Teen stepdad won’t pay for college

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why should stepdad pay for it when mom has a high income? Thats a bizzare expctation.

Where did you read that mom has a high in income?
This is OP. Neither of the parents makes a high income, especially for this area.

Then why are you assuming she can’t get aid? What is their yearly HHI? Assets?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went through a similar situation. My widowed mom remarried when I was in 5th grade. It shocked me then and now that colleges counted his higher income in the expected family contribution eve though he was not my biological father and he did not adopt me as his daughter and thus had no legal obligation to provide for me. He was just my mom’s husband. No legal or biological relationship existed beyond that between him and me.

I’m the would be step parent who posted on the first page who isn’t getting married till the kids are out of college. I agree with you. None of my friends believe me when I tell them this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take a gap year or two, work, become independent, then apply & seek need-based financial aid.

Or attend local community college for two years.

One reason I want to help this teen is that I don’t think she feels fully safe and secure in the home with her mom and stepdad. It would be best if she could get away from that.

Can they afford two years of community college then guaranteed transfer to UMD or whatever the state college is? If she works part-time, she could pull it off with a little help from her mother.

And about feeling safe... come on. Is this going to turn into an anti-immigrant screed, OP? Are you saying he's a pedo? A violent drunk? If she really wants to make this work, she needs to save money and live at home while going to college.

This has nothing to do with their national origin. If you can’t imagine a scenario where a teen would feel less than secure and happy in a home where she is, at minimum, treated like an unwanted extra by the stepdad, then you must live a pretty charmed life.

Why should the stepdad take on this financial burden? He may have spousal support to a prior wife or kids of his own (and those college obligations by court order).

She's not asking him to pay. But his income will count against her when she applies for financial aid. Period. Imagine if it didn't count just because he didn't want to pay? Everyone would claim they refuse to pay so the kids can get more aid. What makes him special that his refusal should have no consequences?

Also, if he has spousal support and court ordered college obligations, that goes in the aid application and will be used to lower the "parents' expected contribution." Note: expected, not required.

Because he is a step parent, not a parent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand why there is a presumption of parental contribution from the stepdad. He is not the student’s father and since he did not adopt her he is not her father. The college’s presumption that an adult without any type of legal parental relationship needs to contribute is outrageous.

Well, write your congressman and tell them to change the FAFSA rules

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand why there is a presumption of parental contribution from the stepdad. He is not the student’s father and since he did not adopt her he is not her father. The college’s presumption that an adult without any type of legal parental relationship needs to contribute is outrageous.

The stepfather contributes to the HHI, that's why. Mom lived with the kid as a single parent and now she has another adult to help pay the bills. She should have some savings because of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand why there is a presumption of parental contribution from the stepdad. He is not the student’s father and since he did not adopt her he is not her father. The college’s presumption that an adult without any type of legal parental relationship needs to contribute is outrageous.

Well, write your congressman and tell them to change the FAFSA rules

That is unfair.

[Anonymous]

This seems like a myob situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why should stepdad pay for it when mom has a high income? Thats a bizzare expctation.

Where did you read that mom has a high in income?
This is OP. Neither of the parents makes a high income, especially for this area.

Then why are you assuming she can’t get aid? What is their yearly HHI? Assets?

Ever heart of the donut hole?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand why there is a presumption of parental contribution from the stepdad. He is not the student’s father and since he did not adopt her he is not her father. The college’s presumption that an adult without any type of legal parental relationship needs to contribute is outrageous.

The stepfather contributes to the HHI, that's why. Mom lived with the kid as a single parent and now she has another adult to help pay the bills. She should have some savings because of it.

It depends on the college. My husband's ex has a live in partner (now husband) and I am sure she didn't declare him as she tried to lie to the court about him when she filed for more child support (he is the AP she moved in with after leaving my husband and been together many years). She also lied to colleges as she refused allow my husband in on the process but demanded he just send a check to her without giving him the school name, financial information or anything else. We think the kids got a full ride (except one choose not to live in the dorm and took out loans to support him and his girlfriend, which she wanted us to fund and we refused as if the kid wanted to live a married life, he can fund his own lifestyle.

