Most social, fun and extroverted selective schools

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a recent graduate of the top school that conventional wisdom has declared FUN (Vanderbilt). This kid has a close friend attending the School Where Fun Goes to Die (Chicago) during the same years.

My kid, during many trips to stay with his friend on campus, found Chicago much more social, genuinely engaging and collaborative than Vanderbilt. People actually looked up from their phones and engaged and talked to each other and formed new clubs.

If however an elaborate tailgate scene is what you're actually asking, then yes, Vandy does well in that regard

Agree

Have heard the UChicago fun description a lot over last 2-3 years.

Is it still true today?

How do kids socialize? Downtown Chicago?

I had heard that Chicago kids were more mainstream, laid back but then we visited during their summer open house and 95% of our fellow prospective students appeared to be smart, quirky kids (nothing wrong with that but it was clearly a marked demographic).

honestly, I don't think you can avoid this at any top20 schools in 2025 except the state schools that are required to take smart but not super-gunner in-state students. The rest of their student bodies are primarily a grinder, geeky bunch. We toured a dozen top20 schools this summer and all the prospective student tours were filled with kids who looked like they don't leave their bedrooms except for school. Even Vanderbilt and Duke--it was no different there.

I know my post sounds highly critical of geeks but I actually was one (and married a guy who was even more of a science odd-ball (we met in an engineering program.) Unfortunately my kids (junior and senior) are pretty main-stream, very social but smart. They tour the top20 private schools in 2025 and feel like they don't see their people. They likely (fingers crossed) will end up at large state schools.

And my extremely bright yet social kid loved over half the t20s we toured and loves their ivy, and little sibling is aiming for a different ivy…to each their own i say! It is great yours realized that type of academic environment is not for them

No. Your kid is just nerdier than the previous poster’s kid and my own kid. And it’s OK.

Revel in their nerdiness, but let other people try to find their people too.
What’s the harm in them posting their opinion? Fii ok r a post about their kind of kid?

Glad your kid found their ppl - guess what. You’re not the target audience for this post. Read the title!

I read the title. My kid's "people" are soclal and extroverted just as they are. But at an ivy. Shocker there are socially extroverted brilliant kids too. The stereotype that they are all introverted , super nerdy, and do not leave the library is tiresome. The ivies and similar t15 provide the best of both worlds: unparalleled academics plus hundreds of clubs, performance arts, and more where brilliant kids have FUN and it is ok to care about intellectual things. We have been on campus many weekends and have seen the parties, and also heard about parties departments and professors have, for undergrads and grad students.
The whole "ivies are so nerdy" is mostly copium.

So you think parties hosted by academic departments and professors are fun and are examples of the vibrant social life?

Same NP as the previous but I happen to have just gotten pictures from a (large) department party for undergrad majors and grad students. It was an earth-wind-fire party and they played beer pong and ate pizza with grad and some professors came, dressed up, & played too. Most of them have ongoing research with some of these grad and profs too so spent the summer around them. I did not ask if 21 and up but in the past this has been the case if professors are invited. They had it at a house right near campus and had a DJ. It was definitely a fun party--students can have fun and socialize with people who are in different phases of life. It is odd to me you do not think that is possible? Last year this department hosted wine and cheese at a museum where they all dressed up and yes it was fun!

This is beyond nerd patrol.
My kid is at a T10 and this does not sound like fun.

The type of people who think this is fun are not the type of social this post is directed to.

Right? I think these parents are so funny. Their nerdy kids are at a party where there is beer pong (with professors) or eating wine and cheese at museums (in costume) and suddenly they are crazy social extroverts.

