Why do white parents think black kids are accepted into private school only because of their race?

[Anonymous]

I guess I'm back to where I was before, looking for an example of true socio-economic diversity. Not the family earning $100K per year with the not-for-profit job who was offered a scholarship. But the family that swam across the Rio Grande, the white OR minority kid with the mom who waits tables or mans a cash register.

[Anonymous]

Why? Do you believe that schools should accurately mirror society at large? Or the distribution in your immediate area? How widely would you define that area? If yes, why should schools do so? So that your child can benefit from seeing that people from different socioeconomic levels are all the same--or that they are all different? So that one or two disadvantaged children can have a shot at a better education?

My query is not meant to be hostile, although I realize it may sound that way. I am a member of an ethnic minority group and value diversity almost as a reflex, but I'm not sure what it would mean for Sidwell, say, to have a child from a family that swam across the Rio Grande. (And maybe it does? What do I know? In what ways would the school be better for it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay, I will concede that my child is probably not "Billy B" ... perhaps I just object to using that term to refer to ANYONE, regardless of how much education they have or whether they understand the importance of that same education for their own kids.

So you were just making it up to argue a semantic point, or maybe to persuade us that these schools are more diverse than we think? When you wrote "It makes tears come to my eyes when I read the term "Billy Bob" here," were you just messing with us?

I guess that's it for me and this board. Not because you're posing -- there are plenty of posts on DCUM that I suspect of being poseurs. But that you'd actually adopt a pose in order to make this one specific point -- that the schools are more diverse than we think -- is going too far. At least you admitted it. But how many people posting here as "admissions people", or anything they represent themselves to be, can we trust?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why? Do you believe that schools should accurately mirror society at large? Or the distribution in your immediate area? How widely would you define that area? If yes, why should schools do so? So that your child can benefit from seeing that people from different socioeconomic levels are all the same--or that they are all different? So that one or two disadvantaged children can have a shot at a better education?

My query is not meant to be hostile, although I realize it may sound that way. I am a member of an ethnic minority group and value diversity almost as a reflex, but I'm not sure what it would mean for Sidwell, say, to have a child from a family that swam across the Rio Grande. (And maybe it does? What do I know? In what ways would the school be better for it?

Don't know if the vast majority (or any) school can accurately reflect the diversity of society at large but I would expand on one thing on your list: so that my child should not be afraid of people who are different from her. It's not just seeing that people are all the same -- it's realizing that you don't have to be afraid of people because they're different. Speaking as a white person who used to be afraid to go east of the river, I don't want my kid to be afraid the way I used to be. So maybe she won't be going to school east of the river but it's important to me that she goes to school with kids from east of the river.

[Anonymous]

11:39 here for one last comment, I promise. Every single word I wrote was true, including the tears. My later post that said that my CHILD was probably not Billy Bob was only conceding that while he is of lower income than most at the school, he is not working class poor like his grandparents. But the sadness that I was trying to express really related more to prior generations of my family who some of this post appeared to dismiss as nothing but ignorant ne'er do wells. So I don't think I "admitted" quite what you are suggesting. But I do think, now that I am calmer, that I was a bit over-emotional on the point. I also do think that there is more socioeconomic diversity than people think at these much discussed schools ... but maybe not enough, given some of the attitudes expressed here.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the explanation. Maybe we need to clarify that "undeducated" does not mean "unintelligent", which may have been an unintended implication of some of the posts. I really don't think that anybody implied that they were "ne'er do wells".

Rather, speaking just for myself, I'm looking for a kid whose parents are not college educated, or maybe didn't even finish high school. Note that I'm not saying unintelligent! Kids whose parents can't help with algebra at night, because the parents didn't study it themselves, not because they are unintelligent. Kids whose parents can't guide them through some of the social situations that are so rampant at the privates, because the parents never had the opportunity to attend Cotillion or Mrs. Simpsons. Parents who, when the subject turns to college hijinks, will be unable to participate in the conversation. This, to me, is "working class", and there's no negative connotations here, it's just -- different from what you normally see at these schools.

