Basic Hygiene and Grooming for Social Presentation 101

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. Shower daily if not twice a day if you work out. Instead of dictating how often people should shower, just say that people should shower before interacting with others. Some people shower less if they are just home alone and I see no problem with that. People should be clean when they leave the house.
2. Post shower moisturizing: Moisturize your whole body; even better if you can supplement with body oil. Focus on your neck and feet as they are often neglected! Look, I am really big on moisturizing because I'm prone to dry skin and especially this time of year I'm religious about it. But this is none of your business. If you are noticing dry skin on someone's neck, you are standing too close to them. Back up and stop being so nosy.
3. Dental Hygiene: Brush and floss your teeth at least twice a day! Pro Tip: use a waterpick! If your teeth are discolored, teeth whitening definitely helps freshen up your smile. Flossing once a day is fine. Waterpicks can be helpful but do what works for you. But OP if you don't like discolored teeth, keep it to yourself. First of all, most people don't know what the natural color of teeth is anymore because whitening is so common -- a lot of people's normal teeth will read as "discolored" because we are conditioned by Hollywood super white veneers to think off-white looks "dirty." Teeth whitening is not a hygiene issue. It's an aesthetic preference. None of your business.
4. Trim stray hairs. Have neat and clean eyebrows, no stray hairs peeking from under your nose! This is also largely an aesthetic preference. Older people in particular often have more hair in the noses and ears. Judging them for that is a poor reflection on you. This can be a preference you have for romantic partners but just expecting all people you interact with to really be getting in there with the trimmers is too much. Some people will have stray hairs, bushy eyebrows, etc. Deal with it.
5. Skin care. Invest in quality skincare so your skin is clear and healthy with no obvious blemishes. This is mostly just classist. "Invest in quality skincare"? Honestly, **** off. I used to have bad acne and it was a hormonal issue and there was nothing I could do. I now have perfect skin AND can afford to spend extra money on stuff to make my skin look really nice but I NEVER judge people with bad skin. No one wants to have bad skin and often people have no control over it. It took me years to address my acne. I had good hygiene the whole time. I'm sorry you don't how it looks, I don't like your attitude. So I guess we're even.
6. Hair. Stay current on your haircuts! You don't need to have a lavish hairdo but keep hair neat and styled so it looks presentable and not like you just got out of bed. This is another style choice. If someone's hair is clean, it's none of your business how it is styled. You can argue that women with long hair need to trim it or keep it contained so it doesn't get in people's food -- that' a hygiene issue. But otherwise, not your business. Don't like someone's messy bun? Tough. Maybe she thinks your perfectly coifed bob is too severe and high maintenance. It's a style disagreement, not hygiene.
7. Clean clothing. Wear clean and pressed clothing that fit you well! Clean clothes, yes. "Pressed" -- only if they need it. A lot of people wear clothes that don't. Athleisure is so common now. If I saw someone in a wrinkled outfit at a more formal event, I would assume they were having a hard time. But it's not a hygiene issue. Cut people some slack. You sound like you would freak out if somone showed up in khakis without a firm crease down the front. Unclench.
8. Nails. Nothing is worse than gross nails! Keep them trimmed and short. Either wear no polish or keep current with your manicures so there is no chipping. Again, half of this is hygiene (short and clean nails) and half is not -- stop staring at people nail polish so close that you can see chips or whatever. Some people care about that and some don't You need to just let this go.

The title of this thread is Basic Hygiene and Grooming.

I think OP's standards are too high for "basic grooming." Like clean teeth and address breath issues -- yes. Whitening teeth? Eh, I think it looks better but I don't consider someone "ungroomed" if they don't whiten their teeth. I also think OP sounds uptight about some of this stuff. Like the way she describes her standards for hair make it sound like she expects people hair to be neat as a pin. But a messy bun is actually pretty on trend these days. So is a kind of wavy bedhead look. I see people who are well groomed with these hairstyles all the time -- it's clearly how they want their hair to look.