I propose Claremont with the drinking and cocaine for yours? Heck is wrong with this thread? Dcum is strange. Ivy and T20 obsessed on almost every thread, to the point of being ridiculous handwringing over getting in and over rankings of 25 vs 30, yet a significant portion seems to be on a quest for Animal House 2025. Those two pursuits do not overlap. Do you need to relive your college days through your kids? Did you not have enough fun, or do you just know they have zero chance at getting into a T20 so you bash them all as geeky and nerdy so you can cope? I have a friend like that. Her kid was shut out of all T25s despite valedictorian blah blah and all she does is bash T25s as not fun and not social and filled with nerds "now", despite the fact that she went to a T10. She is certain the school was "so social" and "more fun" back then yet...her descriptions of it in the 90s are oddly similar to my kid's experience now. She does hold a particular grudge against the ND rejection in addition to her alma mater's rejection. Lo, maybe she is on here!

Please leave.
You post constantly.
We really don’t give a crap about you or your friends daughters experience.

Er nope. New here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a recent graduate of the top school that conventional wisdom has declared FUN (Vanderbilt). This kid has a close friend attending the School Where Fun Goes to Die (Chicago) during the same years.

My kid, during many trips to stay with his friend on campus, found Chicago much more social, genuinely engaging and collaborative than Vanderbilt. People actually looked up from their phones and engaged and talked to each other and formed new clubs.

If however an elaborate tailgate scene is what you're actually asking, then yes, Vandy does well in that regard

Agree

Have heard the UChicago fun description a lot over last 2-3 years.

Is it still true today?

How do kids socialize? Downtown Chicago?

I had heard that Chicago kids were more mainstream, laid back but then we visited during their summer open house and 95% of our fellow prospective students appeared to be smart, quirky kids (nothing wrong with that but it was clearly a marked demographic).

honestly, I don't think you can avoid this at any top20 schools in 2025 except the state schools that are required to take smart but not super-gunner in-state students. The rest of their student bodies are primarily a grinder, geeky bunch. We toured a dozen top20 schools this summer and all the prospective student tours were filled with kids who looked like they don't leave their bedrooms except for school. Even Vanderbilt and Duke--it was no different there.

I know my post sounds highly critical of geeks but I actually was one (and married a guy who was even more of a science odd-ball (we met in an engineering program.) Unfortunately my kids (junior and senior) are pretty main-stream, very social but smart. They tour the top20 private schools in 2025 and feel like they don't see their people. They likely (fingers crossed) will end up at large state schools.

And my extremely bright yet social kid loved over half the t20s we toured and loves their ivy, and little sibling is aiming for a different ivy…to each their own i say! It is great yours realized that type of academic environment is not for them

No. Your kid is just nerdier than the previous poster’s kid and my own kid. And it’s OK.

Revel in their nerdiness, but let other people try to find their people too.
What’s the harm in them posting their opinion? Fii ok r a post about their kind of kid?

Glad your kid found their ppl - guess what. You’re not the target audience for this post. Read the title!

I read the title. My kid's "people" are soclal and extroverted just as they are. But at an ivy. Shocker there are socially extroverted brilliant kids too. The stereotype that they are all introverted , super nerdy, and do not leave the library is tiresome. The ivies and similar t15 provide the best of both worlds: unparalleled academics plus hundreds of clubs, performance arts, and more where brilliant kids have FUN and it is ok to care about intellectual things. We have been on campus many weekends and have seen the parties, and also heard about parties departments and professors have, for undergrads and grad students.
The whole "ivies are so nerdy" is mostly copium.

So you think parties hosted by academic departments and professors are fun and are examples of the vibrant social life?

Same NP as the previous but I happen to have just gotten pictures from a (large) department party for undergrad majors and grad students. It was an earth-wind-fire party and they played beer pong and ate pizza with grad and some professors came, dressed up, & played too. Most of them have ongoing research with some of these grad and profs too so spent the summer around them. I did not ask if 21 and up but in the past this has been the case if professors are invited. They had it at a house right near campus and had a DJ. It was definitely a fun party--students can have fun and socialize with people who are in different phases of life. It is odd to me you do not think that is possible? Last year this department hosted wine and cheese at a museum where they all dressed up and yes it was fun!

This is beyond nerd patrol.
My kid is at a T10 and this does not sound like fun.

The type of people who think this is fun are not the type of social this post is directed to.

