Is it rude to invite people to the pool but make them pay the guest fee?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I am already paying $500 a summer for membership and that is the full extent of our pool budget.

I'm sorry, but that is the most ridiculous excuse I have ever heard. If you are in a situation where you can shell out $500 for a pool membership, I am guessing that you can find $15 from another part of your family budget to pay for your guests. If you don't want to pay because you feel you shouldn't have to, that's one thing, but don't pretend you don't have the money.

Not the OP, but we do not have $15 in "some other part of our family budget" to host guests at the pool. My kids don't go to camp, we don't eat out, we don't pay to go to kids' shows or movies, we don't take family vacations, we don't have cable TV: the pool is what we do in the summer and there is no "other part" of our family budget to host guests on a regular basis. Believe what you want to believe, but not everyone just writes off the pool as one more thing among many that we're spending our enormous piles of money on. We do have one couple with whom we are longtime friends and with whom we regularly get together for dinner; in the summer those get-togethers often happen at our pool and we do pay for them. However, that relationship is one where we are often sharing the buying of food or beer/wine, so that is already built into the dynamic of our relationship.

I am happy to offer someone access to our pool that they would not already have, but I'm clear that's what I'm offering, not a "playdate" in the sense that we have an obligation to pay. Truthfully, the kids are hardly ever in the same place at the same time when we're at the pool, so it's very different than hosting at someone's house.

I'm sad for you PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

LOL .. you clearly have no capacity to appreciate or see robust sarcasm.... no quim here, babycakes, rotting or otherwise, though you're sound like such a tough guy (or a fabulously mean girl ), I'm just quivering...

Point is, such an invitation would tell a lot about the person making the invitation. I was brought up with more class than to invite people as my guest and then hand them a bill.

Ah yes, the classiness oozes from every word of your post...

Class does not ooze. It just is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a teacher/mom and I always let my friends/family know that they are welcome to come to the pool this summer. I would be broke very quickly if I paid the $10 guest fee for everyone. Maybe in DCUMland, $10 per person is nothing but it is a lot to me. None of my friends/family expect me to pay for them either. We invited my son's friend to the pool last week and his mom sent him with $15. $10 for the pool and $5 for a snack. I told her I always pack a lunch and I packed something for him. We stay for 4-5 hrs at least too b/c $10 is too much to be there for only an hour or two.

How is being a [/b]teacher[b] germane to the topic?

I save money every week from my paycheck for 6-8 months to pay for the pool membership. I earn around $40K per year as a teacher and that is my only income. My ex rarely pays child support so no, I really don't have the money to pay for my kids' friends to come to the pool.

You should move to an apartment with a pool or else not get a pool membership.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a teacher/mom and I always let my friends/family know that they are welcome to come to the pool this summer. I would be broke very quickly if I paid the $10 guest fee for everyone. Maybe in DCUMland, $10 per person is nothing but it is a lot to me. None of my friends/family expect me to pay for them either. We invited my son's friend to the pool last week and his mom sent him with $15. $10 for the pool and $5 for a snack. I told her I always pack a lunch and I packed something for him. We stay for 4-5 hrs at least too b/c $10 is too much to be there for only an hour or two.

How is being a [/b]teacher[b] germane to the topic?

I save money every week from my paycheck for 6-8 months to pay for the pool membership. I earn around $40K per year as a teacher and that is my only income. My ex rarely pays child support so no, I really don't have the money to pay for my kids' friends to come to the pool.

You should move to an apartment with a pool or else not get a pool membership.

At the risk of Miss Manners criticizing my class, or couth, or whatever ... in fairness, I don't think it's our place to tell PP how to do that/ what to do. And similarly, my point about inviting someone and then handing them a bill depends on how you express it, you can certainly do it in a way that is smoother so the invitee understands that they'll need to pay the fee. The wording of the original question &c. implies a less smooth approach, and that's what I think is a problem. If there's a mutual understanding or it's expressed in a less than crass way, fine.