Anonymous wrote:Slightly different perspective here. All of my US kids are lifers, so maybe that's why I come from a different place. Daily life at US is, despite the advertised virtues, short on the Quaker values implied to be at the core of the school's identity. The virtue signaling is over the top.
It's all relative to what other schools may be like. I don't know any other school so cannot speak to that. But my view is that the school's policies around academics (teacher's interactions with students) are draconian. Definitely not warm.
Also, the school's recent turn of focus to sports has undermined the atmosphere of academic excellence. That, again, just in my opinion, has suffered.
Socially, based on what I have heard from my kids over the years and what some acquaintances have shared, there's as much of a mean-kid culture at Sidwell as at any other school. There are the popular kids, the ahtletes, the mean girls, the 'try hards', and the senior whose mom is on the Board and by all accounts should have been kicked out right now for a few nefarious acts, not to mention running the (against the school policy) poker enterprise in the senior center. And sure, the basketball playoffs are good-spirited. They're the playoffs and attendance at any sporting events at Sidwell do not draw the kids who are not part of the 'in' crowd, or even the generally happy kids.
Have my kids come out with a good education? They graduated (as recently as last year) seem to have. But do I think it is any different than elsewhere, no.
TL; DR - my kids can’t actually hack it and it’s good I paid the money to get them in early when it’s easier.
I’m the op who said this op was more accurate. Our dc entered in 9th was highly successful - they could 100% cut it. The place is not warm at all. Very draconian - Senior year the families that gushed at the senior year meeting for worship event were the uber wealthy long timers that Bryan courted - those people all had kids who got into Ivy League on their family connections while taking easiest classes possible. It was gross. They have no clue what the school is really like because they don’t face the same wall (or hand in the face) others do and (except a few) their kids aren’t taking the hardest classes with the teachers who compete with each other to get the label of hardest class in the school.
Again - my dc did great - so no sour grapes. Education is high level but it is not a good ‘school’ - teens need and deserve more out of school thanks grinding out work.
Your entire post reads like sour grapes. There are unhooked Sidwell students admitted to Ivy+ colleges every year who did not taken the hardest classes in every subject, every year. Sorry things didn’t work out that way for your kid. Btw, I don’t think your child did “great” by your standards. If they did, you would not have written this bitter post.
DP. Your unkindness and rejection of other perspectives is exactly what we hate about Sidwell. There are some serious pieces of work among the parent body.
We have children at other schools and agree that Sidwell’s balance between pressure and joy leans heavily toward pressure and less joy. My son teases his sister by calling Sidwell “Sadwell, No Friends.”
Our daughter thrives as much as it’s possible to do there and she would not want to leave. Knowing what we know now though we would have encouraged her to go elsewhere.
We have not been thrilled with Bryan’s leadership and the level of ruthlessness among some of the families is impressive in a not good way.
Too bad, so sad(well). 🤣
Hopefully, your family chooses “best fit” over prestige when selecting a college for your daughter. I’m positive the writing was on the wall before she enrolled that Sidwell wouldn’t be a great fit for her. You guys chose to ignore the signs.
You read my post with a spirit of meanness that pervades your posts and exemplifies my point. Our daughter is at the top of her class academically. Is that enough fit for you?
From a parents’s perspective I see peers that are ruthless about competing, sometimes trying to tear each other down in a nice, faux-Quaker way. I see academic demands that crowd out down time and exploration of non-academic interests. I see teachers who get off on making impossible demands so they can give themselves the title of toughest teacher.
Some of the parents are over the top. At no other school have I heard of a parent calling a college’s admissions office to try to sabotage another student’s application. While that was the most egregious example, I could cite many other instances of ugly parental behavior.
DP. “Fit” doesn’t only apply to academics. There are schools that are great academic fits and/or great social fits (which includes school culture). There are schools that are neither.
It sounds like Sidwell isn’t a great social fit for you or your daughter…and that’s ok. That’s no different than any other high school in this country.
Btw, how do you know your daughter is at the top of her class academically? And how do you define the top? Sidwell doesn’t rank, nor does it confer any academic honors. Further, there are some graduating classes where no students have a 4.0. I’m not saying your daughter isn’t at the top of her class. I’m asking how do you know that’s true?
I know because if you have friends in prior graduating classes you know what the top GPAs look like. It doesn’t change much from year to year. I wasn’t saying she’ll be valedictorian if that’s what you mean but she will likely be in the top 10.
You’re also making unfounded assumptions about fit. DD would say she’s happy and has lots of friends. Being a teen she shrugs off the relational aggression as people being anxious or stressed. That may be so but from an adult perspective it still makes for an unhealthy environment.
So from your perspective if someone points out the toxic unhealthy aspects of an institution it means they’re just not a good fit? By that token many Americans are a bad fit for US citizenship.
If your daughter is thriving academically and she would say “she’s happy and has lots of friends” at Sidwell, then it seems that Sidwell is only a bad fit for you. Your definition of a toxic and stressful environment isn’t universal, but you don’t seem to grasp that fact. Based on what you have said, I do believe that Sidwell is a toxic environment for you. Your daughter is happy at Sidwell and that is what matters most.
You still didn’t answer my question about how you define being “at the top” of Sidwell’s class. What does that cumulative GPA look like to you? Btw, I’m beginning to doubt that you’re a Sidwell parent because Sidwell hasn’t had a valedictorian for well over 30 years. Why would you even include that statement?
If you were a Sidwell parent, you’d already know.
I am a Sidwell parent, and I don’t know. You’re NOT a Sidwell parent, but you’re pretending to know. A real Sidwell parent knows better.
DP. Given your snarky tone, why would anyone feel obligated to help you?
I can guess how PP knows the range but am not inclined to share either.
You and the “PP” are the same person. You’re not a Sidwell parent so there’s nothing for you to share.
P.S. I just texted two Sidwell parents of US students (one is the parent of two lifers). Neither of them know the GPA range for the top 10 students either. You’ve been exposed as a fraud.
You texted two people who don’t know so therefore no one does? Brilliant logic there. Being a lifer is irrelevant to knowing the GPA range of the top students. The fact that you think it has relevance demonstrates how clueless and illogical you are.
Your frenzied and irrational responses would be funny if they weren’t so typical.
I have nothing to prove and no desire to provide you any helpful information.
Because you’re not a Sidwell parent. Move along, Sidwell Scammer.
Prospective Sidwell parents, take note. There are many Sidwell parents like this one who are entitled and demeaning toward others. Imagine how they’ve raised their children. Not all Sidwell parents and kids are like this but enough of them that it impacts the culture of the school.
Sidwell provides strong academics but at a cost. If you want top-notch academics with more social support and kindness, consider other schools. If you have a daughter, consider GDS and Holton. NCS is too similar to Sidwell. If you have a son, consider GDS and STA.
DP. Yes, please do NOT apply to Sidwell if you’re willing to substitute your own experience (eg, tours, information sessions, etc) for the opinions of those posting on an anonymous message board. Sidwell thanks you in advance.
Anonymous wrote:Slightly different perspective here. All of my US kids are lifers, so maybe that's why I come from a different place. Daily life at US is, despite the advertised virtues, short on the Quaker values implied to be at the core of the school's identity. The virtue signaling is over the top.
It's all relative to what other schools may be like. I don't know any other school so cannot speak to that. But my view is that the school's policies around academics (teacher's interactions with students) are draconian. Definitely not warm.
Also, the school's recent turn of focus to sports has undermined the atmosphere of academic excellence. That, again, just in my opinion, has suffered.
Socially, based on what I have heard from my kids over the years and what some acquaintances have shared, there's as much of a mean-kid culture at Sidwell as at any other school. There are the popular kids, the ahtletes, the mean girls, the 'try hards', and the senior whose mom is on the Board and by all accounts should have been kicked out right now for a few nefarious acts, not to mention running the (against the school policy) poker enterprise in the senior center. And sure, the basketball playoffs are good-spirited. They're the playoffs and attendance at any sporting events at Sidwell do not draw the kids who are not part of the 'in' crowd, or even the generally happy kids.