Right? I think these parents are so funny. Their nerdy kids are at a party where there is beer pong (with professors) or eating wine and cheese at museums (in costume) and suddenly they are crazy social extroverts.

THIS.

We asked a top10 tour guide about the party/social/fun scene at the school and he replied, "well once a month a group of 30 of us will get together and go out for Dim Sum together!!" (he was white-mentioning this is not a racial thing).

My extrovert teenagers were like, "huh."

What school was this? Seriously. This is my DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a recent graduate of the top school that conventional wisdom has declared FUN (Vanderbilt). This kid has a close friend attending the School Where Fun Goes to Die (Chicago) during the same years.

My kid, during many trips to stay with his friend on campus, found Chicago much more social, genuinely engaging and collaborative than Vanderbilt. People actually looked up from their phones and engaged and talked to each other and formed new clubs.

If however an elaborate tailgate scene is what you're actually asking, then yes, Vandy does well in that regard

Agree

Have heard the UChicago fun description a lot over last 2-3 years.

Is it still true today?

How do kids socialize? Downtown Chicago?

I had heard that Chicago kids were more mainstream, laid back but then we visited during their summer open house and 95% of our fellow prospective students appeared to be smart, quirky kids (nothing wrong with that but it was clearly a marked demographic).

honestly, I don't think you can avoid this at any top20 schools in 2025 except the state schools that are required to take smart but not super-gunner in-state students. The rest of their student bodies are primarily a grinder, geeky bunch. We toured a dozen top20 schools this summer and all the prospective student tours were filled with kids who looked like they don't leave their bedrooms except for school. Even Vanderbilt and Duke--it was no different there.

I know my post sounds highly critical of geeks but I actually was one (and married a guy who was even more of a science odd-ball (we met in an engineering program.) Unfortunately my kids (junior and senior) are pretty main-stream, very social but smart. They tour the top20 private schools in 2025 and feel like they don't see their people. They likely (fingers crossed) will end up at large state schools.

And my extremely bright yet social kid loved over half the t20s we toured and loves their ivy, and little sibling is aiming for a different ivy…to each their own i say! It is great yours realized that type of academic environment is not for them

No. Your kid is just nerdier than the previous poster’s kid and my own kid. And it’s OK.

Revel in their nerdiness, but let other people try to find their people too.
What’s the harm in them posting their opinion? Fii ok r a post about their kind of kid?

Glad your kid found their ppl - guess what. You’re not the target audience for this post. Read the title!

I read the title. My kid's "people" are soclal and extroverted just as they are. But at an ivy. Shocker there are socially extroverted brilliant kids too. The stereotype that they are all introverted , super nerdy, and do not leave the library is tiresome. The ivies and similar t15 provide the best of both worlds: unparalleled academics plus hundreds of clubs, performance arts, and more where brilliant kids have FUN and it is ok to care about intellectual things. We have been on campus many weekends and have seen the parties, and also heard about parties departments and professors have, for undergrads and grad students.
The whole "ivies are so nerdy" is mostly copium.

So you think parties hosted by academic departments and professors are fun and are examples of the vibrant social life?

Same NP as the previous but I happen to have just gotten pictures from a (large) department party for undergrad majors and grad students. It was an earth-wind-fire party and they played beer pong and ate pizza with grad and some professors came, dressed up, & played too. Most of them have ongoing research with some of these grad and profs too so spent the summer around them. I did not ask if 21 and up but in the past this has been the case if professors are invited. They had it at a house right near campus and had a DJ. It was definitely a fun party--students can have fun and socialize with people who are in different phases of life. It is odd to me you do not think that is possible? Last year this department hosted wine and cheese at a museum where they all dressed up and yes it was fun!

This is beyond nerd patrol.
My kid is at a T10 and this does not sound like fun.

The type of people who think this is fun are not the type of social this post is directed to.

Right? I think these parents are so funny. Their nerdy kids are at a party where there is beer pong (with professors) or eating wine and cheese at museums (in costume) and suddenly they are crazy social extroverts.

