WWYD - 13 yr old just binged on an entire bag of Oreo cookies

[Anonymous]

If you punish him, he'll likely start getting them without you knowing (if he isn't already).

[Anonymous]

I would have a conversation with myself in the mirror not with the kid.

[Anonymous]

Consequence - why a consequence?

You realize your rule for sugar as a family cannot extend once your kid is out of the house, yes?

I say this as kindly as possible: I think you need to unclench.

[Anonymous]

Your kid is a teen. You have no right to control his food. Unless he’s diabetic or has some other medical issue, a bag of Oreos isn’t going to do much beyond give him a stomach ache. Let it go, and RELAX.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One surgery treat a week??? This can’t be real.

You created this OP - you are forcing your kid to follow a restrictive diet, I’m not surprised AT ALL that he binges when he gets the chance.

Yep. Stop restricting the food OP, or he will continue to binge every chance he gets.

It's really telling he used his own money to buy Oreos.

Lol. Most kids use money for sweets regardless of what someone buys at home. Its more about the child and genes and about the age. Age 13 is an age of rapid growth with puberty. That is likely why he ate all of them. He's just hungry.

OP. I understand where you are coming from. Sugar is the same as alcohol in the body. It's a dopamine release. The people before who said this is going to happen are right. This is an age where kids juat eat a lot and their body needs more dopamine with puberty. It's his money and all you can do is point out how it's not healthy and will limit what he can do with his body in the future. Find other ways he will get a dopamine release from and encourage those but this isn't something you punish. Just something you mention the downsides to.

[Anonymous]

I have 12 and 14yo growing boys who are skinny athletes. They are both not Oreo lovers but they crush bags of chips and other junk food regularly. Mh boys also regularly eat two dinners. We willl eat around 6 as a family. They get hungry again at 9 and fix themselves another meal.

We eat dessert regularly but if you prevented it, I could see a kid binge Oreos.

[Anonymous]

This thread is a very interesting life lesson for parents.

You can't control everything your kids do.

If you teach "moderation" and just never give them access to junk food, they might just binge on it when they are older and get access to their own money.

If you buy lots of sugary snacks, they might become used to them and seek them out constantly.

The issue is that our food system is clogged with horrible food choices that are quite attractive to human brains. Not the choice to buy all the snacks or none of the snacks.

This issue is a perfect allegory for tons of threads! Screen time! Nicotine! Drugs!

We are all doing our best, but we live in a society with so many ways to become addicted to something. And maybe THAT is the problem.

[Anonymous]

My parents restricted some junk food. They did not really restrict it, but they never bought it (except for ice cream). I remember loving going to my aunt or grandma’s house and opening their fridge or pantry. It was always full of snacks.

I am think and I think I have a good relationship with food. As an adult, on occasion I have eaten too much ice cream or cookies, but then might skip dinner. I am thin (not naturally so) and I am glad my parents did what they did and made sure I was never over weight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are a family that has sugary dessert only once a week, the rest of the time we end dinner with fresh fruit. We allow occasional treats but we're not really into a lot of junk food.

Our 13 yr old DS bought a bag of Oreos the other day with his own allowance money on the understanding that he could have a couple as an occasional treat. He bought the Oreos on Friday afternoon. They were completely gone by Saturday night.

He knows that we would not be OK with him doing this. When we found out he said he just couldn't control himself around the Oreos.

What's an appropriate consequence for this behavior? We've never known him to binge but this is also the first time we've let him buy a full-size snack bag with his own money.

He's had some issues lying around sneaking video game time but he's generally an honest kid. Clearly cannot be trusted around video games and Oreos tho.

Wow you are a crappy parent

He did this because you suck at parenting

controlling garbage

Your poor kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would strongly suggest you revisit the food rules of your house. Forbidden foods become sought-after foods. We don’t have food rules here and my ravenous teenager eats a pretty good range of foods, which includes junk food, fruits, vegetables, and lots of other things.

Anyway, my suggestion is that there is no consequence. Maybe he has a stomach ache. Maybe he experiences no effect. The effect of binging a package of Oreos or Girl Scout cookies or…a bag of grapes is minimal, tbh. Focus on teaching life long skills and don’t make foods off limits.