Have my kids come out with a good education? They graduated (as recently as last year) seem to have. But do I think it is any different than elsewhere, no.
TL; DR - my kids can’t actually hack it and it’s good I paid the money to get them in early when it’s easier.
I’m the op who said this op was more accurate. Our dc entered in 9th was highly successful - they could 100% cut it. The place is not warm at all. Very draconian - Senior year the families that gushed at the senior year meeting for worship event were the uber wealthy long timers that Bryan courted - those people all had kids who got into Ivy League on their family connections while taking easiest classes possible. It was gross. They have no clue what the school is really like because they don’t face the same wall (or hand in the face) others do and (except a few) their kids aren’t taking the hardest classes with the teachers who compete with each other to get the label of hardest class in the school.
Again - my dc did great - so no sour grapes. Education is high level but it is not a good ‘school’ - teens need and deserve more out of school thanks grinding out work.
Your entire post reads like sour grapes. There are unhooked Sidwell students admitted to Ivy+ colleges every year who did not taken the hardest classes in every subject, every year. Sorry things didn’t work out that way for your kid. Btw, I don’t think your child did “great” by your standards. If they did, you would not have written this bitter post.
DP. Your unkindness and rejection of other perspectives is exactly what we hate about Sidwell. There are some serious pieces of work among the parent body.
We have children at other schools and agree that Sidwell’s balance between pressure and joy leans heavily toward pressure and less joy. My son teases his sister by calling Sidwell “Sadwell, No Friends.”
Our daughter thrives as much as it’s possible to do there and she would not want to leave. Knowing what we know now though we would have encouraged her to go elsewhere.
We have not been thrilled with Bryan’s leadership and the level of ruthlessness among some of the families is impressive in a not good way.
Too bad, so sad(well). 🤣
Hopefully, your family chooses “best fit” over prestige when selecting a college for your daughter. I’m positive the writing was on the wall before she enrolled that Sidwell wouldn’t be a great fit for her. You guys chose to ignore the signs.
You read my post with a spirit of meanness that pervades your posts and exemplifies my point. Our daughter is at the top of her class academically. Is that enough fit for you?
From a parents’s perspective I see peers that are ruthless about competing, sometimes trying to tear each other down in a nice, faux-Quaker way. I see academic demands that crowd out down time and exploration of non-academic interests. I see teachers who get off on making impossible demands so they can give themselves the title of toughest teacher.
Some of the parents are over the top. At no other school have I heard of a parent calling a college’s admissions office to try to sabotage another student’s application. While that was the most egregious example, I could cite many other instances of ugly parental behavior.
DP. “Fit” doesn’t only apply to academics. There are schools that are great academic fits and/or great social fits (which includes school culture). There are schools that are neither.
It sounds like Sidwell isn’t a great social fit for you or your daughter…and that’s ok. That’s no different than any other high school in this country.
Btw, how do you know your daughter is at the top of her class academically? And how do you define the top? Sidwell doesn’t rank, nor does it confer any academic honors. Further, there are some graduating classes where no students have a 4.0. I’m not saying your daughter isn’t at the top of her class. I’m asking how do you know that’s true?
I know because if you have friends in prior graduating classes you know what the top GPAs look like. It doesn’t change much from year to year. I wasn’t saying she’ll be valedictorian if that’s what you mean but she will likely be in the top 10.
You’re also making unfounded assumptions about fit. DD would say she’s happy and has lots of friends. Being a teen she shrugs off the relational aggression as people being anxious or stressed. That may be so but from an adult perspective it still makes for an unhealthy environment.
So from your perspective if someone points out the toxic unhealthy aspects of an institution it means they’re just not a good fit? By that token many Americans are a bad fit for US citizenship.
If your daughter is thriving academically and she would say “she’s happy and has lots of friends” at Sidwell, then it seems that Sidwell is only a bad fit for you. Your definition of a toxic and stressful environment isn’t universal, but you don’t seem to grasp that fact. Based on what you have said, I do believe that Sidwell is a toxic environment for you. Your daughter is happy at Sidwell and that is what matters most.
You still didn’t answer my question about how you define being “at the top” of Sidwell’s class. What does that cumulative GPA look like to you? Btw, I’m beginning to doubt that you’re a Sidwell parent because Sidwell hasn’t had a valedictorian for well over 30 years. Why would you even include that statement?
If you were a Sidwell parent, you’d already know.
I am a Sidwell parent, and I don’t know. You’re NOT a Sidwell parent, but you’re pretending to know. A real Sidwell parent knows better.
DP. Given your snarky tone, why would anyone feel obligated to help you?
I can guess how PP knows the range but am not inclined to share either.
You and the “PP” are the same person. You’re not a Sidwell parent so there’s nothing for you to share.
P.S. I just texted two Sidwell parents of US students (one is the parent of two lifers). Neither of them know the GPA range for the top 10 students either. You’ve been exposed as a fraud.
You texted two people who don’t know so therefore no one does? Brilliant logic there. Being a lifer is irrelevant to knowing the GPA range of the top students. The fact that you think it has relevance demonstrates how clueless and illogical you are.
Your frenzied and irrational responses would be funny if they weren’t so typical.
I have nothing to prove and no desire to provide you any helpful information.
Because you’re not a Sidwell parent. Move along, Sidwell Scammer.
Prospective Sidwell parents, take note. There are many Sidwell parents like this one who are entitled and demeaning toward others. Imagine how they’ve raised their children. Not all Sidwell parents and kids are like this but enough of them that it impacts the culture of the school.
Sidwell provides strong academics but at a cost. If you want top-notch academics with more social support and kindness, consider other schools. If you have a daughter, consider GDS and Holton. NCS is too similar to Sidwell. If you have a son, consider GDS and STA.
DP. Yes, please do NOT apply to Sidwell if you’re willing to substitute your own experience (eg, tours, information sessions, etc) for the opinions of those posting on an anonymous message board. Sidwell thanks you in advance.
Tours and information sessions are stage-managed. Of course you shouldn't use DCUM as your only source of information but how a school's Cool Aid drinkers post can give you some hints to the real culture.
Anonymous wrote:Slightly different perspective here. All of my US kids are lifers, so maybe that's why I come from a different place. Daily life at US is, despite the advertised virtues, short on the Quaker values implied to be at the core of the school's identity. The virtue signaling is over the top.
It's all relative to what other schools may be like. I don't know any other school so cannot speak to that. But my view is that the school's policies around academics (teacher's interactions with students) are draconian. Definitely not warm.
Also, the school's recent turn of focus to sports has undermined the atmosphere of academic excellence. That, again, just in my opinion, has suffered.
Socially, based on what I have heard from my kids over the years and what some acquaintances have shared, there's as much of a mean-kid culture at Sidwell as at any other school. There are the popular kids, the ahtletes, the mean girls, the 'try hards', and the senior whose mom is on the Board and by all accounts should have been kicked out right now for a few nefarious acts, not to mention running the (against the school policy) poker enterprise in the senior center. And sure, the basketball playoffs are good-spirited. They're the playoffs and attendance at any sporting events at Sidwell do not draw the kids who are not part of the 'in' crowd, or even the generally happy kids.
Have my kids come out with a good education? They graduated (as recently as last year) seem to have. But do I think it is any different than elsewhere, no.
TL; DR - my kids can’t actually hack it and it’s good I paid the money to get them in early when it’s easier.
I’m the op who said this op was more accurate. Our dc entered in 9th was highly successful - they could 100% cut it. The place is not warm at all. Very draconian - Senior year the families that gushed at the senior year meeting for worship event were the uber wealthy long timers that Bryan courted - those people all had kids who got into Ivy League on their family connections while taking easiest classes possible. It was gross. They have no clue what the school is really like because they don’t face the same wall (or hand in the face) others do and (except a few) their kids aren’t taking the hardest classes with the teachers who compete with each other to get the label of hardest class in the school.
