SAHM to working mom

[Anonymous]

Working is awful and takes away from life. Most jobs are absolutely meaningless and thankless, whether high or low pay, compared to spending time with loved ones, in nature or creating (bonus for those who create as their work!) Wohms who judge sahms are lame. I know many of both, I am now a wohm...I guarantee you it is not a mark of superiority, competence or worth. This country generally exploits workers and there is no reward for hard work other than pay. Good for the two moms who drove their kids around doing a mediocre job and lasted a year! That is a victory over capitalist shit.

[Anonymous]

If someone came in with the notion that I am inclined to be jealous of a SAHM, that attitude from an interviewee is likely to become apparent and not in a good way. If you think people hate you because you're beautiful, you almost always have a blind spot you need to think about. As someone interviewing a SAHM, my primary concerns are:

- whether this person will be okay starting where they left off or will feel that is somehow beneath them,
- whether this person will be willing to learn what they missed in the gap years, which can amount to quite a bit of missed knowledge

I have seen SAHMs work out really well, and others not so much, and a lot of it comes down to attitude so I would be keen to get a sense of the interviewee's attitude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Working is awful and takes away from life. Most jobs are absolutely meaningless and thankless, whether high or low pay, compared to spending time with loved ones, in nature or creating (bonus for those who create as their work!) Wohms who judge sahms are lame. I know many of both, I am now a wohm...I guarantee you it is not a mark of superiority, competence or worth. This country generally exploits workers and there is no reward for hard work other than pay. Good for the two moms who drove their kids around doing a mediocre job and lasted a year! That is a victory over capitalist shit.

You sound fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Working is awful and takes away from life. Most jobs are absolutely meaningless and thankless, whether high or low pay, compared to spending time with loved ones, in nature or creating (bonus for those who create as their work!) Wohms who judge sahms are lame. I know many of both, I am now a wohm...I guarantee you it is not a mark of superiority, competence or worth. This country generally exploits workers and there is no reward for hard work other than pay. Good for the two moms who drove their kids around doing a mediocre job and lasted a year! That is a victory over capitalist shit.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Working is awful and takes away from life. Most jobs are absolutely meaningless and thankless, whether high or low pay, compared to spending time with loved ones, in nature or creating (bonus for those who create as their work!) Wohms who judge sahms are lame. I know many of both, I am now a wohm...I guarantee you it is not a mark of superiority, competence or worth. This country generally exploits workers and there is no reward for hard work other than pay. Good for the two moms who drove their kids around doing a mediocre job and lasted a year! That is a victory over capitalist shit.

You sound fun.

DP. More fun than someone who lives for work, at least.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Working is awful and takes away from life. Most jobs are absolutely meaningless and thankless, whether high or low pay, compared to spending time with loved ones, in nature or creating (bonus for those who create as their work!) Wohms who judge sahms are lame. I know many of both, I am now a wohm...I guarantee you it is not a mark of superiority, competence or worth. This country generally exploits workers and there is no reward for hard work other than pay. Good for the two moms who drove their kids around doing a mediocre job and lasted a year! That is a victory over capitalist shit.

You sound fun.

DP. More fun than someone who lives for work, at least.

Agreed, but that is a straw man. PP said "Working is awful and takes away from life." There is a whole lot of ground in between working-is-awful and working-is-everything. I don't want to hang out with either of those people. There are lots of people in a reasonable place in the middle. That is, most people have to work or be kept by someone else who is working so it is a necessity, and lots of jobs are interesting and rewarding, and a nice balance against life because lots of "life" is not actually quality time. It is making meals, changing diapers, doing the laundry, and grocery shopping. I'll take my job over any of those, and I have plenty of time left over to be with friends and family. My work is not everything but it is not awful either. I enjoy it and it pays the bills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Working is awful and takes away from life. Most jobs are absolutely meaningless and thankless, whether high or low pay, compared to spending time with loved ones, in nature or creating (bonus for those who create as their work!) Wohms who judge sahms are lame. I know many of both, I am now a wohm...I guarantee you it is not a mark of superiority, competence or worth. This country generally exploits workers and there is no reward for hard work other than pay. Good for the two moms who drove their kids around doing a mediocre job and lasted a year! That is a victory over capitalist shit.

