Something feels off wwyd?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t let my kids go to bad neighborhoods either. Flame away.

OP didn’t say it was a bad neighborhood. She could not point to a single thing that was wrong. She just apparently feels a sense of doom when she realizes her child has been near poor people.

I don’t need to literally see someone get shot to know when I’m in a bad neighborhood. Bars on the windows are a tell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My very first thought

long ago I had a friend that said she only let her daughter go to rich people's houses because rich people aren't pedophiles.

Be honest. Just say you are uncomfortable with your daughter going to someone's house. I personally never let my children go to other people's houses. I know what goes on in my house. I don't know what goes on at anyone else's house.

That is abnormal. If everyone felt like you, there wouldn't be any playdates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t let my kids go to bad neighborhoods either. Flame away.

OP didn’t say it was a bad neighborhood. She could not point to a single thing that was wrong. She just apparently feels a sense of doom when she realizes her child has been near poor people.

I don’t need to literally see someone get shot to know when I’m in a bad neighborhood. Bars on the windows are a tell.

Hey, great. Again, OP could not point to anything at all that actually indicated the neighborhood was unsafe.

[Anonymous]

Are there guns in the house? Who else lives there beside the mother and friend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t let my kids go to bad neighborhoods either. Flame away.

OP didn’t say it was a bad neighborhood. She could not point to a single thing that was wrong. She just apparently feels a sense of doom when she realizes her child has been near poor people.

I don’t need to literally see someone get shot to know when I’m in a bad neighborhood. Bars on the windows are a tell.

Lol. In NYC window guards are required for all apartments with a child under 10. Even on Park Avenue, princess. It’s so the kiddies don’t fall out, not so the baddies can’t get in.

[Anonymous]

I never left my kid in someone else's house because I just do not trust people until I knew them very well and had a very good opinion of their character, home environment and parenting skills.

Instead, I made my home kid-friendly with a huge space for kids to play and hang out. I served snacks and hot meals, I welcomed the parent with coffee and cookies, I picked up the neighborhood kids from the bus-stop if their parents requested, and I made sure that the kids did their homework at my house. I did all of this because I valued the socialization for my children. My home remains the place that the friends of my kids congregate. Even now, that they are in college.

I know that many people used me for free baby-sitting but the dysfunction in the parents was also reflected in the behavior of the children. Having the chance to observe the behavior of kids and the parents gave me a very good idea of who they were. For me, the SES did not matter. Parents who were caring remained so regardless of their finances.

[Anonymous]

I do not believe in playdate without parents present. I am not taking the responsibility of looking after someone else's kids.

When my kids were little, the moms of their friends would hang out at my home and everyone kept a watchful eye.

I used to give a time for the playdate to end, at the beginning of the playdate. Having an end time meant that the kids made the most of the playdate. Also, I was not a big fan of one-on-one playdate. Any and all could join the playtime at my house.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I can’t believe how this has taken off. I wish I had been more clear in my OP.

The neighborhood is geographically in a very transitional area, I think is the best way to describe it. About a mile from a REALLY high crime area (shootings, stabbings) but then also a mile away from an area will million dollar homes.

FWIW, we are the same race as the family. We are also “DC poor” in our 1000sf home on the “poor” side of town. I’m sure our house has been judged by those wealthier than us.

I said “benefit of the doubt” because I wasn’t sure if the neighborhood would be more like the crime area, or more like the rich area. Our girls go to a magnet school so very diverse.

There weren’t overt signs of crime, but it was a beautiful early spring day and the neighborhood was just so shut up and silent, not a soul outside, no movement, just eerie. I thought, on a day like this why isn’t there a soul outside? It was a gorgeous day. It just felt ominous. Were people not outside for reasons I didn’t know about?

I truly apologize if my post came across as racist or classist as that wasn’t my intent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I can’t believe how this has taken off. I wish I had been more clear in my OP.

The neighborhood is geographically in a very transitional area, I think is the best way to describe it. About a mile from a REALLY high crime area (shootings, stabbings) but then also a mile away from an area will million dollar homes.

