Rich white kids at Ivies

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
So called 'connections' is BS for the most part for normal middle class folks.

Exactly

If you come from LC/MC, what do you bring to the table that those rich white kids want to hang out with you? It is like a person who is fat, broke and lazy but yet wants to have a beautiful model girlfriend. The real world does not operate that way.

My DS, from a MC family, just finished his first-year at an Ivy school as a recruited athlete and this is what he told me: 1- Wealthy kids wanted to hang out with him because they want to be "cool"; 2- They can tag with him to cool parties and talk to pretty girls that they can't do that on their own; 3) My DS can play guitar and sing, so girls are naturally drawn to him (it also happened in HS), and those wealthy kids want to hang out with DS because they want to be like him. One of the wealthy kids, whose father is a CEO of a F500 company, flew him to Vail during winter break in a private jet to stay at his parents' vacation home for two weeks and gave him 10K spending money. He also promises DS that his mother will get DS an internship if DS is his friend during the next four years in college and beyond.

Your kid accepted 10K spending money from a friend? I hope not.

You do realize this person is taking the piss?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
So called 'connections' is BS for the most part for normal middle class folks.

Exactly

If you come from LC/MC, what do you bring to the table that those rich white kids want to hang out with you? It is like a person who is fat, broke and lazy but yet wants to have a beautiful model girlfriend. The real world does not operate that way.

My DS, from a MC family, just finished his first-year at an Ivy school as a recruited athlete and this is what he told me: 1- Wealthy kids wanted to hang out with him because they want to be "cool"; 2- They can tag with him to cool parties and talk to pretty girls that they can't do that on their own; 3) My DS can play guitar and sing, so girls are naturally drawn to him (it also happened in HS), and those wealthy kids want to hang out with DS because they want to be like him. One of the wealthy kids, whose father is a CEO of a F500 company, flew him to Vail during winter break in a private jet to stay at his parents' vacation home for two weeks and gave him 10K spending money. He also promises DS that his mother will get DS an internship if DS is his friend during the next four years in college and beyond.

Your kid accepted 10K spending money from a friend? I hope not.

You do realize this person is taking the piss?

The $10K is the only detail that seems off to me. Private jet people fly friends. Moms get people internships.

I'm not part of this world but I hear about it from time to time and it all seems "off" to me. Did you read the news article about the oligarch's daughter at NYU whose roomie stole a few items and fenced them? These were things costing $1,000s that were just lying around the room and weren't immediately noticed to be missing.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/rcna157688

My friend whose daughter went to Princeton said his daughter spent winter break in Shanghai with the daughter of a family that built a lot of the 1930s skyscrapers ($$$). My manager who had his kids in the Moscow International School said the oligarchs' kids gave out iPads as birthday party favors. Maybe check this Stephen Colbert link out for fun:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5YJ7mh8zWc

And what about that Anna Sorokin/Delvey grifter? She was borrowing/charging large sums.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anna_Sorokin

It's hard to tell trolls from reality, lol.

[Anonymous]

Very few rich white kids left in the ivies due to DEI and FGLI initiatives. They have found other places to go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Very few rich white kids left in the ivies due to DEI and FGLI initiatives. They have found other places to go.

Good troll but they’re 50/60% of any top university’s class. DEI is not why you got rejected from Princeton 28 years ago, though your lack of intelligence likely is up for consideration.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The gay/trans types all hang together too. does that make them bad people?

Survival instinct, of course.

Are you saying it's the same reason the wealthy hang together?

What to gay and trans students need to be protected from at an Ivy league school?

GOP spawn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The $10K is the only detail that seems off to me. Private jet people fly friends. Moms get people internships.