Demanding people "press" their clothes in 2025 makes you sound insane. Same with the phrase "invest in quality skincare." I actually love "investing" in skin care but that should not be a basic grooming standard. Basic grooming standards mean your face is clean with maybe minimal makeup (if female) and any major issues (dryness, blemishes) addressed if not resolved. I don't think basic grooming requires someone to be investing in a detailed skincare regimen.

OP sounds super controlling. There are standards you have for yourself, standards you have for a significant other or child, standards you have for friends, and then there's what you can expect just random people you encounter each day to do. The standards for the last group are much lower but OP doesn't seem to get this. You cannot control people that much. You are not going to get "trimmed and plucked eyebrows" to become a universal grooming standard. You just aren't. Let it go.

I agree with OP that clothes should be ironed. I rarely wear athleisure, but when I do, it’s ironed. I don’t understand the obsession with wearing wrinkled clothes.

Is this sarcasm? Please say it is.

No, it’s not sarcasm. I don’t wear wrinkled clothing, not even when working from home. Ironing one’s clothes is not difficult to do.

I work from home too, and am wearing the same nightgown I've been wearing since last Thursday. I don't own an iron. Ironing your clothes is difficult to do if you can't afford an iron and don't have flat surfaces to iron on, and have never learned to iron.

Ironing clothes is not rocket science. Clothes are ironed on an ironing board; that is the flat surface. You can buy a full size ironing board or a tabletop ironing board which is perfect for a dorm or small apartment.

Here is a video that shows how to iron a dress shirt. Practice makes perfect. 🤩


https://youtu.be/z91MtZpcsKY?si=QqkjJzSluq6ognhr

Dear Weirdo,

No one I know irons anything anymore unless it is a formal occasion.

All the best,
Rumpled Executive

So everyone you know looks slovenly and disheveled. Got it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are people here so so angry when someone speaks about grooming and hygiene? Why the long angry screens and cursing and name calling? They call OP judgmental but they are the judgmental ones.

My theory is that this generation, without the books and magazines we had, conceives that norms and expertise and best practiced are concepts that do not exist. The concepts of wearing what is flattering, following expertise to have nice looking skin and hair and coordinated attire do not exist. One is either naturally good looking effortlessly and too bad for everyone else. That is sad to me, for 99% of us it takes work to look good and that has always been the norm, that is why style exists. But the theory of style is gone. Either you wake up looking great or cry on tiktok asking why am I so ugly.

People are angry because the observations made in the original post apply to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are people here so so angry when someone speaks about grooming and hygiene? Why the long angry screens and cursing and name calling? They call OP judgmental but they are the judgmental ones.

My theory is that this generation, without the books and magazines we had, conceives that norms and expertise and best practiced are concepts that do not exist. The concepts of wearing what is flattering, following expertise to have nice looking skin and hair and coordinated attire do not exist. One is either naturally good looking effortlessly and too bad for everyone else. That is sad to me, for 99% of us it takes work to look good and that has always been the norm, that is why style exists. But the theory of style is gone. Either you wake up looking great or cry on tiktok asking why am I so ugly.