FWIW, we are the same race as the family. We are also “DC poor” in our 1000sf home on the “poor” side of town. I’m sure our house has been judged by those wealthier than us.

I said “benefit of the doubt” because I wasn’t sure if the neighborhood would be more like the crime area, or more like the rich area. Our girls go to a magnet school so very diverse.

There weren’t overt signs of crime, but it was a beautiful early spring day and the neighborhood was just so shut up and silent, not a soul outside, no movement, just eerie. I thought, on a day like this why isn’t there a soul outside? It was a gorgeous day. It just felt ominous. Were people not outside for reasons I didn’t know about?

I truly apologize if my post came across as racist or classist as that wasn’t my intent.

This seems like you’re trying to revise the way your original post came across bc:

1. You mentioned nothing about how the thing that threw you off was the fact that it was a beautiful day but not one was outside and that felt ominous to you.

2. I live in an expensive area in the McLean/Vienna area. We definitely have tons of times no one is seen outside. So? The only time this would be ominous is in a scene from The Last of Us.

3. Your words were: Later at pickup, I got weird really vibes. Not the best neighborhood but I gave them the benefit of the doubt. I can’t explain it, but my intuition senses something off and I just felt the need to flee. I’ve never experienced anything like it before. Without prompt, DD later told me that the friend told her she never has friends over and DD was the first school friend to ever come over.

Clearly this isn’t about how no one was seen outside on a beautiful day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I can’t believe how this has taken off. I wish I had been more clear in my OP.

The neighborhood is geographically in a very transitional area, I think is the best way to describe it. About a mile from a REALLY high crime area (shootings, stabbings) but then also a mile away from an area will million dollar homes.

FWIW, we are the same race as the family. We are also “DC poor” in our 1000sf home on the “poor” side of town. I’m sure our house has been judged by those wealthier than us.

I said “benefit of the doubt” because I wasn’t sure if the neighborhood would be more like the crime area, or more like the rich area. Our girls go to a magnet school so very diverse.

There weren’t overt signs of crime, but it was a beautiful early spring day and the neighborhood was just so shut up and silent, not a soul outside, no movement, just eerie. I thought, on a day like this why isn’t there a soul outside? It was a gorgeous day. It just felt ominous. Were people not outside for reasons I didn’t know about?

I truly apologize if my post came across as racist or classist as that wasn’t my intent.

This seems like you’re trying to revise the way your original post came across bc:

1. You mentioned nothing about how the thing that threw you off was the fact that it was a beautiful day but not one was outside and that felt ominous to you.

2. I live in an expensive area in the McLean/Vienna area. We definitely have tons of times no one is seen outside. So? The only time this would be ominous is in a scene from The Last of Us.

3. Your words were: Later at pickup, I got weird really vibes. Not the best neighborhood but I gave them the benefit of the doubt. I can’t explain it, but my intuition senses something off and I just felt the need to flee. I’ve never experienced anything like it before. Without prompt, DD later told me that the friend told her she never has friends over and DD was the first school friend to ever come over.

Clearly this isn’t about how no one was seen outside on a beautiful day.

Wow a mile away from crime. Isn't everyone in DC a mile away from a high crime area? Get a freaking clue OP. This thread has taken off because you literally posted doom about a neighborhood you gave the benefit of the doubt to. Now we learn the benefit of the doubt was about no one being outside on a nice day???????????????

I think you're going to keep getting roasted or this was a great troll response lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I can’t believe how this has taken off. I wish I had been more clear in my OP.

The neighborhood is geographically in a very transitional area, I think is the best way to describe it. About a mile from a REALLY high crime area (shootings, stabbings) but then also a mile away from an area will million dollar homes.

FWIW, we are the same race as the family. We are also “DC poor” in our 1000sf home on the “poor” side of town. I’m sure our house has been judged by those wealthier than us.

I said “benefit of the doubt” because I wasn’t sure if the neighborhood would be more like the crime area, or more like the rich area. Our girls go to a magnet school so very diverse.