Stepparents should not be obligated to pay.

[Anonymous]

Op, you seem to be in no position to help her.
Not every person deserves to go to college or should go to college. Don't put that into her head.
She may be better off taking a break from school and just work. Once she has some money and is ready to go back to school, she should attend community college.
My kid got 30 credits transferred to Nova from high school and should be able to attend George Mason later. He will be independent from parents as we want that for him and we live in another state.
Two years working in a restaurant for 40 hours a week would allow her to mature, become independent, and save up at minimum $24k.
Restaurants also hire without much experience. We have 16-17 year olds working right now. You said absolutely nothing about this child having work experience. She needs a job and perhaps has some maturing to do before she knows what she wants to study.
I put myself through college paying international rates and working 40 hours at the same time. I worked 45 hours a week for a year right after graduating, then applied for college.
She can work part time and attend community college, not a 4-year school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, you seem to be in no position to help her.
Not every person deserves to go to college or should go to college. Don't put that into her head.
She may be better off taking a break from school and just work. Once she has some money and is ready to go back to school, she should attend community college.
My kid got 30 credits transferred to Nova from high school and should be able to attend George Mason later. He will be independent from parents as we want that for him and we live in another state.
Two years working in a restaurant for 40 hours a week would allow her to mature, become independent, and save up at minimum $24k.
Restaurants also hire without much experience. We have 16-17 year olds working right now. You said absolutely nothing about this child having work experience. She needs a job and perhaps has some maturing to do before she knows what she wants to study.
I put myself through college paying international rates and working 40 hours at the same time. I worked 45 hours a week for a year right after graduating, then applied for college.
She can work part time and attend community college, not a 4-year school.

You sound really charming. As someone who has BTDT (so have I, by the way, and I am very successful now) why do you want this for your kid? It's a miserable existence for a young adult, as you should well know.

[Anonymous]

OP: Keep in mind that the stepfather not being willing to pay is a pretty minor problem.

The big problem is if the stepfather won’t fill out the financial aid forms. If the stepparent won’t fill out the forms at all, and the daughter can’t persuade schools to accept her as having a special situation, she might have a hard time even getting merit aid. So, if there’s any way to sell the step father on filling out the aid form, that would be good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand why there is a presumption of parental contribution from the stepdad. He is not the student’s father and since he did not adopt her he is not her father. The college’s presumption that an adult without any type of legal parental relationship needs to contribute is outrageous.

The stepfather contributes to the HHI, that's why. Mom lived with the kid as a single parent and now she has another adult to help pay the bills. She should have some savings because of it.

It depends on the college. My husband's ex has a live in partner (now husband) and I am sure she didn't declare him as she tried to lie to the court about him when she filed for more child support (he is the AP she moved in with after leaving my husband and been together many years). She also lied to colleges as she refused allow my husband in on the process but demanded he just send a check to her without giving him the school name, financial information or anything else. We think the kids got a full ride (except one choose not to live in the dorm and took out loans to support him and his girlfriend, which she wanted us to fund and we refused as if the kid wanted to live a married life, he can fund his own lifestyle.

Stepparents should not be obligated to pay.

If your ex filed taxes jointly with her husband, his income was included in the expected family contribution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone remember that dreadful thread from maybe 5 years ago started by a mother who had gotten remarried and now her kid didn’t qualify for aid, and she had saved like $20k total so the kid wasn’t going to be able to go to college? She felt terrible about it but eventually was like “tough noogies, kid, my marriage is the most important thing.” Everyone was very disapproving of that mother. I wish I could find that thread, I think about it from time to time.

Omg. Sounds like my mom except I had maybe 5k saved for college. And then she redid her kitchen, and claimed me on tax returns- while I worked nights and sold my plasma to afford school, and payed all of my own expenses

[Anonymous]

ROTC. This is what I did in similar situation. I had all my schooling payed for, plus a monthly stipend for living expenses, plus they payed all expenses for me to move far away from my dysfunctional family after graduation. Sweet deal!