Are we ready for the Thanksgiving Vent thread?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m with my mom, who doesn’t drive anymore and has replaced it with her hobby of tracking the nationality of her Uber drivers and then ranking nationalities in conversation but doing so with zero context:

“People from Ghana are so kind and generous! And responsible drivers!”

Also people from Venezuela are very fashionable, just fyi.

Omggggg 😂😂😂

I love your mom! At least she has nice things to say, from her samples of one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ILs sit in total silence. They speak to no one including their son and grandkids, unkess its answerin a question. Any and all socializing is torture for these people. I am indeed afraid that my kids have inherited this defect and as my husband ages he seems to be getting more like them.
My dad sits in blissful solitude because he "forgot" his hearing aids again.
My mom is telling my ILs various sob stories trying desperately to get a reaction or sympathy out of them. She will get nothing and end up tipsy on my deck, in tears, asking why I married into such a weird family.

They just want to be left alone! Why is your mother torturing them?! She can chit chat with someone else.

Introverted people like being at the fringes of the event, without engaging too much socially.

I would much rather have introverted people as guests than have people who cannot let a silence go unchallenged.

Sorry, that's just weird with FAMILY. I somewhat understand your point in other situations, but this is not normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My in-laws are from a third world country and grew up without any sense of food safety. We are at their house and every single thing I've personally observed them prepping so far has some sort of food safety problem.

At this point I think I am only comfortable eating the things I am cooking myself, and not even the pie I brought, since they took it out of the fridge after I put it in and left it in the warm garage for 24 hours.

The interesting thing is that they probably won't get sick, if they've been eating foods with moderate bacterial loads all their lives. But YOU will, because your body is not used to it. This leads to a permanent difference of opinion about food safety. My husband escaped a third world country as a child, and his family is quite lax with food safety. His older brother ferments rice in the rice cooker and eats it (this is not recommended). DH has eaten rotten and moldy food with no side effects, except that one time when a rotten radish sent him into bradycardia. I, on the other hand, cannot eat like this, and I don't let him serve iffy dishes to the kids, who have westernized digestive systems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ILs sit in total silence. They speak to no one including their son and grandkids, unkess its answerin a question. Any and all socializing is torture for these people. I am indeed afraid that my kids have inherited this defect and as my husband ages he seems to be getting more like them.
My dad sits in blissful solitude because he "forgot" his hearing aids again.
My mom is telling my ILs various sob stories trying desperately to get a reaction or sympathy out of them. She will get nothing and end up tipsy on my deck, in tears, asking why I married into such a weird family.

They just want to be left alone! Why is your mother torturing them?! She can chit chat with someone else.

Introverted people like being at the fringes of the event, without engaging too much socially.

I would much rather have introverted people as guests than have people who cannot let a silence go unchallenged.

Sorry, that's just weird with FAMILY. I somewhat understand your point in other situations, but this is not normal.

I know it's not normal for you, but it's not something they can control. They're clearly on the autism spectrum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My in-laws are from a third world country and grew up without any sense of food safety. We are at their house and every single thing I've personally observed them prepping so far has some sort of food safety problem.

At this point I think I am only comfortable eating the things I am cooking myself, and not even the pie I brought, since they took it out of the fridge after I put it in and left it in the warm garage for 24 hours.

The interesting thing is that they probably won't get sick, if they've been eating foods with moderate bacterial loads all their lives. But YOU will, because your body is not used to it. This leads to a permanent difference of opinion about food safety. My husband escaped a third world country as a child, and his family is quite lax with food safety. His older brother ferments rice in the rice cooker and eats it (this is not recommended). DH has eaten rotten and moldy food with no side effects, except that one time when a rotten radish sent him into bradycardia. I, on the other hand, cannot eat like this, and I don't let him serve iffy dishes to the kids, who have westernized digestive systems.

Oh yes, we have been married 15 years, I am well aware by now that only the first worlders will get sick!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ILs sit in total silence. They speak to no one including their son and grandkids, unkess its answerin a question. Any and all socializing is torture for these people. I am indeed afraid that my kids have inherited this defect and as my husband ages he seems to be getting more like them.
My dad sits in blissful solitude because he "forgot" his hearing aids again.
My mom is telling my ILs various sob stories trying desperately to get a reaction or sympathy out of them. She will get nothing and end up tipsy on my deck, in tears, asking why I married into such a weird family.

They just want to be left alone! Why is your mother torturing them?! She can chit chat with someone else.

Introverted people like being at the fringes of the event, without engaging too much socially.

