WITH HIS GIFT FROM THE GIRLS.

Part of the joy of giving is to find something the recipient would like - that's a teachable moment too!

I think you are missing the point, OP. So you killed their joy and sense of pride by choosing your DH's gift yourself. He made a different choice. What did you expect by posting this? Validation? You are barking up the wrong tree, sister.

Ugh, I'm so over this. This is the last time I'm responding. I didn't ask for validation and I DID start my thread by recognizing this is a bit petty. I was looking for ways that would NOT (got that??? that would NOT) hurt my kids' feelings. I got a few great suggestions and obviously there are others that understand.

Just to repeat - my kids think I absolutely LOVE their gift. I've been wearing it out every single damn time we've gone out since xmas. I was looking for ways to not have to wear it for the rest of my life as it's not my taste.

So, everyone, thanks for those that understood and gave me some good ideas. everyone else - whatever! I'm not going to read this anymore.

You think they're not getting this level of distaste from you?? Dream on. You're so screwed up that you think a 3 and 5 year old, who want to pick out their own gift to you all by themselves, have to, on their first try, pick out something that you adore. I would be so proud that my kids wanted to pick it out themselves and all you can do is bitch that they didn't nail it on the head. God, you seriously are a bitch.

Stop it with the name-calling and the shaming. OP is a FINE person despite not liking the crap her kids got her. And her DH could have steered them towards something else, and given them the money to pay and they'd have been thrilled to feel like they paid, and then he could have let them wrap her gift and they'd have been thrilled to wrap it themselves. No need to make her feel terribly. She's not a terrible person for not liking an ugly POS her kids got her.

Yes, she kind of is. And no, I won't stop shaming this OP. She needs to be shamed.

Not pp you responded to but nah, she isn't. If you really feel upset and shamed the people that truly needed shaming in the world, you could do wonders. Otherwise, stfu with your holier than thou attitude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any woman on the TTC forum would gladly have your problem

^^ A very very very good point.

Yuk, you can not deny other people's problems just because you think yours is bigger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, just because the kids want you to wear it everywhere does not mean you have to agree. You aren't a horrible person if you tell them so gently. It's fine.

This is one of the few sensible responses.

No need to brag about what a loving mother you are at OP's expense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, just because the kids want you to wear it everywhere does not mean you have to agree. You aren't a horrible person if you tell them so gently. It's fine.

This is one of the few sensible responses.

No need to brag about what a loving mother you are at OP's expense.

Agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, just because the kids want you to wear it everywhere does not mean you have to agree. You aren't a horrible person if you tell them so gently. It's fine.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are not we supposed to teach children to buy gifts for people that the they would like? Not what you like, but the other person likes?


OP, I think your husband dropped the ball.

I think OP's parents forgot to teach their child how to deal with disappointment, and to put "the thought," over "the thing."

What thought? Where is the evidence the kids put any kind of thought into it?