I'm not part of this world but I hear about it from time to time and it all seems "off" to me. Did you read the news article about the oligarch's daughter at NYU whose roomie stole a few items and fenced them? These were things costing $1,000s that were just lying around the room and weren't immediately noticed to be missing.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/rcna157688

My friend whose daughter went to Princeton said his daughter spent winter break in Shanghai with the daughter of a family that built a lot of the 1930s skyscrapers ($$$). My manager who had his kids in the Moscow International School said the oligarchs' kids gave out iPads as birthday party favors. Maybe check this Stephen Colbert link out for fun:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5YJ7mh8zWc

And what about that Anna Sorokin/Delvey grifter? She was borrowing/charging large sums.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anna_Sorokin

It's hard to tell trolls from reality, lol.

So you received second hand information and believed it as such, LOL....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
So called 'connections' is BS for the most part for normal middle class folks.

Exactly

If you come from LC/MC, what do you bring to the table that those rich white kids want to hang out with you? It is like a person who is fat, broke and lazy but yet wants to have a beautiful model girlfriend. The real world does not operate that way.

My DS, from a MC family, just finished his first-year at an Ivy school as a recruited athlete and this is what he told me: 1- Wealthy kids wanted to hang out with him because they want to be "cool"; 2- They can tag with him to cool parties and talk to pretty girls that they can't do that on their own; 3) My DS can play guitar and sing, so girls are naturally drawn to him (it also happened in HS), and those wealthy kids want to hang out with DS because they want to be like him. One of the wealthy kids, whose father is a CEO of a F500 company, flew him to Vail during winter break in a private jet to stay at his parents' vacation home for two weeks and gave him 10K spending money. He also promises DS that his mother will get DS an internship if DS is his friend during the next four years in college and beyond.

So you need a hook not just to get in these places, but also later to be part of the beneficial 'networking' environments people see there.

FWIW my kid goes to a lower tier private school and has classmates with the same sort of wealth and connected parents. Actually, you can see this at publics too. Lots of the MC athletes hang out with the fraternities (who are kids of donors and legacies and wealthy) etc. NONE of this dynamic is exclusive to Ivys.

Yes, but you can make it "in" if you're exceptionally outgoing, good looking and charismatic.
My son's a senior at a top private high school and although we're upper middle class (at best), he moves seamlessly with the popular rung of the super rich. He's invited to Nantucket and Aspen and Europe with classmates. They adore him because he's super funny, deprecating, etc and I think most importantly---weirdly confident. He doesn't feel inferior to anyone.

Now, I'm not sure if any of this is actually to be admired. We (the parents) aren't fans of aiming to be friends with the rich and popular but it's how he's wired. That's another conversation.

I have two other kids who are very different.

Agree 💯 - I see this with my own kids. Some are just better at this than others.

Also agree w ppl who say this is life. Good to have your kids socialize and do ECs that involve lots of interpersonal interaction.

It's just good looks. Young people care if you're hot. If you are, they'll do anything to appeal to you. Then apply this to jobs, and the rest of life...
If you aren't hot, get back to grunt work.

Most of “good looks” is about grooming, clothing choices and signifiers of wealth/class.

Yes, tell your kid that. Not everyone can be hot.

Being “hot” is a LMC mentality. That’s not right.

It’s 100% about grooming/ presentation/ having the right clothes, shoes, bags, grooming (haircut, skincare, nails, makeup) for girls. Also, clothes matter for boys too; cars as well.

Or having your parents being able to host your group of friends for spring break at your place at Albany Club or Lyford Cay. Obviously that helps too. But your guests would need the “right” clothes.

I know you mean well, but rich kids at NYU dress like homeless people who just woke up from their third overdose of the week. Being hot is a physical thing, secondary to status. Your not magically hot for wearing the right clothes.

Those are not the boarding school kids though.

I feel like your knowledge of rich people, specifically rich kids, is from Netflix.

+1

Definitely some imaginations hard at work here.

[Anonymous]

If you attend an Ivy school, you need to think strategically and make "connections" that you can use after graduation and later in life. The joke is on you if you can't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most top colleges are like this. The richest students, across incomes, hang out with one another. The athletes, usually white outside of mainstream sports, hang out with one another. The Middle Class figure it out. The fgli hang out with the fgli.