+1

In your defense, I don't think you (or anyone else) is asking for a "drunken haze" of a college experience.
Perhaps something more akin to rah-rah, socialization, involving 3+ nights out (whether on or on campus) and involving socialization with groups of kids (often in bars or other social establishments, including dance clubs). I don't think anyone equates club athletics with a "social, fun, extroverted" scene....

Obviously club athletics has a place, but that's not what my kid is talking about (and likely what the OP was referring to) when looking for "conventional" fun/social/extroverted collegiate experience?
To each their own. Why is there so much judgement here?
This post is about a certain type of school or vibe.
If that's not your (or your kids thing), don't make this post about you?

Agree. I actually find this conversation helpful.
I know several (actually more than several) college freshman from our private who are miserable at their schools because of a mismatch in expectations re the social scene (which is LESS robust than high school). Not what they bargained for. I'm sure they'll find their people eventually. But its hard and a lot of parents scratching their heads.

A discussion like this is actually helpful for those folks (like me) trying to navigate with a "social" senior. Truthfully, my kid likely won't get into any of these schools (or if do, won't have a choice of many) so the conversation may be moot.
But the social environment is more important than people think and finding a good "social" fit shouldn't be left until the very end.

So thanks for those who've contributed to this discussion productively. Some of us find it helpful.

agree, please keep sharing!!! senior parent here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s more fun:
Vandy or Duke??

And if you had to rank these 4 - for a traditionally extroverted and social kid - whose idea of fun includes non-academic parties, bars, on and off-campus socializing, potentially also Greek life if available:

Stanford
Duke
Vanderbilt
Northwestern

Duke has very little greek life now, lots of nerds that this thread does not like, and socializing is around Duke basketball games. . Norhtwestern is even more of a serious vibe. Vanderbilt based on friends' social media posts is party central. Stanford is grindy.

Interesting.
Assume non-Stem or CS major.
Humanities.
Do others agree?

I think all these schools have grinders and they have partiers. not PP and I only know one Vanderbilt student from recent years and they were introverted, kind, but did not do anything related to big parties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a recent graduate of the top school that conventional wisdom has declared FUN (Vanderbilt). This kid has a close friend attending the School Where Fun Goes to Die (Chicago) during the same years.

My kid, during many trips to stay with his friend on campus, found Chicago much more social, genuinely engaging and collaborative than Vanderbilt. People actually looked up from their phones and engaged and talked to each other and formed new clubs.

If however an elaborate tailgate scene is what you're actually asking, then yes, Vandy does well in that regard

Agree

Have heard the UChicago fun description a lot over last 2-3 years.

Is it still true today?

How do kids socialize? Downtown Chicago?

I had heard that Chicago kids were more mainstream, laid back but then we visited during their summer open house and 95% of our fellow prospective students appeared to be smart, quirky kids (nothing wrong with that but it was clearly a marked demographic).

honestly, I don't think you can avoid this at any top20 schools in 2025 except the state schools that are required to take smart but not super-gunner in-state students. The rest of their student bodies are primarily a grinder, geeky bunch. We toured a dozen top20 schools this summer and all the prospective student tours were filled with kids who looked like they don't leave their bedrooms except for school. Even Vanderbilt and Duke--it was no different there.

I know my post sounds highly critical of geeks but I actually was one (and married a guy who was even more of a science odd-ball (we met in an engineering program.) Unfortunately my kids (junior and senior) are pretty main-stream, very social but smart. They tour the top20 private schools in 2025 and feel like they don't see their people. They likely (fingers crossed) will end up at large state schools.

And my extremely bright yet social kid loved over half the t20s we toured and loves their ivy, and little sibling is aiming for a different ivy…to each their own i say! It is great yours realized that type of academic environment is not for them

No. Your kid is just nerdier than the previous poster’s kid and my own kid. And it’s OK.

Revel in their nerdiness, but let other people try to find their people too.
What’s the harm in them posting their opinion? Fii ok r a post about their kind of kid?

