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Anonymous wrote:I have a recent graduate of the top school that conventional wisdom has declared FUN (Vanderbilt). This kid has a close friend attending the School Where Fun Goes to Die (Chicago) during the same years.
My kid, during many trips to stay with his friend on campus, found Chicago much more social, genuinely engaging and collaborative than Vanderbilt. People actually looked up from their phones and engaged and talked to each other and formed new clubs.
If however an elaborate tailgate scene is what you're actually asking, then yes, Vandy does well in that regard
Agree
Have heard the UChicago fun description a lot over last 2-3 years.
Is it still true today?
How do kids socialize? Downtown Chicago?
I had heard that Chicago kids were more mainstream, laid back but then we visited during their summer open house and 95% of our fellow prospective students appeared to be smart, quirky kids (nothing wrong with that but it was clearly a marked demographic).
honestly, I don't think you can avoid this at any top20 schools in 2025 except the state schools that are required to take smart but not super-gunner in-state students. The rest of their student bodies are primarily a grinder, geeky bunch. We toured a dozen top20 schools this summer and all the prospective student tours were filled with kids who looked like they don't leave their bedrooms except for school. Even Vanderbilt and Duke--it was no different there.
I know my post sounds highly critical of geeks but I actually was one (and married a guy who was even more of a science odd-ball (we met in an engineering program.) Unfortunately my kids (junior and senior) are pretty main-stream, very social but smart.
They tour the top20 private schools in 2025 and feel like they don't see their people. They likely (fingers crossed) will end up at large state schools.
And my extremely bright yet social kid loved over half the t20s we toured and loves their ivy, and little sibling is aiming for a different ivy…to each their own i say! It is great yours realized that type of academic environment is not for them
No. Your kid is just nerdier than the previous poster’s kid and my own kid. And it’s OK.
Revel in their nerdiness, but let other people try to find their people too.
What’s the harm in them posting their opinion? Fii ok r a post about their kind of kid?
Glad your kid found their ppl - guess what. You’re not the target audience for this post. Read the title!
I read the title. My kid's "people" are soclal and extroverted just as they are. But at an ivy. Shocker there are socially extroverted brilliant kids too. The stereotype that they are all introverted , super nerdy, and do not leave the library is tiresome. The ivies and similar t15 provide the best of both worlds: unparalleled academics plus hundreds of clubs, performance arts, and more where brilliant kids have FUN and it is ok to care about intellectual things. We have been on campus many weekends and have seen the parties, and
also heard about parties departments and professors have, for undergrads and grad students.
The whole "ivies are so nerdy" is mostly copium.
So you think parties hosted by academic departments and professors are fun and are examples of the vibrant social life?
Same NP as the previous but I happen to have just gotten pictures from a (large) department party for undergrad majors and grad students. It was an earth-wind-fire party and they played beer pong and ate pizza with grad and some professors came, dressed up, & played too. Most of them have ongoing research with some of these grad and profs too so spent the summer around them. I did not ask if 21 and up but in the past this has been the case if professors are invited. They had it at a house right near campus and had a DJ. It was definitely a fun party--students can have fun and socialize with people who are in different phases of life. It is odd to me you do not think that is possible? Last year this department hosted wine and cheese at a museum where they all dressed up and yes it was fun!
This is beyond nerd patrol.
My kid is at a T10 and this does not sound like fun.
The type of people who think this is fun are not the type of social this post is directed to.
Right? I think these parents are so funny. Their nerdy kids are at a party where there is beer pong (with professors) or eating wine and cheese at museums (in costume) and suddenly they are crazy social extroverts.
+1
In your defense, I don't think you (or anyone else) is asking for a "drunken haze" of a college experience.
Perhaps something more akin to rah-rah, socialization, involving 3+ nights out (whether on or on campus) and involving socialization with groups of kids (often in bars or other social establishments, including dance clubs). I don't think anyone equates club athletics with a "social, fun, extroverted" scene....
Obviously club athletics has a place, but that's not what my kid is talking about (and likely what the OP was referring to) when looking for "conventional" fun/social/extroverted collegiate experience?
To each their own. Why is there so much judgement here?
This post is about a certain type of school or vibe.
If that's not your (or your kids thing), don't make this post about you?
Agree. I actually find this conversation helpful.
I know several (actually more than several) college freshman from our private who are miserable at their schools because of a mismatch in expectations re the social scene (which is LESS robust than high school). Not what they bargained for. I'm sure they'll find their people eventually. But its hard and a lot of parents scratching their heads.
A discussion like this is actually helpful for those folks (like me) trying to navigate with a "social" senior. Truthfully, my kid likely won't get into any of these schools (or if do, won't have a choice of many) so the conversation may be moot.
But the social environment is more important than people think and finding a good "social" fit shouldn't be left until the very end.
So thanks for those who've contributed to this discussion productively. Some of us find it helpful.
Thank you for this post. I also have a very social senior who has the grades/stats/resume for a top school but who hasn't seen their people when they go on the tours. We are left wondering what to do (although of course deadlines are looming).
What schools are you talking about when you mentioned "kids who are miserable at their schools because of a mismatch in expectations re the social scene?"
Different poster. Among the schools we looked at, Duke, Northwestern, Stanford, and Penn all seemed surprisingly cold and stressful and un-fun. I think parents take some of the perceptions they formed during their formative years, and assume that nothing has changed. But lots has changed since the 90s. I was certain Northwestern was going to be perfect for my smart and social kid. And, well, it wasn't, which is why visits are so useful.
Columbia seemed particularly grim. But maybe that's not so different.
Vanderbilt, Notre Dame, Michigan, and McGill all seemed lively, friendly, and the most balanced of the schools we saw.
I also liked Chicago, but DC did not. And I think WashU would be a good fit for a certain kind of social student. Not mine, but others.
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. We ruled out all big state publics/football/greek culture. He was a mid-size Ivy/Slac type