I would much rather have introverted people as guests than have people who cannot let a silence go unchallenged.

Sorry, that's just weird with FAMILY. I somewhat understand your point in other situations, but this is not normal.

NP and life hint for you: Treating introverted people like they are “weird” and “not normal” is part of why they flee from yappers like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ILs sit in total silence. They speak to no one including their son and grandkids, unkess its answerin a question. Any and all socializing is torture for these people. I am indeed afraid that my kids have inherited this defect and as my husband ages he seems to be getting more like them.
My dad sits in blissful solitude because he "forgot" his hearing aids again.
My mom is telling my ILs various sob stories trying desperately to get a reaction or sympathy out of them. She will get nothing and end up tipsy on my deck, in tears, asking why I married into such a weird family.

They just want to be left alone! Why is your mother torturing them?! She can chit chat with someone else.

Introverted people like being at the fringes of the event, without engaging too much socially.

I would much rather have introverted people as guests than have people who cannot let a silence go unchallenged.

There's no one else to talk to. The joys of a small family. She's dying to chit chat with someone new and they won't do it.
Truly, these people go beyond introversion into rudeness. "Do you have any plans for summer?" "No." "How's your daughter in city?" Awkward pause "she's fine." "Are you looking forward to grandkids performance next weekend? He's been practicing a lot." Awkward pause as they look at each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ILs sit in total silence. They speak to no one including their son and grandkids, unkess its answerin a question. Any and all socializing is torture for these people. I am indeed afraid that my kids have inherited this defect and as my husband ages he seems to be getting more like them.
My dad sits in blissful solitude because he "forgot" his hearing aids again.
My mom is telling my ILs various sob stories trying desperately to get a reaction or sympathy out of them. She will get nothing and end up tipsy on my deck, in tears, asking why I married into such a weird family.

They just want to be left alone! Why is your mother torturing them?! She can chit chat with someone else.

Introverted people like being at the fringes of the event, without engaging too much socially.

I would much rather have introverted people as guests than have people who cannot let a silence go unchallenged.

There's no one else to talk to. The joys of a small family. She's dying to chit chat with someone new and they won't do it.
Truly, these people go beyond introversion into rudeness. "Do you have any plans for summer?" "No." "How's your daughter in city?" Awkward pause "she's fine." "Are you looking forward to grandkids performance next weekend? He's been practicing a lot." Awkward pause as they look at each other.

Your mom has to stop thinking of them as rude. They are wired differently. I personally would not like this and want social interaction, even though I’m an introvert, but there’s a continuum and they sound on the far end. Any way you can invite a couple of friends next year to add to the mix?

[Anonymous]

I come back here every year just to read this thread!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:WOW, YOUR DAUGHTER SURE LIKES TO SLEEP!
GRANDDAUGHTER SUREEEEEE LIKES TO SLEEP!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU ALL SLEEP SO LATE!
GOOD MORNING, SLEEPYHEAD!
WOW, THERE SHE IS!

This nonsense goes on from 6 a.m. forward.

Same. We are not in that person's house today, but we hear this all the time when we are.

I'm adding this to my list of things never to say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This year I have my kids for thanksgiving. I’m not a holiday person, and overall hate cooking and cleaning, so usually for holidays we’ll just go out or get a pizza.

My new BF (who doesn’t have kids) grew up in a very broken family and later on foster care, so my holiday plan troubled him greatly. He likes the idea of the wholesome family during the holidays. So he said I can’t do pizza, don’t worry, he’ll handle thanksgiving dinner.

Then every night this week has talked about how stressed he is trying to plan dinner and asking me a million questions. Should we do ham or turkey? Should we cook or get it catered? Who should we buy it from? What do we do if it isn’t shipped in time?

Finally I was like omg, shut up, I’ll just handle it. So now here I am making a damn thanksgiving dinner I didn’t want to make so my BF can try to heal his childhood trauma.

And yes, I know I did this to myself.

At least on the plus side, I found a recipe for a one sheet pan thanksgiving dinner. So just a matter of sticking things on the pan over 3 hours. Hoping it’s not too difficult.

This whole post is sad and IMO an example of someone who doesn't know how to give thanks.

I disagree. She's probably tired because she does so much already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My in-laws are from a third world country and grew up without any sense of food safety. We are at their house and every single thing I've personally observed them prepping so far has some sort of food safety problem.

At this point I think I am only comfortable eating the things I am cooking myself, and not even the pie I brought, since they took it out of the fridge after I put it in and left it in the warm garage for 24 hours.

