Why do white parents think black kids are accepted into private school only because of their race?

[Anonymous]

EVERY private school in this area (and Sidwell included) has parents who are struggling financially, considered 'lower income' by D.C. standards--enrolled. Every one of them. Maybe they drive a decent car, are intellectual and have bright, well dressed kids. (Just because a family is low income, DOES NOT mean they cannot fit into a cultured, intellectual school community. And to poster about financial aid--The majority of the school's financial aid goes to white students, not black or other minorities. Black Student Fund aid--please--they MIGHT give a few black kids $500-$1000 per year at the most. The majority of black students in your kid's private school are funded by mom and dad...believe it or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:EVERY private school in this area (and Sidwell included) has parents who are struggling financially, considered 'lower income' by D.C. standards--enrolled. Every one of them. Maybe they drive a decent car, are intellectual and have bright, well dressed kids. (Just because a family is low income, DOES NOT mean they cannot fit into a cultured, intellectual school community.

This is my point exactly -- if they drive a decent car and are "intellectual" they are probably not true Billy Bobs.

"Struggling financially" means an income under $150K -- there have been lots of threads on DCUM recently about this. It's well-established that you can get a scholarship with a family income of $120K.

These are people with "professional" jobs, folks, it's not "low income" as you say. We're not talking the single mom without a college education who gets by waiting tables or answering phones at the reception desk.

No, I don't know all the parents at my kid's school. But I have a feeling that word would have gotten around -- you all know the environment -- if there were actually any receptionists or waitresses at my kid's school. Or landscapers or construction workers. Do you guys know any parents with these job titles at your schools?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: This is my point exactly -- if they drive a decent car and are "intellectual" they are probably not true Billy Bobs.

Not so. You're stereotyping here. Landscapers and waitresses can be intellegent and drive decent cars. Don't get caught up into the perception of who is who based on attire and autos. And yes, I do know some *non-professional* families at my child's school (a *big 3* school, whatever that means).

[Anonymous]

I never said that landscapers and waitresses weren't intelligent. You conflated my "low income" point with my "intellectual" point, which is unfair. I just said that they didn't earn $150K, to fit your definition of "struggling".

What is your definition of "non-professional" at your kid's school? I'm asking because your definition of "low income" seems to be anything below $150K.

[Anonymous]

Mom of "Billy Bob" here. My DH is a mid-level computer techie in retail banking ... more income than (some) landscapers, but not by much! We dress our child in nice designer clothes (used of course) to help him feel comfortable around his peers, but it would be silly to try to hide our lack of income even if we wanted to do so. We don't. Like other families at private schools, we place a very high priority on good education and diversity (the original topic of this thread!) We do not receive financial aid because we are too proud to even apply. It is OUR choice to send child here and we do not expect other parents to help us do it. DC's four grand-daddies are the true Billy Bobs to which you refer ... one worked highway construction, one drove a delivery truck in NYC and spoke only Italian for most of his days, and the other two worked in the coal mines at night and in the fields in the daytime. It makes tears come to my eyes when I read the term "Billy Bob" here, even though I know you mean no disrespect. Hard working, decent people want more for their kids than they had ... they are often less intellectual only for lack of the chances we had rather than because they are stupid. Thanks for listening.

[Anonymous]

Anyone who's involved in their child's education, anyone who really cares about their child's education regardless of where they go to school, is not a Billy Bob, imo.

It's not necessarily about income, job, or status. It comes down to your attitude and view of the world. Flame away.

[Anonymous]

11:39, could I ask what you do, or are you SAHM?

[Anonymous]

11:39 here. I'm a SAHM right now ... definitely another reason to not apply for financial aid. We had great difficulty having our child and I am trying to have as much time as possible to enjoy him while he's still young. Sorry for the high emotion in my post ... something about the term "Billy Bob" really hurt.

[Anonymous]

11:39, I admire your family greatly for making these sacrifices. I agree with 12:09 that you don't seem like Billy Bob's family. You do seem like one of many, many college-educated families in this town who happened to choose a line of work that doesn't pay enough to make private school an easy choice. Working for a not-for-profit, being an artist (10:30's "non-professional"?) are other jobs that fit this description.