You sound fun.

DP. More fun than someone who lives for work, at least.

Agreed, but that is a straw man. PP said "Working is awful and takes away from life." There is a whole lot of ground in between working-is-awful and working-is-everything. I don't want to hang out with either of those people. There are lots of people in a reasonable place in the middle. That is, most people have to work or be kept by someone else who is working so it is a necessity, and lots of jobs are interesting and rewarding, and a nice balance against life because lots of "life" is not actually quality time. It is making meals, changing diapers, doing the laundry, and grocery shopping. I'll take my job over any of those, and I have plenty of time left over to be with friends and family. My work is not everything but it is not awful either. I enjoy it and it pays the bills.

I think often work starts fine and then sours often due to poor management/leadership. I was a teacher and loved it until I didn't, so I got out, because who wants a sour grumpy teacher? Yet many do keep doing it forever. When you have enough work history and not the best luck with great companies treating you well (I know there are some out there but not a majority in this country), you start to distance from the work/employer and see it as a necessity but really lose the belief it can be very fulfilling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Working is awful and takes away from life. Most jobs are absolutely meaningless and thankless, whether high or low pay, compared to spending time with loved ones, in nature or creating (bonus for those who create as their work!) Wohms who judge sahms are lame. I know many of both, I am now a wohm...I guarantee you it is not a mark of superiority, competence or worth. This country generally exploits workers and there is no reward for hard work other than pay. Good for the two moms who drove their kids around doing a mediocre job and lasted a year! That is a victory over capitalist shit.

You sound fun.

DP. More fun than someone who lives for work, at least.

I love when sahms say this shit. It's not like your husband - who supports you, your children, your household, your family - isn't tied to work. It's not like you are both off doing some volunteer work or starting charities, he is still working and making someone else rich.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Working is awful and takes away from life. Most jobs are absolutely meaningless and thankless, whether high or low pay, compared to spending time with loved ones, in nature or creating (bonus for those who create as their work!) Wohms who judge sahms are lame. I know many of both, I am now a wohm...I guarantee you it is not a mark of superiority, competence or worth. This country generally exploits workers and there is no reward for hard work other than pay. Good for the two moms who drove their kids around doing a mediocre job and lasted a year! That is a victory over capitalist shit.

You sound fun.

DP. More fun than someone who lives for work, at least.

I love when sahms say this shit. It's not like your husband - who supports you, your children, your household, your family - isn't tied to work. It's not like you are both off doing some volunteer work or starting charities, he is still working and making someone else rich.

Yep - sorry SAHMs who feel so superior to the rat race. Your lifestyle is still funded by corporate America.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Working is awful and takes away from life. Most jobs are absolutely meaningless and thankless, whether high or low pay, compared to spending time with loved ones, in nature or creating (bonus for those who create as their work!) Wohms who judge sahms are lame. I know many of both, I am now a wohm...I guarantee you it is not a mark of superiority, competence or worth. This country generally exploits workers and there is no reward for hard work other than pay. Good for the two moms who drove their kids around doing a mediocre job and lasted a year! That is a victory over capitalist shit.

You sound fun.

DP. More fun than someone who lives for work, at least.

Agreed, but that is a straw man. PP said "Working is awful and takes away from life." There is a whole lot of ground in between working-is-awful and working-is-everything. I don't want to hang out with either of those people. There are lots of people in a reasonable place in the middle. That is, most people have to work or be kept by someone else who is working so it is a necessity, and lots of jobs are interesting and rewarding, and a nice balance against life because lots of "life" is not actually quality time. It is making meals, changing diapers, doing the laundry, and grocery shopping. I'll take my job over any of those, and I have plenty of time left over to be with friends and family. My work is not everything but it is not awful either. I enjoy it and it pays the bills.

I think often work starts fine and then sours often due to poor management/leadership. I was a teacher and loved it until I didn't, so I got out, because who wants a sour grumpy teacher? Yet many do keep doing it forever. When you have enough work history and not the best luck with great companies treating you well (I know there are some out there but not a majority in this country), you start to distance from the work/employer and see it as a necessity but really lose the belief it can be very fulfilling.

