Is there any way of knowing if a woman will keep her strong libido over time?

[Anonymous]

No, there is no way to make this a certainty.

You should pick someone with whom you have good sexual chemistry and who likes to have sex at about the same frequency as you do. If the chemistry and frequency match is not there to begin with, it won't last. If you do have these things, I think it has a better likelihood to last though it will change over time. We all change and it's not a negative.

But you can't predict. People change, health issues happen to both people, and hormonal changes happen. It's impossible to ensure getting exactly what you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When dating someone in their 30s or early 40s, and the sex in the relationship is great. Is there a way of knowing if the woman will maintain her drive as she ages? This is my biggest concern as a man.

Why would you expect a woman's libido to remain constant as she ages? This question seems preposterous. Of course her libido will start declining at some point. There are outliers (e.g., 80 year olds who have sex everyday) but they're just that "outliers."

I'm a 60 year old man and my libido started declining noticeably in my early-mid 50s. I imagine some experience libido loss earlier, some later, but if you live long enough almost everyone likely experiences some decline.

This. My husband is the same. We still enjoy it in our 60s but not as often. It's fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When dating someone in their 30s or early 40s, and the sex in the relationship is great. Is there a way of knowing if the woman will maintain her drive as she ages? This is my biggest concern as a man.

And her biggest concern sexually is whether you’ll have ED by age 35 or 40. Happens more often than anyone admits. Nothing as terrible as a crashed limp one when you’re ready.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, almost everyone's hormones fall off a cliff at some point.

If yours don't, you need a sex doll, not an actual woman. Or, you need to date / marry a desperate poor young woman.

If your hormones fall off, you still have an obligation to meet your husband half way and fulfill your marital duties. It is your responsibility to figure it out instead of leaving your husband hanging. For one partner to unilaterally declare the marriage celibate is cruel.

Meeting your husband half way does not make you a sex doll; it makes you a loving and caring partner. Compromise is part of marriage, it is common sense.

Maybe it's just a phrasing thing, but the idea of my wife "fulfilling her marital duties" makes my skin crawl. I want to keep having sex, but I want her to be an enthusiastic participant. If she's not, it's - at *best* - an unnecessarily complicated form of masturbation. I know I've heard wives around here say that "wanting her to want it" is expecting too much; but that's exactly what I want.

I 100% agree. The men who want their wives to have sex with them out of "duty" when they don't want to sound so creepy. Why do you want to have sex with someone who isn't enthusiastically into it? These men see women as a series of holes to fulfil them, not as human beings. It's extremely rapey.

Sure, it’s selfish to expect someone to have sex with you out of duty. The point is, if a woman actually loves her husband, but has no desire to have sex with him, it’s her responsibility to work on herself and figure out why. Could be medical, could be mental, or could be a combination. To just say sorry, not interested, and that’s that, is selfish.

People are allowed to decline sex. Just because you feel like it doesn't mean that she has to.

Breaking news - women are people too! Not just animated sex dolls!

It's like you went out of your way to miss PP's point. She should decline sex if she doesn't feel like it. But she should also make an effort to figure out why she doesn't feel like it and try to fix that. Like PP said, maybe it's medical, maybe it's mental, maybe it's a combination. (And, I'd add, it could be something her partner is or is not doing -- but not always, and that shouldn't be an assumption that crowds out the other possibilities for why she's not feeling it.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is there any way of knowing if a man will turn into an asshat and a burdensome man-child down the line, after family responsibilities kick in?

Look at how his father acts around the house. Look at how he treats servers and others who he perceives as subordinate or inferior. Look at whether his mother babies him and how he reacts to that treatment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When dating someone in their 30s or early 40s, and the sex in the relationship is great. Is there a way of knowing if the woman will maintain her drive as she ages? This is my biggest concern as a man.

Why would you expect a woman's libido to remain constant as she ages? This question seems preposterous. Of course her libido will start declining at some point. There are outliers (e.g., 80 year olds who have sex everyday) but they're just that "outliers."