I respect your choice not to apply for financial aid.

[Anonymous]

With respect, you seem very educated yourself. I would argue that having four granddaddies who didn't have the means to go to college does not a Billy Bob make.

[Anonymous]

Okay, I will concede that my child is probably not "Billy B" ... perhaps I just object to using that term to refer to ANYONE, regardless of how much education they have or whether they understand the importance of that same education for their own kids. It's hard to comprehend the importance of something you've never experienced first hand. Those great grand-daddies would have stood in the pouring rain to fix your flat tire ... they also would have probably told some pretty low-brow jokes out of your presence, but still decent people all in all.

[Anonymous]

This thread has taken a wierd turn. I much preferred the intellectual discussion about diversity and assimilation, but wanted to add my 2 cents. We are by no means well off, but my DH and I both have college and graduate degrees and professional jobs. Our household income is $250k and we don't dress our kids in designer clothes. It is silly to assume such. People put their money in things they value. We drive mediocre cars and all of our kids clothes come from Target. Some would judge that we perhaps spend too much money on vacations but that is what we value. I would rather spend our money on experiences than cotton that they will outgrow in a few months. And I could care less whether my kids fit in with kids who are wearing Juicy or Ralph or Uggs. We are at one of the schools that many refer to as a "big 3" and I still don't care about those things. Nor do I feel out of place feeling this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:11:39 here. I'm a SAHM right now ... definitely another reason to not apply for financial aid. We had great difficulty having our child and I am trying to have as much time as possible to enjoy him while he's still young. Sorry for the high emotion in my post ... something about the term "Billy Bob" really hurt.

Sorry PP, we started out using the term because we were talking about the impact of different names on similar resumes -- in reference to a study that compared responses to a name like "Lakeisha" versus a name like "Jennifer." I think I or someone else referred to what would happen if the name were "Billy Bob" -- which would be assumed to belong to a working class and/or southern white man -- given that there's prejudice against white working class southerners/rural folks. Then it got used as shorthand to refer to working class white folks. I think most posters did not mean it to be taken the way you took it but I warrant that it did morph into something unintended and perhaps we should have been more conscious of that! Apologies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay, I will concede that my child is probably not "Billy B" ... perhaps I just object to using that term to refer to ANYONE, regardless of how much education they have or whether they understand the importance of that same education for their own kids. It's hard to comprehend the importance of something you've never experienced first hand. Those great grand-daddies would have stood in the pouring rain to fix your flat tire ... they also would have probably told some pretty low-brow jokes out of your presence, but still decent people all in all.

?????

My grandfather worked on a WPA project, but I don't consider our family today to be of the class we are discussing, whatever you want to call it. This conversation has indeed taken a bizarre turn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mom of "Billy Bob" here. My DH is a mid-level computer techie in retail banking ... more income than (some) landscapers, but not by much! We dress our child in nice designer clothes (used of course) to help him feel comfortable around his peers, but it would be silly to try to hide our lack of income even if we wanted to do so. We don't. Like other families at private schools, we place a very high priority on good education and diversity (the original topic of this thread!) We do not receive financial aid because we are too proud to even apply. It is OUR choice to send child here and we do not expect other parents to help us do it. DC's four grand-daddies are the true Billy Bobs to which you refer ... one worked highway construction, one drove a delivery truck in NYC and spoke only Italian for most of his days, and the other two worked in the coal mines at night and in the fields in the daytime. It makes tears come to my eyes when I read the term "Billy Bob" here, even though I know you mean no disrespect. Hard working, decent people want more for their kids than they had ... they are often less intellectual only for lack of the chances we had rather than because they are stupid. Thanks for listening.

Mom, I can see where you are coming. My mom had me as a teenager, forced to leave high school and immigrated to this country while I was still and became a nanny (live in for the first few years). She still works as a domestic (her charges are now fully grown). Its this income that she used to send me to college and Harvard Law School (I also helped by working). It also hurts be when people equate income/job description with lack of intelligence. Some people are just more fortunate than others. This is one of the lesson that I plan to teach my only child!