It's official: Gen Z are not delaying marriage til 30s anymore, young weddings are cool again

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two of my mid-20s employees got married last year. I thought it was weird. I am 47. Most people I know got married in their 30s.

I have noticed this "trend" already.

I'm 49, all of my friends married in their 20s.

I’m 52 and the vast majority of people I know who married in their 20s were the HS people who never left the area. Out of my college/grad school peers, only a handful got married in their 20s. And out of them, I think there’s only one couple that is still together.

Is leaving the area a bragging feature?

Yes, of course. Imagine living your entire life in one small area of the world. Yuck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got married at 23 and had my first at 26, in law school. People acted like I was a teen mom. It was ridiculous. I’ve been married for 17 years and I’m really happy with my choices. I have health problems now that could have kept me from having kids in my 30s. So I’m really glad I got that done in my 20s and I would recommend for my children to do the same.

At the same time, I was fairly mature at 23 and knew what I wanted. I knew DH was a good partner.

I wish I could have had children younger. I don't see what the big deal is. Think of how young you'll be when the nest empties!

I’ll be 46 and an empty nester MUAHAHAHA.

My 20s were hard but I’m happy DH was with me. He is the one who put me through law school. We had marriage, law school, babies overlapping and it was super hard but by my mid 30s life was so pleasant. Now nearing 40 my kids are older and I am really enjoying my life. I didn’t travel or date a lot but DH and I have had some fun trips while my parents stay with the kids.

That made me want to throw up in my mouth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two of my mid-20s employees got married last year. I thought it was weird. I am 47. Most people I know got married in their 30s.

I have noticed this "trend" already.

I'm 49, all of my friends married in their 20s.

I’m 44, and my friends and I were all married or at least engaged by 25. Waited until 30 to start having kids. Still married today. We all grew up in blue states, too.

The only people I know who married at that age were knocked up.

[Anonymous]

What a dumb post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got married at 23 and had my first at 26, in law school. People acted like I was a teen mom. It was ridiculous. I’ve been married for 17 years and I’m really happy with my choices. I have health problems now that could have kept me from having kids in my 30s. So I’m really glad I got that done in my 20s and I would recommend for my children to do the same.

At the same time, I was fairly mature at 23 and knew what I wanted. I knew DH was a good partner.

I wish I could have had children younger. I don't see what the big deal is. Think of how young you'll be when the nest empties!

I’ll be 46 and an empty nester MUAHAHAHA.

My 20s were hard but I’m happy DH was with me. He is the one who put me through law school. We had marriage, law school, babies overlapping and it was super hard but by my mid 30s life was so pleasant. Now nearing 40 my kids are older and I am really enjoying my life. I didn’t travel or date a lot but DH and I have had some fun trips while my parents stay with the kids.

That made me want to throw up in my mouth.

Why? I think it sounds glorious!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for everyone commenting, the conclusion that marrying in your 20s is superior but it's hard to find a good partner.

It’s widely covered in media that dating as adults is MUCH harder than it used to be, and that dating apps are almost corrosive in the effort to get married.

If you want a serious partner, Princeton mom was right: college is the time to find that life mate. There will be no other time when you can date with less risk (like dating your coworker or neighbor), and high quality curated partners. Maybe grad school is a bit better but GenZ got the memo — settle down in college or look for a decade or more in the dating desert.

Lol- Princeton mom was right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got married at 23 and had my first at 26, in law school. People acted like I was a teen mom. It was ridiculous. I’ve been married for 17 years and I’m really happy with my choices. I have health problems now that could have kept me from having kids in my 30s. So I’m really glad I got that done in my 20s and I would recommend for my children to do the same.

At the same time, I was fairly mature at 23 and knew what I wanted. I knew DH was a good partner.

I wish I could have had children younger. I don't see what the big deal is. Think of how young you'll be when the nest empties!

I’ll be 46 and an empty nester MUAHAHAHA.