I'm a 60 year old man and my libido started declining noticeably in my early-mid 50s. I imagine some experience libido loss earlier, some later, but if you live long enough almost everyone likely experiences some decline.

This. My husband is the same. We still enjoy it in our 60s but not as often. It's fine.

Yup. The trick is to have your libidos decline at about the same rate. This probably mostly comes down to luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, almost everyone's hormones fall off a cliff at some point.

If yours don't, you need a sex doll, not an actual woman. Or, you need to date / marry a desperate poor young woman.

If your hormones fall off, you still have an obligation to meet your husband half way and fulfill your marital duties. It is your responsibility to figure it out instead of leaving your husband hanging. For one partner to unilaterally declare the marriage celibate is cruel.

Meeting your husband half way does not make you a sex doll; it makes you a loving and caring partner. Compromise is part of marriage, it is common sense.

Maybe it's just a phrasing thing, but the idea of my wife "fulfilling her marital duties" makes my skin crawl. I want to keep having sex, but I want her to be an enthusiastic participant. If she's not, it's - at *best* - an unnecessarily complicated form of masturbation. I know I've heard wives around here say that "wanting her to want it" is expecting too much; but that's exactly what I want.

I 100% agree. The men who want their wives to have sex with them out of "duty" when they don't want to sound so creepy. Why do you want to have sex with someone who isn't enthusiastically into it? These men see women as a series of holes to fulfil them, not as human beings. It's extremely rapey.

Sure, it’s selfish to expect someone to have sex with you out of duty. The point is, if a woman actually loves her husband, but has no desire to have sex with him, it’s her responsibility to work on herself and figure out why. Could be medical, could be mental, or could be a combination. To just say sorry, not interested, and that’s that, is selfish.

People are allowed to decline sex. Just because you feel like it doesn't mean that she has to.

Breaking news - women are people too! Not just animated sex dolls!

This is absolutely true and a marriage doesn’t just grant you carte blanche access to your partner’s body. I’m a DH and honestly, I don’t want sex with someone who doesn’t want me and isn’t into it. I guess that’s the issue here - its not WANTING your partner thats tough. Duty sex sucks for both people but I guess if you want stay connected and meep the relationship alive its something people do.

In dead bedroom marriages its really tough for the high libido partner. Its like you married me and I’m a high earner, but, I really start to resent the stress of my job and its not healthy for me. I decide without agreement from you partner that I’m done working, or I just quiet quit. Its a major change to our relationship and you ptobably would divorce me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When dating someone in their 30s or early 40s, and the sex in the relationship is great. Is there a way of knowing if the woman will maintain her drive as she ages? This is my biggest concern as a man.

Does she eat pumpkin seed regularly? If yes...then no problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, almost everyone's hormones fall off a cliff at some point.

If yours don't, you need a sex doll, not an actual woman. Or, you need to date / marry a desperate poor young woman.

If your hormones fall off, you still have an obligation to meet your husband half way and fulfill your marital duties. It is your responsibility to figure it out instead of leaving your husband hanging. For one partner to unilaterally declare the marriage celibate is cruel.

Meeting your husband half way does not make you a sex doll; it makes you a loving and caring partner. Compromise is part of marriage, it is common sense.

Maybe it's just a phrasing thing, but the idea of my wife "fulfilling her marital duties" makes my skin crawl. I want to keep having sex, but I want her to be an enthusiastic participant. If she's not, it's - at *best* - an unnecessarily complicated form of masturbation. I know I've heard wives around here say that "wanting her to want it" is expecting too much; but that's exactly what I want.

I 100% agree. The men who want their wives to have sex with them out of "duty" when they don't want to sound so creepy. Why do you want to have sex with someone who isn't enthusiastically into it? These men see women as a series of holes to fulfil them, not as human beings. It's extremely rapey.

Sure, it’s selfish to expect someone to have sex with you out of duty. The point is, if a woman actually loves her husband, but has no desire to have sex with him, it’s her responsibility to work on herself and figure out why. Could be medical, could be mental, or could be a combination. To just say sorry, not interested, and that’s that, is selfish.

People are allowed to decline sex. Just because you feel like it doesn't mean that she has to.