So I'd still like to hear about "working class" families at these schools. Not just families earning $80K or $100K who are struggling financially, or who might have been working class a few generations ago.

[Anonymous]

This has gotten silly. Working class people aren't there so you and your kids can have a genuine "experience".

[Anonymous]

They live on my block and in my neighborhood. I'd like to see them at my dd's school.

[Anonymous]

Personally, I'd like to see all independent schools move to need-blind admissions, with a guarantee that they will make it financially possible for any accepted child to attend. I realize that's probably a pipe dream, but the closer they get to this goal, the better. Greater socioeconomic diversity would be a resulf of such policies. But I'm uncomfortable with arguments for diversity that seem to be based primarily on its educational value for "non-diverse" children--that is white, upper middle class kids. To put it bluntly, schools are not zoos. They don't need to have "one of each" just to show the broad diversity of the human kingdom. And the more exotic species certainly shouldn't be included (ok, this anology is breaking down) for the edification of the more ordinary ones.

[Anonymous]

OP here! Wow, didn't mean to start an online argument, but did welcome the varying points of view and valued input on what a private school does/does not/should look like. My post was largely in response to a thread where parents began to repeatedly imply that their white kid lost spaces at the 'big' privates in the area to 'minority' (and they meant black) students due to a school seeking to reach its quota. My kids scored near perfect on the WPPSI/WISC, and we worked hard to raise them to hold education in the highest regards. We are professionals who both work full time plus part time jobs to purposely NOT ask for financial assistance. In summary, our intelligent, gifted, hard working, upper middle income kids did not steal any of your kids' admission slots--so when you see them or any other black student--know that they deserve to be there, and are more likely than not funded 100% by their family. (And ps--as one poster stated, the majority of FA kids are white, and organizations like the Black Student Fund only provide funding to the neediest of the needy black kids--and only offer about $1000 once in a student's private school career.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This has gotten silly. Working class people aren't there so you and your kids can have a genuine "experience".

Who said anything about me and my kids having an "experience"? I was talking about the working class people themselves, and their chances for admission to the top schools. Apparently they don't get aid, or at least nobody here has said their school offers it.

[Anonymous]

So is it correct to conclude that the white kids getting aid are generally from educated families, but maybe earning under $150K?

[Anonymous]

Please, somebody, tell me that your school offers aid to WORKING CLASS families of ANY RACE where the parents are less educated (but not less intelligent)! The point is not about diversity for the rest of us. It's about who gets aid and who doesn't, i.e. the composition of this "diversity".

[Anonymous]

Do you feel strongly enough about this to suggest that if you have two equally qualified candiates from low-income families, aid should go to the child with uneducated parents over the child who has educated parents? There is a limited pool of aid and a very large pool of well-educated parents who have chosen relatively low-income careers (that is, low-income compared to the median income at most private schools). I would conjecture that the pool of uneducated parents who apply to well-known DC private schools is small by comparison. Is it more important to treat everyone in the low-income pool equally or to tip the odds in favor of children with uneducated parents? Personally I haven't made up my mind on these questions and am curious as to your perspective.

[Anonymous]

So I asked a simple question: where are the working class kids (you know, the kids of secretaries and waitresses and lawn workers) at our private schools? They aren't at mine.

Here are the answers:
1. My school has some low-income families earning under $150K.
2. I used to work at a school that gave some scholarships to some white kids (no income specified).
3. Why are you insulting my grandparents?
4. My middle-class minority kid is the only diversity you should want and/or expect.
5. It's "all about me" and our kids' experiences at the school. Who cares about whether deserving working class kids are excluded from the admissions/scholarship process?

Hilarious. You couldn't make this stuff up.

Go ahead, flame away. I'm leaving for good now, and I don't even have the interest to lurk and see how this conversation continues.