Wha? No, they don’t have magazines, but they have social media, where they can mainline targeted style and beauty advice 24/7 if they want to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. Shower daily if not twice a day if you work out. Instead of dictating how often people should shower, just say that people should shower before interacting with others. Some people shower less if they are just home alone and I see no problem with that. People should be clean when they leave the house.
2. Post shower moisturizing: Moisturize your whole body; even better if you can supplement with body oil. Focus on your neck and feet as they are often neglected! Look, I am really big on moisturizing because I'm prone to dry skin and especially this time of year I'm religious about it. But this is none of your business. If you are noticing dry skin on someone's neck, you are standing too close to them. Back up and stop being so nosy.
3. Dental Hygiene: Brush and floss your teeth at least twice a day! Pro Tip: use a waterpick! If your teeth are discolored, teeth whitening definitely helps freshen up your smile. Flossing once a day is fine. Waterpicks can be helpful but do what works for you. But OP if you don't like discolored teeth, keep it to yourself. First of all, most people don't know what the natural color of teeth is anymore because whitening is so common -- a lot of people's normal teeth will read as "discolored" because we are conditioned by Hollywood super white veneers to think off-white looks "dirty." Teeth whitening is not a hygiene issue. It's an aesthetic preference. None of your business.
4. Trim stray hairs. Have neat and clean eyebrows, no stray hairs peeking from under your nose! This is also largely an aesthetic preference. Older people in particular often have more hair in the noses and ears. Judging them for that is a poor reflection on you. This can be a preference you have for romantic partners but just expecting all people you interact with to really be getting in there with the trimmers is too much. Some people will have stray hairs, bushy eyebrows, etc. Deal with it.
5. Skin care. Invest in quality skincare so your skin is clear and healthy with no obvious blemishes. This is mostly just classist. "Invest in quality skincare"? Honestly, **** off. I used to have bad acne and it was a hormonal issue and there was nothing I could do. I now have perfect skin AND can afford to spend extra money on stuff to make my skin look really nice but I NEVER judge people with bad skin. No one wants to have bad skin and often people have no control over it. It took me years to address my acne. I had good hygiene the whole time. I'm sorry you don't how it looks, I don't like your attitude. So I guess we're even.
6. Hair. Stay current on your haircuts! You don't need to have a lavish hairdo but keep hair neat and styled so it looks presentable and not like you just got out of bed. This is another style choice. If someone's hair is clean, it's none of your business how it is styled. You can argue that women with long hair need to trim it or keep it contained so it doesn't get in people's food -- that' a hygiene issue. But otherwise, not your business. Don't like someone's messy bun? Tough. Maybe she thinks your perfectly coifed bob is too severe and high maintenance. It's a style disagreement, not hygiene.
7. Clean clothing. Wear clean and pressed clothing that fit you well! Clean clothes, yes. "Pressed" -- only if they need it. A lot of people wear clothes that don't. Athleisure is so common now. If I saw someone in a wrinkled outfit at a more formal event, I would assume they were having a hard time. But it's not a hygiene issue. Cut people some slack. You sound like you would freak out if somone showed up in khakis without a firm crease down the front. Unclench.
8. Nails. Nothing is worse than gross nails! Keep them trimmed and short. Either wear no polish or keep current with your manicures so there is no chipping. Again, half of this is hygiene (short and clean nails) and half is not -- stop staring at people nail polish so close that you can see chips or whatever. Some people care about that and some don't You need to just let this go.

The title of this thread is Basic Hygiene and Grooming.

I think OP's standards are too high for "basic grooming." Like clean teeth and address breath issues -- yes. Whitening teeth? Eh, I think it looks better but I don't consider someone "ungroomed" if they don't whiten their teeth. I also think OP sounds uptight about some of this stuff. Like the way she describes her standards for hair make it sound like she expects people hair to be neat as a pin. But a messy bun is actually pretty on trend these days. So is a kind of wavy bedhead look. I see people who are well groomed with these hairstyles all the time -- it's clearly how they want their hair to look.

Demanding people "press" their clothes in 2025 makes you sound insane. Same with the phrase "invest in quality skincare." I actually love "investing" in skin care but that should not be a basic grooming standard. Basic grooming standards mean your face is clean with maybe minimal makeup (if female) and any major issues (dryness, blemishes) addressed if not resolved. I don't think basic grooming requires someone to be investing in a detailed skincare regimen.

OP sounds super controlling. There are standards you have for yourself, standards you have for a significant other or child, standards you have for friends, and then there's what you can expect just random people you encounter each day to do. The standards for the last group are much lower but OP doesn't seem to get this. You cannot control people that much. You are not going to get "trimmed and plucked eyebrows" to become a universal grooming standard. You just aren't. Let it go.