Breaking news - women are people too! Not just animated sex dolls!

This is absolutely true and a marriage doesn’t just grant you carte blanche access to your partner’s body. I’m a DH and honestly, I don’t want sex with someone who doesn’t want me and isn’t into it. I guess that’s the issue here - its not WANTING your partner thats tough. Duty sex sucks for both people but I guess if you want stay connected and meep the relationship alive its something people do.

In dead bedroom marriages its really tough for the high libido partner. Its like you married me and I’m a high earner, but, I really start to resent the stress of my job and its not healthy for me. I decide without agreement from you partner that I’m done working, or I just quiet quit. Its a major change to our relationship and you ptobably would divorce me.

Yup

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, almost everyone's hormones fall off a cliff at some point.

If yours don't, you need a sex doll, not an actual woman. Or, you need to date / marry a desperate poor young woman.

If your hormones fall off, you still have an obligation to meet your husband half way and fulfill your marital duties. It is your responsibility to figure it out instead of leaving your husband hanging. For one partner to unilaterally declare the marriage celibate is cruel.

Meeting your husband half way does not make you a sex doll; it makes you a loving and caring partner. Compromise is part of marriage, it is common sense.

Maybe it's just a phrasing thing, but the idea of my wife "fulfilling her marital duties" makes my skin crawl. I want to keep having sex, but I want her to be an enthusiastic participant. If she's not, it's - at *best* - an unnecessarily complicated form of masturbation. I know I've heard wives around here say that "wanting her to want it" is expecting too much; but that's exactly what I want.

I 100% agree. The men who want their wives to have sex with them out of "duty" when they don't want to sound so creepy. Why do you want to have sex with someone who isn't enthusiastically into it? These men see women as a series of holes to fulfil them, not as human beings. It's extremely rapey.

Sure, it’s selfish to expect someone to have sex with you out of duty. The point is, if a woman actually loves her husband, but has no desire to have sex with him, it’s her responsibility to work on herself and figure out why. Could be medical, could be mental, or could be a combination. To just say sorry, not interested, and that’s that, is selfish.

People are allowed to decline sex. Just because you feel like it doesn't mean that she has to.

Breaking news - women are people too! Not just animated sex dolls!

It's like you went out of your way to miss PP's point. She should decline sex if she doesn't feel like it. But she should also make an effort to figure out why she doesn't feel like it and try to fix that. Like PP said, maybe it's medical, maybe it's mental, maybe it's a combination. (And, I'd add, it could be something her partner is or is not doing -- but not always, and that shouldn't be an assumption that crowds out the other possibilities for why she's not feeling it.)

Or maybe she just doesn't feel like it. It isn't always some sort of medical issue. You are the person that would tell your wife to go on drugs to "fix" her so you could have a hole to f***, arent you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, almost everyone's hormones fall off a cliff at some point.

If yours don't, you need a sex doll, not an actual woman. Or, you need to date / marry a desperate poor young woman.

If your hormones fall off, you still have an obligation to meet your husband half way and fulfill your marital duties. It is your responsibility to figure it out instead of leaving your husband hanging. For one partner to unilaterally declare the marriage celibate is cruel.

Meeting your husband half way does not make you a sex doll; it makes you a loving and caring partner. Compromise is part of marriage, it is common sense.

Maybe it's just a phrasing thing, but the idea of my wife "fulfilling her marital duties" makes my skin crawl. I want to keep having sex, but I want her to be an enthusiastic participant. If she's not, it's - at *best* - an unnecessarily complicated form of masturbation. I know I've heard wives around here say that "wanting her to want it" is expecting too much; but that's exactly what I want.

I 100% agree. The men who want their wives to have sex with them out of "duty" when they don't want to sound so creepy. Why do you want to have sex with someone who isn't enthusiastically into it? These men see women as a series of holes to fulfil them, not as human beings. It's extremely rapey.

Sure, it’s selfish to expect someone to have sex with you out of duty. The point is, if a woman actually loves her husband, but has no desire to have sex with him, it’s her responsibility to work on herself and figure out why. Could be medical, could be mental, or could be a combination. To just say sorry, not interested, and that’s that, is selfish.

