Heartburn from being full pay

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. She ED'd because we can pay. Just feeling some buyers remorse.

You can afford it. What’s the problem? Imagine if your kid got in somewhere you couldn’t afford.

Exactly. Very little sympathy from me

Wow. Why so mean?

Because when I got into a great school, my parents COULDNT pay and I couldn’t go. You can pay. Yours can go. Count your freaking blessings. Your post is extremely off-putting.

Stop. You COULD have gone with loans but chose not to. Which was probably a good idea! But don't begrudge OP.

A student can only take ~$5.5K/year (total of 27K over 4 years) for undergrad loans. They CANNOT get more loans without a parent co-signing. My parents couldn't afford to take out loans. They told us "we are paying $X per year for you and your siblings for college. That is all we can afford the rest is on you to figure out". So we chose schools that we got merit/FA at that brought it into what we could afford with the max of student loans. And we worked our asses off in summer, all breaks and PT during the school year to have enough to pay all the bills for college. If we didn't we were not going back.

THIS. RIGHT. HERE.

This is today. Assuming you went to school more than 15 years ago, student loans were available for you to take in your name. Would have been dumb but there it is

PLUS loans were 12%. I paid them off but you were limited to how much you could get.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. She ED'd because we can pay. Just feeling some buyers remorse.

You can afford it. What’s the problem? Imagine if your kid got in somewhere you couldn’t afford.

Exactly. Very little sympathy from me

Wow. Why so mean?

Because when I got into a great school, my parents COULDNT pay and I couldn’t go. You can pay. Yours can go. Count your freaking blessings. Your post is extremely off-putting.

Stop. You COULD have gone with loans but chose not to. Which was probably a good idea! But don't begrudge OP.

A student can only take ~$5.5K/year (total of 27K over 4 years) for undergrad loans. They CANNOT get more loans without a parent co-signing. My parents couldn't afford to take out loans. They told us "we are paying $X per year for you and your siblings for college. That is all we can afford the rest is on you to figure out". So we chose schools that we got merit/FA at that brought it into what we could afford with the max of student loans. And we worked our asses off in summer, all breaks and PT during the school year to have enough to pay all the bills for college. If we didn't we were not going back.

THIS. RIGHT. HERE.

This is today. Assuming you went to school more than 15 years ago, student loans were available for you to take in your name. Would have been dumb but there it is

DP: You are simply wrong. Even with the loans maxed as a part of the financial aid package in the 80s, my family could not afford CMU. So I didn't get to go there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. She ED'd because we can pay. Just feeling some buyers remorse.

You can afford it. What’s the problem? Imagine if your kid got in somewhere you couldn’t afford.

Exactly. Very little sympathy from me

Wow. Why so mean?

Because when I got into a great school, my parents COULDNT pay and I couldn’t go. You can pay. Yours can go. Count your freaking blessings. Your post is extremely off-putting.

Stop. You COULD have gone with loans but chose not to. Which was probably a good idea! But don't begrudge OP.

A student can only take ~$5.5K/year (total of 27K over 4 years) for undergrad loans. They CANNOT get more loans without a parent co-signing. My parents couldn't afford to take out loans. They told us "we are paying $X per year for you and your siblings for college. That is all we can afford the rest is on you to figure out". So we chose schools that we got merit/FA at that brought it into what we could afford with the max of student loans. And we worked our asses off in summer, all breaks and PT during the school year to have enough to pay all the bills for college. If we didn't we were not going back.

THIS. RIGHT. HERE.

This is today. Assuming you went to school more than 15 years ago, student loans were available for you to take in your name. Would have been dumb but there it is

30+ years ago when I went to school, the available federal loans were $2650 per year for undergrad (or something very close to that). That was all you could take without parental signing. It was never possible for students to take extra loans without adult signatures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When starting at her SLAC, DD and her friends (all kids of color) said there was group hostility directed at "full pay" students, including group chants and taunts etc. They weren't specifically identified as full-pay, and probably no-one knew, but they were shaken up and subsequently went to great trouble to conceal this. They went to great trouble to conceal this, and some started to avoid students who weren't from upscale towns or private schools, or who "seemed like scholarship students." All these kids are super liberal and progressive, but that "full pay" had a stigma and they wanted to go incognito.

That is shameful. Guarantee most of the scholarship kids were going to that school with the hopes that maybe someday their kids would be "full pay."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. She ED'd because we can pay. Just feeling some buyers remorse.

You can afford it. What’s the problem? Imagine if your kid got in somewhere you couldn’t afford.

Exactly. Very little sympathy from me

Wow. Why so mean?

Because when I got into a great school, my parents COULDNT pay and I couldn’t go. You can pay. Yours can go. Count your freaking blessings. Your post is extremely off-putting.

Stop. You COULD have gone with loans but chose not to. Which was probably a good idea! But don't begrudge OP.