Glad your kid found their ppl - guess what. You’re not the target audience for this post. Read the title!

I read the title. My kid's "people" are soclal and extroverted just as they are. But at an ivy. Shocker there are socially extroverted brilliant kids too. The stereotype that they are all introverted , super nerdy, and do not leave the library is tiresome. The ivies and similar t15 provide the best of both worlds: unparalleled academics plus hundreds of clubs, performance arts, and more where brilliant kids have FUN and it is ok to care about intellectual things. We have been on campus many weekends and have seen the parties, and also heard about parties departments and professors have, for undergrads and grad students.
The whole "ivies are so nerdy" is mostly copium.

So you think parties hosted by academic departments and professors are fun and are examples of the vibrant social life?

Same NP as the previous but I happen to have just gotten pictures from a (large) department party for undergrad majors and grad students. It was an earth-wind-fire party and they played beer pong and ate pizza with grad and some professors came, dressed up, & played too. Most of them have ongoing research with some of these grad and profs too so spent the summer around them. I did not ask if 21 and up but in the past this has been the case if professors are invited. They had it at a house right near campus and had a DJ. It was definitely a fun party--students can have fun and socialize with people who are in different phases of life. It is odd to me you do not think that is possible? Last year this department hosted wine and cheese at a museum where they all dressed up and yes it was fun!

This is beyond nerd patrol.
My kid is at a T10 and this does not sound like fun.

The type of people who think this is fun are not the type of social this post is directed to.

Right? I think these parents are so funny. Their nerdy kids are at a party where there is beer pong (with professors) or eating wine and cheese at museums (in costume) and suddenly they are crazy social extroverts.

+1

In your defense, I don't think you (or anyone else) is asking for a "drunken haze" of a college experience.
Perhaps something more akin to rah-rah, socialization, involving 3+ nights out (whether on or on campus) and involving socialization with groups of kids (often in bars or other social establishments, including dance clubs). I don't think anyone equates club athletics with a "social, fun, extroverted" scene....

Obviously club athletics has a place, but that's not what my kid is talking about (and likely what the OP was referring to) when looking for "conventional" fun/social/extroverted collegiate experience?
To each their own. Why is there so much judgement here?
This post is about a certain type of school or vibe.
If that's not your (or your kids thing), don't make this post about you?

Agree. I actually find this conversation helpful.
I know several (actually more than several) college freshman from our private who are miserable at their schools because of a mismatch in expectations re the social scene (which is LESS robust than high school). Not what they bargained for. I'm sure they'll find their people eventually. But its hard and a lot of parents scratching their heads.

A discussion like this is actually helpful for those folks (like me) trying to navigate with a "social" senior. Truthfully, my kid likely won't get into any of these schools (or if do, won't have a choice of many) so the conversation may be moot.
But the social environment is more important than people think and finding a good "social" fit shouldn't be left until the very end.

So thanks for those who've contributed to this discussion productively. Some of us find it helpful.

Thank you for this post. I also have a very social senior who has the grades/stats/resume for a top school but who hasn't seen their people when they go on the tours. We are left wondering what to do (although of course deadlines are looming).

What schools are you talking about when you mentioned "kids who are miserable at their schools because of a mismatch in expectations re the social scene?"

[Anonymous]

Those of us with extroverted social kids are not talking about wanting to get "black-out drunk." We want some semblance of a social world. The tour groups we were one this summer painted a pretty bleak picture.

I'll probably get deleted for this but let me describe. We toured Cornell twice this summer (kid is interested in a specific program).

Lots of Asian kids with a parent on either side. Kid in the middle looking super stressed and pained. Lots of white kids who looked like they had never left their room in high school. Wearing graphic Ts from 7th grade, pants pulled up to their armpits, sneakers bought only for functionality. I mean, it was something. My kids (regular, normal kids from DC) were like, "WHERE the heck are we?" Then the tour started and half the questions were "now, how do we get into here? what is the secret?" The poor tour guides (of course) have nothing to say about this. Parents elbowing their child "ask the guide your question, son". Son" "Oh, yes, please tour guide, "what extracurriculars did you do and what should i do in high school to get into Cornell?"