Yes, this is the necessity part. It's all well and good for people (like me) who like their job to talk about them being fulfilling but lots of jobs aren't and the vast majority of people can't just walk away from an unfulfilling job, and plenty of jobs suck. And, realistically, most jobs (including mine) suck some of the time. There are always going to be tedious tasks, and difficult personalities, but the same is true of the life of a SAHM, particularly in the early years. I just don't relate to the idea of wanting a life that is solely leisure. I can relate to wanting more balance, but not working is not a "victory over capitalist shit," it is just shifting the burden to someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Working is awful and takes away from life. Most jobs are absolutely meaningless and thankless, whether high or low pay, compared to spending time with loved ones, in nature or creating (bonus for those who create as their work!) Wohms who judge sahms are lame. I know many of both, I am now a wohm...I guarantee you it is not a mark of superiority, competence or worth. This country generally exploits workers and there is no reward for hard work other than pay. Good for the two moms who drove their kids around doing a mediocre job and lasted a year! That is a victory over capitalist shit.

You sound fun.

DP. More fun than someone who lives for work, at least.

I love when sahms say this shit. It's not like your husband - who supports you, your children, your household, your family - isn't tied to work. It's not like you are both off doing some volunteer work or starting charities, he is still working and making someone else rich.

Yep - sorry SAHMs who feel so superior to the rat race. Your lifestyle is still funded by corporate America.

Conversely, sorry to the WOHM who feel so independent. Your lifestyle is still dependent on someone else giving you a paycheck, and that can go away at any time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Working is awful and takes away from life. Most jobs are absolutely meaningless and thankless, whether high or low pay, compared to spending time with loved ones, in nature or creating (bonus for those who create as their work!) Wohms who judge sahms are lame. I know many of both, I am now a wohm...I guarantee you it is not a mark of superiority, competence or worth. This country generally exploits workers and there is no reward for hard work other than pay. Good for the two moms who drove their kids around doing a mediocre job and lasted a year! That is a victory over capitalist shit.

You sound fun.

DP. More fun than someone who lives for work, at least.

Agreed, but that is a straw man. PP said "Working is awful and takes away from life." There is a whole lot of ground in between working-is-awful and working-is-everything. I don't want to hang out with either of those people. There are lots of people in a reasonable place in the middle. That is, most people have to work or be kept by someone else who is working so it is a necessity, and lots of jobs are interesting and rewarding, and a nice balance against life because lots of "life" is not actually quality time. It is making meals, changing diapers, doing the laundry, and grocery shopping. I'll take my job over any of those, and I have plenty of time left over to be with friends and family. My work is not everything but it is not awful either. I enjoy it and it pays the bills.

I think often work starts fine and then sours often due to poor management/leadership. I was a teacher and loved it until I didn't, so I got out, because who wants a sour grumpy teacher? Yet many do keep doing it forever. When you have enough work history and not the best luck with great companies treating you well (I know there are some out there but not a majority in this country), you start to distance from the work/employer and see it as a necessity but really lose the belief it can be very fulfilling.

Yes, this is the necessity part. It's all well and good for people (like me) who like their job to talk about them being fulfilling but lots of jobs aren't and the vast majority of people can't just walk away from an unfulfilling job, and plenty of jobs suck. And, realistically, most jobs (including mine) suck some of the time. There are always going to be tedious tasks, and difficult personalities, but the same is true of the life of a SAHM, particularly in the early years. I just don't relate to the idea of wanting a life that is solely leisure. I can relate to wanting more balance, but not working is not a "victory over capitalist shit," it is just shifting the burden to someone else.

Not really if a spouse earns more. If the spouse works or not the balance does not shift. I work but if I didn’t it would not have a big impact, we’d be ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Working is awful and takes away from life. Most jobs are absolutely meaningless and thankless, whether high or low pay, compared to spending time with loved ones, in nature or creating (bonus for those who create as their work!) Wohms who judge sahms are lame. I know many of both, I am now a wohm...I guarantee you it is not a mark of superiority, competence or worth. This country generally exploits workers and there is no reward for hard work other than pay. Good for the two moms who drove their kids around doing a mediocre job and lasted a year! That is a victory over capitalist shit.

You sound fun.

DP. More fun than someone who lives for work, at least.