My 20s were hard but I’m happy DH was with me. He is the one who put me through law school. We had marriage, law school, babies overlapping and it was super hard but by my mid 30s life was so pleasant. Now nearing 40 my kids are older and I am really enjoying my life. I didn’t travel or date a lot but DH and I have had some fun trips while my parents stay with the kids.

It always stands out to me that young parents seem thrilled to be empty nesters and “enjoying my life.” There is this mindset that you’re happy the phase of having kids is over with.

Did you not enjoy having kids?
Perhaps you had to give up so much in your 20s and you feel like your time is finally your own? I can imagine you had virtually no time to yourself and had to struggle through lawschool if you had young babies at the same time.

I can’t imagine viewing having a family the way you do. I loved my time in my 20s and it’s now great to have a young family in my 40s.

[Anonymous]

I’m an elder millennial who married at 23. DH is 4 years older and is in finance so he had a well paid, stable job at the time. We bought a house right away and had 3 kids by the time I was 31. We both have grad degrees and are still happily married 20 years later.

I love being a 42 yo with a 16 yo rather than a 6 yo, if you know what I mean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Z-List celebrity weddings aside… college is a great time to meet your future spouse. These kids are looking at millennials trying to date off the apps and (rightfully) deciding that looks pretty bleak. They don’t have to have kids right away and can still travel, pursue advanced degrees, and/or build careers while married.

+1 It is bleak. A lot of people do meet in grad school though.

+1 Met my husband the first day of law school. I was dating for marriage by senior year of college (and I’m not a fundie, brunch granny, flyover, trumper, etc.).

What are you talking about? Flyover, trumper, etc?
Very bizarre things to say.

Because DCUM loves to pretend that anybody who marries by mid twenties must be any or all of the above.

Those are the more typical people to actively be on the hunt for a husband in college and married in their 20s.

Not anymore. Young people have figured out that finding a partner only gets harder, not easier, once you are past college and grad school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got married at 23 and had my first at 26, in law school. People acted like I was a teen mom. It was ridiculous. I’ve been married for 17 years and I’m really happy with my choices. I have health problems now that could have kept me from having kids in my 30s. So I’m really glad I got that done in my 20s and I would recommend for my children to do the same.

At the same time, I was fairly mature at 23 and knew what I wanted. I knew DH was a good partner.

I wish I could have had children younger. I don't see what the big deal is. Think of how young you'll be when the nest empties!

I’ll be 46 and an empty nester MUAHAHAHA.

My 20s were hard but I’m happy DH was with me. He is the one who put me through law school. We had marriage, law school, babies overlapping and it was super hard but by my mid 30s life was so pleasant. Now nearing 40 my kids are older and I am really enjoying my life. I didn’t travel or date a lot but DH and I have had some fun trips while my parents stay with the kids.

It always stands out to me that young parents seem thrilled to be empty nesters and “enjoying my life.” There is this mindset that you’re happy the phase of having kids is over with.

Did you not enjoy having kids?
Perhaps you had to give up so much in your 20s and you feel like your time is finally your own? I can imagine you had virtually no time to yourself and had to struggle through lawschool if you had young babies at the same time.

I can’t imagine viewing having a family the way you do. I loved my time in my 20s and it’s now great to have a young family in my 40s.

I'm not that poster, but I wish I had my kids younger so I could know them longer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Z-List celebrity weddings aside… college is a great time to meet your future spouse. These kids are looking at millennials trying to date off the apps and (rightfully) deciding that looks pretty bleak. They don’t have to have kids right away and can still travel, pursue advanced degrees, and/or build careers while married.

+1 It is bleak. A lot of people do meet in grad school though.

+1 Met my husband the first day of law school. I was dating for marriage by senior year of college (and I’m not a fundie, brunch granny, flyover, trumper, etc.).

What are you talking about? Flyover, trumper, etc?
Very bizarre things to say.