A student can only take ~$5.5K/year (total of 27K over 4 years) for undergrad loans. They CANNOT get more loans without a parent co-signing. My parents couldn't afford to take out loans. They told us "we are paying $X per year for you and your siblings for college. That is all we can afford the rest is on you to figure out". So we chose schools that we got merit/FA at that brought it into what we could afford with the max of student loans. And we worked our asses off in summer, all breaks and PT during the school year to have enough to pay all the bills for college. If we didn't we were not going back.

Same. But as a kid you’d only in-state public and not even applying anywhere else, working butt off- I wanted to let my high stats kid have opportunities I did not have. I’ll pay for certain Ivies. Our state schools though (he’s in) are too good to justify other privates though.

Well I actually got enough FA to go to a T10-15 school. So it was actually similarly priced as in-state options. And my in-state schools were not good for the 2 (extremely different) majors I wanted to get. So I applied to privates and several OOS schools and pursued merit awards (top for academics and music) So I took my $2.65K in student loans yearly and worked my ass off to come up with another $5-6K/year to pay what my parents could not pay (they couldn't pay much) and a bit more for any extra expenses (I had to fly to school). But this was when min wage was $4.25/hr.
We all want our kids to have "better than what we had". Mine do, but we can easily afford it. If we couldn't, there is NO school worth going into massive debt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are full pay. DS accepted with amazing merit to several schools. He chose to go to a top-rated SLAC sans merit. BEST choice ever. He is having an amazing experience and absolutely loves it. Unlike many of his high school friends, he has access to virtually unlimited resources (courses, professors, career services, clubs, internship stipends, housing etc.). Once you see your child thriving, you will not second guess this decision.

On to the matter of class divide: DS is best friends with a QuestBridge Scholar. Although many of his friends are wealthy, not all are. There is absolutely no division, stigma or animosity from either side. I'm calling BS on that.

the fact that the MOTHER of the friend of the Questbridge kid knows he's a Questbridge is gross. This is very "I'm not a racist! my son's best man is Black!" vibes

Nonsense. DP, but I know my DS's good friend is a Questbridge Scholar because he TOLD ME himself, like 5 minutes after he met me when I went to visit my DS, because he was very proud of this. That scholarship is insanely competitive and it is not something kids hide -- they are proud of it and rightfully so. Also, there are plenty of White QB scholars -- check your own implicit bias.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. She ED'd because we can pay. Just feeling some buyers remorse.

You can afford it. What’s the problem? Imagine if your kid got in somewhere you couldn’t afford.

Exactly. Very little sympathy from me

Wow. Why so mean?

Because when I got into a great school, my parents COULDNT pay and I couldn’t go. You can pay. Yours can go. Count your freaking blessings. Your post is extremely off-putting.

Stop. You COULD have gone with loans but chose not to. Which was probably a good idea! But don't begrudge OP.

A student can only take ~$5.5K/year (total of 27K over 4 years) for undergrad loans. They CANNOT get more loans without a parent co-signing. My parents couldn't afford to take out loans. They told us "we are paying $X per year for you and your siblings for college. That is all we can afford the rest is on you to figure out". So we chose schools that we got merit/FA at that brought it into what we could afford with the max of student loans. And we worked our asses off in summer, all breaks and PT during the school year to have enough to pay all the bills for college. If we didn't we were not going back.

THIS. RIGHT. HERE.

This is today. Assuming you went to school more than 15 years ago, student loans were available for you to take in your name. Would have been dumb but there it is

NO THEY WEREN’T. My parents didn’t qualify for co-sign, wouldn’t co-sign, and wouldn’t even sign anything or give their tax documents, so just quit it already.

The student loan crisis of today isn’t bcs it’s in their parents name

yes it is. It's either because their parents took it out and they agreed to "assume" it. Or it's for grad school. There is no other way an undergrad can have more than $27K in student loans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are full pay. DS accepted with amazing merit to several schools. He chose to go to a top-rated SLAC sans merit. BEST choice ever. He is having an amazing experience and absolutely loves it. Unlike many of his high school friends, he has access to virtually unlimited resources (courses, professors, career services, clubs, internship stipends, housing etc.). Once you see your child thriving, you will not second guess this decision.

On to the matter of class divide: DS is best friends with a QuestBridge Scholar. Although many of his friends are wealthy, not all are. There is absolutely no division, stigma or animosity from either side. I'm calling BS on that.

the fact that the MOTHER of the friend of the Questbridge kid knows he's a Questbridge is gross. This is very "I'm not a racist! my son's best man is Black!" vibes

Nonsense. DP, but I know my DS's good friend is a Questbridge Scholar because he TOLD ME himself, like 5 minutes after he met me when I went to visit my DS, because he was very proud of this. That scholarship is insanely competitive and it is not something kids hide -- they are proud of it and rightfully so. Also, there are plenty of White QB scholars -- check your own implicit bias.