Again - my dc did great - so no sour grapes. Education is high level but it is not a good ‘school’ - teens need and deserve more out of school thanks grinding out work.
Your entire post reads like sour grapes. There are unhooked Sidwell students admitted to Ivy+ colleges every year who did not taken the hardest classes in every subject, every year. Sorry things didn’t work out that way for your kid. Btw, I don’t think your child did “great” by your standards. If they did, you would not have written this bitter post.
DP. Your unkindness and rejection of other perspectives is exactly what we hate about Sidwell. There are some serious pieces of work among the parent body.
We have children at other schools and agree that Sidwell’s balance between pressure and joy leans heavily toward pressure and less joy. My son teases his sister by calling Sidwell “Sadwell, No Friends.”
Our daughter thrives as much as it’s possible to do there and she would not want to leave. Knowing what we know now though we would have encouraged her to go elsewhere.
We have not been thrilled with Bryan’s leadership and the level of ruthlessness among some of the families is impressive in a not good way.
Too bad, so sad(well). 🤣
Hopefully, your family chooses “best fit” over prestige when selecting a college for your daughter. I’m positive the writing was on the wall before she enrolled that Sidwell wouldn’t be a great fit for her. You guys chose to ignore the signs.
You read my post with a spirit of meanness that pervades your posts and exemplifies my point. Our daughter is at the top of her class academically. Is that enough fit for you?
From a parents’s perspective I see peers that are ruthless about competing, sometimes trying to tear each other down in a nice, faux-Quaker way. I see academic demands that crowd out down time and exploration of non-academic interests. I see teachers who get off on making impossible demands so they can give themselves the title of toughest teacher.
Some of the parents are over the top. At no other school have I heard of a parent calling a college’s admissions office to try to sabotage another student’s application. While that was the most egregious example, I could cite many other instances of ugly parental behavior.
DP. “Fit” doesn’t only apply to academics. There are schools that are great academic fits and/or great social fits (which includes school culture). There are schools that are neither.
It sounds like Sidwell isn’t a great social fit for you or your daughter…and that’s ok. That’s no different than any other high school in this country.
Btw, how do you know your daughter is at the top of her class academically? And how do you define the top? Sidwell doesn’t rank, nor does it confer any academic honors. Further, there are some graduating classes where no students have a 4.0. I’m not saying your daughter isn’t at the top of her class. I’m asking how do you know that’s true?
I know because if you have friends in prior graduating classes you know what the top GPAs look like. It doesn’t change much from year to year. I wasn’t saying she’ll be valedictorian if that’s what you mean but she will likely be in the top 10.
You’re also making unfounded assumptions about fit. DD would say she’s happy and has lots of friends. Being a teen she shrugs off the relational aggression as people being anxious or stressed. That may be so but from an adult perspective it still makes for an unhealthy environment.
So from your perspective if someone points out the toxic unhealthy aspects of an institution it means they’re just not a good fit? By that token many Americans are a bad fit for US citizenship.
If your daughter is thriving academically and she would say “she’s happy and has lots of friends” at Sidwell, then it seems that Sidwell is only a bad fit for you. Your definition of a toxic and stressful environment isn’t universal, but you don’t seem to grasp that fact. Based on what you have said, I do believe that Sidwell is a toxic environment for you. Your daughter is happy at Sidwell and that is what matters most.
You still didn’t answer my question about how you define being “at the top” of Sidwell’s class. What does that cumulative GPA look like to you? Btw, I’m beginning to doubt that you’re a Sidwell parent because Sidwell hasn’t had a valedictorian for well over 30 years. Why would you even include that statement?
If you were a Sidwell parent, you’d already know.
I am a Sidwell parent, and I don’t know. You’re NOT a Sidwell parent, but you’re pretending to know. A real Sidwell parent knows better.
DP. Given your snarky tone, why would anyone feel obligated to help you?
I can guess how PP knows the range but am not inclined to share either.
You and the “PP” are the same person. You’re not a Sidwell parent so there’s nothing for you to share.
P.S. I just texted two Sidwell parents of US students (one is the parent of two lifers). Neither of them know the GPA range for the top 10 students either. You’ve been exposed as a fraud.
You texted two people who don’t know so therefore no one does? Brilliant logic there. Being a lifer is irrelevant to knowing the GPA range of the top students. The fact that you think it has relevance demonstrates how clueless and illogical you are.
Your frenzied and irrational responses would be funny if they weren’t so typical.
I have nothing to prove and no desire to provide you any helpful information.
Because you’re not a Sidwell parent. Move along, Sidwell Scammer.
Prospective Sidwell parents, take note. There are many Sidwell parents like this one who are entitled and demeaning toward others. Imagine how they’ve raised their children. Not all Sidwell parents and kids are like this but enough of them that it impacts the culture of the school.
Sidwell provides strong academics but at a cost. If you want top-notch academics with more social support and kindness, consider other schools. If you have a daughter, consider GDS and Holton. NCS is too similar to Sidwell. If you have a son, consider GDS and STA.
DP. Yes, please do NOT apply to Sidwell if you’re willing to substitute your own experience (eg, tours, information sessions, etc) for the opinions of those posting on an anonymous message board. Sidwell thanks you in advance.
Tours and information sessions are stage-managed. Of course you shouldn't use DCUM as your only source of information but how a school's Cool Aid drinkers post can give you some hints to the real culture.
Ok but the problem with DCUM is that you can’t tell who the real Sidwell parents are!
Anonymous wrote:Slightly different perspective here. All of my US kids are lifers, so maybe that's why I come from a different place. Daily life at US is, despite the advertised virtues, short on the Quaker values implied to be at the core of the school's identity. The virtue signaling is over the top.
It's all relative to what other schools may be like. I don't know any other school so cannot speak to that. But my view is that the school's policies around academics (teacher's interactions with students) are draconian. Definitely not warm.
Also, the school's recent turn of focus to sports has undermined the atmosphere of academic excellence. That, again, just in my opinion, has suffered.
Socially, based on what I have heard from my kids over the years and what some acquaintances have shared, there's as much of a mean-kid culture at Sidwell as at any other school. There are the popular kids, the ahtletes, the mean girls, the 'try hards', and the senior whose mom is on the Board and by all accounts should have been kicked out right now for a few nefarious acts, not to mention running the (against the school policy) poker enterprise in the senior center. And sure, the basketball playoffs are good-spirited. They're the playoffs and attendance at any sporting events at Sidwell do not draw the kids who are not part of the 'in' crowd, or even the generally happy kids.
Have my kids come out with a good education? They graduated (as recently as last year) seem to have. But do I think it is any different than elsewhere, no.
TL; DR - my kids can’t actually hack it and it’s good I paid the money to get them in early when it’s easier.
I’m the op who said this op was more accurate. Our dc entered in 9th was highly successful - they could 100% cut it. The place is not warm at all. Very draconian - Senior year the families that gushed at the senior year meeting for worship event were the uber wealthy long timers that Bryan courted - those people all had kids who got into Ivy League on their family connections while taking easiest classes possible. It was gross. They have no clue what the school is really like because they don’t face the same wall (or hand in the face) others do and (except a few) their kids aren’t taking the hardest classes with the teachers who compete with each other to get the label of hardest class in the school.
Again - my dc did great - so no sour grapes. Education is high level but it is not a good ‘school’ - teens need and deserve more out of school thanks grinding out work.
Your entire post reads like sour grapes. There are unhooked Sidwell students admitted to Ivy+ colleges every year who did not taken the hardest classes in every subject, every year. Sorry things didn’t work out that way for your kid. Btw, I don’t think your child did “great” by your standards. If they did, you would not have written this bitter post.