All colleges are like this.

This was not me or DC's experience at our ivies.

Not my kid’s either. Friends of different races and scholarship to wealthy. It’s quite a mixed and friendly group.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The hack to getting into rich friend groups is being a graduate of Groton or Exeter. Otherwise, you'll just need to be like the rest of us (how awful, I know)

Agree.
Yes, there’s definite tiering to college friend groups.

Your first tier is top boarding schools.
Tier down is certain other private/prep schools (along with the kids of CEO /hedge fund/PE/banker parents bc kids want jobs)
Further down is public high school but full pay
Below that is financial aid kids of any amount.
Bottom is FGLI/questbridge etc.

Read about real experiences on Reddit if you doubt it.

One of the most popular icebreakers for new student orientation/dorms is “where do you summer” or where did you vacation post-graduation. Followed by country club geography.

My DC is at an expensive private on west coast. The first three groups interact with each other. And even though statistically 30 percent of the population is the bottom two groups, they don’t hang out with anyone from those groups. Some of it may be economically related, idk, ie can they pay their way on the weekend ski trip, pay for Coachella etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The hack to getting into rich friend groups is being a graduate of Groton or Exeter. Otherwise, you'll just need to be like the rest of us (how awful, I know)

Agree.
Yes, there’s definite tiering to college friend groups.

Your first tier is top boarding schools.
Tier down is certain other private/prep schools (along with the kids of CEO /hedge fund/PE/banker parents bc kids want jobs)
Further down is public high school but full pay
Below that is financial aid kids of any amount.
Bottom is FGLI/questbridge etc.

Read about real experiences on Reddit if you doubt it.

One of the most popular icebreakers for new student orientation/dorms is “where do you summer” or where did you vacation post-graduation. Followed by country club geography.

My DC is at an expensive private on west coast. The first three groups interact with each other. And even though statistically 30 percent of the population is the bottom two groups, they don’t hang out with anyone from those groups. Some of it may be economically related, idk, ie can they pay their way on the weekend ski trip, pay for Coachella etc.

Agree w/this assessment.
Also there’s an insular boarding school /prep school cohort that hangs out together at one of 3-4 destinations for various breaks - many of which have been named here. Way too insular.

These kids get the IB/PE internships starting summer after freshman year (though I think they only work 4-6 weeks before heading to a vacation destination).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The hack to getting into rich friend groups is being a graduate of Groton or Exeter. Otherwise, you'll just need to be like the rest of us (how awful, I know)

Agree.
Yes, there’s definite tiering to college friend groups.

Your first tier is top boarding schools.
Tier down is certain other private/prep schools (along with the kids of CEO /hedge fund/PE/banker parents bc kids want jobs)
Further down is public high school but full pay
Below that is financial aid kids of any amount.
Bottom is FGLI/questbridge etc.

Read about real experiences on Reddit if you doubt it.

One of the most popular icebreakers for new student orientation/dorms is “where do you summer” or where did you vacation post-graduation. Followed by country club geography.

My DC is at an expensive private on west coast. The first three groups interact with each other. And even though statistically 30 percent of the population is the bottom two groups, they don’t hang out with anyone from those groups. Some of it may be economically related, idk, ie can they pay their way on the weekend ski trip, pay for Coachella etc.

That’s the biggest factor. With wealth socializing moves off campus. It’s another form of suitcase school. doesn’t have to be overt exclusion.

[Anonymous]

Ha. Try Greek life at the southern universities which makes up the majority of the student bodies. If you want to talk about like with like.

The I is and northeast SLACs have a much more diverse social situation these days.

[Anonymous]

^ivies

[Anonymous]

Friendships in college are very transactional. Both sides need to bring something to the table, rich kids have money, and if you're not rich, you either need to be handsome (as a man) or beautiful (as a woman), and have unique talents. Rich kids love to hang out with talented people.