Why do women always get mad at the other woman?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From either perspective - the spouse that cheats, the other person that has an affair with someone who is married, the spouse that is cheated on - it is always easier to blame your problems on someone else than looking internally to see how you personally contributed to the situation. Affairs don't happen in a vacuum.

Life is hard. Marriage is even harder. Add kids, bills, jobs, stress.... saying "affairs don't happen in a vacuum" is such a cop out. It shifts responsibility from the cheater to the victimized spouse.

Next please tell me "rape doesn't happen in a vacuum - obviously she shouldn't have been wearing that/should have been out late/shouldn't have walked home alone..."

It's blaming the victim, pure and simple.

Marriage vows don't say you vow to be faithful as long as your spouse DESERVES your fidelity. There are no conditions on the committment.

If you want to cheat have the balls to get divorced first.

See - it's easier to be the martyr or victim than take ownership of the role you played in the dissolution of the marriage. Then maybe people will give you sympathy for your plight in life. Sad, sad, spouse who was cheated on. Feel much better?

You married the cheater. You probably even had suspicions but made up excuses when things weren't feeling right. Someone can only do to you what you give them an opportunity to do.

The rape analogy is pathetic BTW. Like comparing apples to oranges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From either perspective - the spouse that cheats, the other person that has an affair with someone who is married, the spouse that is cheated on - it is always easier to blame your problems on someone else than looking internally to see how you personally contributed to the situation. Affairs don't happen in a vacuum.

Life is hard. Marriage is even harder. Add kids, bills, jobs, stress.... saying "affairs don't happen in a vacuum" is such a cop out. It shifts responsibility from the cheater to the victimized spouse.

Next please tell me "rape doesn't happen in a vacuum - obviously she shouldn't have been wearing that/should have been out late/shouldn't have walked home alone..."

It's blaming the victim, pure and simple.

Marriage vows don't say you vow to be faithful as long as your spouse DESERVES your fidelity. There are no conditions on the committment.

If you want to cheat have the balls to get divorced first.

See - it's easier to be the martyr or victim than take ownership of the role you played in the dissolution of the marriage. Then maybe people will give you sympathy for your plight in life. Sad, sad, spouse who was cheated on. Feel much better?

You married the cheater. You probably even had suspicions but made up excuses when things weren't feeling right. Someone can only do to you what you give them an opportunity to do.

The rape analogy is pathetic BTW. Like comparing apples to oranges.

New poster but this doesn't make any sense. A marriage ending, a divorce...these are totally separate from cheating. You don't have to cheat to get out of a bad marraige. You can take responsiblity for a marriage ending without saying, "I deserved to be cheated on."

Wow, it looks like you cheated, your marriage ended, and you didn't learn a thing. What a waste.

[Anonymous]

PP, I totally agree with you, HOWEVER, its really easy to say that from the outside looking in. Sometimes when you're in a bad situation you fumble and things just don't look as clear as they should.