DP. Your unkindness and rejection of other perspectives is exactly what we hate about Sidwell. There are some serious pieces of work among the parent body.
We have children at other schools and agree that Sidwell’s balance between pressure and joy leans heavily toward pressure and less joy. My son teases his sister by calling Sidwell “Sadwell, No Friends.”
Our daughter thrives as much as it’s possible to do there and she would not want to leave. Knowing what we know now though we would have encouraged her to go elsewhere.
We have not been thrilled with Bryan’s leadership and the level of ruthlessness among some of the families is impressive in a not good way.
Too bad, so sad(well). 🤣
Hopefully, your family chooses “best fit” over prestige when selecting a college for your daughter. I’m positive the writing was on the wall before she enrolled that Sidwell wouldn’t be a great fit for her. You guys chose to ignore the signs.
You read my post with a spirit of meanness that pervades your posts and exemplifies my point. Our daughter is at the top of her class academically. Is that enough fit for you?
From a parents’s perspective I see peers that are ruthless about competing, sometimes trying to tear each other down in a nice, faux-Quaker way. I see academic demands that crowd out down time and exploration of non-academic interests. I see teachers who get off on making impossible demands so they can give themselves the title of toughest teacher.
Some of the parents are over the top. At no other school have I heard of a parent calling a college’s admissions office to try to sabotage another student’s application. While that was the most egregious example, I could cite many other instances of ugly parental behavior.
DP. “Fit” doesn’t only apply to academics. There are schools that are great academic fits and/or great social fits (which includes school culture). There are schools that are neither.
It sounds like Sidwell isn’t a great social fit for you or your daughter…and that’s ok. That’s no different than any other high school in this country.
Btw, how do you know your daughter is at the top of her class academically? And how do you define the top? Sidwell doesn’t rank, nor does it confer any academic honors. Further, there are some graduating classes where no students have a 4.0. I’m not saying your daughter isn’t at the top of her class. I’m asking how do you know that’s true?
I know because if you have friends in prior graduating classes you know what the top GPAs look like. It doesn’t change much from year to year. I wasn’t saying she’ll be valedictorian if that’s what you mean but she will likely be in the top 10.
You’re also making unfounded assumptions about fit. DD would say she’s happy and has lots of friends. Being a teen she shrugs off the relational aggression as people being anxious or stressed. That may be so but from an adult perspective it still makes for an unhealthy environment.
So from your perspective if someone points out the toxic unhealthy aspects of an institution it means they’re just not a good fit? By that token many Americans are a bad fit for US citizenship.
If your daughter is thriving academically and she would say “she’s happy and has lots of friends” at Sidwell, then it seems that Sidwell is only a bad fit for you. Your definition of a toxic and stressful environment isn’t universal, but you don’t seem to grasp that fact. Based on what you have said, I do believe that Sidwell is a toxic environment for you. Your daughter is happy at Sidwell and that is what matters most.
You still didn’t answer my question about how you define being “at the top” of Sidwell’s class. What does that cumulative GPA look like to you? Btw, I’m beginning to doubt that you’re a Sidwell parent because Sidwell hasn’t had a valedictorian for well over 30 years. Why would you even include that statement?
If you were a Sidwell parent, you’d already know.
I am a Sidwell parent, and I don’t know. You’re NOT a Sidwell parent, but you’re pretending to know. A real Sidwell parent knows better.
DP. Given your snarky tone, why would anyone feel obligated to help you?
I can guess how PP knows the range but am not inclined to share either.
You and the “PP” are the same person. You’re not a Sidwell parent so there’s nothing for you to share.
P.S. I just texted two Sidwell parents of US students (one is the parent of two lifers). Neither of them know the GPA range for the top 10 students either. You’ve been exposed as a fraud.
You texted two people who don’t know so therefore no one does? Brilliant logic there. Being a lifer is irrelevant to knowing the GPA range of the top students. The fact that you think it has relevance demonstrates how clueless and illogical you are.
Your frenzied and irrational responses would be funny if they weren’t so typical.
I have nothing to prove and no desire to provide you any helpful information.
Because you’re not a Sidwell parent. Move along, Sidwell Scammer.
Prospective Sidwell parents, take note. There are many Sidwell parents like this one who are entitled and demeaning toward others. Imagine how they’ve raised their children. Not all Sidwell parents and kids are like this but enough of them that it impacts the culture of the school.
Sidwell provides strong academics but at a cost. If you want top-notch academics with more social support and kindness, consider other schools. If you have a daughter, consider GDS and Holton. NCS is too similar to Sidwell. If you have a son, consider GDS and STA.
DP. Yes, please do NOT apply to Sidwell if you’re willing to substitute your own experience (eg, tours, information sessions, etc) for the opinions of those posting on an anonymous message board. Sidwell thanks you in advance.
Tours and information sessions are stage-managed. Of course you shouldn't use DCUM as your only source of information but how a school's Cool Aid drinkers post can give you some hints to the real culture.
1. You must have missed the “etc” in that sentence—there are other ways to obtain information;
2. There isn’t a single school tour I went on where I didn’t walk over to random students (non-stage managed or preselected) and ask about their experiences at the school. They were all willing to chat freely; and
3. It’s Kool-Aid. You’re drinking the “hate on Sidwell” flavor.
Tool and thin-skinned. Keep reporting posts that don’t agree with you. Prove people’s point. Any school is what you make of it. If you’re a Negative Nelly you won’t be liked
Anonymous wrote:Slightly different perspective here. All of my US kids are lifers, so maybe that's why I come from a different place. Daily life at US is, despite the advertised virtues, short on the Quaker values implied to be at the core of the school's identity. The virtue signaling is over the top.
It's all relative to what other schools may be like. I don't know any other school so cannot speak to that. But my view is that the school's policies around academics (teacher's interactions with students) are draconian. Definitely not warm.
Also, the school's recent turn of focus to sports has undermined the atmosphere of academic excellence. That, again, just in my opinion, has suffered.
Socially, based on what I have heard from my kids over the years and what some acquaintances have shared, there's as much of a mean-kid culture at Sidwell as at any other school. There are the popular kids, the ahtletes, the mean girls, the 'try hards', and the senior whose mom is on the Board and by all accounts should have been kicked out right now for a few nefarious acts, not to mention running the (against the school policy) poker enterprise in the senior center. And sure, the basketball playoffs are good-spirited. They're the playoffs and attendance at any sporting events at Sidwell do not draw the kids who are not part of the 'in' crowd, or even the generally happy kids.
Have my kids come out with a good education? They graduated (as recently as last year) seem to have. But do I think it is any different than elsewhere, no.
TL; DR - my kids can’t actually hack it and it’s good I paid the money to get them in early when it’s easier.
I’m the op who said this op was more accurate. Our dc entered in 9th was highly successful - they could 100% cut it. The place is not warm at all. Very draconian - Senior year the families that gushed at the senior year meeting for worship event were the uber wealthy long timers that Bryan courted - those people all had kids who got into Ivy League on their family connections while taking easiest classes possible. It was gross. They have no clue what the school is really like because they don’t face the same wall (or hand in the face) others do and (except a few) their kids aren’t taking the hardest classes with the teachers who compete with each other to get the label of hardest class in the school.
Again - my dc did great - so no sour grapes. Education is high level but it is not a good ‘school’ - teens need and deserve more out of school thanks grinding out work.
Your entire post reads like sour grapes. There are unhooked Sidwell students admitted to Ivy+ colleges every year who did not taken the hardest classes in every subject, every year. Sorry things didn’t work out that way for your kid. Btw, I don’t think your child did “great” by your standards. If they did, you would not have written this bitter post.
DP. Your unkindness and rejection of other perspectives is exactly what we hate about Sidwell. There are some serious pieces of work among the parent body.
We have children at other schools and agree that Sidwell’s balance between pressure and joy leans heavily toward pressure and less joy. My son teases his sister by calling Sidwell “Sadwell, No Friends.”