My kids were horrified. This is nothing like the dynamic of our family and they saw nothing of themselves in this stressed out, over parented group of weirdos.

Commence the deletion of my post but it's my story and I"m sticking to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Those of us with extroverted social kids are not talking about wanting to get "black-out drunk." We want some semblance of a social world. The tour groups we were one this summer painted a pretty bleak picture.

I'll probably get deleted for this but let me describe. We toured Cornell twice this summer (kid is interested in a specific program).

Lots of Asian kids with a parent on either side. Kid in the middle looking super stressed and pained. Lots of white kids who looked like they had never left their room in high school. Wearing graphic Ts from 7th grade, pants pulled up to their armpits, sneakers bought only for functionality. I mean, it was something. My kids (regular, normal kids from DC) were like, "WHERE the heck are we?" Then the tour started and half the questions were "now, how do we get into here? what is the secret?" The poor tour guides (of course) have nothing to say about this. Parents elbowing their child "ask the guide your question, son". Son" "Oh, yes, please tour guide, "what extracurriculars did you do and what should i do in high school to get into Cornell?"

My kids were horrified. This is nothing like the dynamic of our family and they saw nothing of themselves in this stressed out, over parented group of weirdos.

Commence the deletion of my post but it's my story and I"m sticking to it.

And we went back (literally drove 5 hours back to Ithaca for a second tour) just in case we had missed something or had a odd group the first time. It was basically the SAME demographic the second time.

[Anonymous]

Those of us with extroverted social kids are not talking about wanting to get "black-out drunk." We want some semblance of a social world. The tour groups we were one this summer painted a pretty bleak picture.

I'll probably get deleted for this but let me describe. We toured Cornell twice this summer (kid is interested in a specific program).

Lots of Asian kids with a parent on either side. Kid in the middle looking super stressed and pained. Lots of white kids who looked like they had never left their room in high school. Wearing graphic Ts from 7th grade, pants pulled up to their armpits, sneakers bought only for functionality. I mean, it was something. My kids (regular, normal kids from DC) were like, "WHERE the heck are we?" Then the tour started and half the questions were "now, how do we get into here? what is the secret?" The poor tour guides (of course) have nothing to say about this. Parents elbowing their child "ask the guide your question, son". Son" "Oh, yes, please tour guide, "what extracurriculars did you do and what should i do in high school to get into Cornell?"

My kids were horrified. This is nothing like the dynamic of our family and they saw nothing of themselves in this stressed out, over parented group of weirdos.

Commence the deletion of my post but it's my story and I"m sticking to it.

Thank you for this honest and funny recount of your tours. It gels with a friend's kid's experience who was accepted to Cornell. It was their first choice until they visited again. Like many kids, the lens when applying was very different than having an acceptance in hand and real possibility of attending. Kid chose Middlebury.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Those of us with extroverted social kids are not talking about wanting to get "black-out drunk." We want some semblance of a social world. The tour groups we were one this summer painted a pretty bleak picture.

I'll probably get deleted for this but let me describe. We toured Cornell twice this summer (kid is interested in a specific program).

Lots of Asian kids with a parent on either side. Kid in the middle looking super stressed and pained. Lots of white kids who looked like they had never left their room in high school. Wearing graphic Ts from 7th grade, pants pulled up to their armpits, sneakers bought only for functionality. I mean, it was something. My kids (regular, normal kids from DC) were like, "WHERE the heck are we?" Then the tour started and half the questions were "now, how do we get into here? what is the secret?" The poor tour guides (of course) have nothing to say about this. Parents elbowing their child "ask the guide your question, son". Son" "Oh, yes, please tour guide, "what extracurriculars did you do and what should i do in high school to get into Cornell?"