I agree with OP that clothes should be ironed. I rarely wear athleisure, but when I do, it’s ironed. I don’t understand the obsession with wearing wrinkled clothes.

Is this sarcasm? Please say it is.

No, it’s not sarcasm. I don’t wear wrinkled clothing, not even when working from home. Ironing one’s clothes is not difficult to do.

I work from home too, and am wearing the same nightgown I've been wearing since last Thursday. I don't own an iron. Ironing your clothes is difficult to do if you can't afford an iron and don't have flat surfaces to iron on, and have never learned to iron.

Wtf?!

What? I see nobody, so I don't change my clothes much. I shower when I can smell myself, or if I'm going to be around people. It saves me money since it costs $5 per load of laundry.

Again WTF? Were you raised by wolves? Shower daily, change your clothes and underwear daily. Get your life together.

Huh? I don’t wear underwear daily. Not unless I’m going outside. My life is fine, even if it’s not yours. Showering once or twice a week works fine for me. When I shower then I put on a clean nightgown.

So nasty!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are people here so so angry when someone speaks about grooming and hygiene? Why the long angry screens and cursing and name calling? They call OP judgmental but they are the judgmental ones.

My theory is that this generation, without the books and magazines we had, conceives that norms and expertise and best practiced are concepts that do not exist. The concepts of wearing what is flattering, following expertise to have nice looking skin and hair and coordinated attire do not exist. One is either naturally good looking effortlessly and too bad for everyone else. That is sad to me, for 99% of us it takes work to look good and that has always been the norm, that is why style exists. But the theory of style is gone. Either you wake up looking great or cry on tiktok asking why am I so ugly.

Wha? No, they don’t have magazines, but they have social media, where they can mainline targeted style and beauty advice 24/7 if they want to.

Yes, targeted is the right word, but is the advice good or time tested or coming from a place of expertise? No. We can tell by what we see out in the public. People who have no other options in life, who have no expertise or skills, become social media influencers. It seems to me to be the single job where there no barrier to entry. Even ditch digging has barriers to entry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are people here so so angry when someone speaks about grooming and hygiene? Why the long angry screens and cursing and name calling? They call OP judgmental but they are the judgmental ones.

My theory is that this generation, without the books and magazines we had, conceives that norms and expertise and best practiced are concepts that do not exist. The concepts of wearing what is flattering, following expertise to have nice looking skin and hair and coordinated attire do not exist. One is either naturally good looking effortlessly and too bad for everyone else. That is sad to me, for 99% of us it takes work to look good and that has always been the norm, that is why style exists. But the theory of style is gone. Either you wake up looking great or cry on tiktok asking why am I so ugly.

Wha? No, they don’t have magazines, but they have social media, where they can mainline targeted style and beauty advice 24/7 if they want to.

Yes, targeted is the right word, but is the advice good or time tested or coming from a place of expertise? No. We can tell by what we see out in the public. People who have no other options in life, who have no expertise or skills, become social media influencers. It seems to me to be the single job where there no barrier to entry. Even ditch digging has barriers to entry.

You think people who wrote for beauty magazines had expertise? It’s all about selling products. That’s all it’s ever been about. You’re just old and reacting to things you don’t understand anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are people here so so angry when someone speaks about grooming and hygiene? Why the long angry screens and cursing and name calling? They call OP judgmental but they are the judgmental ones.

My theory is that this generation, without the books and magazines we had, conceives that norms and expertise and best practiced are concepts that do not exist. The concepts of wearing what is flattering, following expertise to have nice looking skin and hair and coordinated attire do not exist. One is either naturally good looking effortlessly and too bad for everyone else. That is sad to me, for 99% of us it takes work to look good and that has always been the norm, that is why style exists. But the theory of style is gone. Either you wake up looking great or cry on tiktok asking why am I so ugly.