Our daughter thrives as much as it’s possible to do there and she would not want to leave. Knowing what we know now though we would have encouraged her to go elsewhere.
We have not been thrilled with Bryan’s leadership and the level of ruthlessness among some of the families is impressive in a not good way.
Too bad, so sad(well). 🤣
Hopefully, your family chooses “best fit” over prestige when selecting a college for your daughter. I’m positive the writing was on the wall before she enrolled that Sidwell wouldn’t be a great fit for her. You guys chose to ignore the signs.
You read my post with a spirit of meanness that pervades your posts and exemplifies my point. Our daughter is at the top of her class academically. Is that enough fit for you?
From a parents’s perspective I see peers that are ruthless about competing, sometimes trying to tear each other down in a nice, faux-Quaker way. I see academic demands that crowd out down time and exploration of non-academic interests. I see teachers who get off on making impossible demands so they can give themselves the title of toughest teacher.
Some of the parents are over the top. At no other school have I heard of a parent calling a college’s admissions office to try to sabotage another student’s application. While that was the most egregious example, I could cite many other instances of ugly parental behavior.
DP. “Fit” doesn’t only apply to academics. There are schools that are great academic fits and/or great social fits (which includes school culture). There are schools that are neither.
It sounds like Sidwell isn’t a great social fit for you or your daughter…and that’s ok. That’s no different than any other high school in this country.
Btw, how do you know your daughter is at the top of her class academically? And how do you define the top? Sidwell doesn’t rank, nor does it confer any academic honors. Further, there are some graduating classes where no students have a 4.0. I’m not saying your daughter isn’t at the top of her class. I’m asking how do you know that’s true?
I know because if you have friends in prior graduating classes you know what the top GPAs look like. It doesn’t change much from year to year. I wasn’t saying she’ll be valedictorian if that’s what you mean but she will likely be in the top 10.
You’re also making unfounded assumptions about fit. DD would say she’s happy and has lots of friends. Being a teen she shrugs off the relational aggression as people being anxious or stressed. That may be so but from an adult perspective it still makes for an unhealthy environment.
So from your perspective if someone points out the toxic unhealthy aspects of an institution it means they’re just not a good fit? By that token many Americans are a bad fit for US citizenship.
If your daughter is thriving academically and she would say “she’s happy and has lots of friends” at Sidwell, then it seems that Sidwell is only a bad fit for you. Your definition of a toxic and stressful environment isn’t universal, but you don’t seem to grasp that fact. Based on what you have said, I do believe that Sidwell is a toxic environment for you. Your daughter is happy at Sidwell and that is what matters most.
You still didn’t answer my question about how you define being “at the top” of Sidwell’s class. What does that cumulative GPA look like to you? Btw, I’m beginning to doubt that you’re a Sidwell parent because Sidwell hasn’t had a valedictorian for well over 30 years. Why would you even include that statement?
If you were a Sidwell parent, you’d already know.
I am a Sidwell parent, and I don’t know. You’re NOT a Sidwell parent, but you’re pretending to know. A real Sidwell parent knows better.
DP. Given your snarky tone, why would anyone feel obligated to help you?
I can guess how PP knows the range but am not inclined to share either.
You and the “PP” are the same person. You’re not a Sidwell parent so there’s nothing for you to share.
P.S. I just texted two Sidwell parents of US students (one is the parent of two lifers). Neither of them know the GPA range for the top 10 students either. You’ve been exposed as a fraud.
You texted two people who don’t know so therefore no one does? Brilliant logic there. Being a lifer is irrelevant to knowing the GPA range of the top students. The fact that you think it has relevance demonstrates how clueless and illogical you are.
Your frenzied and irrational responses would be funny if they weren’t so typical.
I have nothing to prove and no desire to provide you any helpful information.
Because you’re not a Sidwell parent. Move along, Sidwell Scammer.
Prospective Sidwell parents, take note. There are many Sidwell parents like this one who are entitled and demeaning toward others. Imagine how they’ve raised their children. Not all Sidwell parents and kids are like this but enough of them that it impacts the culture of the school.
Sidwell provides strong academics but at a cost. If you want top-notch academics with more social support and kindness, consider other schools. If you have a daughter, consider GDS and Holton. NCS is too similar to Sidwell. If you have a son, consider GDS and STA.
DP. Yes, please do NOT apply to Sidwell if you’re willing to substitute your own experience (eg, tours, information sessions, etc) for the opinions of those posting on an anonymous message board. Sidwell thanks you in advance.
Tours and information sessions are stage-managed. Of course you shouldn't use DCUM as your only source of information but how a school's Cool Aid drinkers post can give you some hints to the real culture.
1. You must have missed the “etc” in that sentence—there are other ways to obtain information;
2. There isn’t a single school tour I went on where I didn’t walk over to random students (non-stage managed or preselected) and ask about their experiences at the school. They were all willing to chat freely; and
3. It’s Kool-Aid. You’re drinking the “hate on Sidwell” flavor.
That’s a freaky thing to do on a tour. Just underscores how crazy and lacking in perspective some Sidwell parents are.
Anonymous wrote:Slightly different perspective here. All of my US kids are lifers, so maybe that's why I come from a different place. Daily life at US is, despite the advertised virtues, short on the Quaker values implied to be at the core of the school's identity. The virtue signaling is over the top.
It's all relative to what other schools may be like. I don't know any other school so cannot speak to that. But my view is that the school's policies around academics (teacher's interactions with students) are draconian. Definitely not warm.
Also, the school's recent turn of focus to sports has undermined the atmosphere of academic excellence. That, again, just in my opinion, has suffered.
Socially, based on what I have heard from my kids over the years and what some acquaintances have shared, there's as much of a mean-kid culture at Sidwell as at any other school. There are the popular kids, the ahtletes, the mean girls, the 'try hards', and the senior whose mom is on the Board and by all accounts should have been kicked out right now for a few nefarious acts, not to mention running the (against the school policy) poker enterprise in the senior center. And sure, the basketball playoffs are good-spirited. They're the playoffs and attendance at any sporting events at Sidwell do not draw the kids who are not part of the 'in' crowd, or even the generally happy kids.
Have my kids come out with a good education? They graduated (as recently as last year) seem to have. But do I think it is any different than elsewhere, no.
TL; DR - my kids can’t actually hack it and it’s good I paid the money to get them in early when it’s easier.
I’m the op who said this op was more accurate. Our dc entered in 9th was highly successful - they could 100% cut it. The place is not warm at all. Very draconian - Senior year the families that gushed at the senior year meeting for worship event were the uber wealthy long timers that Bryan courted - those people all had kids who got into Ivy League on their family connections while taking easiest classes possible. It was gross. They have no clue what the school is really like because they don’t face the same wall (or hand in the face) others do and (except a few) their kids aren’t taking the hardest classes with the teachers who compete with each other to get the label of hardest class in the school.
Again - my dc did great - so no sour grapes. Education is high level but it is not a good ‘school’ - teens need and deserve more out of school thanks grinding out work.
Your entire post reads like sour grapes. There are unhooked Sidwell students admitted to Ivy+ colleges every year who did not taken the hardest classes in every subject, every year. Sorry things didn’t work out that way for your kid. Btw, I don’t think your child did “great” by your standards. If they did, you would not have written this bitter post.
DP. Your unkindness and rejection of other perspectives is exactly what we hate about Sidwell. There are some serious pieces of work among the parent body.
We have children at other schools and agree that Sidwell’s balance between pressure and joy leans heavily toward pressure and less joy. My son teases his sister by calling Sidwell “Sadwell, No Friends.”
Our daughter thrives as much as it’s possible to do there and she would not want to leave. Knowing what we know now though we would have encouraged her to go elsewhere.
We have not been thrilled with Bryan’s leadership and the level of ruthlessness among some of the families is impressive in a not good way.