People are allowed to decline sex. Just because you feel like it doesn't mean that she has to.

Breaking news - women are people too! Not just animated sex dolls!

This is absolutely true and a marriage doesn’t just grant you carte blanche access to your partner’s body. I’m a DH and honestly, I don’t want sex with someone who doesn’t want me and isn’t into it. I guess that’s the issue here - its not WANTING your partner thats tough. Duty sex sucks for both people but I guess if you want stay connected and meep the relationship alive its something people do.

In dead bedroom marriages its really tough for the high libido partner. Its like you married me and I’m a high earner, but, I really start to resent the stress of my job and its not healthy for me. I decide without agreement from you partner that I’m done working, or I just quiet quit. Its a major change to our relationship and you ptobably would divorce me.

Not really how my marriage works, but you do you. If my husband was in an unhealthy position due to his job, I'd absolutely support him quitting. If your wife was in an unhealthy position and declining sex, I'd have assumed you'd support her. I guess you'll just leave instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, almost everyone's hormones fall off a cliff at some point.

If yours don't, you need a sex doll, not an actual woman. Or, you need to date / marry a desperate poor young woman.

If your hormones fall off, you still have an obligation to meet your husband half way and fulfill your marital duties. It is your responsibility to figure it out instead of leaving your husband hanging. For one partner to unilaterally declare the marriage celibate is cruel.

Meeting your husband half way does not make you a sex doll; it makes you a loving and caring partner. Compromise is part of marriage, it is common sense.

Maybe it's just a phrasing thing, but the idea of my wife "fulfilling her marital duties" makes my skin crawl. I want to keep having sex, but I want her to be an enthusiastic participant. If she's not, it's - at *best* - an unnecessarily complicated form of masturbation. I know I've heard wives around here say that "wanting her to want it" is expecting too much; but that's exactly what I want.

I 100% agree. The men who want their wives to have sex with them out of "duty" when they don't want to sound so creepy. Why do you want to have sex with someone who isn't enthusiastically into it? These men see women as a series of holes to fulfil them, not as human beings. It's extremely rapey.

Sure, it’s selfish to expect someone to have sex with you out of duty. The point is, if a woman actually loves her husband, but has no desire to have sex with him, it’s her responsibility to work on herself and figure out why. Could be medical, could be mental, or could be a combination. To just say sorry, not interested, and that’s that, is selfish.

People are allowed to decline sex. Just because you feel like it doesn't mean that she has to.

Breaking news - women are people too! Not just animated sex dolls!

It's like you went out of your way to miss PP's point. She should decline sex if she doesn't feel like it. But she should also make an effort to figure out why she doesn't feel like it and try to fix that. Like PP said, maybe it's medical, maybe it's mental, maybe it's a combination. (And, I'd add, it could be something her partner is or is not doing -- but not always, and that shouldn't be an assumption that crowds out the other possibilities for why she's not feeling it.)

Or maybe she just doesn't feel like it. It isn't always some sort of medical issue. You are the person that would tell your wife to go on drugs to "fix" her so you could have a hole to f***, arent you.

I’m sorry, what’s the recommendation when a man has ED?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, almost everyone's hormones fall off a cliff at some point.

If yours don't, you need a sex doll, not an actual woman. Or, you need to date / marry a desperate poor young woman.

If your hormones fall off, you still have an obligation to meet your husband half way and fulfill your marital duties. It is your responsibility to figure it out instead of leaving your husband hanging. For one partner to unilaterally declare the marriage celibate is cruel.

Meeting your husband half way does not make you a sex doll; it makes you a loving and caring partner. Compromise is part of marriage, it is common sense.

Maybe it's just a phrasing thing, but the idea of my wife "fulfilling her marital duties" makes my skin crawl. I want to keep having sex, but I want her to be an enthusiastic participant. If she's not, it's - at *best* - an unnecessarily complicated form of masturbation. I know I've heard wives around here say that "wanting her to want it" is expecting too much; but that's exactly what I want.