There weren’t overt signs of crime, but it was a beautiful early spring day and the neighborhood was just so shut up and silent, not a soul outside, no movement, just eerie. I thought, on a day like this why isn’t there a soul outside? It was a gorgeous day. It just felt ominous. Were people not outside for reasons I didn’t know about?

I truly apologize if my post came across as racist or classist as that wasn’t my intent.

This seems like you’re trying to revise the way your original post came across bc:

1. You mentioned nothing about how the thing that threw you off was the fact that it was a beautiful day but not one was outside and that felt ominous to you.

2. I live in an expensive area in the McLean/Vienna area. We definitely have tons of times no one is seen outside. So? The only time this would be ominous is in a scene from The Last of Us.

3. Your words were: Later at pickup, I got weird really vibes. Not the best neighborhood but I gave them the benefit of the doubt. I can’t explain it, but my intuition senses something off and I just felt the need to flee. I’ve never experienced anything like it before. Without prompt, DD later told me that the friend told her she never has friends over and DD was the first school friend to ever come over.

Clearly this isn’t about how no one was seen outside on a beautiful day.

Wow a mile away from crime. Isn't everyone in DC a mile away from a high crime area? Get a freaking clue OP. This thread has taken off because you literally posted doom about a neighborhood you gave the benefit of the doubt to. Now we learn the benefit of the doubt was about no one being outside on a nice day???????????????

I think you're going to keep getting roasted or this was a great troll response lol

+1 What a bunch of bs! I’ve driven through multimillion dollar neighborhoods and not a soul was outside. I never got a sense of doom or ominous feeling. What a load of crock!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I can’t believe how this has taken off. I wish I had been more clear in my OP.

The neighborhood is geographically in a very transitional area, I think is the best way to describe it. About a mile from a REALLY high crime area (shootings, stabbings) but then also a mile away from an area will million dollar homes.

FWIW, we are the same race as the family. We are also “DC poor” in our 1000sf home on the “poor” side of town. I’m sure our house has been judged by those wealthier than us.

I said “benefit of the doubt” because I wasn’t sure if the neighborhood would be more like the crime area, or more like the rich area. Our girls go to a magnet school so very diverse.

There weren’t overt signs of crime, but it was a beautiful early spring day and the neighborhood was just so shut up and silent, not a soul outside, no movement, just eerie. I thought, on a day like this why isn’t there a soul outside? It was a gorgeous day. It just felt ominous. Were people not outside for reasons I didn’t know about?

I truly apologize if my post came across as racist or classist as that wasn’t my intent.

When I go to my parents neighborhood, which is million dollar homes, no one is out. When I got to the next section over from us which is wealthier no one is out either. Some neighborhoods are like that. A mile is a far distance. You are being absurd. If the parent took good care of your child, that is what is important.

Crime can happen anywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do not believe in playdate without parents present. I am not taking the responsibility of looking after someone else's kids.

When my kids were little, the moms of their friends would hang out at my home and everyone kept a watchful eye.

I used to give a time for the playdate to end, at the beginning of the playdate. Having an end time meant that the kids made the most of the playdate. Also, I was not a big fan of one-on-one playdate. Any and all could join the playtime at my house.

This is in tweens and teens; parents aren’t going to come while 12 and 13 year olds hang out.

[Anonymous]

Op, a mile away from a high crime area is actually a pretty good distance. Not sure, but can you actually research the street they're on to see what crime is like right there?

It's possible they do live in an area where the kids shouldn't be out walking around the neighborhood, but hanging out in the house is fine.
But ultimately, if something gave you the creeps, it's ok for you to decline future invites for a while. Invite her to your house more often. Make sure the kids are comfortable and fed and left to themselves when they are at your house so they'll always want to be there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you just don’t want your daughter hanging out in the poor neighborhood or was there something off about that specific house or living situation?

Why did you assume it was a poor neighborhood?

I assumed a snobby, cold place with ugly McMansions.