Also, if he’s sneaking video games, revisit those rules, too…

A mental health counselor parent

Let me understand. You're suggesting that parents buy Oreos, Cheetos, and other kinds of junk food in order that these foods not become forbidden foods?

And how would you revisit the rules around video games? Just let him play an unlimited amount?

This sounds like non-parenting to me.

Not that poster however hell yes

Nothing wrong with some treats teach moderation not be a controlling pos which is what is happening here

OP controls everything in their lives not just Oreos that’s why he ate the whole bag

Parents who do this create kids who can no5 think fir themselves and a host of other psych problems

Her kid are a whole bag he’s 13 and growing he’s hungry and probably not just for oreaisv

[Anonymous]

I think a lot of mothers here have no concept of how hungry teenage boys can get. Please talk to the men you know to get an idea of how much food they really need. They are not children anymore. Expect that they will require more than 3 meals a day. There should be no limitations unless you know there is an existing medical issue that must be treated with diet. Provide healthy foods including a daily sweet such as cookies, ice cream, muffins, etc. Expect that he will buy himself treats regularly, just like we did when we were teenagers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents restricted some junk food. They did not really restrict it, but they never bought it (except for ice cream). I remember loving going to my aunt or grandma’s house and opening their fridge or pantry. It was always full of snacks.

I am think and I think I have a good relationship with food. As an adult, on occasion I have eaten too much ice cream or cookies, but then might skip dinner. I am thin (not naturally so) and I am glad my parents did what they did and made sure I was never over weight.

But you are a girl (presumably). Boys and men need significantly more calories during adolescence. It's ridiculous to expect them to stay little girl skinny like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Let me be clear that we do not restrict healthy food. He gets to eat as much as he wants of non-junk food. Yes, he gets enough proteins, fats, and carbs.

My mind is blown that intelligent, well-educated parents think it's okay to let their kids eat unrestricted quantities of unhealthy foods. It's really OK if your kid wants to have six pints of Ben & Jerry's at a sitting on a regular basis?

As I said, we allow small amounts of junk food as occasional treats but I cannot fathom allowing kids of any age to free-feed on food that crowds out healthy calories.

Sugary junk food is made to be addictive and kids, especially teens, do not have the forebrain to fight the addiction.

Think about inserting other kinds of addictive substances -- vaping, meth, alcohol instead of junk food. Of course forbidding something cannot make it attractive. Does that mean we should allow free access to vapes, drugs, and alcohol?

What a total dereliction of parental duty.

Nope, you’re the dereliction of parental duty. Every research study on feeding suggests that allowing unrestricted access results in moderation. Imposing moderation results in sneaking and binging. Full stop.

Yes, I parent. My teen has a video game system. He can play on the weekends if he does not have homework. He can play on a weeknight if he doesn’t have practice or homework (this is a very tiny amount of time) - I don’t otherwise limit it. If he plays when he has homework or a test, and he fails the test, that is a natural consequence and the next natural consequences are: no access to tv or games, more studying, worse grades. It basically doesn’t happen. He takes responsibility.

If your kid is sneaking video games and feeling ashamed for eating cookies, you’re setting yourself up for more secrecy and barriers.

Vaping, meth, etc - no effing way do I allow that. But we have very open talks, my kid is a committed athlete so has zero interest, and we also have narcan here so that IF one of his friends OR HIM makes a mistake, it is not deadly.

I cannot see how Oreos are a gateway to meth.

I love how your first paragraph is immediately contradicted by your second paragraph.

NP
There is no contradiction there.

[Anonymous]

Does OP's son never leave the house without her?

I assume not. Why are we not discussing this? There is a lot of weird going on in her house.

[Anonymous]

OP, how tall is the boy's father? Imagine how many daily calories are required to reach that height. Your son will spend the next 2-4 years growing rapidly and it's going to take a LOT of food. Seriously, provide free access to healthy foods for growing boys. Lots of meat and carbs. Let him treat himself to junk if he wants it. This is normal behavior for American teens.