Too bad, so sad(well). 🤣
Hopefully, your family chooses “best fit” over prestige when selecting a college for your daughter. I’m positive the writing was on the wall before she enrolled that Sidwell wouldn’t be a great fit for her. You guys chose to ignore the signs.
You read my post with a spirit of meanness that pervades your posts and exemplifies my point. Our daughter is at the top of her class academically. Is that enough fit for you?
From a parents’s perspective I see peers that are ruthless about competing, sometimes trying to tear each other down in a nice, faux-Quaker way. I see academic demands that crowd out down time and exploration of non-academic interests. I see teachers who get off on making impossible demands so they can give themselves the title of toughest teacher.
Some of the parents are over the top. At no other school have I heard of a parent calling a college’s admissions office to try to sabotage another student’s application. While that was the most egregious example, I could cite many other instances of ugly parental behavior.
DP. “Fit” doesn’t only apply to academics. There are schools that are great academic fits and/or great social fits (which includes school culture). There are schools that are neither.
It sounds like Sidwell isn’t a great social fit for you or your daughter…and that’s ok. That’s no different than any other high school in this country.
Btw, how do you know your daughter is at the top of her class academically? And how do you define the top? Sidwell doesn’t rank, nor does it confer any academic honors. Further, there are some graduating classes where no students have a 4.0. I’m not saying your daughter isn’t at the top of her class. I’m asking how do you know that’s true?
I know because if you have friends in prior graduating classes you know what the top GPAs look like. It doesn’t change much from year to year. I wasn’t saying she’ll be valedictorian if that’s what you mean but she will likely be in the top 10.
You’re also making unfounded assumptions about fit. DD would say she’s happy and has lots of friends. Being a teen she shrugs off the relational aggression as people being anxious or stressed. That may be so but from an adult perspective it still makes for an unhealthy environment.
So from your perspective if someone points out the toxic unhealthy aspects of an institution it means they’re just not a good fit? By that token many Americans are a bad fit for US citizenship.
If your daughter is thriving academically and she would say “she’s happy and has lots of friends” at Sidwell, then it seems that Sidwell is only a bad fit for you. Your definition of a toxic and stressful environment isn’t universal, but you don’t seem to grasp that fact. Based on what you have said, I do believe that Sidwell is a toxic environment for you. Your daughter is happy at Sidwell and that is what matters most.
You still didn’t answer my question about how you define being “at the top” of Sidwell’s class. What does that cumulative GPA look like to you? Btw, I’m beginning to doubt that you’re a Sidwell parent because Sidwell hasn’t had a valedictorian for well over 30 years. Why would you even include that statement?
If you were a Sidwell parent, you’d already know.
I am a Sidwell parent, and I don’t know. You’re NOT a Sidwell parent, but you’re pretending to know. A real Sidwell parent knows better.
DP. Given your snarky tone, why would anyone feel obligated to help you?
I can guess how PP knows the range but am not inclined to share either.
You and the “PP” are the same person. You’re not a Sidwell parent so there’s nothing for you to share.
P.S. I just texted two Sidwell parents of US students (one is the parent of two lifers). Neither of them know the GPA range for the top 10 students either. You’ve been exposed as a fraud.
You texted two people who don’t know so therefore no one does? Brilliant logic there. Being a lifer is irrelevant to knowing the GPA range of the top students. The fact that you think it has relevance demonstrates how clueless and illogical you are.
Your frenzied and irrational responses would be funny if they weren’t so typical.
I have nothing to prove and no desire to provide you any helpful information.
Because you’re not a Sidwell parent. Move along, Sidwell Scammer.
Prospective Sidwell parents, take note. There are many Sidwell parents like this one who are entitled and demeaning toward others. Imagine how they’ve raised their children. Not all Sidwell parents and kids are like this but enough of them that it impacts the culture of the school.
Sidwell provides strong academics but at a cost. If you want top-notch academics with more social support and kindness, consider other schools. If you have a daughter, consider GDS and Holton. NCS is too similar to Sidwell. If you have a son, consider GDS and STA.
DP. Yes, please do NOT apply to Sidwell if you’re willing to substitute your own experience (eg, tours, information sessions, etc) for the opinions of those posting on an anonymous message board. Sidwell thanks you in advance.
Tours and information sessions are stage-managed. Of course you shouldn't use DCUM as your only source of information but how a school's Cool Aid drinkers post can give you some hints to the real culture.
1. You must have missed the “etc” in that sentence—there are other ways to obtain information;
2. There isn’t a single school tour I went on where I didn’t walk over to random students (non-stage managed or preselected) and ask about their experiences at the school. They were all willing to chat freely; and
3. It’s Kool-Aid. You’re drinking the “hate on Sidwell” flavor.
That’s a freaky thing to do on a tour. Just underscores how crazy and lacking in perspective some Sidwell parents are.
NP. Your posts reek of bitterness and envy.
I would never waste my time or energy trolling threads about schools my children don’t attend.* Do better.
* Don’t try to lie and say your children attend Sidwell. It’s obvious they do not.
Anonymous wrote:Slightly different perspective here. All of my US kids are lifers, so maybe that's why I come from a different place. Daily life at US is, despite the advertised virtues, short on the Quaker values implied to be at the core of the school's identity. The virtue signaling is over the top.
It's all relative to what other schools may be like. I don't know any other school so cannot speak to that. But my view is that the school's policies around academics (teacher's interactions with students) are draconian. Definitely not warm.
Also, the school's recent turn of focus to sports has undermined the atmosphere of academic excellence. That, again, just in my opinion, has suffered.
Socially, based on what I have heard from my kids over the years and what some acquaintances have shared, there's as much of a mean-kid culture at Sidwell as at any other school. There are the popular kids, the ahtletes, the mean girls, the 'try hards', and the senior whose mom is on the Board and by all accounts should have been kicked out right now for a few nefarious acts, not to mention running the (against the school policy) poker enterprise in the senior center. And sure, the basketball playoffs are good-spirited. They're the playoffs and attendance at any sporting events at Sidwell do not draw the kids who are not part of the 'in' crowd, or even the generally happy kids.
Have my kids come out with a good education? They graduated (as recently as last year) seem to have. But do I think it is any different than elsewhere, no.
TL; DR - my kids can’t actually hack it and it’s good I paid the money to get them in early when it’s easier.
I’m the op who said this op was more accurate. Our dc entered in 9th was highly successful - they could 100% cut it. The place is not warm at all. Very draconian - Senior year the families that gushed at the senior year meeting for worship event were the uber wealthy long timers that Bryan courted - those people all had kids who got into Ivy League on their family connections while taking easiest classes possible. It was gross. They have no clue what the school is really like because they don’t face the same wall (or hand in the face) others do and (except a few) their kids aren’t taking the hardest classes with the teachers who compete with each other to get the label of hardest class in the school.
Again - my dc did great - so no sour grapes. Education is high level but it is not a good ‘school’ - teens need and deserve more out of school thanks grinding out work.
Your entire post reads like sour grapes. There are unhooked Sidwell students admitted to Ivy+ colleges every year who did not taken the hardest classes in every subject, every year. Sorry things didn’t work out that way for your kid. Btw, I don’t think your child did “great” by your standards. If they did, you would not have written this bitter post.
DP. Your unkindness and rejection of other perspectives is exactly what we hate about Sidwell. There are some serious pieces of work among the parent body.
We have children at other schools and agree that Sidwell’s balance between pressure and joy leans heavily toward pressure and less joy. My son teases his sister by calling Sidwell “Sadwell, No Friends.”
Our daughter thrives as much as it’s possible to do there and she would not want to leave. Knowing what we know now though we would have encouraged her to go elsewhere.
We have not been thrilled with Bryan’s leadership and the level of ruthlessness among some of the families is impressive in a not good way.
Too bad, so sad(well). 🤣
Hopefully, your family chooses “best fit” over prestige when selecting a college for your daughter. I’m positive the writing was on the wall before she enrolled that Sidwell wouldn’t be a great fit for her. You guys chose to ignore the signs.