This is just a fact. A well-groomed ugly person is still ugly, and that’s ok.

[Anonymous]

For me it comes down to just don’t be smelly. I can look past a lot of stuff in other people, even if I personally wouldn’t leave the house with oily hair or without a bra or whatever. But I can’t be around people who constantly smell like sweaty BO, musty unwashed hair, that stinky/sour smell of clothes that have been worn too many times without being washed, bad breath … it’s all awful to me.

I do think that if you’re gunning for more responsibilities and more pay at work, that showing up looking a little more polished is only a good thing. People do judge based on appearances and they assume more “professional” looking people are more competent. Again, it doesn’t bother me personally but I do see some of my less “professional”-looking colleagues not being treated as well by others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are people here so so angry when someone speaks about grooming and hygiene? Why the long angry screens and cursing and name calling? They call OP judgmental but they are the judgmental ones.

My theory is that this generation, without the books and magazines we had, conceives that norms and expertise and best practiced are concepts that do not exist. The concepts of wearing what is flattering, following expertise to have nice looking skin and hair and coordinated attire do not exist. One is either naturally good looking effortlessly and too bad for everyone else. That is sad to me, for 99% of us it takes work to look good and that has always been the norm, that is why style exists. But the theory of style is gone. Either you wake up looking great or cry on tiktok asking why am I so ugly.

I'm probably older than you and worked in some important, very stressful jobs. It's insulting to insist that women focus on this 1950s triviality. No one cares whether someone's skin is moisturized at work. I couldn't care less about someone's manicure.

Op doesn't understand personal boundaries and is obsessed with the meaningless. So many adults are busy working themselves to death trying to manage their families, commutes etc and these posts are belittling. People would do better to ignore these posts which are meant only to shame and focus on more meaningful activities for self care in what little spare time they have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are people here so so angry when someone speaks about grooming and hygiene? Why the long angry screens and cursing and name calling? They call OP judgmental but they are the judgmental ones.

My theory is that this generation, without the books and magazines we had, conceives that norms and expertise and best practiced are concepts that do not exist. The concepts of wearing what is flattering, following expertise to have nice looking skin and hair and coordinated attire do not exist. One is either naturally good looking effortlessly and too bad for everyone else. That is sad to me, for 99% of us it takes work to look good and that has always been the norm, that is why style exists. But the theory of style is gone. Either you wake up looking great or cry on tiktok asking why am I so ugly.

This is just a fact. A well-groomed ugly person is still ugly, and that’s ok.

That is this generation thinks, let us focus on what we consider immutable and judge and divide and talk about the divide ad nauseum, to puff oneself up. But no, actually, race is a social construct, your culture is not better than others, your people group is not smarter than others, and no, no one is stuck being ugly or beautiful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are people here so so angry when someone speaks about grooming and hygiene? Why the long angry screens and cursing and name calling? They call OP judgmental but they are the judgmental ones.

My theory is that this generation, without the books and magazines we had, conceives that norms and expertise and best practiced are concepts that do not exist. The concepts of wearing what is flattering, following expertise to have nice looking skin and hair and coordinated attire do not exist. One is either naturally good looking effortlessly and too bad for everyone else. That is sad to me, for 99% of us it takes work to look good and that has always been the norm, that is why style exists. But the theory of style is gone. Either you wake up looking great or cry on tiktok asking why am I so ugly.

This is just a fact. A well-groomed ugly person is still ugly, and that’s ok.

Those of us making fun of these posts don't do it because we are ignorant. Op is ignorant. There is no such thing as the "theory of style". No one should be belittling anyone else based on these trivial things. If this is aimed specifically at women, you are a sexist pig and need to die with the dinosaurs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of these have nothing to do with hygiene, for example getting regular haircuts. I dont like cutting my hair every 6 weeks, and I was blessed with straight hair that doesn't take a ton of styling. I wash it every other day or so and it's sparkling clean, and I make sure to cut it every few months so there arent a ton of split ends, but, again, not really a hygiene issue even if I went longer without a haircut. You seem like an overly retentive, controlling person.