The interesting thing is that they probably won't get sick, if they've been eating foods with moderate bacterial loads all their lives. But YOU will, because your body is not used to it. This leads to a permanent difference of opinion about food safety. My husband escaped a third world country as a child, and his family is quite lax with food safety. His older brother ferments rice in the rice cooker and eats it (this is not recommended). DH has eaten rotten and moldy food with no side effects, except that one time when a rotten radish sent him into bradycardia. I, on the other hand, cannot eat like this, and I don't let him serve iffy dishes to the kids, who have westernized digestive systems.

Steak tips PP here. This is interesting. My DH definitely grew up in a home with looser ideas about food safety than I was raised with. He now follows recommended rules about food safety (his brother, on the other hand...) but I have a WAY more sensitive stomach than he does. I've gotten food poisoning twice in the years we've been together and both times it was after eating something he also ate (once after eating identical entrees at a restaurant, the second time after splitting a salad with him from the grocery store). He had no symptoms at all while I had the standard 48-72 hour effects, it was so baffling.

I've previously thought that maybe our family's approaches to food safety were the result of different constitutions. Like maybe my family is stricter about it because we are more sensitive to food issues as a group and therefore learned to be more careful. But the suggestion that maybe his stomach is stronger because he was exposed to more bacteria on food as a kid is interesting.

Neither of us are eating the steak tips though! Update: we have convinced BIL they don't work with today's meal. They are in the fridge pending a decision tomorrow. They will not be consumed, we're hoping he just forgets about them and we can toss them after he leaves. If necessary I'll pull out FDA guidelines. Ugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Got here just before 10 am. Its now 11:57 am and my parents have already had two screaming matches.

Tell us more. What are they arguing about?

First was because my mom didn't check to see if my dad left pans in the oven before she preheated it for brunch. The man has been storing pans in the oven my entire life, this is not new. And yet......mom opens the over to put in muffins and proceeds to start screaming, complete with all sorts of fun words my 8 year old had not heard before. Dad yells back about how she's an idiot and this is the third time this week she hasn't checked the oven. Great way to start things.

Then my dad goes to start the smoker and apparently something is broken. Tells us change of plans, he'll be doing the turkey on the grill. Mom starts yelling "I told you to check it earlier this week, but noooooooooo! You never [ducking] listen to me!" He screams back that if she was so worried about it she should have checked it and she's not as smart as she thinks she is.

They've long barely tolerated each other, but I hadn't realized how bad things had gotten. They're just downright nasty. We're not staying with them, thank god. And we go back home tomorrow. But, jeez, this has been unpleasant.

I’d pack my family up and leave. Don’t expose your kids to that toxicity. And yes I had to do that when oldest was little and aunt went on a tirade. Sorry we don’t tolerate that BS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone else just have alarmingly stupid ILs? Like so dumb that sometimes when they talk I worry that there is some kind of genetic issue and my kids will inherit it? Because I do.

My BIL just announced that he brought steak tips (...why??) but that he packed them in his luggage for some reason (he also brought a cooler, he drove, but he put the steak tips in with his clothes for some reason). He left them there for almost two days and now he's asking me what he should do with them. I'm like "throw them away?" But he wants to salvage them. We are making a typical Thanksgiving dinner. We had asked him if he wanted to make anything or if he had any requests for dinner and he said no, whatever we made was good. But now he's pestering me about these freaking steak tips while my DH and I are both in the midst of making like 6 different items. I am currently in the bathroom texting with my DH, who is in the kitchen, and we are trying to figure out how to deal with this. BIL is very sensitive and prone to blowing up if he feels slighted. Sigh.

I don't normally drink but will be pouring my first glass of wine at 1pm today.

Does he have dementia? Eating his rotten steak tips good will get everyone sick! How could a normal person even consider this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WOW, YOUR DAUGHTER SURE LIKES TO SLEEP!
GRANDDAUGHTER SUREEEEEE LIKES TO SLEEP!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU ALL SLEEP SO LATE!
GOOD MORNING, SLEEPYHEAD!
WOW, THERE SHE IS!

This nonsense goes on from 6 a.m. forward.

Same. We are not in that person's house today, but we hear this all the time when we are.

I'm adding this to my list of things never to say.

My dad used to say "She lives!" when I'd get up at like 9am on a holiday. So grating. I will never understand people who are resentful that someone is getting rest. Unless there are chores to be done and someone has an obligation or commitment to do them early, why do you care?