You read my post with a spirit of meanness that pervades your posts and exemplifies my point. Our daughter is at the top of her class academically. Is that enough fit for you?
From a parents’s perspective I see peers that are ruthless about competing, sometimes trying to tear each other down in a nice, faux-Quaker way. I see academic demands that crowd out down time and exploration of non-academic interests. I see teachers who get off on making impossible demands so they can give themselves the title of toughest teacher.
Some of the parents are over the top. At no other school have I heard of a parent calling a college’s admissions office to try to sabotage another student’s application. While that was the most egregious example, I could cite many other instances of ugly parental behavior.
DP. “Fit” doesn’t only apply to academics. There are schools that are great academic fits and/or great social fits (which includes school culture). There are schools that are neither.
It sounds like Sidwell isn’t a great social fit for you or your daughter…and that’s ok. That’s no different than any other high school in this country.
Btw, how do you know your daughter is at the top of her class academically? And how do you define the top? Sidwell doesn’t rank, nor does it confer any academic honors. Further, there are some graduating classes where no students have a 4.0. I’m not saying your daughter isn’t at the top of her class. I’m asking how do you know that’s true?
I know because if you have friends in prior graduating classes you know what the top GPAs look like. It doesn’t change much from year to year. I wasn’t saying she’ll be valedictorian if that’s what you mean but she will likely be in the top 10.
You’re also making unfounded assumptions about fit. DD would say she’s happy and has lots of friends. Being a teen she shrugs off the relational aggression as people being anxious or stressed. That may be so but from an adult perspective it still makes for an unhealthy environment.
So from your perspective if someone points out the toxic unhealthy aspects of an institution it means they’re just not a good fit? By that token many Americans are a bad fit for US citizenship.
If your daughter is thriving academically and she would say “she’s happy and has lots of friends” at Sidwell, then it seems that Sidwell is only a bad fit for you. Your definition of a toxic and stressful environment isn’t universal, but you don’t seem to grasp that fact. Based on what you have said, I do believe that Sidwell is a toxic environment for you. Your daughter is happy at Sidwell and that is what matters most.
You still didn’t answer my question about how you define being “at the top” of Sidwell’s class. What does that cumulative GPA look like to you? Btw, I’m beginning to doubt that you’re a Sidwell parent because Sidwell hasn’t had a valedictorian for well over 30 years. Why would you even include that statement?
If you were a Sidwell parent, you’d already know.
I am a Sidwell parent, and I don’t know. You’re NOT a Sidwell parent, but you’re pretending to know. A real Sidwell parent knows better.
DP. Given your snarky tone, why would anyone feel obligated to help you?
I can guess how PP knows the range but am not inclined to share either.
You and the “PP” are the same person. You’re not a Sidwell parent so there’s nothing for you to share.
P.S. I just texted two Sidwell parents of US students (one is the parent of two lifers). Neither of them know the GPA range for the top 10 students either. You’ve been exposed as a fraud.
You texted two people who don’t know so therefore no one does? Brilliant logic there. Being a lifer is irrelevant to knowing the GPA range of the top students. The fact that you think it has relevance demonstrates how clueless and illogical you are.
Your frenzied and irrational responses would be funny if they weren’t so typical.
I have nothing to prove and no desire to provide you any helpful information.
Because you’re not a Sidwell parent. Move along, Sidwell Scammer.
Prospective Sidwell parents, take note. There are many Sidwell parents like this one who are entitled and demeaning toward others. Imagine how they’ve raised their children. Not all Sidwell parents and kids are like this but enough of them that it impacts the culture of the school.
Sidwell provides strong academics but at a cost. If you want top-notch academics with more social support and kindness, consider other schools. If you have a daughter, consider GDS and Holton. NCS is too similar to Sidwell. If you have a son, consider GDS and STA.
DP. Yes, please do NOT apply to Sidwell if you’re willing to substitute your own experience (eg, tours, information sessions, etc) for the opinions of those posting on an anonymous message board. Sidwell thanks you in advance.
Tours and information sessions are stage-managed. Of course you shouldn't use DCUM as your only source of information but how a school's Cool Aid drinkers post can give you some hints to the real culture.
1. You must have missed the “etc” in that sentence—there are other ways to obtain information;
2. There isn’t a single school tour I went on where I didn’t walk over to random students (non-stage managed or preselected) and ask about their experiences at the school. They were all willing to chat freely; and
3. It’s Kool-Aid. You’re drinking the “hate on Sidwell” flavor.
That’s a freaky thing to do on a tour. Just underscores how crazy and lacking in perspective some Sidwell parents are.
If they are on a tour, they are not yet a Sidwell parent and if they are doing this on a tour, they probably won't be.
Anonymous wrote:Man 7 pages trying to convince everyone it’s a happy place. Yipes
I’d like to point out that saying ‘I wouldn’t describe Sidwell as a happy place ‘ is not the same as saying ‘ Sidwell is a miserable place. ‘
It’s an intense culture from student and from teachers - and it does not equate to a happy, joyous culture. If you are looking for genuine fun mixed into high level academics it’s not the place. Other do this balance better. In my opinion the intensity is higher than needed but it’s not going to change - it is what it is and the school will be the first to say a certain type thrives there. (And if argue their definition of thrive is weighted more to academic outcome than to whole child growth)
Some kids self select into this by being intense themselves. Families self select into it by placing a perception of seriousness equals better academics or by merely chasing prestige. Teachers self select by wanting also wanting prestige and then some by competing to have hardest class label. Not every student, family, teacher fits into the above description of the self selection category but placing enough of these types all into the equation has an outcome. It’s not one of happiness. But it doesn’t mean every is miserable either.
Anonymous wrote:Slightly different perspective here. All of my US kids are lifers, so maybe that's why I come from a different place. Daily life at US is, despite the advertised virtues, short on the Quaker values implied to be at the core of the school's identity. The virtue signaling is over the top.
It's all relative to what other schools may be like. I don't know any other school so cannot speak to that. But my view is that the school's policies around academics (teacher's interactions with students) are draconian. Definitely not warm.
Also, the school's recent turn of focus to sports has undermined the atmosphere of academic excellence. That, again, just in my opinion, has suffered.
Socially, based on what I have heard from my kids over the years and what some acquaintances have shared, there's as much of a mean-kid culture at Sidwell as at any other school. There are the popular kids, the ahtletes, the mean girls, the 'try hards', and the senior whose mom is on the Board and by all accounts should have been kicked out right now for a few nefarious acts, not to mention running the (against the school policy) poker enterprise in the senior center. And sure, the basketball playoffs are good-spirited. They're the playoffs and attendance at any sporting events at Sidwell do not draw the kids who are not part of the 'in' crowd, or even the generally happy kids.
Have my kids come out with a good education? They graduated (as recently as last year) seem to have. But do I think it is any different than elsewhere, no.
TL; DR - my kids can’t actually hack it and it’s good I paid the money to get them in early when it’s easier.
I’m the op who said this op was more accurate. Our dc entered in 9th was highly successful - they could 100% cut it. The place is not warm at all. Very draconian - Senior year the families that gushed at the senior year meeting for worship event were the uber wealthy long timers that Bryan courted - those people all had kids who got into Ivy League on their family connections while taking easiest classes possible. It was gross. They have no clue what the school is really like because they don’t face the same wall (or hand in the face) others do and (except a few) their kids aren’t taking the hardest classes with the teachers who compete with each other to get the label of hardest class in the school.
Again - my dc did great - so no sour grapes. Education is high level but it is not a good ‘school’ - teens need and deserve more out of school thanks grinding out work.
Your entire post reads like sour grapes. There are unhooked Sidwell students admitted to Ivy+ colleges every year who did not taken the hardest classes in every subject, every year. Sorry things didn’t work out that way for your kid. Btw, I don’t think your child did “great” by your standards. If they did, you would not have written this bitter post.
