Social Peers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think social peers is huge. My DD is a HS senior but has friends in college now who want to transfer because the social aspect doesn't jive with theirs. For example, one girl who could've gone to any number of higher ranked schools chose a very high admission rate school for the weather but is having a difficult time because majority of the kids like to party Tuesday to Sunday and academics is an after thought. I'm shocked by some of the stories I hear. And this isn't someone who doesn't like to party. She just happens to be in the minority and care about school too. Lesson learned, be very careful about schools that have super high acceptance rates.

What school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think social peers is huge. My DD is a HS senior but has friends in college now who want to transfer because the social aspect doesn't jive with theirs. For example, one girl who could've gone to any number of higher ranked schools chose a very high admission rate school for the weather but is having a difficult time because majority of the kids like to party Tuesday to Sunday and academics is an after thought. I'm shocked by some of the stories I hear. And this isn't someone who doesn't like to party. She just happens to be in the minority and care about school too. Lesson learned, be very careful about schools that have super high acceptance rates.

What school

A school in the south known as a top party school with an 80%+ acceptance rate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:This suggestion will naturally strike many as gross, but I would try to find out via discreet googling if the school has a "phantom s***er" problem. Let me explain.

When I was in college, I had a friend at one of the Seven Sisters who would complain to me about how someone (or someones) would defecate in the middle of hallways in the dead of night as some kind of sick revenge on the college community.

I didn't think much of it, but when I told the story to some of my study abroad classmates, about a third of them said the same thing happened at their colleges. Apparently, at least in the 00s, this was A Thing at some institutions.

So, if you can avoid schools where this happens, that would be a good idea.

One of the better pieces of advice I’ve seen on here

My kid read similar reports from Cornell when she was applying.

Can confirm, this was a thing there 😆

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think social peers is huge. My DD is a HS senior but has friends in college now who want to transfer because the social aspect doesn't jive with theirs. For example, one girl who could've gone to any number of higher ranked schools chose a very high admission rate school for the weather but is having a difficult time because majority of the kids like to party Tuesday to Sunday and academics is an after thought. I'm shocked by some of the stories I hear. And this isn't someone who doesn't like to party. She just happens to be in the minority and care about school too. Lesson learned, be very careful about schools that have super high acceptance rates.

What school

A school in the south known as a top party school with an 80%+ acceptance rate.

Bama probably

[Anonymous]

What do you want? A party school? Greek life? Top academics? A mix?

At a school like say, Alabama, 78% acceptance rate so you won’t be pushed academically or around the brightest. There is a really big difference. The one thing my kid was thrilled with (he’s very academic- although athlete too) was that everyone around him was very very smart so he had really interesting conversations and engaging courses with small class sizes. The kids like him were not party ragers, drinkers but will play poker, go the gym a lot of pick up sports in addition to the club sport.

It’s about fit. My kid immediately ruled out any large school with a football/greek culture. My younger child is the opposite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So much has been made of wanting kids to be at a place where they are with a cohort of intellectual peers. With the poor mental health epidemic on college campuses, where’s the discussion on the kids’ mental health? My kid is surrounded by very driven peers at their T-25 but I constantly remind them they cannot function well without balance and perspective. I want my kid to be challenged but I also want them surrounded my classmates who are kind, thoughtful and well-adjusted. It’s sad how campus communities are now seen more as professional networks instead of a source of social/emotional support not just during college but beyond as well.

That describes DD’s ivy. Perfect fit. Down to earth nice but brilliant kids who support each other

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:DD is high stats and has zero desire to attend college with a bunch grinders on the spectrum. These are the kind of classes that the T20 have cultivated with their excessive EC requirements and focus on "pointy".

+1000 We see this over and over when we visit the top 20 schools.

My son is a freshman at a HYP and he’s having the time of his life socially. Working his butt off but playing even harder. I’m awake at 3am because my uber family just buzzed that he’s in a car on the way back to the dorm. This is typical for nights Thursday-Saturday. And, during the week he’s busy with clubs, the gym, his new job, eating out. He’s too busy in his opinion but having too much fun to slow down.

Maybe this is just a unicorn class of well rounded kids but it was something he sensed at revisit days and it’s what convinced him to commit and he hasn’t looked back.

Social fit is really important. My only point is not to slap a label on top schools as being full of “grinders on the spectrum.” In his case, if they are in fact grinders on the spectrum, they like to have a good time.

Why is he working?

At least at H, it's very possible to get good part time jobs/internships term time in Boston/Cambridge that convey actual experience. Not like washing dishes in the cafeteria or cleaning toilets, but substantive jobs. It would be crazy not to take one.

Same at kid’s ivy. Everyone works either part time paid research or internship or whatever. Resume buiding, normal and fun for these high achievers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Catholic schools tend to have kinder people. Mine is only applying to Catholic schools.

???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So much has been made of wanting kids to be at a place where they are with a cohort of intellectual peers. With the poor mental health epidemic on college campuses, where’s the discussion on the kids’ mental health? My kid is surrounded by very driven peers at their T-25 but I constantly remind them they cannot function well without balance and perspective. I want my kid to be challenged but I also want them surrounded my classmates who are kind, thoughtful and well-adjusted. It’s sad how campus communities are now seen more as professional networks instead of a source of social/emotional support not just during college but beyond as well.

You participated in a self fulfilling prophecy. Top 25 schools are where strivers go to mingle with the donor and connected class seeking upward social mobility.

Sweet spot is 30-70 and honors colleges at state flagships where kids go who want of learn and grow for the sake of self improvement.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:DD is high stats and has zero desire to attend college with a bunch grinders on the spectrum. These are the kind of classes that the T20 have cultivated with their excessive EC requirements and focus on "pointy".

WTF are ”grinders in the spectrum?”

DP. Half the Ivy kids. Tons in Silicon Valley.

I wish I knew as much as people on here, to have such astute observations and firsthand knowledge of literal percentages of a student bodies at eight different schools.

Or, your kid is just average. It’s okay, mine is too.

I think you just need to go on a few top20 college tours to see this played out in front of you. It's pretty obvious when you see the kids.
It's even more apparent at accepted student events. My kid committed to an Ivy and we recently went to an accepted student summer reception and I would say that 75% of the kids I talked to were on the spectrum.

This is what the AOs want, this is what they get. We saw it too. There was no way my DC would have been happy at one of these schools. We visited many top 20 schools. Dartmouth was one of a handful of top 20 schools that had more of a “normal, smart kid” vibe, but the rural isolation was just too much. My social, really smart kid opted for a top public flagship. I wonder of the professors and AOs notice how the school population and vibe has changed so drastically?

Dartmouth was one of a handful of top 20 schools that had more of a “normal, midwit kid” vibe (emended)

IQ~130+ would appear to common denizens as on the spectrum… it is what it is.

??? Wut

[Anonymous]

Social peers- maybe the “sweet spot” is where ever your kid can find enough peers with whom they share enough core common ground academically and socially, but still have the opportunity to to interact with and learn from others who are completely different from them.

[Anonymous]

There are kind, hard-working, intelligent people all over the place, at every college. Don't make something out of nothing.