My kids were horrified. This is nothing like the dynamic of our family and they saw nothing of themselves in this stressed out, over parented group of weirdos.

Commence the deletion of my post but it's my story and I"m sticking to it.

Np. I have a freshman kid at Cornell. You are right, there are lots and lots of nerds.

But bc if it’s size, a large minority of the kids (several thousand) are actually very very social (fratty) kids…they truthfully are probably not ever doing the tours! Many are in Dyson or arts & sciences. Not CS or Eng.

They go to frat parties and the 2 main freshman bars (Level B and something else) at least 3-4 nights a week. Some of the frat parties are in the “annex” bc they don’t want to mess up their actual homes (some have appeared in arch digest).

Theres a bit of a social climbing atmosphere in soft rush (what do your parents do etc) but nothing horrible. Some of the Greek houses are beautiful. Kid went out too much first few weeks…a lot of 2-3am returns home.

Note there is a ton of $$$$ at Cornell. Lots of range rovers, G-wagons and Porsches driven by kids. And a lot of fancy kids clothing/accessories. Social life is bifurcated that way too. My kid’s been invited to some “private” dining clubs as well.

If your kids are serious. Have them go for an overnight?

School Work is challenging but not horrible. Weather right now is gorgeous.

Read up at r/Cornell for more details on the social?

[Anonymous]

maybe look past the tour group?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a recent graduate of the top school that conventional wisdom has declared FUN (Vanderbilt). This kid has a close friend attending the School Where Fun Goes to Die (Chicago) during the same years.

My kid, during many trips to stay with his friend on campus, found Chicago much more social, genuinely engaging and collaborative than Vanderbilt. People actually looked up from their phones and engaged and talked to each other and formed new clubs.

If however an elaborate tailgate scene is what you're actually asking, then yes, Vandy does well in that regard

Agree

Have heard the UChicago fun description a lot over last 2-3 years.

Is it still true today?

How do kids socialize? Downtown Chicago?

I had heard that Chicago kids were more mainstream, laid back but then we visited during their summer open house and 95% of our fellow prospective students appeared to be smart, quirky kids (nothing wrong with that but it was clearly a marked demographic).

honestly, I don't think you can avoid this at any top20 schools in 2025 except the state schools that are required to take smart but not super-gunner in-state students. The rest of their student bodies are primarily a grinder, geeky bunch. We toured a dozen top20 schools this summer and all the prospective student tours were filled with kids who looked like they don't leave their bedrooms except for school. Even Vanderbilt and Duke--it was no different there.

I know my post sounds highly critical of geeks but I actually was one (and married a guy who was even more of a science odd-ball (we met in an engineering program.) Unfortunately my kids (junior and senior) are pretty main-stream, very social but smart. They tour the top20 private schools in 2025 and feel like they don't see their people. They likely (fingers crossed) will end up at large state schools.

And my extremely bright yet social kid loved over half the t20s we toured and loves their ivy, and little sibling is aiming for a different ivy…to each their own i say! It is great yours realized that type of academic environment is not for them

No. Your kid is just nerdier than the previous poster’s kid and my own kid. And it’s OK.

Revel in their nerdiness, but let other people try to find their people too.
What’s the harm in them posting their opinion? Fii ok r a post about their kind of kid?

Glad your kid found their ppl - guess what. You’re not the target audience for this post. Read the title!

I read the title. My kid's "people" are soclal and extroverted just as they are. But at an ivy. Shocker there are socially extroverted brilliant kids too. The stereotype that they are all introverted , super nerdy, and do not leave the library is tiresome. The ivies and similar t15 provide the best of both worlds: unparalleled academics plus hundreds of clubs, performance arts, and more where brilliant kids have FUN and it is ok to care about intellectual things. We have been on campus many weekends and have seen the parties, and also heard about parties departments and professors have, for undergrads and grad students.
The whole "ivies are so nerdy" is mostly copium.

So you think parties hosted by academic departments and professors are fun and are examples of the vibrant social life?