DP. Your unkindness and rejection of other perspectives is exactly what we hate about Sidwell. There are some serious pieces of work among the parent body.
We have children at other schools and agree that Sidwell’s balance between pressure and joy leans heavily toward pressure and less joy. My son teases his sister by calling Sidwell “Sadwell, No Friends.”
Our daughter thrives as much as it’s possible to do there and she would not want to leave. Knowing what we know now though we would have encouraged her to go elsewhere.
We have not been thrilled with Bryan’s leadership and the level of ruthlessness among some of the families is impressive in a not good way.
Too bad, so sad(well). 🤣
Hopefully, your family chooses “best fit” over prestige when selecting a college for your daughter. I’m positive the writing was on the wall before she enrolled that Sidwell wouldn’t be a great fit for her. You guys chose to ignore the signs.
You read my post with a spirit of meanness that pervades your posts and exemplifies my point. Our daughter is at the top of her class academically. Is that enough fit for you?
From a parents’s perspective I see peers that are ruthless about competing, sometimes trying to tear each other down in a nice, faux-Quaker way. I see academic demands that crowd out down time and exploration of non-academic interests. I see teachers who get off on making impossible demands so they can give themselves the title of toughest teacher.
Some of the parents are over the top. At no other school have I heard of a parent calling a college’s admissions office to try to sabotage another student’s application. While that was the most egregious example, I could cite many other instances of ugly parental behavior.
DP. “Fit” doesn’t only apply to academics. There are schools that are great academic fits and/or great social fits (which includes school culture). There are schools that are neither.
It sounds like Sidwell isn’t a great social fit for you or your daughter…and that’s ok. That’s no different than any other high school in this country.
Btw, how do you know your daughter is at the top of her class academically? And how do you define the top? Sidwell doesn’t rank, nor does it confer any academic honors. Further, there are some graduating classes where no students have a 4.0. I’m not saying your daughter isn’t at the top of her class. I’m asking how do you know that’s true?
I know because if you have friends in prior graduating classes you know what the top GPAs look like. It doesn’t change much from year to year. I wasn’t saying she’ll be valedictorian if that’s what you mean but she will likely be in the top 10.
You’re also making unfounded assumptions about fit. DD would say she’s happy and has lots of friends. Being a teen she shrugs off the relational aggression as people being anxious or stressed. That may be so but from an adult perspective it still makes for an unhealthy environment.
So from your perspective if someone points out the toxic unhealthy aspects of an institution it means they’re just not a good fit? By that token many Americans are a bad fit for US citizenship.
If your daughter is thriving academically and she would say “she’s happy and has lots of friends” at Sidwell, then it seems that Sidwell is only a bad fit for you. Your definition of a toxic and stressful environment isn’t universal, but you don’t seem to grasp that fact. Based on what you have said, I do believe that Sidwell is a toxic environment for you. Your daughter is happy at Sidwell and that is what matters most.
You still didn’t answer my question about how you define being “at the top” of Sidwell’s class. What does that cumulative GPA look like to you? Btw, I’m beginning to doubt that you’re a Sidwell parent because Sidwell hasn’t had a valedictorian for well over 30 years. Why would you even include that statement?
If you were a Sidwell parent, you’d already know.
I am a Sidwell parent, and I don’t know. You’re NOT a Sidwell parent, but you’re pretending to know. A real Sidwell parent knows better.
DP. Given your snarky tone, why would anyone feel obligated to help you?
I can guess how PP knows the range but am not inclined to share either.
You and the “PP” are the same person. You’re not a Sidwell parent so there’s nothing for you to share.
P.S. I just texted two Sidwell parents of US students (one is the parent of two lifers). Neither of them know the GPA range for the top 10 students either. You’ve been exposed as a fraud.
You texted two people who don’t know so therefore no one does? Brilliant logic there. Being a lifer is irrelevant to knowing the GPA range of the top students. The fact that you think it has relevance demonstrates how clueless and illogical you are.
Your frenzied and irrational responses would be funny if they weren’t so typical.
I have nothing to prove and no desire to provide you any helpful information.
Because you’re not a Sidwell parent. Move along, Sidwell Scammer.
Prospective Sidwell parents, take note. There are many Sidwell parents like this one who are entitled and demeaning toward others. Imagine how they’ve raised their children. Not all Sidwell parents and kids are like this but enough of them that it impacts the culture of the school.
Sidwell provides strong academics but at a cost. If you want top-notch academics with more social support and kindness, consider other schools. If you have a daughter, consider GDS and Holton. NCS is too similar to Sidwell. If you have a son, consider GDS and STA.
DP. Yes, please do NOT apply to Sidwell if you’re willing to substitute your own experience (eg, tours, information sessions, etc) for the opinions of those posting on an anonymous message board. Sidwell thanks you in advance.
Tours and information sessions are stage-managed. Of course you shouldn't use DCUM as your only source of information but how a school's Cool Aid drinkers post can give you some hints to the real culture.
1. You must have missed the “etc” in that sentence—there are other ways to obtain information;
2. There isn’t a single school tour I went on where I didn’t walk over to random students (non-stage managed or preselected) and ask about their experiences at the school. They were all willing to chat freely; and
3. It’s Kool-Aid. You’re drinking the “hate on Sidwell” flavor.
That’s a freaky thing to do on a tour. Just underscores how crazy and lacking in perspective some Sidwell parents are.
If they are on a tour, they are not yet a Sidwell parent and if they are doing this on a tour, they probably won't be.
I did this on several school tours (spoke with a couple of students AFTER the official school tour). My children were later admitted to Sidwell, NCS, Maret, and Holton Arms. Just because you think something is verboten doesn’t mean it is.
Anonymous wrote:Man 7 pages trying to convince everyone it’s a happy place. Yipes
I’d like to point out that saying ‘I wouldn’t describe Sidwell as a happy place ‘ is not the same as saying ‘ Sidwell is a miserable place. ‘
It’s an intense culture from student and from teachers - and it does not equate to a happy, joyous culture. If you are looking for genuine fun mixed into high level academics it’s not the place. Other do this balance better. In my opinion the intensity is higher than needed but it’s not going to change - it is what it is and the school will be the first to say a certain type thrives there. (And if argue their definition of thrive is weighted more to academic outcome than to whole child growth)
Some kids self select into this by being intense themselves. Families self select into it by placing a perception of seriousness equals better academics or by merely chasing prestige. Teachers self select by wanting also wanting prestige and then some by competing to have hardest class label. Not every student, family, teacher fits into the above description of the self selection category but placing enough of these types all into the equation has an outcome. It’s not one of happiness. But it doesn’t mean every is miserable either.
Sidwell is not a prison. Everyone who is there is choosing to be there…unless and until they leave. If you choose to stay, and you’re unhappy with the school culture, that’s on you.
Anonymous wrote:Man 7 pages trying to convince everyone it’s a happy place. Yipes
I’d like to point out that saying ‘I wouldn’t describe Sidwell as a happy place ‘ is not the same as saying ‘ Sidwell is a miserable place. ‘
It’s an intense culture from student and from teachers - and it does not equate to a happy, joyous culture. If you are looking for genuine fun mixed into high level academics it’s not the place. Other do this balance better. In my opinion the intensity is higher than needed but it’s not going to change - it is what it is and the school will be the first to say a certain type thrives there. (And if argue their definition of thrive is weighted more to academic outcome than to whole child growth)
Some kids self select into this by being intense themselves. Families self select into it by placing a perception of seriousness equals better academics or by merely chasing prestige. Teachers self select by wanting also wanting prestige and then some by competing to have hardest class label. Not every student, family, teacher fits into the above description of the self selection category but placing enough of these types all into the equation has an outcome. It’s not one of happiness. But it doesn’t mean every is miserable either.
There are plenty of people in the community - students, faculty, parents, who find plenty of joy there.
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