AMEN! One bitter, insecure individual should not change the fact that this is a wonderful accomplishment to be proud of. DS' high school announces all QB and Posse Scholars to the entire school and publishes in the graduation program.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. She ED'd because we can pay. Just feeling some buyers remorse.

You can afford it. What’s the problem? Imagine if your kid got in somewhere you couldn’t afford.

Exactly. Very little sympathy from me

Wow. Why so mean?

Because when I got into a great school, my parents COULDNT pay and I couldn’t go. You can pay. Yours can go. Count your freaking blessings. Your post is extremely off-putting.

Stop. You COULD have gone with loans but chose not to. Which was probably a good idea! But don't begrudge OP.

A student can only take ~$5.5K/year (total of 27K over 4 years) for undergrad loans. They CANNOT get more loans without a parent co-signing. My parents couldn't afford to take out loans. They told us "we are paying $X per year for you and your siblings for college. That is all we can afford the rest is on you to figure out". So we chose schools that we got merit/FA at that brought it into what we could afford with the max of student loans. And we worked our asses off in summer, all breaks and PT during the school year to have enough to pay all the bills for college. If we didn't we were not going back.

THIS. RIGHT. HERE.

This is today. Assuming you went to school more than 15 years ago, student loans were available for you to take in your name. Would have been dumb but there it is

30+ years ago when I went to school, the available federal loans were $2650 per year for undergrad (or something very close to that). That was all you could take without parental signing. It was never possible for students to take extra loans without adult signatures.

College was also 12k w housing. RA and a summer job plus that that 2650 paid for my Ivy League degree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are full pay. DS accepted with amazing merit to several schools. He chose to go to a top-rated SLAC sans merit. BEST choice ever. He is having an amazing experience and absolutely loves it. Unlike many of his high school friends, he has access to virtually unlimited resources (courses, professors, career services, clubs, internship stipends, housing etc.). Once you see your child thriving, you will not second guess this decision.

On to the matter of class divide: DS is best friends with a QuestBridge Scholar. Although many of his friends are wealthy, not all are. There is absolutely no division, stigma or animosity from either side. I'm calling BS on that.

the fact that the MOTHER of the friend of the Questbridge kid knows he's a Questbridge is gross. This is very "I'm not a racist! my son's best man is Black!" vibes

Nonsense. DP, but I know my DS's good friend is a Questbridge Scholar because he TOLD ME himself, like 5 minutes after he met me when I went to visit my DS, because he was very proud of this. That scholarship is insanely competitive and it is not something kids hide -- they are proud of it and rightfully so. Also, there are plenty of White QB scholars -- check your own implicit bias.

Nobody said the kid wasn’t white. Just poor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are full pay. DS accepted with amazing merit to several schools. He chose to go to a top-rated SLAC sans merit. BEST choice ever. He is having an amazing experience and absolutely loves it. Unlike many of his high school friends, he has access to virtually unlimited resources (courses, professors, career services, clubs, internship stipends, housing etc.). Once you see your child thriving, you will not second guess this decision.

On to the matter of class divide: DS is best friends with a QuestBridge Scholar. Although many of his friends are wealthy, not all are. There is absolutely no division, stigma or animosity from either side. I'm calling BS on that.

the fact that the MOTHER of the friend of the Questbridge kid knows he's a Questbridge is gross. This is very "I'm not a racist! my son's best man is Black!" vibes

Nonsense. DP, but I know my DS's good friend is a Questbridge Scholar because he TOLD ME himself, like 5 minutes after he met me when I went to visit my DS, because he was very proud of this. That scholarship is insanely competitive and it is not something kids hide -- they are proud of it and rightfully so. Also, there are plenty of White QB scholars -- check your own implicit bias.

AMEN! One bitter, insecure individual should not change the fact that this is a wonderful accomplishment to be proud of. DS' high school announces all QB and Posse Scholars to the entire school and publishes in the graduation program.

I can understand a QB student being sensitive about it in a school with a big wealth divide.

Posse scholars, FWIW, aren't necessarily poor, just URM. The only Posse scholar I know is biracial (black, white) with wealthy parents (dad in big law). I definitely thought that was a bit odd.

[Anonymous]

I have a little bit 'heartburn, but I am accepting it. We can do full pay. I am not sure if the ROI is worth it - I actually know it is not. But a measurable ROI is not the whole reason we are sending our kids to college. There is also the abstract - new experiences, people, environment, perspectives, etc. My kids went/go to a meh high school in the middle of the country and I am willing to pay 'extra' for them to see more of the world, literally and figuratively.

[Anonymous]

Questbridge is a badge of honor for a lot of kids, as it should be! It's an impressive feat.

[Anonymous]

I could have written OP’s post. Yes same exact boat. We don’t feel buyer’s remorse because we know the school will be good for her and her future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I could have written OP’s post. Yes same exact boat. We don’t feel buyer’s remorse because we know the school will be good for her and her future.

Same, +1. Don’t regret at all.