The topic is Hygiene and Grooming. Hair maintenance definitely is part of grooming.

You’re such a colossal ass-ache, my darling.

But my clothes are wrinkle free, dear.

This is your flex?

Her grooming is what stands in for and she thinks, wrongly, suffices, for her failure to be aesthetically pleasing or having a good personality, so.

Unlike many of you, I am simultaneously beautiful, well-groomed, well-dressed and congenial.

Good one Op.

The next time I evaluate my direct reports, I'll add a new category related to pore size. My cyber security team better be on top of the best facial products.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are people here so so angry when someone speaks about grooming and hygiene? Why the long angry screens and cursing and name calling? They call OP judgmental but they are the judgmental ones.

My theory is that this generation, without the books and magazines we had, conceives that norms and expertise and best practiced are concepts that do not exist. The concepts of wearing what is flattering, following expertise to have nice looking skin and hair and coordinated attire do not exist. One is either naturally good looking effortlessly and too bad for everyone else. That is sad to me, for 99% of us it takes work to look good and that has always been the norm, that is why style exists. But the theory of style is gone. Either you wake up looking great or cry on tiktok asking why am I so ugly.

This is just a fact. A well-groomed ugly person is still ugly, and that’s ok.

Those of us making fun of these posts don't do it because we are ignorant. Op is ignorant. There is no such thing as the "theory of style". No one should be belittling anyone else based on these trivial things. If this is aimed specifically at women, you are a sexist pig and need to die with the dinosaurs.

Person = all genders.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of these have nothing to do with hygiene, for example getting regular haircuts. I dont like cutting my hair every 6 weeks, and I was blessed with straight hair that doesn't take a ton of styling. I wash it every other day or so and it's sparkling clean, and I make sure to cut it every few months so there arent a ton of split ends, but, again, not really a hygiene issue even if I went longer without a haircut. You seem like an overly retentive, controlling person.

The topic is Hygiene and Grooming. Hair maintenance definitely is part of grooming.

You’re such a colossal ass-ache, my darling.

But my clothes are wrinkle free, dear.

This is your flex?

Her grooming is what stands in for and she thinks, wrongly, suffices, for her failure to be aesthetically pleasing or having a good personality, so.

Unlike many of you, I am simultaneously beautiful, well-groomed, well-dressed and congenial.

Good one Op.

The next time I evaluate my direct reports, I'll add a new category related to pore size. My cyber security team better be on top of the best facial products.

I would focus on making sure their clothing is neat and wrinkle free instead of pore size. Tech employees are notorious for having a disheveled appearance and poor social skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are people here so so angry when someone speaks about grooming and hygiene? Why the long angry screens and cursing and name calling? They call OP judgmental but they are the judgmental ones.

My theory is that this generation, without the books and magazines we had, conceives that norms and expertise and best practiced are concepts that do not exist. The concepts of wearing what is flattering, following expertise to have nice looking skin and hair and coordinated attire do not exist. One is either naturally good looking effortlessly and too bad for everyone else. That is sad to me, for 99% of us it takes work to look good and that has always been the norm, that is why style exists. But the theory of style is gone. Either you wake up looking great or cry on tiktok asking why am I so ugly.

This is just a fact. A well-groomed ugly person is still ugly, and that’s ok.

Those of us making fun of these posts don't do it because we are ignorant. Op is ignorant. There is no such thing as the "theory of style". No one should be belittling anyone else based on these trivial things. If this is aimed specifically at women, you are a sexist pig and need to die with the dinosaurs.

Of course style exists. So the history of civilization has been wrong until the past 5 years or so, in which anything goes?