Is it true that women go after the same men?

[Anonymous]

In every situation I’ve been in (HS, college, grad school, working in NYC and other cities around the country), 80% of women were going after 20% of men. This mismatch resulted in a lot of my friends remaining unmarried and a few of us compromising in big ways. I’m in the latter category. It is what it is.

How does your DH feel about compromising in a big way? Does he regret not landing something better during the mismatch?

[Anonymous]

Some people have natural advantages and maximize them. It has always been this way. And that's okay

I am 6'6 with all the bells and whistles that people talk about when it comes to the male physique and charisma. But that's the initial attraction. If you don't have a personality or anything exciting going on with you nobody will want to date you. Women have never been shy about approaching me and for this reason I was taken (or I snatched the right woman) early on. I have only had 3 GFs. Yes all kind of women wanted to know more about me. One thing that guys who don't get approached a lot failed to understand is that when women approach you it's agonizing to turn them down. They do it on the sweetest way and 99.9% of them don't have a creepy vibe. This could be one of the reasons they chase the same men because they selectively do and could put their energy on those few men.

You could also say companies chase the same people. I have never been turned down at an in person interview . Sometimes they are quick to finish the interview so they can start asking personal questions about my height etc.

Life is a ladder. They are people in front and behind you. Just maximize the natural talents and attributes that you have. You cant have it all. For example I have always wanted to be a good dancer but no matter how many classes I took I am still not good at it but making progress.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I divorced late in life. I scroll through the apps and just swipe left on all of them. These men look like my friends’ husbands. I know they love them, but holy moly, not a physically attractive one in the bunch.

Your friends are still married while you are divorced. Perhaps you are the physically unattractive one.

Nope. I’m actually about an 8. These guys are 3s

Shocked you didn't say you were a 10!

I’m honest.
But really my married girlfriends range from 5-8, husbands top out at 5. You never see an 8 man with a below 7 woman.

This is the first time in my life I am hearing a woman saying another woman is a 5 especially a friend of hers.

Can you describe yourself for us I'm curious.

[Anonymous]

I’m honest.
But really my married girlfriends range from 5-8, husbands top out at 5. You never see an 8 man with a below 7 woman.

Bu!!$h!t.

You might see an 8 woman marry a 5 man now and then. However, all 8s marrying all 5s is not happening.

Try again. Most likely, everyone is a 5.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is scary and depressing we’re so f*****. Social media has ruined our society, how we understand reality and relate to one another.

That people are out here spewing this obvious nonsense on this site, not on some random subreddit shows that the cancer of disinformation and misinformation has spread far and wide. Nov 4th was a wake up call for sure, but I admit to being ignorant how much right wing/anti-gender sentiment has spread within our society that we have 7 pages of people spreading blatant lies and pretending women are homogeneous that can be painted with a broad brush, that we are not diverse in our wants, needs, and desires, that although we live in DC, “hollywood for ugly people”, where we see evidence to the contrary everywhere, it must absolutely be the case that women only go after supermodels.

This is a learning opportunity for all, how do we fight this cancer in our society?

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All women only go after guys who check three boxes: at least 6 feet tall, make six figures, and have six-pack abs. But when you break that down, not many guys actually meet all those standards.

Only about 14% of men in the U.S. are over 6 feet tall. Around 25% make $100k or more. If you combine just those two, you’re already down to roughly 3.5% of men. Add in the six-pack requirement, and you’re probably looking at 1% or less.

So, every woman is chasing that 1%.

On the flip side, guys tend to have simpler preferences. They mostly want someone who’s attractive. There are a lot of beautiful women out there at any height and income range.

Agree. Our standards differ. 6’ tall never mattered - anyone over 5’6 was fine. Nor did 6-pack abs, though I did care a lot about fitness, and some muscle and it would definitely be a plus. And $100k is too low an income bar. I never dated under $200k (and I've made that much since my first post school job, too).

Of course you are entitled to your own standards. But do you think it's realistic to exclude men who make less than $200k from your dating pool? And what makes a man who makes $100k less desirable than a man who makes $200k?

Ya, it was realistic. I dated a few guys and married DH who now makes 7 figures. I earn well over $200k. I’d rather stay single than marry or commit to a financial liability, but that’s because I’ve already been poor and refuse to live that way again.

Congrats to you guys for being rich. We are very rich as well probably richer than you guys. However, I will never consider a man who makes $100k poor. Your way of thinking about money is quite shallow if you want my honest opinion. Saying things like you don't want to commit to a financial liability( a man making $100k is financial liability now?) makes me wonder whether about what you truly value. You know in a couple if one makes $50k and the other $200k That's a combined income of $250k. There is no such as his/her money in a marriage.

I value the security of a paid off home, fully funded 529 plans and enough FU money that either of us could quit our jobs now and never look back. I value skiing 30 + days a year, and as far as material things, I like my luxury car and being able to eat fresh fish and veggies most nights. I also like good concert seats. These are things I didn’t have growing up. Maybe you are richer than me, and good on you, but I have enough to live a nice life, and it wouldn’t be possible if our HHI was only $250k. Not even close, actually. I just didn’t date people who weren’t ambitious, and I don’t regret limiting the dating pool.

[Anonymous]

My personal experience is the nerdy socially awkward young guys guys often have similarly nerdy girls interested in them, they're sometimes not great at picking up on or expressing interest.

[Anonymous]

Yes, as we can see from all of the supermodels coupled up around us in our friend groups, neighborhood, and workplaces. Everyone who is not a 10/10 mentally, physically, and emotionally will never find anyone willing to date them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it true that women go after the same men? Or is it an incel driven conspiracy theory?

Considering only about 10% of men are marryable, that sounds like a true statement.

[Anonymous]

Yet far more than 10% of men marry, so …..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yet far more than 10% of men marry, so …..

I said marryable, not married.

Filter out the guys addicted to porn, video games, and gambling and you’re probably down to 30% right there.

[Anonymous]

I read that 40-60% of men throughout history died without passing on their genes, so yes.

[Anonymous]

Men go after the same women too, so...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men go after the same women too, so...

Yeah, no. Not true at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is scary and depressing we’re so f*****. Social media has ruined our society, how we understand reality and relate to one another.

That people are out here spewing this obvious nonsense on this site, not on some random subreddit shows that the cancer of disinformation and misinformation has spread far and wide. Nov 4th was a wake up call for sure, but I admit to being ignorant how much right wing/anti-gender sentiment has spread within our society that we have 7 pages of people spreading blatant lies and pretending women are homogeneous that can be painted with a broad brush, that we are not diverse in our wants, needs, and desires, that although we live in DC, “hollywood for ugly people”, where we see evidence to the contrary everywhere, it must absolutely be the case that women only go after supermodels.

This is a learning opportunity for all, how do we fight this cancer in our society?

+1000

Thank you for this post. Add to this the right wants to drag women back to 1930 wrt rights and this does feel like a very dangerous cancer.