"No gifts" on party invitation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should respect what's on the invite. A homemade card would be nice.

This.

If appropriate, you can review these social lessons with your mentee:

1) People celebrate birthdays all kinds of ways.

2) Birthdays and celebrations do not have to involve gifts.

3) Hosts give information to help guests know what to do to enjoy the party. Look for these clues and use them.

4) Making a handmade card shows respect and appreciation and should take a reasonable amount of time (be nice instead of slapdash).

5) Remind the kid to thank the adult host before leaving the party.

This is good.

What is a family mentor?

Asking as my youngest approaches college I'm investigating options to volunteer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It absolutely means no gifts of any kind. I appreciate so much that you want to help them navigate the right way. But I am always surprised when people ask this. Would it be a trick? If people wanted gifts, why would they write no gifts? There is no other way to interpret it!

There are so many tricks when navigating social situations. So many times that people say something is optional when it's really expected.

This isn’t a trick. It’s a clear, written instruction. Stop assuming everyone is trying to put there guests into some sort of “gotcha!” situation just because that’s what you do.

[Anonymous]

My son's "best friend" has been about 45 minutes late to his birthday 3 years in a row because his mother decided to go get a gift at the absolute last minute. I tell her DO NOT bother and she still does it. The kids presence is the gift! Especially if they're on time because I'm driving them to a special outing!

[Anonymous]

Wow. 13:28. A beautiful answer to a very thoughtful question from OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should respect what's on the invite. A homemade card would be nice.

This.

If appropriate, you can review these social lessons with your mentee:

1) People celebrate birthdays all kinds of ways.

2) Birthdays and celebrations do not have to involve gifts.

3) Hosts give information to help guests know what to do to enjoy the party. Look for these clues and use them.

4) Making a handmade card shows respect and appreciation and should take a reasonable amount of time (be nice instead of slapdash).

5) Remind the kid to thank the adult host before leaving the party.

This is good.

What is a family mentor?

Asking as my youngest approaches college I'm investigating options to volunteer

Two organizations I know of are DC127 (it's a faith based organization but their volunteers are not all Christian) and Generation Hope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No gifts! You can have the child write or draw a card if you want to bring something.

And a child may, but need not, write or draw a card…. We value your child’s presence and we mean what we write. There is no trick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It absolutely means no gifts of any kind. I appreciate so much that you want to help them navigate the right way. But I am always surprised when people ask this. Would it be a trick? If people wanted gifts, why would they write no gifts? There is no other way to interpret it!

There are so many tricks when navigating social situations. So many times that people say something is optional when it's really expected.

Totally agree!!

And in some circles "casual" is not casual. Rather it means summer dresses for females, Chino shorts and polos for men. In other words don't turn up in shorts and a cute top if you're a woman - you'll be underdressed - and never wear athletic shoes!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just a handmade card. No cash.

I’m often offended when people write no gifts. Sometimes it’s because they really have too much stuff. But often times is that they’re too brownnosed to accept your meager gift of what they think is junk. Even worse if they ask to donate to a charity. You invite me. I decide if I want to bring a gift and what I choose to gift. Besides it’s your child’s birthday, not the parents. Sometimes I feel bad for these kids who get no gifts.

I have a relative who told me they do no gifts because they only like their kids to have certain types of toys. OK!

And I still think that's fine, as long as they aren't writing that on the invitation! If the gifts won't be played with, fine by me if the hosts simply write "no gifts." It makes it easier for everyone. I am happy to just show up with a card and let my kid enjoy the party.

But everyone knows those same kids that only have wooden, made in the US , Montessori approved toys...LOVE to play with our assortment of whatever the kids are into..regardless of what the parents want/think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just a handmade card. No cash.

I’m often offended when people write no gifts. Sometimes it’s because they really have too much stuff. But often times is that they’re too brownnosed to accept your meager gift of what they think is junk. Even worse if they ask to donate to a charity. You invite me. I decide if I want to bring a gift and what I choose to gift. Besides it’s your child’s birthday, not the parents. Sometimes I feel bad for these kids who get no gifts.

I have a relative who told me they do no gifts because they only like their kids to have certain types of toys. OK!

And I still think that's fine, as long as they aren't writing that on the invitation! If the gifts won't be played with, fine by me if the hosts simply write "no gifts." It makes it easier for everyone. I am happy to just show up with a card and let my kid enjoy the party.

But everyone knows those same kids that only have wooden, made in the US , Montessori approved toys...LOVE to play with our assortment of whatever the kids are into..regardless of what the parents want/think.

Yeah, but not your Circus, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just a handmade card. No cash.

I’m often offended when people write no gifts. Sometimes it’s because they really have too much stuff. But often times is that they’re too brownnosed to accept your meager gift of what they think is junk. Even worse if they ask to donate to a charity. You invite me. I decide if I want to bring a gift and what I choose to gift. Besides it’s your child’s birthday, not the parents. Sometimes I feel bad for these kids who get no gifts.

I have a relative who told me they do no gifts because they only like their kids to have certain types of toys. OK!

And I still think that's fine, as long as they aren't writing that on the invitation! If the gifts won't be played with, fine by me if the hosts simply write "no gifts." It makes it easier for everyone. I am happy to just show up with a card and let my kid enjoy the party.

But everyone knows those same kids that only have wooden, made in the US , Montessori approved toys...LOVE to play with our assortment of whatever the kids are into..regardless of what the parents want/think.

Yes, all kids like toys that are "novel" (the toys at other people's houses). It doesn't necessarily mean someone has the "best" toys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We do $20 gift card in a card. Cash if we are out of gift cards.

One really ought not bring cash, a gift card, or a gift. We mean no gifts when we write no gifts. Our house is small and old. There just is not room for any more stuff.

Handmade birthday wishes or a drawing is not expected, but would be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A card with cash is fine.

No. It is not. We mean no gifts when we write no gifts.

[Anonymous]

It’s a great idea. No one needs more tj max Chinese plastic. A card is very thoughtful

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just a handmade card. No cash.

I’m often offended when people write no gifts. Sometimes it’s because they really have too much stuff. But often times is that they’re too brownnosed to accept your meager gift of what they think is junk. Even worse if they ask to donate to a charity. You invite me. I decide if I want to bring a gift and what I choose to gift. Besides it’s your child’s birthday, not the parents. Sometimes I feel bad for these kids who get no gifts.

I have a relative who told me they do no gifts because they only like their kids to have certain types of toys. OK!

And I still think that's fine, as long as they aren't writing that on the invitation! If the gifts won't be played with, fine by me if the hosts simply write "no gifts." It makes it easier for everyone. I am happy to just show up with a card and let my kid enjoy the party.

But everyone knows those same kids that only have wooden, made in the US , Montessori approved toys...LOVE to play with our assortment of whatever the kids are into..regardless of what the parents want/think.

Even if that were true, does that mean mass production of cheap plastic toys is a good thing for the planet?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A card with cash is fine.

No. It is not. We mean no gifts when we write no gifts.

Stfu