Same NP as the previous but I happen to have just gotten pictures from a (large) department party for undergrad majors and grad students. It was an earth-wind-fire party and they played beer pong and ate pizza with grad and some professors came, dressed up, & played too. Most of them have ongoing research with some of these grad and profs too so spent the summer around them. I did not ask if 21 and up but in the past this has been the case if professors are invited. They had it at a house right near campus and had a DJ. It was definitely a fun party--students can have fun and socialize with people who are in different phases of life. It is odd to me you do not think that is possible? Last year this department hosted wine and cheese at a museum where they all dressed up and yes it was fun!

This is beyond nerd patrol.
My kid is at a T10 and this does not sound like fun.

The type of people who think this is fun are not the type of social this post is directed to.

Right? I think these parents are so funny. Their nerdy kids are at a party where there is beer pong (with professors) or eating wine and cheese at museums (in costume) and suddenly they are crazy social extroverts.

My Ivy kid is still athletic obsessed. He plays his sport (not on varsity) 5 nights a week and is on the school club team as well as local U-23 team. There are many kids just like him. They lift, workout, play up at the field and then go out afterwards to hang out (not huge drinkers primarily because they are very 'athlete' focused). They are like your typical kid found everywhere else---except some have some really ridiculous stats and backgrounds.

My primary activity in college was tail-gaiting and binge drinking. My kid is much more well-rounded in that not everything is done with copious amounts of alcohol. People of my generation have a lot of alcohol use disorders later in life. The high school kids today drink less than any prior generation. It's normal not to be a binger.

Does he struggle with finding people to date at his school?

I am in Cambridge and New Haven quite a bit and the lookers are few and far between. I’m sure there must be insane competition for the few baddies. Unlike schools like Tulane, at H and Y, there are more dateable guys than women it seems.

Maybe it’s different at Penn or Princeton?

[Anonymous]

so this is who is on the internet in the middle of the day

[Anonymous]

I have a preppy dressing kid at Brown that likes to be social, but isn’t into partying. I mention the preppy as I think many are misguided on what the student body is today. For his friends, fun is playing sports and games in the quad, pool, cards, and then going to dinner together. On random weekends they may take a trip to the beach or go into Boston. There is a lot of social buzz going on. He didn’t want a Greek heavy partying scene that dominated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Those of us with extroverted social kids are not talking about wanting to get "black-out drunk." We want some semblance of a social world. The tour groups we were one this summer painted a pretty bleak picture.

I'll probably get deleted for this but let me describe. We toured Cornell twice this summer (kid is interested in a specific program).

Lots of Asian kids with a parent on either side. Kid in the middle looking super stressed and pained. Lots of white kids who looked like they had never left their room in high school. Wearing graphic Ts from 7th grade, pants pulled up to their armpits, sneakers bought only for functionality. I mean, it was something. My kids (regular, normal kids from DC) were like, "WHERE the heck are we?" Then the tour started and half the questions were "now, how do we get into here? what is the secret?" The poor tour guides (of course) have nothing to say about this. Parents elbowing their child "ask the guide your question, son". Son" "Oh, yes, please tour guide, "what extracurriculars did you do and what should i do in high school to get into Cornell?"

My kids were horrified. This is nothing like the dynamic of our family and they saw nothing of themselves in this stressed out, over parented group of weirdos.

Commence the deletion of my post but it's my story and I"m sticking to it.

While I'm not disputing your impressions, I think there are real limitations to the amount that one can learn about a school from a tour and half-day visit. FWIW, my extraverted DS and I visited Dartmouth and had a similar experience full of awkward kids and parents last year. But DS subsequently did an overnight visit for an admitted students event in April and his impressions were completely different. Per DS, Dartmouth seemed like a very social and fun (and not just in the kegger/frat sense) in a way that one never would have guessed from our prior visit. Anyhow, I'm fine with kids including or omitting applications based on visits and tours because they have to make such decisions anyway. But I'd caution people from assuming that they ever really know a school based on such a limited experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:so this is who is on the internet in the middle of the day

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