I love when sahms say this shit. It's not like your husband - who supports you, your children, your household, your family - isn't tied to work. It's not like you are both off doing some volunteer work or starting charities, he is still working and making someone else rich.

Yep - sorry SAHMs who feel so superior to the rat race. Your lifestyle is still funded by corporate America.

Conversely, sorry to the WOHM who feel so independent. Your lifestyle is still dependent on someone else giving you a paycheck, and that can go away at any time.

Isn't the SAHM just as dependent on a precarious paycheck that could go away at any time? The WOHM is no more or less secure than the DH that the SAHM depends on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Working is awful and takes away from life. Most jobs are absolutely meaningless and thankless, whether high or low pay, compared to spending time with loved ones, in nature or creating (bonus for those who create as their work!) Wohms who judge sahms are lame. I know many of both, I am now a wohm...I guarantee you it is not a mark of superiority, competence or worth. This country generally exploits workers and there is no reward for hard work other than pay. Good for the two moms who drove their kids around doing a mediocre job and lasted a year! That is a victory over capitalist shit.

You sound fun.

DP. More fun than someone who lives for work, at least.

I love when sahms say this shit. It's not like your husband - who supports you, your children, your household, your family - isn't tied to work. It's not like you are both off doing some volunteer work or starting charities, he is still working and making someone else rich.

Yep - sorry SAHMs who feel so superior to the rat race. Your lifestyle is still funded by corporate America.

Conversely, sorry to the WOHM who feel so independent. Your lifestyle is still dependent on someone else giving you a paycheck, and that can go away at any time.

I can find a new job a lot more easily than you can find a new husband to support you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Working is awful and takes away from life. Most jobs are absolutely meaningless and thankless, whether high or low pay, compared to spending time with loved ones, in nature or creating (bonus for those who create as their work!) Wohms who judge sahms are lame. I know many of both, I am now a wohm...I guarantee you it is not a mark of superiority, competence or worth. This country generally exploits workers and there is no reward for hard work other than pay. Good for the two moms who drove their kids around doing a mediocre job and lasted a year! That is a victory over capitalist shit.

You sound fun.

DP. More fun than someone who lives for work, at least.

Agreed, but that is a straw man. PP said "Working is awful and takes away from life." There is a whole lot of ground in between working-is-awful and working-is-everything. I don't want to hang out with either of those people. There are lots of people in a reasonable place in the middle. That is, most people have to work or be kept by someone else who is working so it is a necessity, and lots of jobs are interesting and rewarding, and a nice balance against life because lots of "life" is not actually quality time. It is making meals, changing diapers, doing the laundry, and grocery shopping. I'll take my job over any of those, and I have plenty of time left over to be with friends and family. My work is not everything but it is not awful either. I enjoy it and it pays the bills.

I think often work starts fine and then sours often due to poor management/leadership. I was a teacher and loved it until I didn't, so I got out, because who wants a sour grumpy teacher? Yet many do keep doing it forever. When you have enough work history and not the best luck with great companies treating you well (I know there are some out there but not a majority in this country), you start to distance from the work/employer and see it as a necessity but really lose the belief it can be very fulfilling.

Yes, this is the necessity part. It's all well and good for people (like me) who like their job to talk about them being fulfilling but lots of jobs aren't and the vast majority of people can't just walk away from an unfulfilling job, and plenty of jobs suck. And, realistically, most jobs (including mine) suck some of the time. There are always going to be tedious tasks, and difficult personalities, but the same is true of the life of a SAHM, particularly in the early years. I just don't relate to the idea of wanting a life that is solely leisure. I can relate to wanting more balance, but not working is not a "victory over capitalist shit," it is just shifting the burden to someone else.

Not really if a spouse earns more. If the spouse works or not the balance does not shift. I work but if I didn’t it would not have a big impact, we’d be ok.

To be clear, the point is not whether you'll be ok but rather that it is hypocrisy to declare victory over capitalism when a SAHM quits a job. The money is coming from somewhere. Either you have inherited wealth, are living off of your own or someone else's wages, or are on government assistance. If you have decided to go off the grid and live off the land, bravo, but "victory over capitalist shit" in this context deserves a hearty eye roll.