"No gifts" on party invitation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just bring a card or nothing. That’s what we do and what most people seem to do at these things.

This. I have 2 kids in elementary school in DC and most parties are no gift parties. Parents respect it. I’ve even seen a parent apologize for missing the no gift notice and bringing a gift.

Most kids make cards for the birthday kid. I haven’t seen a purchased card at a party yet.

I’ve never seen a no gift party.

[Anonymous]

We have tons of "no gift" parties at my kids' schools. Most parents honor that. I'm usually the mom that forgot to read the invite or read it, but since the invite was sent a month in advance it's on the calendar and I forgot, so I bring a gift. Then I apologize when I see no one else brings a gift.

My least favorite is "bring pet food to donate to a shelter". Seriously, I'll never get that one right. It's hard enough to remember not to bring a gift.

OP, when I do remember the "no gift", I usually get a super funny musical card that's sure to be fun for the kids and will annoy the crap out of the parents. It's intentional.

[Anonymous]

I'm an elementary school parent and most of the parties have been no gift or suggested handmade cards only.

When I say no gifts, I mean it. My kid already gets way, way too much stuff from his grandparents and aunts, I do not have room for more stuff. You bring a gift, it's getting put in the car to get donated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just a handmade card. No cash.

I’m often offended when people write no gifts. Sometimes it’s because they really have too much stuff. But often times is that they’re too brownnosed to accept your meager gift of what they think is junk. Even worse if they ask to donate to a charity. You invite me. I decide if I want to bring a gift and what I choose to gift. Besides it’s your child’s birthday, not the parents. Sometimes I feel bad for these kids who get no gifts.

Projection much? Christ, lady, see a therapist. This is a truly bonkers take.

[Anonymous]

It’s not bonkers I’ve had lots of parents tell me they don’t want cheap $15 gifts for their kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bring a card, bring nothing, bring money, or bring a gift.

But the host is trying to say, gifts are not needed, don’t go out of your way to do something, the kid has enough, etc.

I only done this once on roughly 31 birthdays (collective between 3 kids).

I don’t regret doing to, but it made me feel worried others would read into it. As a third kid, he really doesn’t need more stuff. Actually, I’ll be honest, it was the only time I’ve put a note “it’s a fiver party. No gifts needed. If you you want, bring $5 for the birthday body.”

He had $50 or so and bought a huge dinosaur which was so fun compared to a bunch of random little toys. Honestly, he loved it.

Sorry but I think this is rude. Please only give cash. We do not want your crappy gift.

$5 is nothing.
I spend $25 on a kid’s birthday gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not a parent but mentor a family. Through an activity I take one of the kids to, he has been invited to a birthday party. Birthday invite says "no gifts, please." Do we follow this? Bring a gift anyway (and if so, ideas? I had been thinking about a card game like uno or taco cat goat cheese pizza, plus some candy or Takis or something)? Still bring a card? Birthday kid is early elementary and is dcum middle class (lives in mostly gentrified DC neighborhood). I want the kid we mentor to fit in as much as possible!

Re-read the bolded until it makes sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bring a card only.
We make our own cards in our house so I’d have my kid make a card.

On a side note, I think no gift parties for kids are stupid but that’s just me. I’d still respect the request.

Why? We say no gifts bc we truly have too much stuff. Our kids get plenty of gifts/money from family. When people bring gifts, it’s always stuff we don’t need or want, my kids generally choose to donate them and still need to write a thank you. We also go to a school with a diverse socio economic student body so don’t want anyone to feel different when they walk in without a gift and others have them. Please respect the no gifts.

I’m the PP. the gifts are part of the fun of a birthday. Mine is almost 13 now and I would say 50% of her gifts are either gift cards or cash. 25% are stuff off her wishlist ( I’ll send it only if people ask). The other 25% are surprise gifts she has always enjoyed receiving from friends.

There’s a big difference between a 13yo who can write their own thank you cards and a 5yo. And to the poster who feels bad for these kids bc they don’t get gifts - what? Do you really think these kids aren’t getting any gifts at all? The problem is that my kids get too many gifts from family and family friends, they don’t need stuff from their classmates too. It’s more important to have people actually come and enjoy the party and celebrate the kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always bring a gift

So…. You always annoy the people who actually requested “ no gifts”

[Anonymous]

It absolutely means no gifts of any kind. I appreciate so much that you want to help them navigate the right way. But I am always surprised when people ask this. Would it be a trick? If people wanted gifts, why would they write no gifts? There is no other way to interpret it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why WOULDN"T you follow it? So weird!

Because if it's an unspoken rule that everyone brings gifts anyway, I don't want the kid I am bringing to stand out. I will go with a card --thanks all!

Your manners can never be faulted if you have followed the host's instructions. You should also share this thought with your mentee as a social lesson. It's not out of the question that someone will show up with a gift. But you can explain to your mentor that we make our host happy by respecting their wishes. And that the host doesn't value guests differently based on gift-bringing.

Well said.

The people who bring gifts anyway, either didn’t read the invite, didn’t remember, or aren’t aware of the many reasons why people don’t want gifts. It definitely does not make the people who read/listened, seem rude!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have tons of "no gift" parties at my kids' schools. Most parents honor that. I'm usually the mom that forgot to read the invite or read it, but since the invite was sent a month in advance it's on the calendar and I forgot, so I bring a gift. Then I apologize when I see no one else brings a gift.

My least favorite is "bring pet food to donate to a shelter". Seriously, I'll never get that one right. It's hard enough to remember not to bring a gift.

OP, when I do remember the "no gift", I usually get a super funny musical card that's sure to be fun for the kids and will annoy the crap out of the parents. It's intentional.

No gift is ok. But I hate other rules ...like only $, food to donate,book only.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It absolutely means no gifts of any kind. I appreciate so much that you want to help them navigate the right way. But I am always surprised when people ask this. Would it be a trick? If people wanted gifts, why would they write no gifts? There is no other way to interpret it!

There are so many tricks when navigating social situations. So many times that people say something is optional when it's really expected.

[Anonymous]

No gifts! You can have the child write or draw a card if you want to bring something. Definitely no candy or other junk food!! Not sure why you would think that’s a good idea but it’s the worst idea ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just a handmade card. No cash.

I’m often offended when people write no gifts. Sometimes it’s because they really have too much stuff. But often times is that they’re too brownnosed to accept your meager gift of what they think is junk. Even worse if they ask to donate to a charity. You invite me. I decide if I want to bring a gift and what I choose to gift. Besides it’s your child’s birthday, not the parents. Sometimes I feel bad for these kids who get no gifts.

I have a relative who told me they do no gifts because they only like their kids to have certain types of toys. OK!

And I still think that's fine, as long as they aren't writing that on the invitation! If the gifts won't be played with, fine by me if the hosts simply write "no gifts." It makes it easier for everyone. I am happy to just show up with a card and let my kid enjoy the party.