"No gifts" on party invitation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No gifts is just social posturing. It’s a way to say we are so rich that there is nothing you could give us that we would ever want or use. Our kids already have everything or only like gifts that are far above what you could give at a party. We mostly just roll our eyes and decline no gift parties. They are usually also the ones where parents are spending thousands on the party to show how rich they are.

It’s a blessing to these families that you declined. Based on your take on why you think people insist on ‘no-gift’, you’re the one projecting your insecurities or jealousies.

We’re not rich and it would be apparent to anyone we are posers if we tried to pretend be. We insist on no gifts because we truly want our child’s friends to attend regardless of their families’ financial circumstances, their presence is the gift. Why is that so hard for people to comprehend?

If you absolutely have to provide a gift, then have your child give a small gift after the party. As nice as the gifts may be, my child will remember the party many years from now and not the gifts.

It is posturing. Gifts have been part of celebrations for pretty much all of time. And poor people do gifts at their parties and celebrations. So yes the whole ‘no gifts’ is just social posturing and we avoid it. Our friends are down to earth so it isn’t an issue with them, it’s just snobbish school families with their no gift invites we avoid. We would much rather do a fun birthday party at a park with presents.

Gifts have only not been part of celebrations in RECENT time. What does your friends who are down to earth have to do with giving gifts at birthday parties for kids? You’re the one posturing with your gift giving to show you are well off and can afford to give it. You could easily have a party at the park without gifts.

It’s not posturing! My house is small. Also, some friends don’t have a lot of $ so I don’t want them to not come because they can’t bring a gift. We want to have fun with friends not worry about what to bring. I’m trying to make it easy for the guests! Don’t worry about getting a gift - just come and have fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No gift parties are ridiculous

Having strong feelings about the wording on a child's birthday party invitation is more ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No gifts is just social posturing. It’s a way to say we are so rich that there is nothing you could give us that we would ever want or use. Our kids already have everything or only like gifts that are far above what you could give at a party. We mostly just roll our eyes and decline no gift parties. They are usually also the ones where parents are spending thousands on the party to show how rich they are.

It always is fine to decline.

Our house is small - 1609sf for 4 people. There just is not a lot of space.

That’s not small.

[Anonymous]

I like to bring a fun card, play music or light up so its still like a toy and fun but not a gift either

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, bring a card and a small gift. Card game or a book.

I was at a party where 2 guests did this. The gifts were returned with the reminder that they had requested no gifts.

I suppose, OP, that you could leave a small gift in the car. Read the room and go get it if you need to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bring the gift OP. I’ve never seen anyone not bring a gift when it says ”no gift” . Don’t look like the a-hole.

At our no-gift birthday party, only 1 family brought a gift. While we were entirely gracious, they clearly felt embarrassed.

I’ve been the no-gift person at too pant DC parties lately where we were the only people not bringing gifts and each time they actually opened gifts during the party. I was mortified!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bring the gift OP. I’ve never seen anyone not bring a gift when it says ”no gift” . Don’t look like the a-hole.

At our no-gift birthday party, only 1 family brought a gift. While we were entirely gracious, they clearly felt embarrassed.

I’ve been the no-gift person at too pant DC parties lately where we were the only people not bringing gifts and each time they actually opened gifts during the party. I was mortified!

m

Adding both invitations said no gifts!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No gift parties are ridiculous

Then don’t throw them or attend them.

If you decide to attend a no gift party, just… don’t bring a gift. See how easy that is?

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I like to bring a fun card, play music or light up so its still like a toy and fun but not a gift either

That's gross trash. Worse than a gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not a parent but mentor a family. Through an activity I take one of the kids to, he has been invited to a birthday party. Birthday invite says "no gifts, please." Do we follow this? Bring a gift anyway (and if so, ideas? I had been thinking about a card game like uno or taco cat goat cheese pizza, plus some candy or Takis or something)? Still bring a card? Birthday kid is early elementary and is dcum middle class (lives in mostly gentrified DC neighborhood). I want the kid we mentor to fit in as much as possible!

"No" means "No".

Those suggesting you bring something are trying to get you ostracized or start conflict.

No gifts at parties are for two reasons. Either the kid/parents doesn't want the typical bday gifts people bring,
or it's to spare the feelings of the poorer or more awkward kids who cannot afford or wouldn't know what cool gifts to bring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

This is the problem. No one actually means no gifts in NW DC.

[Anonymous]

In my corner, no gifts actually means no gifts. I think most parents don’t want more cheap plastic junk and life’s short for all those Target runs for overpriced trash. You can also tell your kids it’s about being a host, not getting stuff. Parties with gifts are rare but some kids want them and that’s ok with me too. If your like 5 or 7 and your hearts set on presents, ok whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my corner, no gifts actually means no gifts. I think most parents don’t want more cheap plastic junk and life’s short for all those Target runs for overpriced trash. You can also tell your kids it’s about being a host, not getting stuff. Parties with gifts are rare but some kids want them and that’s ok with me too. If your like 5 or 7 and your hearts set on presents, ok whatever.

In our circle gifts were common for the first year and then everyone organically transitioned over to no gifts once we realized how much cheap plastic crap we’d accumulated in our houses… When I do give gifts I bring books, which have actually been appreciated long past the party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

This is the problem. No one actually means no gifts in NW DC.

Will you teach your kids that girls don’t actually mean no to sex when they say no, too?