Because DCUM loves to pretend that anybody who marries by mid twenties must be any or all of the above.

Those are the more typical people to actively be on the hunt for a husband in college and married in their 20s.

Yep, they've learned from Millennials what not to do.

Not anymore. Young people have figured out that finding a partner only gets harder, not easier, once you are past college and grad school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got married at 23 and had my first at 26, in law school. People acted like I was a teen mom. It was ridiculous. I’ve been married for 17 years and I’m really happy with my choices. I have health problems now that could have kept me from having kids in my 30s. So I’m really glad I got that done in my 20s and I would recommend for my children to do the same.

At the same time, I was fairly mature at 23 and knew what I wanted. I knew DH was a good partner.

I wish I could have had children younger. I don't see what the big deal is. Think of how young you'll be when the nest empties!

I’ll be 46 and an empty nester MUAHAHAHA.

My 20s were hard but I’m happy DH was with me. He is the one who put me through law school. We had marriage, law school, babies overlapping and it was super hard but by my mid 30s life was so pleasant. Now nearing 40 my kids are older and I am really enjoying my life. I didn’t travel or date a lot but DH and I have had some fun trips while my parents stay with the kids.

It always stands out to me that young parents seem thrilled to be empty nesters and “enjoying my life.” There is this mindset that you’re happy the phase of having kids is over with.

Did you not enjoy having kids?
Perhaps you had to give up so much in your 20s and you feel like your time is finally your own? I can imagine you had virtually no time to yourself and had to struggle through lawschool if you had young babies at the same time.

I can’t imagine viewing having a family the way you do. I loved my time in my 20s and it’s now great to have a young family in my 40s.

Because we are tired, lol. And want time to be selfish and devote to self care. I’m 42 with a 16, 14, and 12 yo. My BIL and SIL are my age and are actively trying to pregnant (and unfortunately have had several miscarriages this year). I do hope they succeed for their sakes but every time it comes up, DH and I look at each other like lol. I canNOT imagine wanting a baby or toddler or even a very young child again at this age.

I love that I sleep through the night without question. I love that I haven’t been involved in my kids’ bathroom habits in a decade. I love that they do their own homework and study needing without much from us help. I love that I don’t have to be involved in their social lives anymore aside from driving them places and dropping them off (don’t even have to go in anymore! Love it!). I love that they get their own ski gear on and carry their own equipment now. I love that we can do fun, active things on vacation like ski, snorkel, zip line, jet ski, hang glide, etc. I love the fact that we can have interesting conversations now. I love the fact that last night, DD was filling me in on the “hot tea” about who is dating who in her brothers’ friend groups. It was funny and fun.

I don’t want to breastfeed another baby. I don’t want to have to wake up at night, even for minor things like teething, earaches, illness, nightmares. I don’t want to have to sleep train or potty train another kid or teach one to read.

I did my time in the tre pinches and now I get to enjoy my kids as people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, will Gen X and Gen Z soon become grandparents sooner than expected? I don't think I'll be ready to be a grandma when my oldest is 22-25!

It’s not about how you feel as a grandmother, it’s about what your kids want to do with their lives. You’re really making it all about yourself.

[Anonymous]

Average young people (not those being influenced by the community they grew up in, i.e fundamentalidts, ethnic minorities, etc.) marrying earlier is nothing more than an indication that they understand the nonpermanance of modern marriage.

Everything can be undone quickly and efficiently if you want, so why not marry? You get a to have a great party that you can broadcast to the world through social media. It's like prom but bigger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Average young people (not those being influenced by the community they grew up in, i.e fundamentalidts, ethnic minorities, etc.) marrying earlier is nothing more than an indication that they understand the nonpermanance of modern marriage.

Everything can be undone quickly and efficiently if you want, so why not marry? You get a to have a great party that you can broadcast to the world through social media. It's like prom but bigger.

I mean the kids nowadays not the 42 year old who decades ago decide to marry young. The world has changed from when you made your decision