Social Peers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD is high stats and has zero desire to attend college with a bunch grinders on the spectrum. These are the kind of classes that the T20 have cultivated with their excessive EC requirements and focus on "pointy".

That is my observation too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So much has been made of wanting kids to be at a place where they are with a cohort of intellectual peers. With the poor mental health epidemic on college campuses, where’s the discussion on the kids’ mental health? My kid is surrounded by very driven peers at their T-25 but I constantly remind them they cannot function well without balance and perspective. I want my kid to be challenged but I also want them surrounded my classmates who are kind, thoughtful and well-adjusted. It’s sad how campus communities are now seen more as professional networks instead of a source of social/emotional support not just during college but beyond as well.

Great post.

My thought is that this is an area that is well addressed by public flagship honors colleges. A more scholarly community of students within a large university setting which serves students from a wide variety of socio-economic and intellectual backgrounds. Honors College students take courses both within the honors college and outside of the honors college but still within the large state flagship school.

I think this is the answer. I went to a state flagship and you find all sorts there -- people can be very driven if they want to, or by more laid back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD is high stats and has zero desire to attend college with a bunch grinders on the spectrum. These are the kind of classes that the T20 have cultivated with their excessive EC requirements and focus on "pointy".

Inaccurate and very ignorant statement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So much has been made of wanting kids to be at a place where they are with a cohort of intellectual peers. With the poor mental health epidemic on college campuses, where’s the discussion on the kids’ mental health? My kid is surrounded by very driven peers at their T-25 but I constantly remind them they cannot function well without balance and perspective. I want my kid to be challenged but I also want them surrounded my classmates who are kind, thoughtful and well-adjusted. It’s sad how campus communities are now seen more as professional networks instead of a source of social/emotional support not just during college but beyond as well.

Warm weather schools also help with mental health as opposed to cold, grey and long winter schools. A consideration for many considering colleges.

My kid is the opposite -- melts (and hides in the AC) when it gets anything approaching hot, but is invigorated by cold weather. He's looking at northern schools with access to winter sports.

This is why fit is important -- there is no best.

He'd love Minnesota then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD is high stats and has zero desire to attend college with a bunch grinders on the spectrum. These are the kind of classes that the T20 have cultivated with their excessive EC requirements and focus on "pointy".

Wow. Is she always so offensive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD is high stats and has zero desire to attend college with a bunch grinders on the spectrum. These are the kind of classes that the T20 have cultivated with their excessive EC requirements and focus on "pointy".

Wow. Is she always so offensive?

Exactly! It’s offensive and completely untrue. It’s kind of like if someone were to say your 4.0 inflation HS kid that went text-optional and weak EC’s couldn’t hang. Of course they couldn’t! They wouldn’t get in, so wouldn’t the opportunity to know anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD is high stats and has zero desire to attend college with a bunch grinders on the spectrum. These are the kind of classes that the T20 have cultivated with their excessive EC requirements and focus on "pointy".

I do wonder if college will be better without their parents hovering around the school and complaining about every hiccup in their grades. I think it's the parents more than the kids that drive the crazy T10 or culture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So much has been made of wanting kids to be at a place where they are with a cohort of intellectual peers. With the poor mental health epidemic on college campuses, where’s the discussion on the kids’ mental health? My kid is surrounded by very driven peers at their T-25 but I constantly remind them they cannot function well without balance and perspective. I want my kid to be challenged but I also want them surrounded my classmates who are kind, thoughtful and well-adjusted. It’s sad how campus communities are now seen more as professional networks instead of a source of social/emotional support not just during college but beyond as well.

Go to a big enough college (avoid smaller LACs) and your kid will find enough like-minded peers anywhere!

Also look at honors communities at larger state colleges.

[Anonymous]

Like attracts like. If your kid manages to get into a top 10 college- and through the process remains mentally stable, doesn’t need a therapist, SSRI and a stimulant- then they will be fine in college. They will make friends with other mentally stable people and avoid the ones that are spiraling

[Anonymous]

This suggestion will naturally strike many as gross, but I would try to find out via discreet googling if the school has a "phantom s***er" problem. Let me explain.

When I was in college, I had a friend at one of the Seven Sisters who would complain to me about how someone (or someones) would defecate in the middle of hallways in the dead of night as some kind of sick revenge on the college community.

I didn't think much of it, but when I told the story to some of my study abroad classmates, about a third of them said the same thing happened at their colleges. Apparently, at least in the 00s, this was A Thing at some institutions.

So, if you can avoid schools where this happens, that would be a good idea.

[Anonymous]

Colleges emphasize student mental health resources during Zoom calls with the families of admitted students, so you know there is a problem.

You can’t change the culture of your kid’s school, but maybe there are some more balanced kids on the periphery for them. But you haven’t said that he is having difficulties with it, so maybe it is a generational difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This suggestion will naturally strike many as gross, but I would try to find out via discreet googling if the school has a "phantom s***er" problem. Let me explain.

When I was in college, I had a friend at one of the Seven Sisters who would complain to me about how someone (or someones) would defecate in the middle of hallways in the dead of night as some kind of sick revenge on the college community.

I didn't think much of it, but when I told the story to some of my study abroad classmates, about a third of them said the same thing happened at their colleges. Apparently, at least in the 00s, this was A Thing at some institutions.

So, if you can avoid schools where this happens, that would be a good idea.

One of the better pieces of advice I’ve seen on here

[Anonymous]

Well, dating pool is very important. Must marry smart kid from good family. Best time to meet one of these is at elite college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So much has been made of wanting kids to be at a place where they are with a cohort of intellectual peers. With the poor mental health epidemic on college campuses, where’s the discussion on the kids’ mental health? My kid is surrounded by very driven peers at their T-25 but I constantly remind them they cannot function well without balance and perspective. I want my kid to be challenged but I also want them surrounded my classmates who are kind, thoughtful and well-adjusted. It’s sad how campus communities are now seen more as professional networks instead of a source of social/emotional support not just during college but beyond as well.

Go to a big enough college (avoid smaller LACs) and your kid will find enough like-minded peers anywhere!

Also look at honors communities at larger state colleges.

Or, go to a LAC that’s a great fit for you! I found a great community at mine. And years later, I find that even the classmates I was not friends with would have been much better friend material than the vast majority of people I’ve met since.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD is high stats and has zero desire to attend college with a bunch grinders on the spectrum. These are the kind of classes that the T20 have cultivated with their excessive EC requirements and focus on "pointy".

Okay and the pointy grinders may not have a desire to attend college with your DD. There's a place for everyone so figure it out and go there.