I 100% agree. The men who want their wives to have sex with them out of "duty" when they don't want to sound so creepy. Why do you want to have sex with someone who isn't enthusiastically into it? These men see women as a series of holes to fulfil them, not as human beings. It's extremely rapey.

Sure, it’s selfish to expect someone to have sex with you out of duty. The point is, if a woman actually loves her husband, but has no desire to have sex with him, it’s her responsibility to work on herself and figure out why. Could be medical, could be mental, or could be a combination. To just say sorry, not interested, and that’s that, is selfish.

People are allowed to decline sex. Just because you feel like it doesn't mean that she has to.

Breaking news - women are people too! Not just animated sex dolls!

It's like you went out of your way to miss PP's point. She should decline sex if she doesn't feel like it. But she should also make an effort to figure out why she doesn't feel like it and try to fix that. Like PP said, maybe it's medical, maybe it's mental, maybe it's a combination. (And, I'd add, it could be something her partner is or is not doing -- but not always, and that shouldn't be an assumption that crowds out the other possibilities for why she's not feeling it.)

Or maybe she just doesn't feel like it. It isn't always some sort of medical issue. You are the person that would tell your wife to go on drugs to "fix" her so you could have a hole to f***, arent you.

I’m sorry, what’s the recommendation when a man has ED?

This isn't the flex you think it is, because there is not even an equivalent little blue pill for women. So much money and research into keeping old mens boners, but none into womens health.

[Anonymous]

"In dead bedroom marriages its really tough for the high libido partner. Its like you married me and I’m a high earner, but, I really start to resent the stress of my job and its not healthy for me. I decide without agreement from you partner that I’m done working, or I just quiet quit. Its a major change to our relationship and you ptobably would divorce me.

Not really how my marriage works, but you do you. If my husband was in an unhealthy position due to his job, I'd absolutely support him quitting. If your wife was in an unhealthy position and declining sex, I'd have assumed you'd support her. I guess you'll just leave instead."



You ignored the crucial words "I decide without agreement from you." Most spouses, of either gender, aren't okay with the other deciding unilaterally to change something so central to the marriage as financial resources or physical intimacy. And most responsible adults don't just quit a job that their family depends on without first making a plan and lining up another job first. Similarly, a spouse having low interest in sex would be expected to make a plan for figuring out how to mitigate the fall out from stopping sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, almost everyone's hormones fall off a cliff at some point.

If yours don't, you need a sex doll, not an actual woman. Or, you need to date / marry a desperate poor young woman.

If your hormones fall off, you still have an obligation to meet your husband half way and fulfill your marital duties. It is your responsibility to figure it out instead of leaving your husband hanging. For one partner to unilaterally declare the marriage celibate is cruel.

Meeting your husband half way does not make you a sex doll; it makes you a loving and caring partner. Compromise is part of marriage, it is common sense.

Maybe it's just a phrasing thing, but the idea of my wife "fulfilling her marital duties" makes my skin crawl. I want to keep having sex, but I want her to be an enthusiastic participant. If she's not, it's - at *best* - an unnecessarily complicated form of masturbation. I know I've heard wives around here say that "wanting her to want it" is expecting too much; but that's exactly what I want.

That was my point. If wife doesn’t feel like having sex, it is her responsibility to figure out the cause of lack of desire and fix it. So she can enthusiastically have sex. If you don’t see it as your responsibility then you will never put in the effort to fix your issues. And that is cruel to your husband

And if the cause of lack of desire is that the husband is a lazy piece of crap who does nothing around the house, and leaves all childcare, cooking and cleaning to her, is he going to step up? Or is he just going to keep demanding sex and potentially tell her to get on drugs so he can f*** her? It's like you've never spoken to a real wife before.

Eff this mess. Her fault for staying in a relationship she doesn't want to be in. If you're that unhappy, you leave. If you stay because you want the perks, the money, the house, whatever, then you do your job as a wife. The woman in this pathetic example isn't a "real wife" she's a whiny wannabe victim of her own crap decisionmaking.

God, I hope you’re a troll, because otherwise, how embarrassing for you.