I’ve never been so disappointed in my dsughter

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I was expecting a bit of vitriol but this is just beyond the pale. I’m not a “troll” and I will not “Go back to the Troll Bridge”. Let’s all be adults here.

OP - please provide your definition of "vitriol."

[Anonymous]

I hope your daughter never speaks to you again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I was expecting a bit of vitriol but this is just beyond the pale. I’m not a “troll” and I will not “Go back to the Troll Bridge”. Let’s all be adults here.

Adults...like...your 25 year old daughter who can make her own decisions about her own body?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter (25) went and did the one thing I always advised her never to do: get a tattoo. It’s of a hippopotamus and is really ugly. I just can’t understand why someone would get a tattoo of a hippo! I’ll admit it’s well-done but this is just disappointing. I’ve always said, ever since she was a little girl, that tattoos are a bad idea. She said that “she wanted to do it for a long time” and “it has nothing to do with me” but I somehow doubt that. I just am SO disappointed. Ugh. What’s a mom to do?

My parents' one and only rule, NO tattoos. This was a non negotiable. One of my sisters got a "tramp" stamp while in college and she admittedly was absolutely stoned out of her mind when she got it. One day she was helping rinse off my parent's patio before a family barbecue bent over and Dad saw it, ugh he was beyond angry. Having lost family in the Holocaust who obviously had tattooed numbers on them was a sacred thing to him and my mother. They did nothing then, but she was cut out of the will when my dad died.

He sounds awful. Bet he was controlling in other ways too. What a jerk.

How is that controlling? He had some rules and she violated them. He didn't stop her from mutilating her body. But there were consequences.

I can't believe this has to be said, but when you try to impose "rules" on other adults, you are controlling. Particularly when you use money, or the threat of withholding it, to enforce your wishes.

[Anonymous]

If getting a tattoo is the most disappointing thing your daughter has done, I'd say you're a pretty lucky mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bummer about the tattoo. We raised our kids to see what kind of people get tattoos in their youth, and our kids never wanted to be seen as being one of those. Worked like a charm.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter (25) went and did the one thing I always advised her never to do: get a tattoo. It’s of a hippopotamus and is really ugly. I just can’t understand why someone would get a tattoo of a hippo! I’ll admit it’s well-done but this is just disappointing. I’ve always said, ever since she was a little girl, that tattoos are a bad idea. She said that “she wanted to do it for a long time” and “it has nothing to do with me” but I somehow doubt that. I just am SO disappointed. Ugh. What’s a mom to do?

My parents' one and only rule, NO tattoos. This was a non negotiable. One of my sisters got a "tramp" stamp while in college and she admittedly was absolutely stoned out of her mind when she got it. One day she was helping rinse off my parent's patio before a family barbecue bent over and Dad saw it, ugh he was beyond angry. Having lost family in the Holocaust who obviously had tattooed numbers on them was a sacred thing to him and my mother. They did nothing then, but she was cut out of the will when my dad died.

He sounds awful. Bet he was controlling in other ways too. What a jerk.

How is that controlling? He had some rules and she violated them. He didn't stop her from mutilating her body. But there were consequences.

I can't believe this has to be said, but when you try to impose "rules" on other adults, you are controlling. Particularly when you use money, or the threat of withholding it, to enforce your wishes.

Exactly. I would never do that to my child over a tattoo!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bummer about the tattoo. We raised our kids to see what kind of people get tattoos in their youth, and our kids never wanted to be seen as being one of those. Worked like a charm.

+1

You both are so very special

And I don't have a single tattoo and neither does my kid but I certainly would advise him to get one if it meant never having to hang out with the likes of you two.

[Anonymous]

Oh dear. If this counts as anything more than the fleeting disappointment one feels when your child likes a style you don't, you've got serious issues, lady. How about having real hopes and dreams for the content of your child's character? For her accomplishments?

If she's doing fine on those levels, I urge you to seek therapy and get some perspective.

[Anonymous]

You're being ridiculous, OP. It's her body. She's an adult. You can disapprove (once) but then zip it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bummer about the tattoo. We raised our kids to see what kind of people get tattoos in their youth, and our kids never wanted to be seen as being one of those. Worked like a charm.

My husband has both of his arms done in full sleeves and somehow he’s managed to be an awesome husband and father, a leader in the community and his profession, and make $10M a year. Hope your kids can grow up to be losers so they aren’t seen as being anything like him.

[Anonymous]

OP here. This will be my final post on this thread for a while, maybe forever. I seriously did not expect this level of rudeness in the replies (yes, I am fairly new to DCUM). Everyone: I KNOW that my daughter is wonderful and amazing. I KNOW that a tattoo isn’t worth ruining our relationship over. I was just expressing my disappointment, that’s all, and everyone turned it into something it wasn’t. And for people making fun of the “vitriol” comment: yes, I have faced vitriol in this thread. I’ve been called a horrible mother, a troll, and a “miserable shrew”. My daughter has been body-shamed and faced sexism and homophobia. What would you call that? Vitriol! Jesus. Empathy is free!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bummer about the tattoo. We raised our kids to see what kind of people get tattoos in their youth, and our kids never wanted to be seen as being one of those. Worked like a charm.

My husband has both of his arms done in full sleeves and somehow he’s managed to be an awesome husband and father, a leader in the community and his profession, and make $10M a year. Hope your kids can grow up to be losers so they aren’t seen as being anything like him.

Uh huh, sure. Are you married to Travis Barker or Corey Hart?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bummer about the tattoo. We raised our kids to see what kind of people get tattoos in their youth, and our kids never wanted to be seen as being one of those. Worked like a charm.

+1

The majority of the men and women serving this country for you have some kind of ink on them. You sound like a big snooty snob.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This will be my final post on this thread for a while, maybe forever. I seriously did not expect this level of rudeness in the replies (yes, I am fairly new to DCUM). Everyone: I KNOW that my daughter is wonderful and amazing. I KNOW that a tattoo isn’t worth ruining our relationship over. I was just expressing my disappointment, that’s all, and everyone turned it into something it wasn’t. And for people making fun of the “vitriol” comment: yes, I have faced vitriol in this thread. I’ve been called a horrible mother, a troll, and a “miserable shrew”. My daughter has been body-shamed and faced sexism and homophobia. What would you call that? Vitriol! Jesus. Empathy is free!

To be fair you did ask “what’s a mother to do?” And you were told (rightfully) that you just have to accept it and it’s not a big deal as you have made it out to be. On another note, DCUM may not be for you.